Debbie Lundberg Life & Business Coaching

Child-like Behaviors = Adult Results

2012-01-27T15:50:00.000-05:00

“It is the childlike mind that finds the kingdom.” - Charles Fillmore, American Linguist (b. 1929)

When was the last time you acted like a child? Have you been recently you have acted childish? The two are not the same, you know!!! The former I am supporting, and the latter, well, I think you already know about that one…

We mature, responsible adults can get caught up in the seriousness of our adult lives, and yet being all too serious can eclipse the fun that we have to make the time to have! Sure, sure, we have places to be, bills to pay, proposals to finish, a dog that could use a bath, or a room to organize (really, does the list go on and on like that?!?!?), and yet unless we allow ourselves to “play”, we will feel the lack of fun in our personal and professional lives.

I am not promoting skipping an event for which you have RSVPed or calling in sick, rather, either allow yourself “fun time” each day or week for something (somewhat) spontaneous, and/or schedule something childlike or playful each day or each week. Playing can be one of the most important thing we can do for ourselves and for those we want to feel connected to personally and/or professionally. Much research shows children learn the most through active play. Play generates creativity, endorphins, relaxation, heart-rate fluctuations and/or all of the above!

So, make a list of something you can do that is simply fun. If it accomplishes no other goal than having a good time, that alone is enough. You may want to do this with your spouse, partner or team…heck even your whole company! You may want to be child-like all by yourself. That is up to you! Go ahead, get out there and enjoy your day, your week, your life like you did when you had less on your plate, and likely you will feel lighter, better, and even more equipped to tackle those adult responsibilities once you have played…once you have acted like the child you once were, in order to enhance the adult you now are!

How Feedback Really POPS!

2012-01-20T06:12:00.000-05:00

“Action may not always bring happiness ... but there is no happiness without action.” ~ Benjamin Disraeli, 1st Earl of Beaconsfield, KG, PC, FRS, (21 December 1804 – 19 April 1881)

While we rarely want to get criticized, most of us appreciate constructive feedback…after all, feedback is a way in which we can reflect, take action, and eventually grow. Criticism often just smacks us down, defeats us, or drives us to change just to prove we can.

Well then, how can we share ideas for improvement without taking away from the efforts...and without being too timid?

There are many approaches to sharing insights, including the “kill ‘em with kindness approach the “lay it on the line approach”, and even the “Oreo cookie approach”. In my experience, if you want to really be constructive, professional and effective, consider using the “POPS approach”.

Where the “kill ‘em with kindness approach” can be wimpy and the opportunity to improve can be lost in niceties, and the the “lay it on the line approach” can be overly harsh and direct, and even the “Oreo cookie approach” of having that was rough/wrong first, softened in the middle with something that went well, and then finished with something else that was solidly wrong can still be negative, and even confusing. The POPS approach is:

Positive
Opportunity to improve
Positive
Summarize

In other words, it is the reverse of the Oreo, and therefore is about what is right, and how to enhance/change something in order to be even stronger. If someone gave a talk that was strong and effective, but few people could hear it, the POPS approach would be: “Sue, you had a strong opening with the statistics and that went well. You may want to use a microphone or learn to project your voice, as you had a lot of your audience straining to hear you, and that is the role of the speaker…to be heard. Also, your video clips were powerful and funny. So, stick with your stats, work on volume or a mic, and keep the humor, and you’ll likely have even a more lasting impression on the audience.”

By offering two sincere compliments and one bit to improve twice (one in the statement, and again in the summary), you are likely to be perceived as assisting the person, providing feedback over just criticism, and it will likely make a favorable impression that will lead to change/action versus defense or frustration on the receiver’s part!

Personal Advisory Board

2012-01-12T06:21:00.000-05:00

Write down the advice of him who loves you, though you like it not at present. ~ English Proverb

You are Me, incorporated. You are responsible for you, your happiness, your direction, your actions, and eventually, your results!
Whether you own your business, are a partner in a practice, work for a firm, or simply want direction in whatever you are doing, you may be lonely, looking for direction, or simply enjoy a sounding board of sorts! This is where a Personal Advisory Board (PAB) comes into play…

A PAB is a group of people you like, admire, trust and respect, who want the best for you and have other expertise/perspective than you do. The PAB consists of whomever you like, and I find it is most successful when you have no more than 10 people on it, and minimally, you have the following roles defined:

Driver – someone to whom you are accountable (likely a spouse, partner)
Cheerleader – someone who sees the good in you and most things, who believes you can do most anything (could be your parent or best friend)
Strategist – a business person who has a perspective of what may or may not work, timing and opportunities (someone you admire for his or her big picture thinking)
Problem-solver – someone who is a detail person who looks for resolve instead of conversation (a go-to person for issues)
Mentor – someone in your industry who can assist with industry or company issues (they have expertise in your field)
Coach – someone who can ask the what and how questions and give ideas from other similar situations (not a friend, could be a professional coach, a former teacher of yours, someone you trust and confide in from personal to professional issues – not part of your industry, likely)

The Personal Advisory Board members are not financially compensated, but you may want to consider a special gift of thanks each year for your Board. Your PAB can be a yearly requested role for a person that starts in January or February and ends in December, as you do not want to overstep your request, or for someone to overstay his/her influence. Set the request, expectations and time up front, so each requested Board member can decide if there is a fit for him/her. You likely will interact with your PAB once a quarter in a meeting in person, via the web or phone, and you may chat with them in between. Ensure your dates and times are set at the onset of the PAB requests.

Often we find ourselves needing advice and counsel, or we are just misdirected. With a Personal Advisory Board, often the distractions or misfires can be avoided, or minimally calmed and repositioned to ensure success and growth in the year ahead!

Be Resolved

2012-01-05T11:54:00.000-05:00

“Your success and happiness lies in you. Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties.” - Helen Keller, American Author and Educator who was blind and deaf. 1880-1968

Happy New Year! As many of you know, I am not a fan, proponent, or practitioner of New Year's Resolutions. I am not knocking you if you like them, either...

For this start of a new year, rather than resolutions, please consider being resolved to:

Be true to you and your family
Think people first and money second in business
Know your personal brand, and don't compromise it for others
Recognize your strengths and your opportunities to improve...and work in/on both
Consider the other person's perspective prior to reacting to him or her
Decide that you are going to celebrate progress, and not just focus on perfection
Leave work early if you used to stay way too late, or stay late if you used to leave way too early
Be your own biggest fan...and be someone else's big fan, too
Have a mantra that works for you, about you, and that you say to yourself for your own pep talk
Assess what is important for you this year, verbalize it, see it happening, take action, and enjoy the results

If those 10 are minimally part of your plan, I anticipate you will be resolved to be productive, happy, contributing, learning, and lovin' life...and what better plan for the year could there be?!?!?

Cheers to an outstanding 2012,

Debbie

RIP 2011 (Reflect, Inspect, Project)

2011-12-29T11:19:00.000-05:00

“Follow effective action with quiet reflection. From the quiet reflection will come even more effective action.” ~ Peter F. Drucker, American Educator and Writer, b.1909

As we wrap up the wonderfully active and interesting year of 2011, please ensure you are not just passing the days and nights in hopes of a better tomorrow or next year. At the same time, let’s not get caught in the afterglow of what was.

During the last portion of an experience, project, or yes, even a year, it is well-serving to schedule time to do what I call Reflect, Inspect and Project (RIP).

As you work through the RIP process, allow time (and discussion if including others) on the past experience, project or year by sharing 1st REFLECT on what were the highlights, then what were the low-lights, and also, how to avoid the low-lights in the future while creating more highlights. This is where you can have 20/20 hindsight for the past. 2nd, INSPECT where you are right now, and if there is anything left undone or unseen, not communicated, or somehow vague. This is where you really look at the present. 3rd, PROJECT by looking ahead in weekly, monthly, quarterly, semi-annually or annual time tables. Decide what you want to do, by/with whom, for what reason, and note how you will measure success. This is your look to the future.

As simple as it may seem, by touring the past, present and the future through reflection, inspection and projection, you can often appreciate what you have, finish what you started, and get energized and focused on what is to come.

Thank you for an amazing and enjoyable 2011…here’s to much more in 2012!

Toasting - Part of a Bigger ACT

2011-12-13T06:20:00.000-05:00

“The strongest and sweetest songs yet remain to be sung.” - Walt Whitman

With all the gatherings, and perhaps some eating and drinking going on, toasts are often just a simple “Cheers!”, and while that is okay to hear and say, a toast can still be simple, and yet be part of a bigger ACT!

If you want to feel good about your presentation, allow your guest(s) to know you care, and set the mood for the experience, consider using the following to take ACTion with the toast:

A – Acknowledge the reason you are together
C – Connect the event with other feelings or thoughts (2-4)
T – Talk specifics

An example for a work event is:

Tonight we are here for our holiday party!

This party is to appreciate you, celebrate the year we have had, and look forward to sales and service in the future.

Thank you to each of you for your work, thank you to our customers and clients, and thank you in advance for a great 2012!

Cheers, and enjoy the party!

Something for Hanukkah is:

Today we are together to celebrate Hanukkah!

Hanukkah is about reflecting on what we have, showing appreciation for the abundance that we don’t expect, and about gathering and being together.

So, here is to the delicious meal we are about to enjoy, for the health and well-being we each are experience, and to every one of you who chose to share in this celebration with us!

Cheers, and Happy Hanukkah!

Another example for Christmas is:

Today we are here to celebrate Christmas!

Christmas is a time to think about new beginnings, our perspective, and the way we treat others.

So, here is to a new year nearly upon us and a great one to remember, a belief in ourselves, and to being kind to others throughout the year!

Thank you for joining us, and Merry Christmas!

Similarly, for New Year's, you have:

Tonight is the last night of 2011!

2011 has been a year of more ups than downs, one of much news, and a time we will all remember.

Here’s to all of our fond memories together, to making our news “good news”, and to making more memories with one another.

Cheers to closing out 2011, and to welcoming in 2012!!

Whether you toast with “Cheers”, or you make your toast part of a bigger ACT, here’s to you, and safe, enjoyable celebrations this holiday season!

Get the SCORE

2011-12-06T06:29:00.000-05:00

"The one exclusive sign of thorough knowledge is the power of teaching." - Aristotle

Often people want us to "check this out" or "take a look at this" because they "thought this might be interesting", and while that may seem thoughtful to them, it becomes a TO-DO for us!

When you have a team sharing things, ask for the SCORE before accepting what they are passing along. The SCORE is:

S - State. State what they are sending, not just "FYI"
C - Cover. Cover 2-4 points about the article, company, opportunity, person, etc. that they deem of interest.
O - Offer. Offer their ideas on the way it works, doesn't work, fits, doesn't fit, potential ways to use or avoid it.
R - Reference. Get them to reference their suggestion of what to do moving forward. What is his/her preferred next step?
E - End. What is the summary statement overall in what they plan to do or want you to do.

Since we teach people how to treat us, the same SCORE tip is true for you when you are sharing with others...family, friends, colleagues or team members, as getting the SCORE up front could mean a win later!

Attitude of Appreciation

2011-11-30T06:16:00.000-05:00

"I would rather be able to appreciate things I cannot have than to have things I am not able to appreciate."

~ Elbert Hubbard, American editor, publisher and writer, 1856-1915

Many of us use 'thankful' and 'grateful' interchangeably, and they are different by most definitions, and yet similar in some ways. Thankfulness is about a sense or feeling to be pleased or relieved over something that happened. Gratefulness is about showing appreciation for something someone has done for you.

So as not to get caught up in semantics, let's instead approach each day, each person with an attitude of appreciation. Appreciation, after all is the combination of being thankful and expressing gratitude.

After all, our attitude is the only thing we can fully control.

There is an ease to being appreciative when things go the way we want them to go. The real challenge and true opportunity is when we can stretch to be appreciative of what does not go the way we anticipated. Remember to allow the feeling, and express it outwardly in order to engage in the full act of appreciation.

Sound nutty? It is in that filling way nuts can offer flavor and give you some nourishment. The ability to see through a situation and get the learning, is something that nourishes the soul and feeds our growth. Being appreciative in the midst of adversity or disagreement or challenge is being thankful it is not worse, and grateful for what comes out of it for you...regardless of what others attempt to influence or change.

As we finish our leftovers and start on the holiday shopping and sharing, please include appreciation on your daily list of activities!

Giving Thanks!

2011-11-23T04:53:00.000-05:00

“Appreciation is a wonderful thing. It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.” ~ Voltaire

Thankfulness is something we tend to talk about and celebrate primarily in November in The United States of America. Still, thankfulness and appreciation for an act or abundance need not be reserved for days when turkey is traditionally served.

Regardless of your religion, position in life, or state of mind, often we are with others in groups around events and/or celebrations. When with others during special occasions, holidays, or every day, simply be thankful for them this way:

State his/her name (or nickname...it’s okay with family/friends...avoid nicknames in business), You make me thankful for you because of your (attribute) and you inspire me to (their inspiration to you). Thank you.

Example I: Danielle, you make me thankful for you because of your creative wit and you inspire me to be playful. Thank you.

Example II (with varied verbiage): Steve, you make me thankful for your generosity and you make me want to be a giving person as well. Thank you.

Example III (letting someone know you acted as a result of them/their inspiration): Carol, you make me thankful for you because you taught me to listen well and because of you, I became a Big Sister. Thank you.

Example IV (a strictly professional affiliation): John, you make me thankful for your loyalty and because of your referrals, you have been a part of my business/sales growth. Thank you.

Note that the word “I” is not used as the first word (or really much at all). This is to ensure the other person knows it is about him or her and for him or her. Keep you thankful, and that other person in the forefront of the message and thankfulness.

Go ahead, use one or all of these with people for whom you are thankful...on a special day...or any day...and see how it makes a difference for you and the person with whom you shared! Happy Thanksgiving!

4 E’s to Idea-Sharing

2011-11-17T06:08:00.000-05:00

An idea that is developed and put into action is more important than an idea that exists only as an idea.” ~ Buddha, Hindu Prince Gautama Siddharta, the founder of Buddhism, 563-483 B.C.

So often we are in meetings, or sessions where ideas are requested and shared, or not requested, yet still shared. What makes some of them worthy of hearing out, and others fall on deaf ears, so to speak? Often it is in the approach, the amount of time spent, and the ability to stop talking (or inability to stop talking) about an idea that makes one decide whether or not to listen!

Here are the 4 E’s to Idea-Sharing that just may get your voice heard:
E – Explain. Share the concept briefly and seek acknowledgement. Make sure you have people’s attention first, and you can give the details later. Show enthusiasm, control, direction and passion.
E – Elaborate. Once you have people’s interest, then you can go into more details. A wonderful way to elaborate is with a scenario (what if…), a story of how it has worked in the past, or by bulleting or numbering steps that it would take to put the idea in place.
E – Execution. Demonstrate the realm of executing your idea. Include people, time, budgets and more quickly and concisely to give people the sense that this idea can/will become a reality if selected rather than just keeping it a theory.
E – Exit. Allow the idea to be tabled, considered at a later time, or dropped. The worst thing is “selling through the close”, when someone keeps going on and on when an idea has been adopted or quelled and the originator of the idea simply will not let the conversation end. Note the body language, temperature and interest while you are speaking and note when enough is enough.

By following the 4 E’s to idea-sharing, it does not mean each idea will be implemented, rather it shows effective communication, a professional approach, and respect for the time of the listeners…and likely that means more of your ideas will get heard rather than seem like fleeting ideas for others when you get to your next meeting or brain-storming session!

The Power of a BYE List

2011-11-08T14:12:00.000-05:00

Our thoughts create our reality - where we put our focus is where we tend to go."

- Peter McWilliams, writer and self-publisher of best-selling self-help books (1949-2000)

The invitations are aleady coming. Turkeys are being bought. Families are preparing for "that" uncle or "that" aunt who does "such-and-such" each year during the holidays. Wow, the holidays are nearly here!

Before you get too caught up in the idea of stuffing and shopping, please consider creating a BYE list. This BYE list will include all you want to do
Before
Year
End

If you make a list of events, people, experiences, and travels, you can decide what is realistic for the amount of time you have before you are ringing in 2012. For the BYE list, start and finish it within 48 hours, and ask anyone with whom you spend a lot of time (spouse, family, friend) to do the same. After you complete it, prioritize those items on the list, and meet with anyone else you asked to make the BYE list. In doing this, you will learn about you, learn about the other person/people, and you can decide what you will do together and what you will do alone or with other people. From there, get out your calendars (phones/iPads), and make the commitment to what you want to do so that you are not standing somewhere on New Year's Eve wishing "if I only had", and excusing it with "but the holidays were so busy".

Go enjoy the things on your list, and make the most of the next 50+ days before 2011 has gone BYE!

LESS Stuff Means So Much MORE!

