Wednesday, June 29, 2016

ROSY Opinion Sharing

"Too often we... enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought."
~ John F. Kennedy
John Fitzgerald "Jack" Kennedy, commonly referred to by his initials JFK, was an American politician who served as the 35th President of the United States from January 1961 until his assassination in November 1963.
(1917 - 1963)

Expressing opinions is something people often do, and yet don't do well...from the perspective of those without the same or similar view. What is it about us that drives us to share our opinions so freely, and sadly, sometimes, so offensively?

There are many ways to talk of a view or even a passion that can get others riled up, and yes, there's a way, perhaps many ways, to speak of thoughts and direction without getting a's by keeping it ROSY!

What is meant by that is the typical statement is anything other than rosy, rather it's more of a thorny approach. Instead of simply 1) stating a view
2) attempting to rationalize or justify it
3) making others feel wrong or incorrect
4) alienate those not in agreement
allow for a ROSY-ness to your messaging by:
R - Reason - Share the reason or background regarding the issue/topic at hand
O - Offer the consideration of both or all views
S - Share a story or experience
Y - Your view/opinion gets stated

An example of the thorny approach to moving a vacation from March to July would be:
"We are not going to the beach in March! We will go in July! Who would want to be in the sand and surf in March? That's crazy! People freeze at the beach in the winter! Good thing we are not doing that!"

An example of the ROSY-ness way for the same topic is:
"Planning a vacation is important for everyone concerned. Sounds like a couple options are a March beach vacation and a July sand and surf trip. Last year, Carl and Bob went to the East Coast for the March Spring Break, and they reported spending a lot of time indoors, at movies, and wishing the weather were warmer. Considering we want to hang out in the sand and surf, I propose we go in July to get the most from our vacation!"

When you are ROSY, and sincere, the result is likely to be less thorny than before!!

Wednesday, June 15, 2016

Turning Down Offers/Invitations/Suggestions/Requests

No is a complete sentence. Oddly, we often want to explain things beyond "no". So, if you are asked to do something, join something, or accept something that is not of interest, consider these options for saying "no" kindly, without justification or too much explanation:
1) "No, thank you."
2) "While you are kind to ask, that's not a good fit for my schedule right now."
3) "You are nice to think of me, and I appreciate that even though I won't be attending. Enjoy it!"

And then move on!

Notice there is no "I'm sorry" or "I can't", or "I'm too busy". Turning down offers/suggestions/invitations/requests need not be burdensome or bothersome. Being direct, clear and kind gets you to that complete sentence you can feel proud of!