Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Know Perspective; Know Ownership; Know Freedom!

"There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them." ~ Denis Waitley, speaker and author

Success in life and in business is both a "no excuses", and a "no blame" mentality. People who know perspective and know ownership also know the freedom from looking back and the freedom to look forward.

Think back to the last time you made an excuse for something or someone, or blamed another person for a situation you were in. I hope that was long ago, and regardless of when it was, what was the ultimate outcome...what did you did you feel? There are not likely a lot of positive feelings, emotions, thoughts or outcomes that come to mind, are there?

Now, remember a time when you made time for assessing your view and perspective, and/or took ownership of a situation you were in. I hope that was recent, and whenever it was, what was the ultimate outcome...what did you did you feel? There are likely a lot of positive feelings, emotions, thoughts or outcomes that come to mind, aren't there?

You were the same person, with the same experience and opportunity in both of those reflections (for the most part), and yet, what was different? Your choices were different. When you chose to make excuses and blame, you were not able to gain perspective or were a bit "stuck" in the scenario and time passing to put it in the past. Yet, when you chose to not make excuses and not blame, you were able to gain perspective and could move forward, and decide what to learn, when to learn and how to learn...and move onto the future. So, it's up to you, excuses and blame, or perspective and ownership? So for life and business success, let yourself make a choice...choose mindfully, choose consistently, and choose freedom!

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

New Outlook From a Conversational Inquiry

"Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better answers."
~ Tony Robbins

With the temptation of resolutions or "new starts" to the year still among us, if you want to do something different in one of your first one-on-one meetings with team members or clients, or even your whole team or company, consider asking:

What are you most proud of from last year?
What do you want to retain this year?
What do you want to tweak this year?
What do you want to look back in 2012 and know happened in 2011...what would you like your future perspective to be?

Those few questions will spark directional, intentional conversation, and will give you insight regarding the direction people want to go, and what drives them as well. These are a wonderful way to see if you are "on the same page" or not with partners as well. Heck, your answers might even surprise yourself...

Happy New Year!

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Resist Judgment, Embrace Choices

“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” ~ Carl Gustav Jung

Have you ever had someone ask “what were you thinking?” or “why are you doing that?”? I believe most of us have, and while it is not enjoyable, it is often part of our experiences as people; as leaders; as targets for some to “attack” in the midst of our driving results.

Those questions/propositions do not usually feel good, or get us to simply and calmly respond, sometimes, instead, we react.

So, when the tables are turned, and you question what people are thinking, doing or promoting, I encourage you to look at what has been done as a choice or series of choices rather than judging the actions or outcomes. It’s not easy, but it is a simple approach…let others make their choices and either reap the rewards or consequences, and you do the same. Let the judgment stay internal until it dissolves, and externally voice something like “I appreciate your choice”, or “While I appreciate the choice, and may have chosen differently for myself, I will respect your decision”. The “you should have” or “how could you?” comments do not promote conversation, rather defense.

Nobody will make the same choices we would for us, and yet for them, they make the choices that they believe will serve them best. Someone else would be a second-rate you, just as you’d be a second-rate him/her. Let the judgment go, and watch how your choices yield respect from others and appreciation and consideration from yourself!