2011-11-01T13:36:00.000-04:00

“Life is a grindstone, and whether it grinds a man down or polishes him up depends on the stuff he's made of." - Josh Billings, 19th century American humorist Henry Wheeler Shaw (21 April 1818 – 14 October 1885)
More often than not, the old adage of "less is more" rings true. When there is a drive for the opposite (that is the "more is more" mindset), remember that in those instances, "more" is likely just "stuff"...and who really needs more "stuff"?While the holidays season is upon us (and it has been for weeks in the stores, hasn’t it?), this is the perfect time for de-cluttering, and assessing whether or not you really want more “stuff” this year.By going through your office, closets, garage and more, you are likely going to be far more organized than you have been in the past at this upcoming seemingly sure segment of more-things-less-time! An added benefit to your knowing what you have is that it will also reveal what you want for your home life or business in order to be most prepared, effective and efficient as you round out the year. Perhaps the biggest benefit will go to others in that you can donate now (not December 31st) for/to people who can utilize it during the upcoming winter months (and even give you a deduction for your taxes and an increase in your connection to the community).So, go ahead, get rid of the “stuff” that is cluttering your space, and make room for what you want…organization and giving!

Pace Yourself

2011-10-19T17:43:00.000-04:00

“If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away.” - Henry David Thoreau, American Essayist, Poet and Philosopher, 1817-1862

At some point we were just dependent on others for where we went…our direction, our speed, and even our destination.

Then, we started to crawl. At that point, we were applauded, cooed, and even photographed making a new way for ourselves. We crawled to and fro, and while we had a little bit more control of our pace, and a little over our direction, really, others were still determining our destination.

We started walking, and watch out, the pace quickened…and so did the desire for others to set our pace…walk faster, slow down, get up, sit down…they were all commands that were heard frequently. More applause, and more expectations from others...still, the photos and pride kept coming!

From there, we learned to run…almost as quickly as we walked, we attempted to dash about, and often it was true that the faster our pace, the harder the fall. Still, we kept running, for the times we did not fall, we reached that destination faster…and we started really having input on our destination (mostly because we could “get away” from people with our agility and size!). At that point, either the photos were blurry, or our advancements were less impressive to others, so the pace was not rivaled by photos.

So I ask you now: Who is controlling your direction, your speed, and even your destination? Are you setting your pace for you that is realistic and attainable…challenging while not insurmountable?

Whether you are crawling or walking, running or even sprinting in your life, your business, and/or with your family, I am not suggesting your "should" be at a particular pace, rather, please consider your pace for you, your business and/or your family. Is the pace at which you are moving allowing for both enjoyment and progression? If so, sounds like you are setting a sound “you-pace”, and if you are not balancing the fun and the forwarding, set a different pace. Either add something/someone, or remove something/someone from your “to do list”, and let your pace work for you instead of against you. Allow yourself to be dependent and driven your-way for where you are going, your direction, your speed and ultimately, your destination!

Similar Does Not Mean “The Same"

2011-10-11T06:28:00.000-04:00

“I'd never just want to do what everybody else did. I'd be contributing to the sameness of everything.”
- Don Van Vliet (Artist and Musician, b. 1941)

When we are leading in our families, our businesses or teams, we seek to find likeness, and often rely on our past experience to guide us into the future.

Our past must be our guide in most cases, as it is our experience. And, after all, our experiences couple with our values to create our beliefs. Our beliefs are what guide us to our thoughts, words, and ultimately, our actions.

Remember, though, in this attempt to quickly process, and even group people and ideas together, that similar thoughts and actions are not the same thoughts and actions. It is useful to compare and contrast for familiarity and reference sake, and yet it is irresponsible and even dangerous to presume sameness. In thinking “I know exactly…” or “I have seen this before” quickly and often, we may miss out on the nuances of the differences…that which may make one very unique when allowed to be unique.

When you seek similar success or to avoid similar obstacles, keep the similar at the forefront, and resist lumping things into the sameness of speed and familiarity. Having the perspective of how we process and group things will remind you that leading is sometimes about the sorting and recognizing what is not alike as much as it is about being able to identify what is!

The Enemy of TLC...

2011-10-04T13:57:00.000-04:00

“Competition is easier to accept if you realize it is not an act of oppression or abrasion - I've worked with my best friends in direct competition.” - Diane Sawyer quotes (American news anchor, Reporter and Journalist, b.1945)

While all champions have rivals, and most successful companies and people have competitors, those types of opposites or contrary positions can be invigorating and drive the results...for both sides!

The same is not true for being opposed to TLC. Since we have embraced TLC as Talent, Leadership and Commitment, those three contributors often have opposition, too...only that opposition is the enemy...not something that drives and inspires, rather something that works to deplete or delete the opposite.
The enemy of talent is dishonesty, the enemy of leadership is pessimism, and the enemy of commitment is apathy. Stick with your Talent, Leadership and Commitment...it is the combination to win over dishonesty, pessimism and apathy every time.

Ensure you are staying true to your talents, and your quest for talent, to your leadership and your development of other leaders, and your commitment and the commitment of those with whom you surround yourself.

TLC for You and Me

2011-09-27T06:26:00.000-04:00

“When you don't know that you don't know, it's a lot different than when you do know that you don't know.”

- Bill Parcells, ESPN Analyst, Former NFL Coach (b.1942)

Football season is back! It is an exciting time of year for sports fans, as hockey, baseball and football are all available for our viewing pleasure! Bill Parcells is quoted this month because his Sunday pre-game commentary reminded me of what I call TLC for You and Me. It was as though he’d heard me speak or gotten inside my brain. I don’t know, and since I don’t know where it came from, per his quotation, it is a lot different than if I did know that!! So, regardless of what the reason, thanks, Mr. Parcells for reminding me of a worthwhile tip to share this month!

TLC is often thought of as Tender Loving Care, and I appreciate that. For me, TLC is about personal and professional success, and it stands for:

Talent
Leadership
Commitment

Whether it is your family, a sports team, or your work team or business, to be confident in what you know, and get to where you are driving forward to learn what you don’t know as you strive to succeed, you must have the right people handling the things that suit their skills and interests (Talent), the direction and passion to go out and make changes where needed and keep things the same where they are working well (Leadership), and all be working toward the same goal for the same reasons with a common brand and definition of a "win" (Commitment).

As you move forward finishing out the 3rd quarter, take a look at your roster, see who is playing on your team, is the TLC apparent? Do you have the Talent, the Leadership, and the Commitment to get to your goals and make it a winning season for your household, your league, your group or your business? Tweaking the TLC, and letting everyone know all three areas, Talent, Leadership and Commitment combine to be the base that will determine your results, will surely assist you in knowing you are the champions you can be!

Emotions at Work...

2011-09-22T10:21:00.000-04:00

“All learning has an emotional base.”
- Plato, Ancient Greek Philosopher He was the world's most influential philosopher. 428 BC-348 BC

Emotions at Work…

Would you agree that often Emotions + Office/Work = Awkward, Uncomfortable, Unpredictable Situations?

When people are express emotions, they are often deemed “emotional”. Is that fair? Is that true? When we are passionate, would we like to be labeled emotional? Likely not.

So, when are emotions appropriate at work or in the office? Or, are they? I say they are appropriate when directed at the common goal of the company or cause, when they are inspirational and inclusive rather than threatening and excluding. Think of emotion as drive, and emotional actions as something different.

In other words, harness your emotions to create a direction and a will to get something accomplished. Spend time, share ideas, get into the nitty gritty from the emotions that compel you. Please do not rant, expect others to agree, and not support something if it is not exactly what you want. The former actions are those of a leader, and someone who is mature, and the latter portrayal highlights immaturity and lack of leadership.

If you, or someone on your team has been considered emotional, please take a moment to reflect on how to re-engineer the emotional perception into the emotional command of the leadership that can result from a passionate person, and see how Emotions + Office/Work = Learning & Success!

Listen More Slowly...

2011-09-13T07:18:00.000-04:00

“To listen well is as powerful a means of communication and influence as to talk well." - John Marshall

Do you ever feel like listening is a pain, time-consuming, or just something you are “not good at”? If so, you are likely driven, high-energy, and possibly slightly (I am being kind) impatient. That’s okay, it got you where you are today. If you want to connect further, learn more, and even offer value in how you converse from the listening side, please consider these tips for what I call “listening more slowly” to others:

-Take notes
-Consider the topic and not the person
-Imagine you have to “buzz in” before responding, so that you make a physical motion before opening your mouth
-Ask what or how questions for clarification (watch your tone) before offering your view
-Agree with a person and disagree with an idea (no attacking someone…especially by name)
-Share what you perceive the person is stating and ask if you are on-track prior to sharing an opinion
-Let someone know you would like time to process it (if you have nothing kind to say or you want other information)
-Remember, you are listening to learn, not just listening to respond

By even focusing on listening in a positive way (not saying “I’m just not a good listener”) , your efforts will pay off in improvement. Then, if you incorporate one or all of the tips/tools above, you just might hear something you really like!!

Say It...Even When It's Uncomfortable

2011-09-07T11:12:00.001-04:00

"Silent gratitude isn't much use to anyone."

~ G.B. Stern, British Novelist, (1890–1973)

Have you ever wished you had the right words, timing and impact? While it would be wonderful to think each of us knows exactly what to say, when to say it, and how to say it, that simply is not true.
When it comes to compliments and recognition, unstated appreciation does not do anyone much good.
If you are not sure how to say something, consider:

- Leading with the person's name
- Saying something like "Even if this is a bit awkward..." or "While I wish I had exactly the right words...", or "Even though this may seem like it's coming from left field..."
- Sharing the compliment or recognition briefly without a comparison to anyone else or how someone did it in the past
- Moving on quickly by no longer talking about it

How many times have you seen, heard or experienced something done well, and you simply are not sure how to address it, so you don't address it at all? Let that be a thing of the past, and know it is okay to be unsure, and even better to be someone who shares positive happenings with others!

The Environment You Create

2011-08-16T07:35:00.000-04:00

“Be careful the environment you choose for it will shape you; be careful the friends you choose for you will become like them.” - W. Clement Stone, American best-selling Author and Founder of Combined Insurance Co (now a part of Aon Corp.), 1902-2002)

As a leader, you set the tone...or you allow the tone to be set. For your business, and therefore, your results, that is the environment in which you work. The same is true in life for the environment in which you live.

The way to ensure you are enhancing your work and life with your environment is to do an enviro-check for you, meaning what works for you and what does not, including:
• The surroundings
• The color(s)
• The sounds
• The space
• The culture/attitudes
• The people

While the first four may seem easier to change than the last two, all are important. Where you are, what envelops you as far as color and space, the "feel", and the people all summarize to create either a healthy or non-healthy environment for you.

If you do an enviro-check and all is well, good for you! If you do the check, and it's not so great, then make the subtle or grand changes to ensure your environment is leading you to the approach, the actions, and the results you want (and deserve!)!

The Leadership CAP (Not GAP)

2011-08-11T12:59:00.000-04:00

“The purely agitational attitude is not good enough for a detailed consideration of a subject.”

- Jawaharlal Nehru, Indian Prime Minister

(1889-1964)

When caps are not on marker, the marker dries out. Without a cap on one’s head in cold weather, the heat escapes. If there is no cap on spending, budgets cannot be met. Similarly, without the Leadership CAP, things get overlooked.

The leadership CAP is a little different, though. Instead of stopping things or shielding things, the leadership CAP allows for growth, and reveals things by having:

Consideration
Appreciation, and
Perspective

for the person/people with whom you are interacting and/or the situation with which you are involved.

Keeping consideration for those involved and the instances, the appreciation for what has been done (or what you expect to be done), and the perspective on what is realistic, you will remain the leader you (and even more so, others) want you to be, and not the micro-manager some become when they are un-CAPped!

Reviewing Resumes: Yours & Theirs!

2011-08-02T14:25:00.000-04:00

“Hide not your talents. They for use were made. What's a sundial in the shade?” - Benjamin Franklin, American Statesman, Scientist, Philosopher, Printer, Writer and Inventor. (1706-1790)

Resumes are the predominant American way of stating/sharing work experience as well as someone's potential based on roles held coupled with accomplishments.

In order to ensure you are represented well, and positioned for a speaking engagement or a new opportunity (if you are looking or others are looking at you), consider updating your resume quarterly with quantifiable results. Even if you love where you are, it is a great tool for bringing up talking points during informal reviews or when you are seeking a promotion.

Likewise, as a leader, you either hired or inherited people who were hired at your company/firm. So, dig those resumes out from HR and take a look at each of your team members’ resume once a quarter as well. Every person has talents that are not being utilized, and experiences that may assist with things other than their primary role. Use the resume as a tool for bringing up talking points during informal reviews or when you are interested in learning what goals your staff member has.

Since most everyone has a resume, let’s get them updated, or at least dusted off, to ensure we are not hiding the many talents each of us has!

10 Ways to Compel through Connection!

2011-07-29T06:56:00.000-04:00

"There are no traffic jams along the extra mile." - Roger Staubauch

Businessman & Heisman Trophy Winner (born February 5, 1942)

While there is much talk about how to serve clients, below is a top 10 list of ways to truly make a connection. This approach means not just customer service, it means client care. This means not just reacting to a situation, it means responding to the person in the situation. Often we think we want to tell people about something, but that is just chatter, and then we make the attempt to sell them on an idea, but that has a lot to do with convincing and persuasion, and if we reach a level where someone is compelled to work with us and/or partner with us as a client or customer, then we have built a relationship through true rapport!

10. Wow them with your words, and make them ambassadors through your actions. Say what you mean and do what you say you will do. Offer incentives and ask for referrals. Welcome people back instead of asking where have YOU been? No need to discount you or your product, instead, show appreciation with special offers/opportunities.

9. Think and say "Yes, and", and demonstrate an "Absolutely I can" attitude. Start positive and stay positive. Focus on what is RIGHT versus what is WRONG. Be humble in your errors and show moxie in your solutioning. Have fun in what you are doing.

8. Plant the SEED (Strive to Exceed Expectations Denoted) for Success. You have to know what is expected to meet/exceed the expectation. Be humane...not just human.

7. Know your "difference", live your truth and be memorable. Remember the win is not just in getting a customer, it is also about keeping customers. Each client's perception of you and/or your company will determine how well you do this and that perception will depend on how compelling you are to them. Make things a memorable experience. The connection of knowing someone's name and smiling sincerely are great for a start. Leave people with something they either cannot get elsewhere or cannot get in a way you deliver it. Know your 2-4 areas of expertise and stick with them. Otherwise, say "no thank you", and connect, connect, connect as the referral source.

6. Get and Give Feedback. Take notes, use names, and really listen. Listen to understand instead of just to react. If you are a challenged listener, notes will slow your pace. Agree with a person and disagree with an idea (not the other way around). When you survey your clients, and I encourage surveying, share the results quickly and without defense. Own the results and state the actions you'll take...and then do just that!! Address the issue at hand, and then dig into the root cause.

5. Adopt a no-corner-cutting mentality/approach. If you already have one, let everyone know! Our society is about "gimme more"...and what else can I get. Be the one with the integrity to walk away.

4. Give back...for the right reasons. Checks are nice, actions make a difference, and advocacy allows for learning. People like to do business with people who are more than business. Earn their respect and then share about charities/groups for the reason of advocacy and learning, and not just to get recognized or to be a top fund-raiser. Strive for fun-raising instead...and your give backs will get even more!

3. Appropriately Promise and Appropriately Deliver (Instead of Under Promise and Over Deliver or Sandbagging). Be a business of both empowerment and accountability. Offer options...only 2-3 and only those with which you are okay.

2. Strive for inclusivity instead of exclusivity. There is a difference in when people are part of something versus people attempting to "get in" where there is a level of discomfort. Make people feel welcomed and a part of your success.

1. Know that the quality of customer service cannot exceed the quality of the people who provide it. Your team, even if you are a team of 1, will treat others how they are treated. Start with a positive view of you...that view carries far! There is a connection with how we feel about ourselves and how we care for others. Invest in you/your team a set % of earnings, and only let that grow as your success grows!

Pick and choose what works for you in your situation. How can you enhance your customer and client relationships through care and connection? After all, aren't we all about compelling customers and clients to drive Client Satisfaction and Build Lasting Rapport?

Charity for Giving...and Getting!

2011-07-22T06:58:00.000-04:00

“Be charitable before wealth makes thee covetous.” - Thomas Browne, Sr.
It’s almost as though the idea of giving back is supposed to be unique and almost auspicious, and yet there are so many simple, yet thoughtful and thorough ways to invest in your community, and really, in the long run, invest in you…from a heart and soul perspective.

By giving back, I don’t mean writing a check (which is terrific, too, so I am not negating the impact, just focusing elsewhere on this blog entry!).

Not sure where/how to give? If you haven’t lately, consider:
• Taking inventory of the things for which you are grateful.
• Recording all the people’s names who positively influenced you and how
• Noting all things you are good at doing.

From those three lists, you will have a clear picture of what means the most to you, how you got there, and an action/sharing you can contribute. Perhaps you are grateful for being healthy, your grandfather was a painter who encouraged you with words and insights, and you are good with a roller…that is a super combination for “Paint Your Heart Out” or another painting style charity. The same would be true for you if you have a love of music, you had a music teacher who inspired you and you are very effective with children…perhaps you volunteer for a church or after-school program about music education.

