Friday, October 31, 2014

Quick Tip - Tricks to Compelling Tradition

It's a tricky time of year, as the holiday season is upon us, and with that, there are many traditions...desired or expected...from interest to obligation.The trick to compelling tradition is to in fact, compel really want them for you, those you experience them with, and for the result!

How do you get there? Decide what you want to feel, and with whom you want to experience those feelings. Look at what you have done in the past, and look to what you want in your future.

Release those things, experiences, people, activities that do not compel you. Those that make you feel anxious in the way you dislike or in a "have to" state of mind, are not traditions, they are simply obligations. Resist criticizing the tradition in general or for others, rather just let people know ahead that the experience isn't a fit for your holidays and wish them well. If others attempt to guilt you into do it, stay positive, thank that person for their including you, and move on.

For new traditions, make a commitment to the experience and yourself. Expect nobody else to want to do it or to join in with you. Invite only those you want to include and resist apologizing to anyone not included. Traditions that compel evoke feelings of love, comfort and joy. Make the tradition your own, and allow yourself to be compelled by the newness!

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Treating Yourself & Others Well

"How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours."
- Wayne Dyer  
American self-help author and inspirational speaker. His first book, Your Erroneous Zones, is one of the best-selling books of all time, with an estimated 35 million copies sold.
(b. 1940)  

There is a lot of talk of treats this time of year, so let's look at how we treat ourselves and how we treat others.

We can be our best friend or our worst enemy...and sometimes those two "beings" can present nearly simultaneously. So, to be fair to yourself, please remember to:
1) Set goals for yourself based on your interest, passion, and purpose
2) Share your goals with those you respect and trust
3) Measure yourself against yourself for your plan and progress
4) Give yourself credit for what you do well, specifically, before you look at what to improve (and avoid the concept of "can't", weaknesses, and "should haves")
5) Wake up with anticipation
6) Go to bed with gratitude and appreciation 

We can encourage others or stifle them with the way we treat them. Often, how we treat others is a reflection of we feel about ourselves. So, to ensure we are treating others well, first, get out of your own way and ensure you are all about the other person, and not how you are being perceived, or how you feel. That is likely the most challenging part of treating others well. Once you do that, and you sincerely are focused on the other person, please:
1) Look at the other person (or picture that person if you are on the phone or writing a note/email)
2) Ask what the other person thinks or feels before sharing your ideas/input
3) Listen
4) Measure the person against his/her capabilities (not your unspoken expectations) and goals
5) Give him/her credit for what was specifically done well before you look at what to improve (and avoid the concept of "couldn't", weaknesses, and "should haves")
6) Be appreciative of the time together and grateful for what you learn through the positive and less-than-positive experiences with others

It can seem tricky sometimes, and that interacting with others (and even ourselves) is no treat. And yet, we have the opportunity to treat ourselves and others well each day in many instances, so imagine what a treat it will be to feel good about the interactions!