Thursday, May 15, 2014

Polite at/to Any Age

"Politeness is a desire to be treated politely, and to be esteemed polite oneself."
-  Francois de La Rochefoucauld 
Prince de Marcillac. A noted French author of maxims & memoirs. His is a clear-eyed, worldly view of human conduct indulged in neither condemnation nor sentimentality.  
(1613 - 1680)

Many of us have likely heard the expression "respect your elders", or heard a child being prodded with "What do you say?" after someone does something for that child or gives the child something.  Perhaps we have even said or done those things ourselves.  What makes us speak of politeness in prose and with our youth, and yet in recent, and continued observance, it appears as though many adults feel as thought they "need not" show respect to children or those younger than themselves...or sadly, to anyone.

I believe respect for others is a reflection of self-respect.  This weekend, when Michael and I were walking on the beach, as we went to pass a young boy playing in the sand, we offered "Excuse us, please" because we were entering his space, not because he was our elder or he did something nice for us, and not because anyone was watching or we felt we "should".  We did it because it is courteous, it is polite.  We did it because manners matter.  We did it because we are humane...not just human.  We talked about it later, and both reflected on hearing so many comments about the youth being rude.  And then we chatted about where they were learning that behavior.  Perhaps they were just repeating what was presented to them...yikes!

Regardless of a person's station in life, years on this earth, role at a company, or perspective, wouldn't being polite to that person further our relationships, or minimally not diminish the potential for one.  Could simple acts of politeness create an environment for respect?  Wouldn't the holding of a door for a man, a woman, a "whipper-snapper" or a great grandma feel good...feel right?  And wouldn't that be a reinforcement that each person matters, and that being part of the human race sometimes means slowing down long enough afford one another a little politeness? 

So let's please consider less who the person is, and more that we are engaging with a person.  How about we focus more on manners, and less on mattering? If we focus on what's polite, we need not lose our opinion, our empowerment, or even our influence...I dare say, we'd enhance them all...at any age...and perhaps with all ages! 

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