Whatever your triad of lists reveals, take action on it…and watch the difference you make in your community, with those you impact, and even in yourself. After all, there’s an old adage that reminds us that charity begins at home…let your home base be charitable in a way that works for many!

Time Working FOR You!

2011-07-16T08:40:00.002-04:00

“Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.” - Douglas Adams, British comic Writer, 1952-2001

As many of you have heard me say, and it is still true today “there is no such thing as a time lottery”. In other words, nobody experiences the stroke of midnight to find 26 hours in front of him or her for the “next day” while others only get 22…it only feels/seems that way at times (full pun intended!)!

So often the focus is organization, time tracking and even time blocking in your tips, this tip is about remembering to make time work FOR you by not allowing time to recharge to get away from you or become an illusion as mentioned in the above quotation. How can you do that? Below are some items to consider:

-Schedule a “fun lunch” once every month…it is not about work, rather catching up or trying a new restaurant.
-Step away from your office or computer/desk for 10-15 minutes at least twice a day (not just for a meeting).
-Take a different route to/from work one day each week or month to experience (and even appreciate) what you get to see each day.
-Make a meeting request with your workout partner or trainer for 2-5 times a week, and respect it like a meeting (I bet you don’t blow off meetings).
-Take a lunch break…to eat, to meditate, to take a nap, to do a crossword, play a game on your smartphone, etc.

In all these cases, it is about intentionally respecting you and your time, allowing things to be experience, rather than just happen, and be fully engaged. Do whatever it is that allows you to recharge and appreciate/notice the time you are taking and how you are making your 24 hours work FOR you rather than against you or on you each day!

Weekly/Monthly Scorecard

2011-07-07T22:56:00.000-04:00

“The expectations of life depend upon diligence; the mechanic that would perfect his work must first sharpen his tools.” - Confucius

So often we think we know what is expected of us, and we believe we have communicated what we expect of others in our office, business, company or firm, and yet, I often hear of and experience miscommunication that leads to frustration and even lost accounts/opportunities. That plays to the timeless adage "inspect what you expect"!

In order to avoid not "being on the same page", please consider a weekly or monthly scorecard for you and for your team members. Like in school when we used to get grades fairly frequently (whether we liked those marks or not!), the scorecard has the following on it:

+The result area
+The goal
+The attainment for the time period
+Plan for improvement/recognition area

By utilizing a clear, quick approach to deliverables, it is far less likely that miscommunication and/or disappointment with performance will take place, and far more likely that the appreciation for the effort will!

Freedom Return On Investment

2011-07-01T08:50:00.000-04:00

“Freedom lies in being bold."
-Robert Frost, America Poet (1874 - 1963)

On this, our Independence Day weekend, remember the freedoms most of us want in life, and therefore in our workplace, are those that come from leadership and allow for leadership, those that rise from sincerity, and therefore encourage sincerity, and those that stem from a common goal of growth, learning and success so that each individual, and therefore, the company, can grow, learn and succeed.

These all cost so little financially, and yet offer so much Return On Investment (ROI) in the way long-term investment in yourself and others...

Remember to be bold and afford, encourage and appreciate all the freedoms you have and you embody this holiday, and throughout the year!

Make it a safe, happy and healthy 4th of July!

ABCs of Welcoming

2011-06-30T06:14:00.001-04:00

"You must welcome change as the rule but not as your ruler." - Denis Waitley, American Speaker and Author of Self-help Books. b.1933

Whether it is en route to a gathering or locating a new client, I am typically faced with a location that is either welcoming or not-so-welcoming, and it made me think about the similarities in the places that felt "right", and those that seemed oh-so-wrong...

When you are welcoming people to your home or your business, there are many things to consider including the invitation/meeting request, the directions/familiarity and the time of day/night.

While there may seem like a lot of things either overwhelm or distract you from that welcome, here are the ABCs of making someone feel included and welcomed at your home or your business location (and for some of you, that is one-in-the-same):

A - Approachability. Is your house or building free from debris? Can people see and get to your home or office? Is there a rickety gate or a friendly guard as their first impression? What would you think and feel if you approached your location as someone who had never been there? This A can also be thought of as "Accessibility".

B - Beauty. Sure, beauty is in the eye of the beholder...but a lot of people agree on ugly!!! Is there some color or greenery around your place? Is there a brightness and a flow to it? Are there coordinated colors and signage? What is your beauty, or lack of it "saying" to those who approach it? This B can be remembered as your "Brand", too. What is the brand you are conveying? And, is that the brand you want to convey?

C - Cleanliness. Hopefully nobody is bringing their white gloves to do the cleanliness test at your home or office, and yet a at a quick glance, ask yourself: do things appear tidy and clean? Are there dirty or wrinkled papers or displays that are not so hidden from view? Do people get the sense of sight, smell and touch that they can feel good about being in your space? This C can also remind you of the visitor's "Comfort". How comfortable might a stranger, new friend, client or prospect be in your home or office?

Taking a short leap of faith in presuming you want to be welcoming (and I hope you do!), then stick with the ABCs, and even make a trip to your home or office with/through the eyes of a new-comer, and see what you can do to up your welcome and increase your ABC impact on welcoming!

Name that Name - Introducing Yourself

2011-06-21T05:52:00.002-04:00

“Do you suppose I could buy back my introduction to you?”

- Groucho Marx, American Comedian, Actor and Singer, 1890-1977

While many of us meet a lot of people, and have been schooled on the ways to remember names, such as repeating the name three times, asking about the origin of the name, picturing people who have similar names, and/or associating the name with actions/events to connect, I have recently realized many people are not aware of the best way to introduce themselves.

To introduce yourself, first remember the other person’s favorite topic is him or herself, and therefore, s/he is thinking about him/herself and not you. That may seem harsh, and yet it is true.

Since the receiver of your name and handshake is not focused on you, if you focus on that person, you’ll be on “the same page”, so to speak! The best way to introduce is to:

Make eye contact
Smile, or minimally change your expression
Extend your right hand to shake hands
Listen for the other person’s name first
Share your name clearly, slowly and fairly loudly

Then yes, repeat their name, associate, chat and move on. What I am finding does not happen a lot includes: the eye contact, the extension of the hand, the waiting for the other person’s name, and the person sharing his/her name. Wait, that’s everything!!! Primarily people (almost hard to believe) do not state their name – yikes – no name, and yet that is how you will identify the person! If someone does not share his or her name, rather just a(n insincere) “nice to meet you”. Remember, it is not only professional, it is most appropriate to say “And your name is?” with a smile and kindness in your voice, or a pleasant “please forgive me, I missed your name.”

Remember, even if someone else introduces you, please repeat your first name minimally to the recipient of the introduction. After all, you want to be memorable by your name, and not as the person who did not share his/her name!!

Demonstrating Character Vs. "Being a Character"

2011-06-14T16:41:00.001-04:00

“Character is power; it makes friends, draws patronage and support and opens the way to wealth, honor and happiness.” - John Howe

If you want to demonstrate leadership with character, before you leave your office and/or your business each night, consider offering/asking these three things to each person with whom you work:

-Do you have the support you want?
-Is there anything I can do to assist you?
-I’m heading out…anything else before I leave?

These added inquiries may create more conversations and even take a bit more time than you anticipated, and yet you will show your character…instead of being the character who ducks out while others are working!!

5 Web-Catchy Ways

2011-06-09T11:42:00.001-04:00

“Most of us can read the writing on the wall; we just assume it's addressed to someone else.”

- Ivern Ball, Dadaist Poet

With so many people (students, your team, your clients, your competitors, your customers, your prospects, and your partners) getting information from websites, blogs and other on-line resources, ensure you are writing for web-catchiness by following the three ways to "catch" a reader on the web:

1. Hook Them
Give the "surfer" a reason to become a "reader". Use titles that grab their attention with less than 6 words in the title. Make them catchy (full pun intended here!).

2. Keep Them
Write tight, keep things brief, informative, bulleted and applicable. Cover the topic, reinforce, show application, and be done. Take out words. Use a photo or quotation to drive home a point. Make people want to finish what your "hook" started!

3. Direct Them
You have them there, and they are reading, so ensure you have hyperlinks, an underlined or highlighted word, phrase or web address, so the reader can quickly get more by clicking on the link to your website, another article, etc. Otherwise, if someone doesn't want more, they can skip that link, and it does not seem like so much verbiage to skim.

4. Love Them
Make the time and share the opportunity to recognize students, your team, your clients, your customers, your prospects, and your partners and any other things that are important to your readers. People love to be appreciated, read about themselves and/or things that are important to them.

5. Leave Them
Be done and leave them wanting more! Give a closing comment, challenge, or preview of what is next. Leave them satisfied with what you shared, and interested enough to come back!

Your challenge is to implement this or share it with someone else who manages your web presence and verbiage, and track the results. Be bold, and be available...after all these 5 Web-Catchy Ways may change how someone views you and/or your company, and make these efforts worth the catch!

3 Motivators to Consider

2011-06-02T16:05:00.000-04:00

“Really great people make you feel that you, too, can become great.” - Mark Twain, American Humorist, Writer and Lecturer. 1835-1910

In the realm of people seeking employment, businesses wanting more clients and customers, it is important to think about and process/respond to each individual's motivation for what they are doing (or not doing).

Be careful...we tend to think people are motivated similarly to how we are and feel we can "speak their language" as a result...and that is just not always the case, sometimes, it's not even often the case!

People are typically motivated by:

Money (Financial)
Recognition/Advancement (Position)
Time (Freedom)

Consider what drives you, and then incorporate learning, and really caring, about what drives those around you, and those you want on your team as a player or a client/customer. Once you know that, you can assist each person in achieving each of his/her accomplishments by partnering with him/her to get to their financial, position, or freedom goals. Plus, while you are chatting about motivation/drive, a whole lot of other topics might just get covered as well!

Memories Worth Recalling

2011-05-27T07:06:00.000-04:00

“Our memories are the only paradise from which we can never be expelled.” - Jean Paul Richter, German Novelist and humorist, 1763-1825

With Memorial Day approaching, it is timely to speak of respect, service, sacrifice and memories. I respect and appreciate the effort and the sacrifice those who have gone before us to allow us to live in the freedom we have, and that is worth writing and sharing every chance we get with our national anthem and pledge of allegiance. Keeping those people, and that idea of appreciating what we have in mind, please do look back fondly and with gratitude, AND, additionally, remember to be intentional about creating memories now that will be worthwhile later.

It’s not often we hear of regrets of what was done, rather we hear much about the regrets of what was not done. Go out in your life, your world, with your family, friends, and/or team, and keep in mind that each day, you are making memories for tomorrow, and ask yourself “Is this something worthy of a fond memory?” Not everything or every act is magical or sacrificial, and yet the overall impact of an encounter, project or activity can be.

So on the eve of this year’s Memorial Day, I honor and thank those we are not here so that we can be. And, I wish you intentional and enjoyable memories that you can relive in your hearts and minds often!

Raise the BAR!

2011-05-11T05:26:00.001-04:00

"Interview, Don't clamor for an interview. Instead search for the INNER VIEW. ”
- Sri Sathya Sai Baba, Indian Spiritual leader, b.1926

Whether you are searching for candidates to add to your team, or you are someone looking to make a move in advancing your career, make sure you are raising the BAR on your approach by including the following in your efforts:

Know your core competencies (employers – what you are seeking, potential employee – what you bring to the table), and be able to explain, see and demonstrate them each.

Watch the “likeability” factor. You cannot rely too heavily on it as an interviewee, and you can get burned by falling for it too quickly as the interviewer.

Make all of your assessment quantifiable, meaning employers look for the following in the resume and interview, and potential employees, provide in your interview and your resume the following:

Background – What the situation was; time and place as well as the expectations.
Action – What was done specifically by the individual; nobody is a “we”, and you cannot hire a “we”, it must be “I”, and it must be relatable and repeatable.
Results – The outcome of the actions in quantifiable language (percentages, numbers, hours – think people, time, money, quality) so that there is an assessing of effort and talent.

After all, if you don’t raise the BAR, who will? You are your product, you want the best for your company/business, so keep the BAR high, and measure only to it and above it!

NOW Show You are Really Listening!

2011-05-04T07:47:00.000-04:00

“Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk.”
- Doug Larson, Cartoonist and Columnist

Ever get distracted in conversations? Even good ones? Yikes, right? Then you start wondering if the other person noticed, and oops, now what was s/he saying?!?!?

The way to get engaged and stay engaged is to do it right NOW:
N – Note strong points on a sheet of paper or through notes on your smart phone or computer. Taking notes engages the sense of touch, and reinforces the sense of sound (hearing) with seeing the words on paper (sight).

O – Offer feedback verbally and non-verbally. Nodding and tilting your head, and allowing facial expressions and other cues to be a part of the conversation will engage your body with your mind. The other person or people in the conversation are “looking” for that acceptance and feedback subconsciously anyway, so it benefits you both.

W – Weigh the options through consideration and questions before simply answering or reacting to the other person. Give the ideas a chance to settle in…even if that means a few seconds of silence. Let the conversation weigh over you so that you are grounded and interacting…and therefore, not distracted.

Getting your NOW mindset for each individual conversation or meeting is a key to communication and leadership success, so go ahead, start really listening…right NOW!!!

Fear=Results Through Nerves, Energy and Action!

2011-04-28T09:49:00.000-04:00

“The energy of the mind is the essence of life.”
- Aristotle (Ancient Greek Philosopher, Scientist and Physician, 384 BC-322 BC)

While fear may seem paralyzing at times, remember, fear can be addressed for what it really is…a lack of knowledge, understanding and/or comfort, and eventually facing those obstacles will manifest that paralyzed feeling into the movement that matters most!

When you gather information, comprehension and a level of acceptance of discomfort, you can harness the fear and directed it into (or down to) nerves.

Nerves and nervousness are a form of energy, and energy will power and drive what happens next. If you embrace the nerves, you get to direct the way your nerves flow. From those nerves, you can generate real energy.

Directed energy can become the catalyst for action when you stay the course. Staying the course requires step-by-step movement, or action.
It is action in life that gets results. Repeat the actions you want rewarded, and watch the results follow.

It is from moving from fear through nerves, onto energy, and specifically action, that we get to results, and after all, isn’t that what we want in life…a result of a feeling, a position, money, role, placement, acceptance, or to be able to give more?

Allow your fear to be only what it is allowed to be…and watch what happens, as that fear within will soon become the results you may not have been sure how to achieve!

Not "Why?", Rather "What?" & "How?"

2011-04-19T07:00:00.000-04:00

“There are no foolish questions and no man becomes a fool until he has stopped asking questions.” ~ Charles P. Steinmetz

Many questions are asked each week, each day, and even each hour. We ask them of ourselves, our family members, our colleagues and our clients/customers. Questions are “good”, right?

Some questions yield good results…if by that you agree that good results are those that lead to conversation, relationships and results.

What makes a question more effective than another? Sure, your body language and tone have to demonstrate interest and openness, and making the presumption you are already there with a willingness and inquiring mind, what’s next?
The way we start a question is a big part of how the reply will result. “Why?” questions evoke defense, and “What?” and “How” questions invite conversation.

How so? When we were a toddler, we started asking “Why?” a lot, and at first, it was inquisitive and entertaining to others, and soon thereafter, our parents started thinking and even saying “because” with a quick quip, a sigh, or even impatience. It’s practically ingrained in us to react to a “Why?”, and yet we typically respond more thoughtfully to the “What?” and “How?” inquiries.

By replacing questions like “Why did you think that proposal was going to win?” with “How did you arrive at the price?” and/or “What indicated the positioning was aligned with theirs?”, you will progress and learn rather than hear excuses or raised voices (and blood pressure!).

