Saturday, July 11, 2009

Forgive and Give Yourself a Gift!

"When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free."

~ Catherine Ponder

Forgive and Give Yourself a Gift!

Forgiving may come easy or hard to you, and either way, it is powerful in action and impact.

The four steps to Forgiveness are:
Positive Thinking
Being Empathetic
Protecting You

Expressing includes:
Deciding to talk or not talk about it to the person.
If talking to him/her tell the other person, in non-threatening language, how their actions affected you.
Writing a letter and tear it up (or burn it) and move on if the person is no longer around or you want to keep the person out of your life.
Knowing people don't need to know that you've forgiven them; forgiveness is more for you than for the other person.

Positive Thinking involves:
Journaling about a situation where you were hurt or wronged can be good.
Being positive.
Deciding what you have learned.
Benefits you've gotten from a negative situation -- rather than focusing on the emotions you have surrounding the event, or writing about something unrelated -- can assist in forgiving.

Being Empathetic includes:
As much as you can imagine it, putting yourself in the other person's shoes.
Asking yourself:
Were they going through a particularly difficult time in their lives?
Have you ever made similar mistakes?

Protecting You means:
Remembering: "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me!"
Appreciating forgiveness is not the same as condoning the offending action.
Knowing it's OK (and sometimes vital) to include self-protective plans for the future.
Realizing you don't need to hold a grudge in order to protect yourself.

So, whether you forgive and forget, or forgive and remember, do forgive and grow!