Thursday, April 28, 2011

Fear=Results Through Nerves, Energy and Action!

“The energy of the mind is the essence of life.”
- Aristotle (Ancient Greek Philosopher, Scientist and Physician, 384 BC-322 BC)

While fear may seem paralyzing at times, remember, fear can be addressed for what it really is…a lack of knowledge, understanding and/or comfort, and eventually facing those obstacles will manifest that paralyzed feeling into the movement that matters most!

When you gather information, comprehension and a level of acceptance of discomfort, you can harness the fear and directed it into (or down to) nerves.

Nerves and nervousness are a form of energy, and energy will power and drive what happens next. If you embrace the nerves, you get to direct the way your nerves flow. From those nerves, you can generate real energy.

Directed energy can become the catalyst for action when you stay the course. Staying the course requires step-by-step movement, or action.
It is action in life that gets results. Repeat the actions you want rewarded, and watch the results follow.

It is from moving from fear through nerves, onto energy, and specifically action, that we get to results, and after all, isn’t that what we want in life…a result of a feeling, a position, money, role, placement, acceptance, or to be able to give more?

Allow your fear to be only what it is allowed to be…and watch what happens, as that fear within will soon become the results you may not have been sure how to achieve!

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Not "Why?", Rather "What?" & "How?"

“There are no foolish questions and no man becomes a fool until he has stopped asking questions.” ~ Charles P. Steinmetz

Many questions are asked each week, each day, and even each hour. We ask them of ourselves, our family members, our colleagues and our clients/customers. Questions are “good”, right?

Some questions yield good results…if by that you agree that good results are those that lead to conversation, relationships and results.

What makes a question more effective than another? Sure, your body language and tone have to demonstrate interest and openness, and making the presumption you are already there with a willingness and inquiring mind, what’s next?
The way we start a question is a big part of how the reply will result. “Why?” questions evoke defense, and “What?” and “How” questions invite conversation.

How so? When we were a toddler, we started asking “Why?” a lot, and at first, it was inquisitive and entertaining to others, and soon thereafter, our parents started thinking and even saying “because” with a quick quip, a sigh, or even impatience. It’s practically ingrained in us to react to a “Why?”, and yet we typically respond more thoughtfully to the “What?” and “How?” inquiries.

By replacing questions like “Why did you think that proposal was going to win?” with “How did you arrive at the price?” and/or “What indicated the positioning was aligned with theirs?”, you will progress and learn rather than hear excuses or raised voices (and blood pressure!).

Your challenge: for one week, resist asking “Why?” and replace the questioning with “What?” and/or “How?”. If you start with a “Why?”, simply rephrase. Watch, feel and even track the different interactions, and see if “Why oh why?” isn’t worth striking from your written and verbal communication…

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

More Birdies, Less Bogies…How to Keep Your Life On Par

“Golf is deceptively simple and endlessly complicated.” ~ Arnold Palmer

On the heels of enthralling close to the 75th Masters, and with summer drawing near, a golf reference seems timely this week. After all, it’s often been said that life mirrors golf and golf is a reflection of life, so with that in mind, here are 10 ways to shoot for more birdies, less bogies…how to keep your life on par:

10. Consider the full course; the entire hole and not just the shot in front of you. Ensure you are planning and not just playing. Life is about the strategy, the execution, the enjoyment and the results. Life and golf give us obstacles…it is how we avoid or address them that matters in our score and our confidence.
9. Golf is both a physical and mental game; it is not a game of strength, but more of balance, focus and precision. Make time to take care of yourself physically, emotionally and mentally. When you are not at the top of your game, you mishit, misjudge, and often miss out! You must give your life, your family, your colleagues the best of you from the perspective of “you cannot give what you do not have”.
8. Plan to go for challenging shots after you have watched and learned. Have "moxumility"™. Have the moxie to go for an uphill, over the water and trap tee-shot for a chance at a birdie…as long as you have surveyed the course, assessed your swing and game accurately, and have the humility to know it is risky…yet so rewarding when done well! Like in life, with golf, practice doesn’t make perfect, it makes permanent.
7. Enjoy every course, every stroke, every hole, every round. Give fully to the game, and let that experience alone be enough for you right then. Leave everything else behind and be in the game for the game…for you and your full experience. Similar to your daily living, each one is new, fresh, and all yours…what clubs or words will you choose today?
6. Don’t come up short on your putts and know it’s okay to want the hole-in-one. You have to “go for it”, and if you do not dream big, how do you know where your boundaries are and how to push past them? The expression “never up, never in” comes to mind…and that is not just for putting…you are up for opportunities, promotions, engagements only when you go for them!
5. Take a day off if you are really struggling or your swing just feels “off”. Step back, step away, assess (don’t obsess) and let something else be the focus. You can/will come back rejuvenated and re-focused. Sometimes that is true with something that seems daunting or off for you outside the course. Is there a break, can you step away…if you don’t you risk injury or burnout, so give yourself a chance to “get it back”!
4. Play with people you like, admire, trust and respect. Play against your game, and not against them. Get their input, ask them to back off. You can do either with those people. Be the same insider for them. When you cannot select with whom you play, default to #3, as rarely have I met a person who said “I am so glad I was paired with that guy/girl who criticized my swing the whole round”. When you look at your circle of friends are they those who want you to do well, or those who are critical…I’d seek out the former over the latter.
3. Remember, golf is a game of etiquette and courtesy. “Please” and “thank you”, honors and respect are not dead on the course, and they need not be foreign in everyday life either. If someone says good shot, say thank you. Be happy for their “hole out” on the 8th hole for eagle…that could be you, and likely will be more quickly if you are kind over letting it get you. Stay out of lines, repair your divots, and leave the course a wee bit better for your having played it. It’s like on the road when you use your blinkers, give the courtesy wave, or at a building hold the door. Let the etiquette and courtesy extend beyond the links.
2. Dress for being on the course. Know and own your style. Golf is a game of color and prints, shoes and hats. It is on a golf course where you can blend in or stand out. Like in life, it is a choice how you present yourself to the world. Like your style, your life, your outcomes. Know that not everyone will agree or appreciate you and that is okay.
1. Embrace the idea that sometimes it’s best to let others “play through”. Let things go, be grateful and give back. So many people may never experience a life of golf, but you can be a part of giving them a chance to experience appreciation and a charitable heart. When people act like that two-some skipping holes and riding you closely- it’s okay not to teach them a lesson, rather let them play their game, play through, and you go on with the game you came to play!

“Doubt yourself and you doubt everything you see. Judge yourself and you see judges everywhere. But if you listen to the sound of your own voice, you can rise above doubt and judgment. And you can see forever.” ~ Nancy Lopez

With that, I wish you all of the top 10, more birdies, less bogies, and when you see forever, you see your life is exactly on par!!