Your challenge: for one week, resist asking “Why?” and replace the questioning with “What?” and/or “How?”. If you start with a “Why?”, simply rephrase. Watch, feel and even track the different interactions, and see if “Why oh why?” isn’t worth striking from your written and verbal communication…

More Birdies, Less Bogies…How to Keep Your Life On Par

2011-04-12T07:42:00.000-04:00

“Golf is deceptively simple and endlessly complicated.” ~ Arnold Palmer

On the heels of enthralling close to the 75th Masters, and with summer drawing near, a golf reference seems timely this week. After all, it’s often been said that life mirrors golf and golf is a reflection of life, so with that in mind, here are 10 ways to shoot for more birdies, less bogies…how to keep your life on par:

10. Consider the full course; the entire hole and not just the shot in front of you. Ensure you are planning and not just playing. Life is about the strategy, the execution, the enjoyment and the results. Life and golf give us obstacles…it is how we avoid or address them that matters in our score and our confidence.
9. Golf is both a physical and mental game; it is not a game of strength, but more of balance, focus and precision. Make time to take care of yourself physically, emotionally and mentally. When you are not at the top of your game, you mishit, misjudge, and often miss out! You must give your life, your family, your colleagues the best of you from the perspective of “you cannot give what you do not have”.
8. Plan to go for challenging shots after you have watched and learned. Have "moxumility"™. Have the moxie to go for an uphill, over the water and trap tee-shot for a chance at a birdie…as long as you have surveyed the course, assessed your swing and game accurately, and have the humility to know it is risky…yet so rewarding when done well! Like in life, with golf, practice doesn’t make perfect, it makes permanent.
7. Enjoy every course, every stroke, every hole, every round. Give fully to the game, and let that experience alone be enough for you right then. Leave everything else behind and be in the game for the game…for you and your full experience. Similar to your daily living, each one is new, fresh, and all yours…what clubs or words will you choose today?
6. Don’t come up short on your putts and know it’s okay to want the hole-in-one. You have to “go for it”, and if you do not dream big, how do you know where your boundaries are and how to push past them? The expression “never up, never in” comes to mind…and that is not just for putting…you are up for opportunities, promotions, engagements only when you go for them!
5. Take a day off if you are really struggling or your swing just feels “off”. Step back, step away, assess (don’t obsess) and let something else be the focus. You can/will come back rejuvenated and re-focused. Sometimes that is true with something that seems daunting or off for you outside the course. Is there a break, can you step away…if you don’t you risk injury or burnout, so give yourself a chance to “get it back”!
4. Play with people you like, admire, trust and respect. Play against your game, and not against them. Get their input, ask them to back off. You can do either with those people. Be the same insider for them. When you cannot select with whom you play, default to #3, as rarely have I met a person who said “I am so glad I was paired with that guy/girl who criticized my swing the whole round”. When you look at your circle of friends are they those who want you to do well, or those who are critical…I’d seek out the former over the latter.
3. Remember, golf is a game of etiquette and courtesy. “Please” and “thank you”, honors and respect are not dead on the course, and they need not be foreign in everyday life either. If someone says good shot, say thank you. Be happy for their “hole out” on the 8th hole for eagle…that could be you, and likely will be more quickly if you are kind over letting it get you. Stay out of lines, repair your divots, and leave the course a wee bit better for your having played it. It’s like on the road when you use your blinkers, give the courtesy wave, or at a building hold the door. Let the etiquette and courtesy extend beyond the links.
2. Dress for being on the course. Know and own your style. Golf is a game of color and prints, shoes and hats. It is on a golf course where you can blend in or stand out. Like in life, it is a choice how you present yourself to the world. Like your style, your life, your outcomes. Know that not everyone will agree or appreciate you and that is okay.
1. Embrace the idea that sometimes it’s best to let others “play through”. Let things go, be grateful and give back. So many people may never experience a life of golf, but you can be a part of giving them a chance to experience appreciation and a charitable heart. When people act like that two-some skipping holes and riding you closely- it’s okay not to teach them a lesson, rather let them play their game, play through, and you go on with the game you came to play!

“Doubt yourself and you doubt everything you see. Judge yourself and you see judges everywhere. But if you listen to the sound of your own voice, you can rise above doubt and judgment. And you can see forever.” ~ Nancy Lopez

With that, I wish you all of the top 10, more birdies, less bogies, and when you see forever, you see your life is exactly on par!!

Get Rid of Your STUFF!!

2011-03-23T06:08:00.000-04:00

“Don't just read the easy stuff. You may be entertained by it, but you will never grow from it.” ~ Jim Rohn

If you are noticing a disconnect with people, or simply that you are not as effective of a communicator lately, take a look at your “baggage” (we all have it!), and get rid of your STUFF! STUFF is what keeps us from making a connection, fully engaging, and therefore developing a real rapport. How are you doing with:

S – Saying crutch words (such as “Like”, “You know what I mean”, and “Does that make sense?” are just filler, they focus on you and don’t convey intelligence, communication or leadership)

T – Talking over time or people (rambling and disrespecting people is a surefire way to make it about you and not about them)

U – Un-approachable presence (seeming aloof, looking elsewhere, and using your smart phone or iPad while in their presence makes you not only seem unapproachable, it makes you seem like you want to be doing something else or be with someone else)

F – Fumbling with things (fidgeting or looking disorganized is not only distracting for you, it makes the other person uncomfortable, too)

F – Faking sincerity (a smile and sincerity are your best assets in most cases, but phoniness and false like-ability are not only going to turn others off, those other people will avoid you in the future…and likely suggest others do the same)

If your STUFF getting in the way, then clear out the “baggage”, fully engage, and get back to effective communication, professional behaviors and thriving relationships!

Presentation Mistakes to Avoid

2011-03-16T07:51:00.000-04:00

"Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new."
~ Albert Einstein
(German-born Theoretical Physicist, 1879 -1955)

Things happen during presentations. Nothing's perfect. By being prepared, you will not avoid oddities and flukes, but you will hopefully avoid the top 10 presentation mistakes that most everyone (admittedly, myself included) has made:

1. Being uncomfortable, not being prepared, or not being well-versed in your topic. You are to be the expert, or at least expert in the portions of the topic you are discussing! You may not know absolutely everything about a general topic, but know the few points you are covering, the angle you are taking, and/or the approach you are pitching.

2. Alienating your audience and/or not reading our audience. This can happen in many ways such as attempting to cover too much information. Pick 2-4 points, messages, highlights to cover, and stick with them consistently. Additionally, watch the attitude, the information, and your role as the presenter. If you come off as though you are "untouchable" or "above" the audience with too many points or a speed and depth that cannot be followed comfortably, you will lose the audience. Another way to lose your audience, and therefore, not recommended, is misreading or not attempting to read your audience. While you are presenting, the presentation (believe it or not) is about the audience, and not about you. Yes, stick with the plan and your preparation, but keep a pulse on the audience. For example, men, typically like statistics and graphs, brief stories and short presentations, where women often enjoy stories and images, few studies, and will give you quite a bit of attention/time. If you have a mixed age and gender, level and education, keep that in mind and use an appropriate mix of approaches to your audience's interests.

3. Complaining or repeatedly apologizing for anything. Apologizing or anything more than once...being late (do not do it!), the room, technology, the food, the service, the handouts, your voice, "not being an expert"...anything is too much! If something is not your forte, then do not present on it before getting where you are the expert in the room. Have you ever been somewhere and heard "Well, I'm no expert", or "These slides are not the best, but..."? Any of those comments discount you, and discount your respect for the audience. If you have something happen that is not as you wanted it, either move on (if the audience doesn't know, there is no need to bring negative attention to it), or apologize once, and only once, and move on!

4. Using technology and/or slides as your presentation instead of presenting with tools and support from technology. You are the presenter, you may use tools to support and enhance your presentation, but the slides or videos, games, etc. are not the presentation. Bury people in the audience in flash and "the latest and greatest", and you will likely bury your message as well.

5. Speaking to the screen, or too low for the audience to hear. Speak to the audience, with eye contact, and not to the screen. Use a tone and volume that is welcoming, commanding and at a level that can be heard in the back of the room.

6. Using tools or handouts that are not the right size or readily available. If you have handouts, then decide if you want to distribute (never "pass out", as it implies you are about to faint!) them before or during the presentation. If you decide to distribute them prior to presenting, keep them in order, and consider having them face down until you want people to read them (human nature is to read ahead, which means the audience is not listening to you or seeing what you are presenting at the time). If you are confident enough to distribute materials during the presentation, have them where you can get to them quickly and get them into the hands of the audience efficiently. Also ensure anything you use as a visual aid is legible and clear to everyone in the audience.

7. Using "verbal crutches" such as "um", "you know", "you know what I mean", "like". It is better to say nothing. A pause can be empowering...let it be. Additionally "does that make sense" implies the listener should be able to follow it, and that the onus is on the listener to figure the sense in it. Instead, asking in a humble tone "Does that follow?", "Was I clear?" or "Did I address that fully?" is kind, professional and effective. Other verbal crutches you may have used in the past are: "and so on", "and so forth", and/or "and such". These are quite similar to using etcetera a lot. They do not add fact, form or any additional leverage/credibility to a statement. If there is more to add, just add it quickly and professionally.

8. Mishandling questions. Tell people how long you have if you are in the formal Q & A portion or your presentation. If you are not there, attempt to answer the question(s) without getting too far off topic. Having a "parking lot" (in concept, or literally on a flip chart that is titled "Parking Lot", or on your iPad or laptop) that you introduce at the beginning of your presentation can keep you from rushing or going too in-depth. Whenever you have an inquiry, repeating a question assists the asker and the other audience members in following the flow. Additionally, while it seems supportive and positive to say "that's a great question", it is neither supportive nor positive. How so? Unless you say every question is "great", then it implies that the others are not so great, and may subtly discourage questions. Just leave out the qualifier, and state something before you answer like "thank you for asking", or that is a question I rarely get".

9. Being uncomfortable with a little bit of silence. A thoughtful hesitation, and letting people think in response to a question you have are both signs of confidence in yourself and appreciation for the audience.

10. Using your time poorly. Presenters starting late, going over on time, rushing the Q & A, and/or ignoring the fact that other presenters are going on after that presentation, are all mistakes that happen far too often. The audience's time is nearly as important as respecting their intelligence, position, and choice to be there.

Surely each of us will have other "opportunities to improve" in addition to these common mistakes to avoid. As mentioned, nothing (and nobody) is perfect. Let's go for what I call progress...not perfection while avoiding these "avoidable mistakes" while presenting powerfully!

Keeping Introductions REAL!

2011-03-08T08:25:00.000-05:00

“Diligence in employments of less consequence is the most successful introduction to greater enterprises.” ~ Samuel Johnson

While you may not introduce a lot, if you do, it is an important part of the speaker/presenter's message, as a good introduction gets the audience poised for a good talk, and a bad introduction must be overcome by the audience and the speaker. An effective introduction should be REAL, meaning the introducer simply, and only covers the:

Reason for the talk/presentation/training. Welcome people, and let them know what the topic is.

Examples of the importance of the topic. State 2-4 reasons someone will want to listen to the presentation.

Acknowledgement of the speaker’s credentials and name. Share 2-4 relevant facts about the speaker that will enhance the presenter’s credibility and pique the audience’s interest. Clearly and confidently state the name of the speaker/presenter last, with a pause between the last comment and the first name and a quick pause between the presenter’s first and last name.

Leading of the applause.

An example of “keeping it REAL” for an effective introduction is:
Welcome to the Presenting Powerfully workshop (R)! It is important we learn to present confidently and professionally, learn tips and tools for connecting with the audience, and that we get our messages across effectively (E). Our speaker comes to us as a 6-time publishes author, former regional and national leader, and a member of the National Speakers Association. Please welcome your expert on presentation prowess, Debbie Lundberg (A). Applaud immediately (L).

So, if someone is introducing you, ensure it is a REAL introduction or skip it. If you are introducing someone else, keep it REAL, and watch how that introduction is welcomed, admired, and leads to the start of a positive environment and expectation for the speaker and the audience!

St. Valentine's Spirit All Year Long!

2011-02-28T07:06:00.000-05:00

“Appreciation is a wonderful thing: It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.” ~ Voltaire, French Philosopher and Writer (1694-1778)

Early each February (if not sooner for retail reasons!) Saint Valentine is brought to life in many forms from cards to candy, but what about when images, figures and holiday happenings are not present? Do we stop giving of ourselves to others, and lose a little of that holiday love that is generated so generously around February 14th?

Not necessarily…

Without the cutout hearts, greeting cards and wonderful chocolates to share, we are left with just us, raw and unsure, busy and baffled, appreciative and awkward. It’s okay, though, as many of you have heard me say (or read in my writings) in the past, very few (if any) people we know are overwhelmed, and simply too full of love and appreciation each day.

If you think you are unsure of what to say or how to say it, kindly:

~ Start with sincerity and a smile
~ Continue with telling, writing or selecting a card that denotes your feelings
~ Make the message or comment about him or her, and not you
~ Let the person know what you love or appreciate about him/her or his/her efforts
~ Move on so the situation is not odd for that person

An example of this is (see the smile and hear the sincerity, please) “Andy, your approach with the client was nothing less than spot-on. I appreciate the way you get to know each person with whom you interact. Thank you for making a difference for the company in your relationship-building! What else is on your agenda for us to cover?”. This example allows Andy to say his thank you and keep going, or if Andy is really comfortable receiving praise, he can make some other comments as well. Either way, it is a success for Andy.

As for you, you won’t fail or even flail. You’ll likely be a huge hit. You may receive an “oh, you don’t have to say that”, or a “really???”. Let it be. I’d hope for etiquette’s sake you’ll get a “thank you”, but we give sincere recognition comments selflessly in anticipation of nothing in return (the same for gifts). After all, the appreciation and love you share is meant to be expressed and stated… how else will you keep the St. Valentine spirit alive all year long?

A Positive Mantra for Positive Results

2011-02-22T07:12:00.000-05:00

"Success is the progressive realization of worthwhile, predetermined, personal goals."

~ Paul J. Meyer

Whether this is the time of year you have really embraced a resolution and created a habit, or if this is that season of reflection of asking what was it I thought I was going to change for 2011, there are a few quick inner messages you can set, readjust or introduce to make a bit of your own personal mantra for moving forward with confidence, focus and boundaries.

Take a couple of minutes to complete the following statements with positive, realistic, and attainable actions or characteristics:

I WANT (TO) ____________
I WILL ___________
I AM ____________
I AM IN THE PROCESS OF _______________
I DO _____________

For example, mine currently reads:
I WANT ONLY POSITIVE ENERGY AROUND ME
I WILL FINISH MY BOOK BY MONTH-END
I AM INSIGHTFUL AND CARING PERSONALLY AND PROFESSIONALLY
I AM IN THE PROCESS OF ENHANCING MY STREAMLINING AND ORGANIZATION SKILLS
I DO MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN THE LIVES AND BUSINESSES OF EACH OF MY CLIENTS

Yours may be similar or completely different, but if it is about you, for you, and you write it, print/post it, or both, and embrace the comments fully to the point of belief and commitment, they will actually "be" once you believe it, and layer it with your follow-through actions.

Remember, being reflective and forward focused, with a realistic, thriving edge to your vision, will have you engaged in the next habit for all the well-serving reasons...and the results!

Falling In Love with All You Do

2011-02-14T15:54:00.000-05:00

"Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful." ~ Albert Schweitzer

Regardless of what you have planned for today, this week, or this month, love is in the air...if you let it be!

Love may not seem like much of a business approach or attribute, but if you love what you do, you are more likely to like (or even love) those around you, like (or even love) your clients, and like (or even love) the moments you spend working (and there are a lot of them) !

If you do not currently love what you do, you have options...find something else - your passion, or rediscover what you fell in like/love with in the company, the industry or the field, or just do nothing. The last option is most popular, but by far, not the most effective.

As many of you have heard me say repeatedly, you are far more than what you do for a living! Still, if you love or find things you love about what you are doing for your work/career/business, you will likely invite other positive, loving energy...both personally and professionally!

With heartfelt appreciation, keep the love alive, and make the most of your Valentine's Day...

Your Idea SPACE Approach

2011-02-08T06:28:00.001-05:00

“An idea that is developed and put into action is more important than an idea that exists only as an idea.” ~ Buddha

You live in a world of ideas.

How are you at Sharing, Persuading, Asking, Collaborating and Executing such ideas?

Consider the Idea SPACE approach of:

•Share what the issue is or need at hand as well as what a win/success would be.
•Persuade others to interest with stories and examples.
•Ask if you missed anything to get clarification and on the same page.
•Collaborate together on a firm, sound work-able solution.
•Execute what was decided with tracking and accountability.

As an Entrepreneur, new leader, or established pro, if you make idea SPACE part of your process, effective communication and action will be part of your lasting impression, sales, recognition and results!

Knowing…or “No”ing

2011-02-03T06:43:00.001-05:00

“Wisdom is knowing what to do next, skill is knowing how to do it, and virtue is doing it.”
~ David Starr Jordan, American ichthyologist, educator, writer

No self, no want, no plan; no progressive results…

Know self, know want, know plan; know progressive results!

Before we can get to the result, and there always is a result, whether it is intentional or not, we have the option to blindly, or even optimistically stumble with the approach of “no”ing to an end, OR we can make time for knowledge and the application of knowledge in order to mindfully and directly impact the result(s).

Ourselves, and people on our teams, as well as those in our partnerships/alignments, are either 1) those who know, or 2) those who choose not to know. (Knowing is loosely interpreted here as being aware, acknowledging, and accepting.)

So, before you or your team move forward on a project, proposal or plan, please ensure you know yourself; that is the person or people involved, you know your want; that is what your desire looks like, know your plan; or how you will be able to realistically get there, and know your progressive result; that is both the forward motion and tangible outcomes.

Without knowing, we are simply “no”ing. We’re just ill-informed, or worse yet, oblivious, and with knowledge, and the applied efforts that such knowledge brings, we can, and are far more likely to have that success, that win that will feed positively into knowing ourselves even more, growing our wants, sticking to plans and continuing to impact results. The circle of knowing is one of very little “no”!

