"One should not confuse the craving for life with endorsement of it." - Elias Canetti, Swiss Author (1905-1994)
Since I have applied for organizations and an appointment recently that required letters of recommendation, and having been asked for letters of recommendation half a dozen times in the recent months, it seems timely to "talk" about considerations for such letters. If you are seeking something...a job, admission into school, membership, etc., you know the most about the opportunity, and about you, so please consider the following guidelines for seeking and/or providing a letter of recommendation:
1) Ask more people than required (some people will not respond or participate).
2) Plan ahead with dates and times as requests, so that you can also send kind reminders without a panic.
3) Write a draft of the letter yourself if you are the seeker. (Yes, you write it, as you do not want to impose a huge time request on the person you are asking, and you know the two to four highlights you want to cover for the particular position/opportunity you are seeking.) If someone asks you, reply back to the person by asking that person seeking the letter to draft a letter first.
4) Start the letter with anything other than "I". Beginning with "Having had the pleasure of working with So-and-So" since...". or "So-and-So is someone who demonstrates..." is a positive, powerful way to begin!
5) Address the letter to the reader "To the Board of XYZ", or "To the XYZ Selection Committee" versus "To Whom it May Concern".
6) Provide more than one paragraph...and no more than four.
7) Change the letter to your liking once you receive it as the person being sought for a recommendation. Apologize for nothing you change, as to be sincere and keep your integrity, you want the letter to reflect what you feel/think. The seeker writing the draft is just an outline for you. Ultimately, it is your word, name and endorsement that is being recorded.
8) Proof the final product for dates, spelling and overall validity.
9) Ensure the letter is on letterhead and signed (even if scanned and emailed versus mailed).
10) If you are the seeker, if possible, plan to mail the hard copy yourself to ensure you know what product is going in, and that it is completed.
By allowing time and energy to spent on the letter of recommendation that you are seeking, you are likely going to get appreciative and eager supporters sharing in your journey instead of quick notes or the reply "I'd love to, but I just don't have time", or worse yet, something you are not proud to submit. Additionally, for the recommending party, you have made the effort minimal, and the participation and results will be maximized!