Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Disagreeing Agreeably

"We cannot have that relationship if we only dictate or threaten and condemn those who disagree." ~Zbigniew Brzezinski

When you have disagreements, or differences of perspective, and you will, remember that you are entitled to your view, just as others are entitled to their opinion. One of you does not have to be wrong for the other to be right. In order to consider disagreeing agreeably, and moving forward with a collaborative, professional approach, please consider the following expressions:

  • "You may be right." vs. "You're wrong."
  • "That's possible, and..." vs. "No way!"
  • "What would you anticipate out of that?" vs. "That won't work."
  • "While we attempted something similar in the past, how would this be different?", vs. "We tried that before, and it doesn't work!"

Utilizing these statements before the "vs." comment will likely lead to agreeing on something eventually, rather than simply agreeing to disagree...and isn't that more appealing and productive in the long run?

Friday, November 13, 2015

Savvy RSVPs & Invitee Niceties

"Gratitude is the fairest blossom which springs from the soul."
~ Henry Ward Beecher
American Congregationalist clergyman, social reformer, and speaker.
(1813 - 1887)

While it may seem like a very full time of the year, there are many events and opportunities to be savvy, kind, and considerate through your RSVPs, and subsequent "ways to be".

RSVP is French, and it stands for répondez s'il vous plaît. It translates to "please respond", so please do. That, alone, would be an improvement on what many do, which is ignore an invitation. In addition, here are some guidelines for being a thoughtful invitee:

1) Please respond YES or NO (no "maybe" replies, or "I'll try to swing by" comments) by the RSVP deadline.
2) Thank the host for being included, regardless of your reply, and resist saying things like "I'm so busy, but I'll so this" if you are going, and "I'm so busy, I just can't" if you are not going. Busy is but an explanation or insight, rather just filler.
3) Put the event and address in your calendar (phone, paper, or whatever works for you).
4) Review the invitation for any specifics such as items to bring, theme, or directions on parking.
5) Stick with your RSVP, and if something changes after the RSVP deadline that you were a YES for, call, don't text or email, the host to let him or her know of your change and offer to pay for what was being provided based on your RSVP. If something changes and you can now attend, ask, don't tell, the host, that if it is appropriate, you would like to please attend, and await a response. Offer to pay for any changes that s/he may incur due to your tardy reply.
6) Arrive when noted in the invitation, and if you arrive early, just wait in your car, and relax or get that quick call in, as everything may not be ready for guests if it is before the start time.
7) Provide a host/hostess gift with your return label on the packaging (for wine, it works great on the back of the bottle).
8) Have a great time within the theme of the party.
9) Leave while you are still having fun, and within the time frame of the party invitation.
10) Send a thank you note to the host within a week sharing something special about the host or the party with gratitude.

By being a considerate, engaged attendee, you are likely to enjoy yourself, show appreciation, and make the event something to remember! Additionally, you will likely get invited back, as your sincerity and kindness will be seen, heard and felt!