Know Perspective; Know Ownership; Know Freedom!

2011-01-19T14:06:00.002-05:00

"There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them." ~ Denis Waitley, speaker and author

Success in life and in business is both a "no excuses", and a "no blame" mentality. People who know perspective and know ownership also know the freedom from looking back and the freedom to look forward.

Think back to the last time you made an excuse for something or someone, or blamed another person for a situation you were in. I hope that was long ago, and regardless of when it was, what was the ultimate outcome...what did you think...how did you feel? There are not likely a lot of positive feelings, emotions, thoughts or outcomes that come to mind, are there?

Now, remember a time when you made time for assessing your view and perspective, and/or took ownership of a situation you were in. I hope that was recent, and whenever it was, what was the ultimate outcome...what did you think...how did you feel? There are likely a lot of positive feelings, emotions, thoughts or outcomes that come to mind, aren't there?

You were the same person, with the same experience and opportunity in both of those reflections (for the most part), and yet, what was different? Your choices were different. When you chose to make excuses and blame, you were not able to gain perspective or ownership...you were a bit "stuck" in the scenario and time passing to put it in the past. Yet, when you chose to not make excuses and not blame, you were able to gain perspective and ownership...you could move forward, and decide what to learn, when to learn and how to learn...and move onto the future. So, it's up to you, excuses and blame, or perspective and ownership? So for life and business success, let yourself make a choice...choose mindfully, choose consistently, and choose freedom!

New Outlook From a Conversational Inquiry

2011-01-12T06:50:00.000-05:00

"Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better answers."
~ Tony Robbins

With the temptation of resolutions or "new starts" to the year still among us, if you want to do something different in one of your first one-on-one meetings with team members or clients, or even your whole team or company, consider asking:

What are you most proud of from last year?
What do you want to retain this year?
What do you want to tweak this year?
What do you want to look back in 2012 and know happened in 2011...what would you like your future perspective to be?

Those few questions will spark directional, intentional conversation, and will give you insight regarding the direction people want to go, and what drives them as well. These are a wonderful way to see if you are "on the same page" or not with partners as well. Heck, your answers might even surprise yourself...

Happy New Year!

Resist Judgment, Embrace Choices

2011-01-06T13:42:00.000-05:00

“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” ~ Carl Gustav Jung

Have you ever had someone ask “what were you thinking?” or “why are you doing that?”? I believe most of us have, and while it is not enjoyable, it is often part of our experiences as people; as leaders; as targets for some to “attack” in the midst of our driving results.

Those questions/propositions do not usually feel good, or get us to simply and calmly respond, sometimes, instead, we react.

So, when the tables are turned, and you question what people are thinking, doing or promoting, I encourage you to look at what has been done as a choice or series of choices rather than judging the actions or outcomes. It’s not easy, but it is a simple approach…let others make their choices and either reap the rewards or consequences, and you do the same. Let the judgment stay internal until it dissolves, and externally voice something like “I appreciate your choice”, or “While I appreciate the choice, and may have chosen differently for myself, I will respect your decision”. The “you should have” or “how could you?” comments do not promote conversation, rather defense.

Nobody will make the same choices we would for us, and yet for them, they make the choices that they believe will serve them best. Someone else would be a second-rate you, just as you’d be a second-rate him/her. Let the judgment go, and watch how your choices yield respect from others and appreciation and consideration from yourself!

A Year Without Resolutions

2010-12-29T07:28:00.000-05:00

PLEASE ENJOY THIS EXCERPT FROM MY 2007 BOOK, "Have a Nice Day" is Not "Thank You", and "No Problem" is Not "You're Welcome"!

“The greatest works are done by the ones. The hundreds do not often do much, the companies never; it is the units, the single individuals, that are the power and the might.” ~ Philemon Charles H. Spurgeon

Every year some time shortly after the clock strikes midnight on January 1st, many people flock to gyms, throw away their cigarettes, start writing a book, change their diet, etc....all in the name of New Year's Resolutions! January is a full month for activities such as those, and, along about February or March, these resolutions to increase, improve, decrease or lose, have, for the most part, dissipated, leaving people feeling they are failures, slackers, or minimally, unresolved...

Rather than set New Year's resolutions, please consider the practice of planned accomplishments throughout the year. Planned accomplishments are goals set with intended results, and are done for a selfish reason of bettering oneself...and often benefit not only you, but others alike.

A proficient (productive and efficient combined) way to plan accomplishments is to think of your three key strengths and write them down, followed by the recording of the three areas of opportunity you observe most in yourself. Then, if you are brave and really determined to improve, poll 6-10 people (on the same two topics) who are important in your life and look for consensus. When you have the top three in each area, personally rank them in order of importance. From there, you have six areas for planned accomplishment (Yes, it is healthy to plan accomplishments for strength areas as well...it's like giving those attributes further enhancement or shine). Determine a workable approach that is measurable for each planned accomplishment, and record them for you before sharing them with minimally three people (ideally, you'd share them with the same 6-10 whom were polled). To ensure you have clear planned accomplishments, when determining them, give yourself a way to recognize your progress. In other words, spending more time with my family is a typical "resolution", where a planned accomplishment is spending at least 1 hour a day with my family in discussion/conversation without the TV or other distractions. Qualifiers such as more, better, stronger, faster, slower, less, provide built-in excuses and/or success. Imagine if someone currently spends 5 minutes a day with his/her family and they "resolve" to spend more time...s/he is magically (read as easily) successful, when 10 minutes is spent...or even 6? Push yourself to know what it is you want to accomplish...and measure up! Similarly, resolving to "lose weight" or get in "better shape" will yield a higher form of accomplishment and purpose when re-focused and rephrased to a specific amount, fitness level, body fat %, or even better, medical health levels, as such planned accomplishments will reflect in one's confidence and in the way others recognize that person's ability to stick with things. Simply stated, set a clear path and follow through. Because of the way your subconscious works, "lost weight" gets found, "better shape" is relative, etc., therefore, I encourage you to look to rid, discard, remove whatever it is you do not want (weight, cholesterol levels, coffee, caffeine, cigarettes, unhealthy relationships, etc.) from your life, so that you are not working against yourself internally without even realizing it, based on your self-talk.

The old adage of plan the work and work the plan, rings true with this process, and the implementation of the methodology will likely keep your focus, commitment and interest level because it is done out of desire and want, rather than in reaction to the tradition of the Babylonians, who were known to have celebrated the new year approximately 4,000 years ago. Picture yourself along about February or March, progressing in/on your planned accomplishments, and, for the most part, none having dissipated, positioning you as a success, a do-er, and quite realistically, already accomplished!

High, Low, Pride Review

2010-12-17T05:41:00.000-05:00

“Democracy is the art of thinking independently together.”
~ Alexander Meiklejohn

At the end of a presentation, work day, work week, or project, a good way to kick off a review of the "happenings" is to ask three things:

What was the high from this experience/day/week/project?

What was the low from this experience/day/week/project?

What are you most proud of as it relates to this experience/day/week/project?

The first question starts on a positive note, the second allows you to solution things for next time, and you end with the third question to bring it all into perspective and close strongly as well.

Implement an agenda of just these three things, and watch where the "review" goes...it's democratic, since you each/all can participate, and it's diplomatic in the approach!

Side note - this works great with kids, spouses, and any personal relationships, too!

BTS to Responding over Reacting

2010-12-08T07:48:00.001-05:00

“I think it was a good challenge for me to get my reactions across without being able to speak.” ~ Verne Troyer

Sometimes questions, issues, inquiries come in spurts or trends, and perhaps it is because we are at the year-end, entering into more family time than usual, or just because, but I have been asked many times over the past weeks about how to handle something shocking, offensive or just plain inappropriate.

An option for all things in life is to do nothing. Yes, you can walk away…

Still, most of us want to speak, to share and even put things to rest, so here’s an approach that works for most: I call it the BTS way…

The BTS way means as soon as you are shocked, taken aback, or just frustrated by a comment or statement, you:

B – Breathe (this buys you time and actually calms your body – think “take a breath-deeply”)
T – Tilt your head (shifting your head seems less attacking to the other person and softens your view/direction)
S – Smile (Put a smile on your face so your words are said with a smile and sincerity…even on the phone, the smile comes through)

At a family dinner where politics comes up, in a meeting where working on a holiday is mentioned, instead of reacting and attacking, think responding and bonding with the BTS way!

Sharing Your Opposing Opinion Professionally

2010-12-02T07:23:00.000-05:00

“Professionalism is knowing how to do it, when to do it, and doing it.” ~ Frank Tyger

A well written opposing opinion message allows for clarity and understanding (not to be confused with agreement). As long as you have an intent that is focused and clear while anticipating your audience, you will likely have success. Still, in order to be as well prepared as possible, the following steps to effectively opposing an opinion, will assist you in achieving just that!

1. Decide what you want to inspire: thoughts, exchange, debate, etc.
2. Imagine various perspectives, regardless of your position.
3. Assess whether you have exposure, experience or expertise in the subject area and know that your audience will know that as well.
4. Use a considerate approach, including:
a. Background on topic (what you have heard/read) for acknowledgment
b. Share one or two stories with facts and evidence that are compelling/interesting
c. State your opinion

If you are writing to someone, use the following additional tips:
1. Create an outline and draft including an introduction (Background), body (Story) and conclusion (Opinion).
2. Use proper vocabulary, punctuation, spelling and tense without acronyms (unless used only after the full description), slang or colloquial references.

For both verbally and in writing embrace the following:
1. Be passionate about the topic without being emotional about potential conflicts.
2. Look forward to the replies/ideas that you may or may not have considered.

Best wishes on those "used-to-get-heated" topics by using a professional, time-tested approach!

Giving Thanks Verbally!

2010-11-23T07:11:00.003-05:00

At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us. ~ Albert Schweitzer

It's not that we are not grateful, it's not that we are unappreciative...sometimes it is just challenging to express our gratitude and appreciation. Not this year at Thanksgiving!

You may have seen in my newsletter an example of a way to share verbal appreciation by using the following approach:

(Name), you are very _________ (strength), and that is appreciated because it makes a difference in _________. Thank you!

And, here are some others:

"Thank you, _________(name) for your efforts with ___________________ (task)! You really showed your _________________ (strength), and I appreciate you for that!

OR

Thank you, _________(name) for being so _________________ (strength)! I appreciate it because you _______________________ (difference the person makes)!

Additionally, a toast to one or many people really makes an impression and can show gratitude. An example is:

Thanksgiving is a time for food, people and holiday cheer, so here's to the wonderful dishes we all have prepared, the friends and family who chose to join us, and all the fun conversations and memories we are about to share! I thank you for being here! (Raising glass) Happy Thanksgiving!

Whatever way you show your appreciation, a smile and sincerity are your best assets, and real gratitude cannot be delivered incorrectly, so go ahead, give, give, give!!!

Happy Thanksgiving!

APT to Accomplish

2010-11-19T05:23:00.003-05:00

"Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do."

~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe,
German Playwright, Poet, Novelist and Dramatist. 1749-1832

There are likely a lot of things on your "to-do" list right now...perhaps there seem to consistently be many items listed...

If you want to move from a list to being APT to accomplish what lies ahead, consider these three steps:

A - Assess your items. Review your list or write the list. You are moving things from your mind to a physical place - on paper.

P - Prioritize. Everything is not a top priority, and so some things are "nice to do" activities. Perhaps a 1, 2, 3 or a, b, c categorization will assist you and your team/colleagues in focusing energies.

T - Take action. Without action (and not just the action of thinking about it!!), something is merely a thought or plan, and not something to complete or measure.

Keep in mind that your APTitude is derived in this case from your attitude and your follow-through, so assess, prioritize and take action in order to shift from "to-do" to "already done" this season...and into next year!

3 R's

2010-11-12T06:42:00.001-05:00

"People only see what they are prepared to see." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

When many of us were growing up, it was the 3 R's that were stressed for success. With Reading , wRiting and aRithmetic as the focus in families, schools and learning, we knew where we stood with grades and feedback (even if we questioned our parents' and teachers' logic with attempting to get us to believe those words were truly R's!).

In business and life outside school, grades and feedback are in different formats. For post-school, I encourage you to consider a new approach to the 3 R's...Risk, Reward and Repercussion. With nearly every situation, every opportunity, every challenge, there is Risk, Reward and Repercussion. How so? If we assess Risk, we know how much we are willing to do or give up to get somewhere. Assessing Risk is what leads to the Reward and Repercussion portions of our decision-making. Rarely is something a neutral outcome. Sure, we can do nothing, but even doing nothing yields changes likely in the long run. So, along with assessing Risk, please review what will be the Reward if the Risk pays off, and also, what will the Repercussions be. It's more fun and engaging to think solely of the outcomes in a positive light, and yet if we are not ready for the possibilities, we too could end up as a statistic of the ill-prepared.

Whether it is something as seemingly small as eating at a new place (Risk=not sure about the food/reputation, Reward=may find a great place at a good price, Repercussion=might not be high quality and may overpay or get sick), or something as big as an expansion (Risk=not known in the area, Reward=grow business, profitability and reach, Repercussion=may be in debt and negatively impact current operations), if you consider the 3 R's before moving forward, you will be in a solid decision-making mindset to expect the best while being prepared for the worst. And after all, isn't that the reason we were supposed to focus on Reading , wRiting and aRithmetic as kids...so we'd be in the best position for our future?

4 Words

2010-11-05T06:51:00.004-04:00

"When words are scarce they are seldom spent in vain." ~ William Shakespeare

There are a lot of words spoken, and sadly, not as much actually said. We celebrate first, second and third places in many events, but not fourth. Often there are times we feel as though we "don't know what to say". Our parents may have raised us to be seen and not heard.

Having shared those 4 thoughts, it may seem strange to encourage you to offer 4 words to someone for whom you want to instill confidence. Sure, sure, those "three little words" are welcomed, too, and are not being discouraged. It's just this approach to uplifting another is a for a varied purpose.

Imagine the difference you might make if instead of silence when you felt awkward or unsure, or asking "what can I do?", you looked the person in the eye and uttered (sincerely, of course) "I believe in you", or "I'm here for you", or "I'm on your side", or "I've got your back", or "I care about you".

What would be different? For the receiver of your message, you might be the only person who shared such a sentiment that day, week, month, etc. Also, your belief, presence, support and care could be what pushes the person to go ahead an act on what she or he is "thinking about doing". For you as the sender of the message, it would be different for you to loan a little of yourself without it costing you anything. You'd get to be a part of consoling, uplifting, encouraging or praising another person...and that's worth being said, being celebrated, being shared, and being heard!

5 Phases to Our Measured Time/Interest

2010-10-27T11:55:00.000-04:00

Every philosophy is the philosophy of some stage of life."

~ Friedrich Nietzsche, German classical Scholar, Philosopher and Critic of culture, 1844-1900

5 Phases to Our Measured Time/Interest

In our lives, there are many stages, learnings and approaches we will take. From a perspective of stages in your learning and living, please consider the following 5 phases, and where you are now...and where you want to be:

Phase 1 - Alive

We don't have a whole lot to do with this one...it's more on our parents to get us here, nonetheless, each of us who is able to read this message is, in fact, alive.

Phase 2 - Survive

A combination of our parents, care-givers and ourselves eventually, we learn what it takes to get by...to survive. This is not much of a desired state, but one where a lot of Americans reside for most or all of their lives.

Phase 3 - Drive

This is where we begin to differentiate what motivates us. It is in this phase where we consciously or unconsciously start to desire things and work toward them. Oddly, some people go through life with little to no drive, and yet those who have it, share it, and act on it are among the "success stories" we love to hear.

Phase 4 - Arrive

In the arrive phase, we are not comfortable, rather pleased with where we are in life. We have accomplished goals, not lost our drive, feel alive, surpass on the survive portion of living, and are in a position to appreciate and reflect on what we are doing and what got us to that phase.

Phase 5 - Thrive

When we move into thrive, we have hit all the others and are moving onto teaching, sharing and giving back to others through our words, actions, investments and interests. In thrive, we are very aware of being alive, all that drives and have not lost sight of the survive and arrive components. We are fully engaged, with little fear, much motivation, and a true yearning to contribute and continue to learn.

While I share these in order, you may find you are in one phase for a portion of your life, say your career, and perhaps another with your finances or career, and that is quite common. Your challenge, your opportunity, should you care to embrace it, is to set your sights on Thrive in all areas and continue to celebrate the wins and successes on your way, and eventually be excited, humble, grateful and reciprocal to others for being there fully!

With appreciation, make the most of each day, and of each phase!

Recognition - Encourage, Praise, Reward

2010-10-19T11:15:00.000-04:00

"Don't worry when you are not recognized, but strive to be worthy of recognition."
~Abraham Lincoln

A lot of people seek recognition, and a lot of us don't readily "give" recognition. Here is a three step approach to recognition for your consideration in leading yourself and others:

1) Encourage the sharing of ideas and flow of thought openly

2) Praise those who demonstrate the application of learning and taking action on ideas/thoughts

3) Reward based on results

When you are clear and consistent with these three things, your recognition approach is something others will realize, respect, and anticipate.

10 Times the Leadership!

2010-10-14T06:46:00.000-04:00

"Not the cry, but the flight of the wild duck, leads the flock to fly and follow."
~Chinese Saying~

While there are many lists and ideas about leadership, after speaking with a wonderful and talented client about leading during a one-on-one coaching session, I left and really reflected on what we covered, and consolidated the ideas I shared into my ten (perhaps top 10, and definitely current 10) strengths of an effective leader. The list includes (minimally) the ability to:

Envision - Seeing things for what they are and where they can go.

Observe - Looking at things with little bias and an open mind.

Inquire - Asking of others for input, observations, really listen and hear what is being said for feedback without repercussions to the person.

Care - Wanting to know about the people, the teams, the clients/customer and opportunities earned...and missed.

Cheer - Letting someone know he or she can do it. At times, just taking off the title and being a supportive person.

Coach - Being willing and able to meet people where they are and assist them in getting successfully where they are willing and able to go.

Show & Tell - Demonstrating and informing the team of what is behind, in front of and on the horizon for the company/group, and being willing to lead the way in words and actions. These are forms of effective communication.

Reflect - Making time and take time to consider competition, client desires, team interests and what to make of them and how the wins can be developed, and not just expected or taken.

Grow - Knowing others often have the answers and humility and pride can work hand-in-glove when learning and what serves well is top of mind. Being able to own decisions and seize opportunities for self and others.

Share - Being selfish enough to want the best and selfless enough to let others be a part of it. Knowing there is not just one leader, regardless of titles, and that results, victories and overall success in an effort of more than one. Sharing the opportunities and sharing of yourself by giving back in ways that work for you!

How are you, and your fellow leaders doing on these 10 traits? It's okay, be proud of what you are doing, and hone in on those areas where you'd like to see improvement...after all, you are a life-long learner if you are a true leader of self and others!

Mindedness...Open or Closed?

2010-10-08T07:09:00.003-04:00

"A great many people think they are thinking when they are just rearranging their prejudices." ~ William James

There is a funny expression shown on bumper stickers and t-shirts that reads "A mind is like a parachute...it only functions when open", and having been an active skydiver in years past, I was drawn to it for the sport. Once again, in this 4th quarter, with people feeling budget crunches, year-end sales deadlines, and the elections coming, I am reminded of it internally, and now sharing here with you externally for the application of the thought versus the funny of the expression. After all, it's funny because it's true.

Remember, under pressure, we do not do what is right, rather, we do what we know. What do you know to do? Have you learned to be open-minded or closed minded?
A good assessment of how open-minded you are is to reflect on how many times you have said something like "good point, I hadn't considered that" versus the frequency of your saying "you just don't understand". It's the former that keeps us open, and the latter...not so much...

So, remind yourself to say something like "that's interesting, I'll consider it", or other expressions like the one above, and then do it...that is, if you are leaning toward wanting your parachute, or rather you mind, open!!

Cinderella Story: A Name Tag Recovered!

2010-09-29T11:30:00.002-04:00

"From our ancestors come our names, but from our virtues our honors." ~Proverb

Cinderella Story: A Name Tag Recovered!

Last week, I was at a large event in the area where people were dressed in cocktail to formal attire, and while I thought there would not be name tags expected, there were, and it was good that there were, as name tags allow us to quickly "remember" those we met long ago or so briefly that age, interest or our memories are hindering us from recalling them.

Still, while the name tags are great, the sticky ones with either typed (or worse yet, hand-written) names, leave much to be desired when they fall off, end up on the back of someone's dress or suit jacket, or simply disappear...

I was tapped on the shoulder by a smiling man who informed me that his name tag fell off and apparently I stepped on it, for my four-inch heel (we were in pretty formal attire) was stuck right there in the middle of his name tag. I smiled and asked what it was worth to him to allow the situation to be funny rather than just plain awkward. We laughed, go to know each other a bit, made some silly comments about name tags and moved on. I did not mind that incident, but I feel for anyone who feels s/he must get the tag off the floor to wear it per the rules and professionalism of networking.

Oh, I agree, wear a name tag! Yes indeed, just get a name tag with your name and your company on it. This is a small investment once your logo is in the system. Get two for each person within your company, and three for those who network a lot. These are remembered (if you remember to wear them - you may want to keep one in your desk, and one in your car with the 3rd in your planner if you are a consistent networker). Put the magnetic tag on your right side (so people shaking your hand will look up and associate your name and company with your face) in between your collar bone and breast bone, and know you will be well represented, will assist others in "knowing" your name, and it won't ever be you with the Cinderella syndrome over a lost adhesive name tag!

The AGILE Leader

2010-09-22T06:37:00.000-04:00

"There are many victories worse than a defeat." ~ George Eliot

In order for leaders to embrace change, inspire followers (who are often other leaders in their own right), and get to the end result successfully, agility is key!

Agility in a leader is not simply the flexibility to change, rather the ability to demonstrate awareness and action while not losing sight of the people, the goals and the community/company.

How agile are you? A quick assessment is below...are you:
A - Available
G - Giving
I - Interested
L - Learning
E - Effective

If you are a yes on all of these, you are likely demonstrating agility. If you reflect and find you are not available, giving, interested, learning and effective, then make some changes and get agile to improve and enhance your leadership!

Mind the Gap!

2010-09-22T06:06:00.000-04:00

"Perhaps the best definition of progress would be the continuing efforts of men and women to narrow the gap between the convenience of the powers that be and the unwritten charter."
~ Nadine Gordimer, South-African Writer,
& Nobel Peace Prize Winner

"Mind the Gap" seems so much more civilized than "caution", "danger", or "step back"! And yet, I have only really seen it used in Europe for politely warning people of what is, in fact, a gap in the area for footing. I like it. Naturally, my mind wandered to what else we could mind...what were our American gaps?

In addition to the gaps in politics, religion and road construction, other gaps quickly entered my mind. Sticking with leadership of ourselves and others, it seems appropriate to be aware enough to mind the following gaps in order to ensure we are using our resources (time, energy, money, etc.) to the best of our abilities in order to yield positive, productive results:

* Complaining vs. Solutioning (the gap leaves positivity out and sadly welcomes negativity)
* Judging vs. Appreciating (the gap ignores differences and our strengths that combine)
* Advising vs. Friending (sometimes someone just wants an ear for listening and not a mouth full of advice)
* Snobbery vs. Exclusivity (It is not good to exclude for ill-intended reasons, yet it is smart to build and grow a niche/target)
* Demanding vs. Commanding (demanding gets compliance while commanding yields commitment)
* Expecting vs. Leading (communication, effective communication that is, is definitely not overrated)
* Telling vs. Selling (there is nothing wrong with passionately pitching an idea and getting buy-in)
* Needing vs. Wanting (need is burdensome, where want is anticipatory and focused on the results and potential outcomes)
* Hearing vs. Listening (hearing is a physical act where listening is physiological)
* Taken/Given vs. Earned (the act of realizing efforts in the form of money or accolades will likely never compare to that which is simply bestowed)
* False Politeness vs. Sincerity (people can see through the first, and long to see the second)
* Positioning vs. Interest (I said it wasn't political, but this one can cause office politics to get out of hand)
* Intent vs. Result (while intent is a consideration, results are lasting and likely tangible)

Stick with the second half, the right side, of this list, and ensure you are one who will "mind the gap" by being intentional, direct and communicative as a leader of thoughts and actions!

4 Questions

2010-09-10T06:48:00.004-04:00

"Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning."

~ Albert Einstein

4 Questions

While I often share the idea of three - seven questions to ask in certain situations, yesterday, with three different colleagues/clients, the topic of ineffective work performance was broached. When I am asked what to do/say, my mind thinks what not to do/say, as often as leaders, we tell people what we want, when we want it, and think that is interactive somehow.

Instead, an effective and revealing approach is to ask four questions of the under-performer:

1. What is going well?

2. What would you like to improve?

You have seen these first two questions many times before, and they are timeless and true, so, here are the new ones:

3. What is getting/standing in the way of you getting where you want to be/do/have?

4. As your leader, what can I do to assist you, break down any barriers, guide you, etc.?

Leave it up to them to share and communicate after you facilitate open communication. For as a leader, your role is to meet your team members where they are, and lead them where they are willing and able to go. Those four questions will uncover (or reinforce) the willing and likely the able, parts for you!

Stepping Through Change

2010-08-29T08:24:00.002-04:00

"Change can either challenge or threaten us...Your beliefs pave your way to success or block you."
~ Marsha Sinetar

Stepping Through Change

Considering I am participating in a Change Management webinar in September, I think it is fitting to preview some of the ideas here…

Whether it is a large or small, impactful or seemingly slight alteration of plans or routine, we process these actions (or lack of them) as change. Change is not to be taken lightly, for while change is not regularly the issue, how it is presented is what we take to task, change itself has merit for discussion.

Any change is a loss of sorts, and so be it quick or slow, the process is similar to that for true grieving of a significant loss including the steps:
1. Denial. (No, that’s not true – it really isn’t happening, right?!?)
2. Anger. (I cannot believe “they” are doing this – someone should have asked me!)
3. Negotiating Often called Barganing. (Would if we put it off – couldn’t we compromise? This seems drastic!)
4. Doubt/Disappointment. Often called Depression. (This probably won’t work. It might, but it is going to be tougher the way it was handled!)
5. Acceptance. (It is not changing, and I am moving forward. Okay, even if I don’t like it, I am not going to fight it.)

Keep these things in mind and resist “springing” change on your partners and/or team members. Bringing up something as a discussion/consideration allows people to process through these steps in a healthy fashion rather than being put in a position where they seem like they have reached Acceptance, but they are back in Anger. Imagine the difference in allowing for processing with questions and interface over the get over it approach that we may sometime unwittingly use without the intent of a rush, but still the impact. Let’s go for appreciating each of us, some tremendously fast, go through this process with change, and allow the change to take hold instead of being overlaid at the risk of the repercussions!

Assert Yourself

2010-08-25T06:41:00.002-04:00

" The basic difference between being assertive and being aggressive is how our words and behavior affect the rights and well being of others." ~ Sharon Anthony

Assert Yourself!

Can you be assertive without being considered wimpy or aggressive?
Of course…but how?

The difference between being assertive (standing up for yourself and/or others to get things accomplished professionally) and being overly aggressive is simply the difference of not badgering or insisting to the point of being rude. You can be assertive and consider others and/or the lasting impact of your actions without being antagonistic or labeled aggressive.

The difference between being assertive and being wimpy is often the difference in being direct and not being direct. Often people who do not stick with a thought or direction are perceived as wimpy.

Words, body language, positioning and tone all play a part in whether or not you are perceived as wimpy, assertive or aggressive. You can share ideas and be passionate while considering and hearing other without being seen as too wimpy (weak) or aggressive (forceful).

Let’s say you are in a restaurant or club ordering a meal, which is aggressive, and what is not?

A. I’ll have the blackened salmon with asparagus and a side salad with vinaigrette dressing, please.
B. I’ll take the salmon…how do you recommend it be cooked? Is the asparagus any good? Do you think a side salad will be too much with that? Will the vinaigrette be too tangy?
C. I'm having the salmon – make sure it’s blackened, and don't overcook it. And I'll have firm asparagus on the side, with a side salad with dressing on the side, if you can remember that.
D. Would you mind bringing me some salmon, please if it’s not too much trouble. Thank you and asparagus or something else with it will be fine.

A= Assertive, right?
B=Boy, oh boy, could you possibly remember the waiter/waitress does not know you, your likes, and dislikes, your capacity for food, etc.?
C=Caustic. Enough said, yet many handle things this way.
D=Dump all over me whenever you like…

You don’t have to go from wimpy to aggressive or vice versa. It's like when there is a hole in your driveway, and each time you drive through it, your car bottoms out a bit (the driveway integrity is wimpy), filling it with too much cement doesn’t solve the problem, it only changes it…it will still be a bumpy jolt on you and the car now, just in the opposite direction (like aggression). The true fix to the drive is an approach, a plan, a solution (assertive).

Sure steps to being assertive over wimpy or aggressive:
Think first, feel second.
Let things go.
Be inclusive. Solicit input in a way that is about “ask and incorporate”, vs. “ask and defend”.
Stay the course when decision is made.
Stop apologizing more than once.
Leave ego at the door.
Expect collaboration. Be prepared for competition.
Be consistent.
Share in the efforts and share in the wins.

A New Basic: AAA Social Media

2010-08-18T12:58:00.002-04:00

"Don’t say anything online that you wouldn’t want plastered on a billboard with your face on it." – Erin Bury, Sprouter Community Manager

AAA Social Media for B2B & B2C

For “Triple A” engagement and outcomes for your social media efforts in the realm of Business-to-Business(B2B) and Business to Consumer (B2C), consider the following A’s:

ASSIST – Think in terms of assisting your followers, readers, subscribers, and onlookers. How are you a resource to offer ideas, people and other resources. This is not the realm to sell, sell, sell! This is the area to offer, show, share and connect. The business will follow where appropriate. Be seen as the expert who offers freely without expectation, and when the time is right, others will engage in your services and/or products.

ACT – Interface with others on the sites and media you use (LinkedIn, Facebook, Names, Blogs, Twitter, Plaxo, etc.). Take action by posting, commenting and sharing where appropriate. Resist being a know-it-all, rather share questions or thoughts like “have you considered XYZ?” so that you are acting in their interest by sharing your information/ideas.

APPRECIATE – Show thanks to those who assist you, act on your posts and/or offer criticism or other ideas for your approach and/or your business. Even a bad review is welcomed, as it gives you free feedback that you can address and might not have known before. No matter what is posted, thank the person for the idea, taking the time, etc. Appreciation shows you care and does not present you in a defensive way.

If you are unsure about Social Media, jump in, have fun, and remember, it is one aspect of your business approach and marketing, so commit to it, do it on minimally twice a week, be consistent in your approach, and enjoy the opportunities...and the learning!

Basic #2: The Thank You Note

2010-08-10T13:28:00.001-04:00

Silent gratitude isn't much use to anyone.

~G.B. Stern

The Power of Written Appreciation

Fast paced days filled with meeting, appointment, activities and people can become a blur…and yet without the human interaction, kindness, collaboration and interactions, we would be alone…and likely far less productive!

Basic #2: The Thank You Note

It is not a lost art, it is not a lost art, it is not a lost art! At least that is what I keep telling myself as it relates to thank you notes. These personal, hand-written scribbles of appreciation not only make the recipient’s day, but it will make the sender take a look back on a full day and share gratitude in a way that few people do nowadays.

Whether it is for making time for you, going out of their way, or doing something else that you recognized as something of value, it is worthwhile to make time for that person, shift your focus off yourself and your tasks/stress, and allow someone else’ life and efforts come into view. It’s one thing to see/observe something, and it is another to act on it.

Time to take action with a simple concept – the thank you card/note. Whether you use custom notes or generic cards, the sentiment is what is most important. Date your card, people often keep these seemingly rare finds, and address the card with the person’s name followed by something about them (not you with “I” to start the note). Let the person know what s/he did, said or didn’t do or say that you appreciated. Tell that person it did not go unnoticed and close with something to reinforce your relationship. Send it within 24 hours ideally, and within the week of something happening (on the outset).

It is a 90-second process that costs less than $1, and yet the payoff for your sense of human kindness, and possibly even your business, will likely be priceless.

Thank you for being a client and/or follower!

Basic #1: The Suggestion Box

2010-07-27T18:14:00.002-04:00

"Putting pen to paper lights more fire than matches ever will."
-Malcolm Forbes

The Suggestion Box

We’ve advanced. We’ve gotten high tech. We are sophisticated, integrated, and sometimes over-stimulated in the workplace.

This is a time to take a look at the basics, and ensure some subtleties and sound ideas are not being overlooked. The concept of “the right people send the right message to the right customers for the right partnerships and the right wins for both” has a lot of aspects to it, and in the next few weeks, it’s an opportunity to take a look back, a look around and a look to the future…full of basics!

Basic #1: The Suggestion Box
It’s terrific to have a process that has a lot of input and review, formatting and forming opinion within the team, group or full company. Still, the simple idea of a suggestion box is where a lot of lasting ideas originated…and it took a form, a signature, an idea, and feedback…

Suggestion boxes are fast to implement since they take little planning, and/or space/time. Suggestion boxes allow most all involved in your business/practice to make their contributions and share thoughts that they might not be comfortable/confident to share in a group. Boxes can be placed in production facilities and in retail stores, and in any office area, providing a low-cost, high-touch means of collecting ideas!

Ensure you have a few, very few, guidelines in place, such as:
Everyone from team members to clients and vendors are included.
The simple form has less than 10 required responses with the name and signature of the submitter included, and is hand-written.
Reward cost-saving ideas with a percentage of savings for a set amount of time.
Reward leaders who encourage people to contribute.
Have the ideas published/posted.
Get a group involved for reviewing/assessing, and keep a firm timeline for responding.
Announce the program fully and stick with it.
Have contests for implementable winning ideas.
Others you deem appropriate.

You may keep the box for a long or short time. Put a test-drive date on the idea, and see where it goes. If this is not a basic that works well at your place of business, you’ll not have failed at suggestions; rather you will have learned that isn’t a process to use where you are. This will cost you almost nothing, and the ideas you get just might be priceless…

Practice First

2010-07-20T14:32:00.005-04:00

“Practice is the best of all instructors.”

~ Publilius Syrus, Roman author, 1st century B.C.

Practice First

While it may be exciting to get something new out in the field, to patients or to your customers, remember, the patients, customers and clients were once someone else’s...or could be someone else's at some point, so the practice needs to come sooner rather than later, and internally instead of externally.

To minimize issues, embrace the ideas of "practice on your person or your pals and not your patients, clients or customers". This means role-play, situational probing, experiential learning through sharing, and consideration of what may arise when in front of patients, clients or customers. Brainstorm, green-light think through the process, product or approach from many angles.

Sure, you will not be able to cover absolutely everything in your practice efforts, but out of respect for your patients, clients and customers, just remember to value them and practice prior to meeting with them in order to perform, deliver and provide the best service, product, message possible for/to them.

Once you finish your initial practicing, still seek input for future improvements and the next generation/update, and then it's back to the drawing board, or rather practice field, for you and your team in an effort to keep those clients, customers and patients from being someone else's again, for as the quotation reads, our practice really is the best of instructors!

5 Tips for Landing the Job! (As seen on Fox 35)

2010-07-12T06:54:00.004-04:00

“There has never been another you. With no effort on your part you were born to be something very special and set apart. What you are going to do in appreciation of that gift is a decision only you can make.” ~ Dan Zadra

5 Tips for Landing the Job!

When searching for a new career, position or role, remember, I.A.A.I. - in other words, It's Always An Interview...even if you have not applied for a position yet. Each person you meet, place you go and site you visit and make comments on is an impression. So, keeping that in mind, still be yourself, have fun, and focus on what matters! The following 5 tips will assist job-seekers in honing their skills:

1) Your resume, emails, bio, and an other communication are a reflection of you...be mindful of your approach, spelling, tone, etc....be professional and about results. Put yourself in a position to make the next move...no stalking...get permission to do so by stating clearly in emails and voice communication when you will follow-up (as opposed to the "feel free to contact me" line).

2) Phone interviews are interviews...dress as though you were in person, have the job posting and your resume in front of you, and conduct the interview in front of a mirror (not for vanity, rather for seeing your impression on the interviewer).

3) In-person interviews are about presence, style, skills and will. Ensure you show you are respectful, fit in, either know or can learn the skills and that you want the position...and have the job description, multiple copies of your resume, and no electronic devices distracting you.

4) Ask for feedback. While it is bold, it is memorable, and you will get it with the right question. Ask something at the end of a phone interview like "Based on this phone interview, is there any reason we would not progress to the next step in the interview and hiring process?", and following the formal part of the in-person interview share "Thank you for the interview. I am interested in earning the opportunity to land this position. At this point, is there any reason you would not hire me for the job?". The interviewers may be surprised, and you may be a bit nervous, but confidence is key, and readiness follows. You may not hear what you want to hear, but it is better to know, and then take the feedback in an effort to grow.

5) Show appreciation throughout...even if you do not get the posted position...often people are asked back for other roles based on how they have behaved. An email "thanks" is not enough. Sure, you can send one, and additionally send a hand-written note. Remember each person's name with whom you spoke. Thank them, and be sincere. An attitude of gratitude goes a long way...sometimes right to a new career!

Steps 1 - 7 to Small Talk Heaven

2010-06-30T16:06:00.000-04:00

“I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.”
~ Robert McCloskey

Steps 1 – 7 to Small Talk Heaven

1. Be likable – not to be confused with being “like a bull”. Go ahead, be the first to say greet other guests with a smile as you say “hello”!

2. Shake hands when you meet someone…even if you’ve met before or there are a lot of people around. Shaking hands stems from a ritual of trusting the other person had “nothing hidden up his sleeve like poison in the “olden days”, and as odd and germy as it may seem to do it today, it is still a professional courtesy (and even expectation) if you want to be taken seriously. Say your first and last name slowly to the person (even if you have met him or her before) so that you can save those “I’m bad with names, but good with faces” people.

3. Be mindful during introductions. Make the effort to remember names of those you meet, and use them readily. Be the person who introduces new acquaintances to others so that you are seen as the connector.

4. Ask a direct, non-intimidating question like “how do you know the host?” if at a house party, or “what attracted you to this event?” if at a conference, so that the conversation begins on a positive reference point/perspective. Also, know what current events, movies and books are being talked about. Have an opinion on them, but ask others theirs first so as to not get confrontational right away.

5. Stay engaged verbally and with eye contact. Resist glancing around the room while others are talking to you, as it appears you are flighty and/or looking for a better opportunity elsewhere. Listen more than you talk if you are not there to be the entertainer/speaker.

6. If/when appropriate, present two business cards to the other person with the cards framed with your index finger and thumb…facing the full card to the recipient. If the other person reciprocates, look at the card and comment on something positive/interesting about the card. Put other cards in the same place you keep yours to show those received have the same value.

7. Watch monopolizing others. Be friendly, be memorable, and be moving on. Know when and how to exit a conversation by stating things like “it’ll be great to speak more about this at another time, I’ll follow up with you later this week via email” (if you will), or “surely there are a lot of people who want to meet you, so I will respect that and not monopolize your time. It was a pleasure”. Close with shaking the person’s hand and using his/her name again.

To Friend or Not to Friend...That is the Question!

2010-06-17T09:58:00.001-04:00

“The right to be let alone is indeed the beginning of all freedom.”
~ Justice William O. Douglas

To Friend or Not to Friend…That is the Question

And, the answer is…

If you use Facebook and LinkedIn (highly recommended), and you receive a friend request from a colleague, manager, acquaintance, or co-worker, you may get that odd twinge in your belly that tells you if you confirm, you will be exposed, and if you decline, you will be a jerk. Ah, but there is another option, and that is by clicking the send a message link and replying with something similar to the following:

Hi XYZ!
While I appreciate your seeking me out on Facebook, my professional contacts and messaging are on LinkedIn, so here is that contact information http://www.linkedin.com/in/YOURNAME. Please connect with me there.
Thank you, and see you on LinkedIn!
Kindly,
Your Signature

This will keep you in touch, out of reach of the awkwardness of that person being your FB friend, or having to adjust your privacy settings for each person, and still make the connection on social media…

Top 10 Tips for Landing Your Next Position

2010-06-13T15:50:00.003-04:00

“I feel sorry for the person who can't get genuinely excited about his work. Not only will he never be satisfied, but he will never achieve anything worthwhile.” ~ Walter Chrysler

Top 10 Tips for Landing Your Next Position

If you are thinking of changing roles, positions, or directions in your career, consider the following:
1) Assess your past and the results you have accomplished to determine your 2 - 4 areas of expertise. Resist attempting to be "all things to all companies/roles".

2) Get clear on, and excited about what you offer and the areas/industries for your talents. Watch words like "I could" or "I'd be willing to", as these are red flags for people to realize you will bolt when another opportunity comes along. Know that if you cannot articulate your strengths, nobody else will be able to do so either. Have a quick 15-30 second "pitch" regarding your offerings - not just what you do.

3) Vow not to change your resume for every position/posting. It seems tempting, but that is the purpose of your cover letter.

4) Use job sites and industry-leading resources like institutes or associations to stay up on language, lingo and the buzz words that are likely key for your resume and/or cover letter to get selected from the scanning software that many companies use to assist in their vetting of potential candidates.

5) Update your resume and stop changing it weekly. Decide if you are staying in the same or related field that you can use a reverse chronology approach, and embrace the idea that if you are shifting gears, you will likely want a functional/skills resume that reflects those 2 - 4 areas of expertise.

6) Consider your audience and that you have much competition. Too much I, I, I can sound like it's all about you, and not about the company and their customers and/or clients.

7) Google yourself to see what everyone else can see. Revisit all your links, websites, blogs, tweets, posts, etc., as you will be researched by any serious potential employers or business partners. Present publicly what you want to be discussed privately.

8) Know that you are more than what you do for a living. You are a second-rate someone else, but a first-rate you. Keep yourself healthy and focused so that you do not start to resemble a tired version of yourself, or worse yet, someone you are not!
9) Be productive over being busy with what you are doing and with whom you are interfacing and collaborating. Never underestimate the power of contacts, professionalism and follow-through on comments, commitments and opportunities...

10) Network, network, network, and when you are tired of it all, get re-energized, and network more! Network to assist others, and not just to focus on yourself and your job search. You'll be surprised how true the adage is of "you get what you give"! Networking is how most people land positions now...and it's not likely to change in the future.

How to Disagree Professionally and LAST

2010-05-13T11:31:00.002-04:00

“The people to fear are not those who disagree with you, but those who disagree with you and are too cowardly to let you know” ~ Napoleon Bonaparte

How to Disagree Professionally and LAST

A well written opinion message allows for clarity and understanding (not to be confused with agreement). As long as you have an intent that is focused and clear while anticipating your audience, you will likely have success. Still, in order to be as well prepared as possible, the following steps to effectively disagreeing agreeably will assist you in achieving just that!

1. Decide what you want to inspire: thoughts, exchange, debate…

2. Imagine various perspectives…regardless of your position.

3. Assess whether you have exposure, experience or expertise in the subject area and know that your audience will know that as well.

4. Use the LAST approach, including:

a. Listen and have respect for the other person’s opinion
b. Acknowledge: (what you have heard/read) for connection, and to show respect
b. Share one or two stories with facts and evidence that are compelling/interesting
c. Tell your opinion

5. Create an outline and draft including an introduction L(Listen), A(Acknowledge), S(Share), and T(Tell).

6. Use proper vocabulary, punctuation, spelling and tense without acronyms (unless used only after the full description), slang or colloquial references.

7. Be passionate about the topic without being emotional about potential conflicts.

8. Look forward to the replies/ideas that you may or may not have considered.

9. Know you may not change the person’s mind, and that you still both have your opinion without there being a fight.

Soft COACHing Connects People

2010-05-09T19:58:00.001-04:00

“You get the best effort from others not by lighting a fire beneath them,
but by building a fire within.” - Bob Nelson

Soft COACHing Connects People

Surely it is wonderful to recognize and appreciate someone verbally and in writing! I encourage it readily!

Additionally, sharing praise about someone to another person is also an excellent way to offer recognition and allow others to know about it in an appropriate and professional manner. I call it soft COACHing.

Soft COACHing in their Presence with Another person includes:

C - Connect with another about someone
O - Offer what the person does
A - Abilities are the focus
C - Compliment sincerely
H - High praise and expectation for continued results

Remember, when you have the opportunity, coach others on the merits of people you know to be a referral of quality individuals and to encourage connections!

5 Steps To Effective Employee Education and Communication

2010-04-10T14:24:00.001-04:00

“Don't Make Assumptions. Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.” ~ Don Miguel Ruiz, Author

5 Steps To Effective Employee Education and Communication

It is tempting to quickly summarize happenings when time is tight and deadlines are looming, but often that just confuses or alienates people further. When complex or important occurrences are minimized, people tend to feel left out or suspicious about what they do not know. It is reminiscent of the concept “we know just enough to be dangerous”. Danger is not what we want… knowledge is. Just as talking is not communicating, providing documents such as organizational charts or spreadsheets, is not educating. Having stated that, together effective employee education and communication can be accomplished in 5 straight-forward steps.

1. Prioritize expectations and deliverables. Basing priorities on cost verses benefits and tying them to realistic time lines will educate team members on reasoning and timing. Communicating these things to all involved limits discrepancies in importance.
2. Define and communicate (verbally and in written form) each role and those role responsibilities. By breaking down the responsibilities, overlap will not occur often and strengths are directed toward the proper channels. Additionally, when people know their roles and responsibilities, they are able to work both independently and as teammates when needed.
3. Review progress on a regular, frequent basis. This is not to micromanage, rather to allow people to know when you are going to check in, and what you want to see. Additionally, you can celebrate wins, review what is going well, and determine what you want to reassign, change or update. This formal communication need not be lengthy, yet it is tremendously valuable.
4. Reassess priorities and focus. By tracking and reevaluating where each role/responsibility is and how they fit the “big picture” is an effective way to consistently reinforce priorities and/or change direction calmly and clearly to all involved. If something gets added or changed, or the scope is slightly different at some point, it is too easy to think it does not impact people when it does, and this step will include communicating influxes of new expectations or the elimination of others; keeping the focus clear for all.
5. Measure and share results. Be direct on what is measurable and when it will be measured. This supports the adage “actions speak louder than words” and will keep people productive over just being busy. When people exceed or miss targets, all is communicated together. Wins are still celebrated and called out, while misses are not overlooked. These results become inspiration and accountability for those involved.

While the steps here are covering both education and communication, they combine to create a leadership and teamwork environment regardless of your industry, group, project or system. Once these steps become part of your leadership style, you will be less tempted to summarize or skim and more inclined to include and yield even higher results!

7 Steps to Email Wow!

2010-02-05T05:22:00.000-05:00

“Champions know that success is inevitable; that there is no such thing as failure, only feedback. They know that the best way to forecast the future is to create it.”

- Michael J. Gelb

7 Steps to Effective Emailing

With people getting multiple emails each day, how does your email get read?

Remember that people have choices for what to do with their time, and reading emails fully become “optional” to a lot of individuals, and even within some company/corporate cultures. So, to set yourself apart and increase your “readability” factor with outgoing emails, keep in mind that most everyone’s favorite topic is himself or herself, and not you…meaning appeal to them rather than just what you want to “say” in the message.

Here are 7 simple tips to effective emailing:

1. Have a subject line that is capitalized, and reads like a book title. Do you inform and intrigue people with your 6 words-or-less subject line?

2. Have a greeting that is simple, and includes minimally the recipient’s name.

3. Briefly lead-in or bridge, which gets you connected to the reader (such as “Thank you for your prompt response”, or “What a great idea you shared in the meeting”).

4. Get to the point of the message or request.

5. Offer to own the follow-up (something like “should I not hear from you by Tuesday, I will go ahead and book the meeting for 4:00 PM at your office, and send you a confirmation”).

6. Go for the quick close (“Warm Regards”, “Kindly”).

7. Include your full signature with your contact information.

Be brief, direct, and be gone so that your reader’s time is respected, and you make a compelling reason for the reader to respond…and read your future communication!

Making the Most of Meeting In-Laws!

2009-11-26T06:59:00.004-05:00

"I awoke this morning with devout thanksgiving for my friends, the old and the new." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Making the Most of Meeting In-Laws!

While I love my in-laws, and am very fortunate to have the mother-in-law and fathers-in-law, as well as the brothers-in-law and sisters-in-law I do have, some people are just about to meet their future in-laws or new in-laws for the first time. Whether you have met them before, or are starting "anew", consider these 10 steps to in-law enjoyment at the holidays:

1. Before you go, decide it is going to be a good time. Envision it, and expect good things!
2. Prior to heading out, ask your partner for any “hot topics” or “out of bounds issues” to avoid, and ask for family members’ interests and check them out before arriving.
3. Take a family gift like a board game.
4. Be more about being interested than being interesting, and ask questions for interest and not interrogation.
5. Find something, one thing minimally, that you like about each person as soon as you meet each of them.
6. Share a heart-felt compliment with any or each member of the family.
7. Instead of offering to “help”, offer to do something specific, so rather than stating “how may I help”, say “How about I set the table?”, so they see action, versus courtesy.
8. Thank them for hosting and send a thank you note in the mail within the week.
9. At all times, remember, these people produced your partner, so like/love them for that regardless…you would not have your partner without his or her family, so keep the perspective!
10. Smile, be true to you, sincere in your thoughts and actions, and make it a great time!

Offerings Through the Triad of Identity/Positioning

2009-11-16T08:09:00.001-05:00

Offerings Through the Triad of Identity/Positioning

Do you know who you are, what you do and how you do it? Does your customer/client know those things? Does it matter? Absolutely, it matters...after all, those constitute your identity…your positioning…and having those allows potential clients/customers to know where to find your offerings!
Identity/positioning is realized through the creation and communication of three components: your brand, your promise, and your competencies, and these support the offerings you provide.

A brand is a 10 word-or-less (give or take an “a”, “an”, “the”, “and”) statement that quickly shares who you are. A brand is similar to a tag line, in that it is brief, memorable, demonstrative and true. It is not what you hope to be, think you should be, or what others want you to be, rather it just is.

A promise is a brief statement of work that relays what you do. This is no more than a paragraph, and it is an elaboration on the brand. Often this is perceived as something that likens a mission statement.

Selected competencies are a list of characteristics that are core to you, your effectiveness and what you deliver. These are reliable traits that, in concert, combine to highlight how you get things accomplished. These are words defined by you for you and your clients/customers as a reality/reference check on what is desired in an approach.

The summation of who, what and how, allow your customers/clients to identify you clearly and consistently. These three, the identity/positioning triad, are what support and promote the where, the fields/areas of expertise in which you provide your offerings; your two to four methods or areas or expertise for providing goods or services.

With customers/clients, all elements of your identity/positioning determine if your company is a fit for theirs. When there is a match, the offerings that you make available are selected and purchased, and then the presentation of the brand, promise and competencies are experienced fully by them*.

*While there is an emphasis on customer/client, there is no real, identity and positioning if the brand, promise and competencies are not in practice, believed, and embraced within you and your team first, so that the offerings can be done well.

5 P's to Marketing YOU!

2009-10-13T15:54:00.002-04:00

“It is very important to generate a good attitude, a good heart, as much as possible. From this, happiness in both the short term and the long term for both yourself and others will come.”
~ Dalai Lama

When you market a product, the 5 Ps in marketing are:

·Product
·Price
·Place (Distribution)
·Promotion
·People

And, I believe You are your product, so the 5 Ps in marketing you are:

·Positive
·Passionate
·Present
·Professional
·Personable

So, be positively passionate as a present professional who is personable in all you do, and sales, and repeat sales will be generated with much more enjoyable efforts, and with less “work”. Remember, you are selling you first, and the products/services you have to offer and represent will come as well!

Remembering...

2009-09-11T10:22:00.000-04:00

“So let us begin anew - remembering on both sides that civility is not a
sign of weakness, and sincerity is always subject to proof.”
~ John Fitzgerald Kennedy

Life and Leadership Books to Consider

2009-09-09T10:51:00.005-04:00

The worth of a book is to be measured by what you can carry away from it. ~James Bryce

For your life and your leadership, below are some books that I have enjoyed, and used in my learning and my practice. You may find value in them as well:

The Five Dysfunctions of a Team: A Leadership... by Patrick Lencioni

Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap...... by Jim Collins

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE Why It Can Matter More Than IQ by Daniel Goleman

Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships by Daniel Goleman

The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make... by Malcolm Gladwell

Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking by Malcolm Gladwell

The World Is Flat 3.0: A Brief History of t... by Thomas L. Friedman

Outliers: The Story of Success by Malcolm Gladwell

Made to Stick: Why Some Ideas Survive and Others Die by Chip Heath and Dan Heath

Freakonomics: A Rogue Economist Explores the Hidden Side of Everything (P.S.) by Steven D. Levitt and Steven D. Levitt Page

The Five Temptations of a CEO: A Leadership Fable by Patrick Lencioni

Thinking Before Speaking?

2009-08-29T07:19:00.002-04:00

“Love and doubt have never been on speaking terms.”~ Kahlil Gibran

Many people say “think before you speak”, but what is it that we should be thinking? Perhaps you’ll think about:

1. Staying true to yourself
2. Considering the value of announcing your view...is it for sharing, growing or learning, or is it just for shock value or to “be talking”3. Knowing your audience
4. Deciding if what you said were a headline with your name and photo on the front page of every newspaper and website, would you still say it5. Being prepared to accept the consequences of your actions/ideas/words (good or bad)

If all those are in check, then you will likely not be surprised by the responses or backpedaling from your words later.

Your Perspect"ive"

2009-08-19T20:18:00.002-04:00

Make a decision to survive, be alive, or thrive...the choice is yours...and you make your selection each day in your attitude, your actions, and your results!

Forgive and Give Yourself a Gift!

2009-07-11T06:59:00.003-04:00

"When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free."

~ Catherine Ponder

Forgive and Give Yourself a Gift!

Forgiving may come easy or hard to you, and either way, it is powerful in action and impact.

The four steps to Forgiveness are:
Expressing
Positive Thinking
Being Empathetic
Protecting You

Expressing includes:
Deciding to talk or not talk about it to the person.
If talking to him/her tell the other person, in non-threatening language, how their actions affected you.
Writing a letter and tear it up (or burn it) and move on if the person is no longer around or you want to keep the person out of your life.
Knowing people don't need to know that you've forgiven them; forgiveness is more for you than for the other person.

Positive Thinking involves:
Journaling about a situation where you were hurt or wronged can be good.
Being positive.
Deciding what you have learned.
Benefits you've gotten from a negative situation -- rather than focusing on the emotions you have surrounding the event, or writing about something unrelated -- can assist in forgiving.

Being Empathetic includes:
As much as you can imagine it, putting yourself in the other person's shoes.
Asking yourself:
Were they going through a particularly difficult time in their lives?
Have you ever made similar mistakes?

Protecting You means:
Remembering: "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me!"
Appreciating forgiveness is not the same as condoning the offending action.
Knowing it's OK (and sometimes vital) to include self-protective plans for the future.
Realizing you don't need to hold a grudge in order to protect yourself.

So, whether you forgive and forget, or forgive and remember, do forgive and grow!

Plan the Work & Work the Plan!

2009-04-27T21:41:00.001-04:00

Benjamin Franklin said “Drive your business! Let not that drive thee.”

Not a superior athlete, outstanding coach, or effective teacher has crossed my path who did not have a plan. While some started just with an idea, and others with a grand vision, each of these people had a workout plan, an offensive or defensive plan, or a lesson plan. Similarly, the truly successful, confident and organized business leaders who were prepared for growth and change had a business plan.

Everyone mentioned succeeded with a plan…not because of a plan, or in spite of a plan, but with a plan…with the right plan for them.

Business plans, like personal approaches, are not one-size fits all, and creating a plan for the sake of having one is likely to drive a bit of confidence and raise some awareness, but it is just a plan.

Brian Tracy shared “A clear vision, backed by definite plans, gives you a tremendous feeling of confidence and personal power.” I agree. Yet, without direction, focus, and real (read as realistic) numbers, no matter how carefully written, a business plan is just a slew of words and numbers.

There are a lot of steps in a business plan. Knowing your customers, your products, developing budgets, strategies and approaches, but the one thing that gets talked about very little is the unwritten part of the plan…the action. For a plan to work, it must be a living document that is current, appropriate and adds value to the overall business. The ideas shared and goals/figures projected must be worked, acted upon and realized.

Peter Drucker said 1 hour planning was worth 3 hours of doing” and that is true for creating the plan…and then the doing must be done! If you do not have a business plan, consider starting one, and if you have one, dust it off and review it for the purpose and usefulness. Plans, like people and businesses can and should be updated in order to keep serving itself and others well!

Stop Wondering, Start Asking

2009-04-16T09:50:00.003-04:00

"We look at each other wondering what the other is thinking but we never say a thing."

~ Ants Marching, Dave Matthews Band

Think back on your day and recall how many times you wondered - to yourself or aloud, and how many times others wondered (that you know of). Wonderment is fabulous and wondering is stifling. There is a difference. Wonderment is the astonishment or awe we feel, but wondering just keeps us in a perpetual state of not knowing. So, instead of wondering if your company is doing well, if your friends are happy, if you have saved enough, just ask. You may not like the answer, or heck, you may find wonderment in the information, but either way, you are on your way with information on which you can act, and not just a curiosity that leads to no other awareness!

3 Things...

2009-02-19T09:02:00.001-05:00

Remember it's people who make things happen...or not happen, so, if something has not happened, there are only three things/reasons that it did not:

Someone did not know,
Someone did not know how, or
Someone did not want to do it.

And, to remedy these situations/occurrences, you will want to address them very differently. The solutions are here, so if:

Someone did not know, provide information, and if
Someone did not know how, provide training, and if
Someone did not want to, provide an attitude check.

Attempting to analyze and interpret things outside these three reasons will be futile and frustrating...the challenge is to offer the right solution based on the situation, and not just continue to provide one of the three regardless of the occurrence.

So, from your children doing their chores to your team completing projects, ask yourself (and them, too) what one of the three things to address, and then provide the feedback to enable and encourage their success!

The Ten Minute Rule

2009-01-31T08:02:00.003-05:00

The Ten Minute Rule - What Is That?

If you want to avoid cellular phone calls and/or other distractions when traveling to meet someone, when making plans, use the Ten Minute Rule.

The Ten Minute Rule is a 10 minute window of time when you are going to be somewhere or meet and as long as you are going to make that window, there is no need to rush/call, etc.

For example, if you want to meet a friend at 1:00 PM, and you are not sure of traffic and other delays, you could agree to meet between 1:00 PM and 1:10 PM, or 10 minutes to 1:00 PM and 1:00 PM.

Using the Ten Minute Rule with friends and family (not as widely suggested for business meetings) gives you a little bit of time to adjust to delays, keeps you "on time" within that window, and just solves the issue of that frantic phone call or text from traffic.

Re-engaged Commitment in 4 Easy Steps

2009-01-13T13:36:00.003-05:00

"Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes; but no plans."
~ Peter F. Drucker

Re-Engaged Commitment in 4 Easy Steps

Here we are in 2009 already! If you are seeing challenges in people being committed fully to school, the family, work or the team, consider these four steps (in order) to re-engage and get results:

1) Take time to look back. Allowing people to briefly discuss the good and the bad of the past year (rather than the "bury your head in the sand about the economy" approach far too many are taking...or worse yet, the "sky is falling, let's complain, complain, complain approach) will make it known that you are aware, that you care, and that you are willing to listen and share.

2) Project long and short-term results. The long term, big picture, will keep things in mind, and the weekly or bi-weekly goals will allow perspective, accomplishment and a sense of reward for efforts made.

3) Get the input from all. When your family or your team is going forward with a trip or a project, they may not be the decision makers, but you can sincerely find a way to allow their input to matter and be seen in the end. Consider asking for a theme idea for a trip with the family and ask colleagues and team members at work for the pros and cons...the potential pitfalls and winner circle moments. Make sure you listen and learn, as you are likely to hear something you have not considered.

4) Reflect on the day/week/month/quarter with what went well and what can/will be improved. Celebrate successes and head off potential disasters with open communication and planning.

Through taking time to look back, projecting long and short-term results, getting input from all involved, and reflecting on the time frames consistently, you will get re-engagement and productive, communicative family, team or group members in 2009!

Have a question about your career or other things in your life that you think would be a great topic for a tip? Suggest it, please by emailing me directly to Debbie@DebbieLundberg.com!

Gift Giving You Enjoy!

2008-12-06T04:36:00.001-05:00

“The excellence of a gift lies in its appropriateness rather than in its value.”
~ Charles Dudley Warner

Gift-Giving You Enjoy!

With Thanksgiving memories still fresh, Christmas and Hanukkah are nearly here. To avoid the awkward gift-giving scenario of you got someone a gift and s/he did not get you one or vice versa, here is a tip that is easy to implement, and refreshing for most!
Whether it is in your office, your family, of your circle of friends, you know the deal, you are about to see someone in between Thanksgiving and New Year's and you wonder "do I get him/her a gift?", "if so, what and how much to spend?". These questions float quietly in our minds often and can just as easily be brought outside our heads and into a mature discussion with the other parties.

If you do a gift exchange with names, have people list a few things like favorite sports team, color, hobby, charity and stores along with their name to give the "secret" giver ideas what s/he might like and set a dollar limit as well. If you are not sure with friends/family/colleagues, suggest two options that you are comfortable with them selecting. For example, you could say "Sue, would you like to exchange $25 gifts like we have in the past or would you like to take each other out to lunch as our gifts to one another?", or "Joe, since we all have so much, do you want to skip the gift exchange and be grateful for what we have or give in each other's name to a charity?".

If you do receive a gift without one in exchange, it's OK, and the same is true for if you give a gift without receiving one back, as you ultimately are giving gifts because you want to, not because you are getting something in return. And, if you are the one getting a gift, the only appropriate reply is "thank you", not "yours is on the way" or "I'll stop by with yours later" (unless those are true statements). You don't owe a gift to someone, and you will likely avoid those situations if you talk about it this week before all the shopping is done!

Lose "Honestly" and "Truthfully" to Gain Trust

2008-11-23T08:03:00.001-05:00

What? Cant that tip title, Lose Honestly and Truthfully to Gain Trust be right? No way...

Yes, way...

When people preface statements or opinions with "To be honest with you", "Truthfully", "To tell you the truth", or even "Honestly", it implies other statements and/or opinions may not be the truth or from an honest perspective. Mentally people consider the notion of 'what, you haven't been in the past?'...hmmmmmm...and then, imagine statements following ones with "To be honest with you", "Truthfully", "To tell you the truth", or "Honestly" that now don't have one of those as a lead in, does that mean you now are not being honest or truthful?

Sure, these verbal crutches, as I call them, are intended for emphasis and impact, but they do not enhance or gain trust, rather they subtly imply you may not have been as forthright in the past, but, wow, now you are, so the receiver should 'listen carefully'.

Instead of "To be honest with you", "Truthfully", "To tell you the truth", or "Honestly", consider no words or "I find", Based on what I know, it appears", "With these circumstances, my position is". There are other options as well that may work to gain trust, too...it's just a funny thing that when we purport "honesty" and "truth", that is usually when people tend to question it!

So, keep those expressions like "To be honest with you", "Truthfully", "To tell you the truth", or even "Honestly" on the shelf and simply communicate without a preface to a statement or with something that doesn't work against you, and watch your trust with the person receiving the message grow...

Quotations on Teaching and Learning

2008-10-24T10:02:00.004-04:00

Some of my favorite ways of teaching and learning include reading, listening and sharing...

Quotations are a wonderful way to combine all of them in either a message, spoken in a group or written, so here are some of my favorites in regards to growth through classes/courses:

“Every truth has four corners: as a teacher I give you one corner, and it is for you to find the other three.” ~ Confucius

“It's not what is poured into a student that counts, but what is planted.” ~ Linda Conway

“Teaching is the achievement of shared meaning.” ~ D.B. Gowin

“The true teacher defends his pupils against his own personal influence.” ~ A. Bronson Alcott

“The secret of education is respecting the pupil.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Enjoy them, and keep on learning, growing, teaching and sharing!

Game/Event Tickets

2008-10-21T17:54:00.002-04:00

A log time ago, I asked for tickets to an event at work and was thrilled to receive the entries for people who wanted to attend a highly anticipated sporting event.

I was equally surprised when I was told the tickets were $360. I was in my early 20's and $260 seemed like a lot...especially since I wanted free tickets!

And then I thought about it...I was in error in assuming about the tickets. I paid and I learned my lesson to ask before agreeing to a price and never had that situation arise again.

Flash forward to when I was in a Regional Management position and had access to some tickets. I began to dislike opening emails and answering the phone near big events because 1 in 4 people were looking for freebies! Who did I provide tickets for first? Customers, results drivers and then, after that, only people who asked if I knew of how to buy tickets or if they could purchase tickets. They were doing it the right way, and I appreciated that. Often they got free tickets for the sake of their offer to pay without presumption and the people who asked for complimentary tickets, even if their requests came in earlier, were not tops on my list.

I have talked to people in Sales and Marketing a lot about this, and we are all in agreement that there is great respect and subsequently, value in/for the person who is willing to pay and asks versus expects and offers versus take. So, the next time you are hoping for tickets, decide you are willing to pay before you ask, offer to pay and enjoy the game/event either way!

2 Things During the National Anthem

2008-10-20T08:50:00.003-04:00

During the National Anthem there are two things someone should do: listen or sing.

This is one of the few times in our lives we are requested to respect a song and/or reference. It is not that long, and yet so powerful.

So, when you hear the National Anthem, look to the flag and either listen or sing...end of choices!

A Trademark By Any Other Name...

2008-10-07T11:16:00.002-04:00

“Reversing the Slobification of America” ™

It is exciting to know that my expression "Reversing the Slobification of America" has been accepted for trademark. I thought it had, and I received the official word last week in the mail for pursuing people who use it inappropriately.

While I do not want to pursue others for using it, I just ask for "™ Debbie Lundberg" to be inserted and for a reference to honored.

After all, isn't respecting the trademark and the process part of the reversal!?!

Success for All!

2008-10-07T11:10:00.003-04:00

This is an option for my email "cards" through my website email address, and it is wonderful to see and be reminded of the order of things. (There is no copyright.)

Too many people seek fame, money or position, and if they ever get there, they are lonely or disliked.

The best approach is to seek happiness and enhance others' happiness with your input and ideas and watch the significance and success follow!

Learning is FUNdamental

2008-09-27T23:16:00.000-04:00

As I remember the Public Service Announcements, PSAs, that stated Reading is Fundamental, I alter it slightly in my mind to Learning is FUNdamental.

It seems while many kids think "I have to go to school Monday", a lot of adults are thirsty for learning, and yet, once out of school, is there enough formal learning provided for them?

Speaking with a group of people at the Tampa Convention Center today, I realized that the professionals in attendance wanted to be there on a beautiful Saturday...yes, to enhance their work, yes, for the tools, and yes, to have some fun.

And fun we had! Learning is FUNdamental, and when each growth opportunity occurs, remember it is learning, and seek/create the FUN in it! Embrace the FUN and the fundamental is enjoyable and the learning is inevitable!