Wednesday, February 28, 2024

Leading Through Emotions at Work

If you want to have a life that is worth living, a life that expresses your deepest feelings and emotions and cares and dreams, you have to fight for it. 

~ Alice Walker

Considering we, as humans, are a series of emotions and habits, and our emotions can drive our commitment to well-serving habits, just as our habits can either quell or enhance our emotional states in reaction or response to people and situations, what happens when emotions are presented at the office, on Zoom/Teams, or with clients and colleagues in a way that creates discomfort? Can anything be done, or do we simply wait and hope for it to pass?

The answer is yes, you can do something, and here are approaches that will be emotionally intelligent, kind, and considerate to not tell someone they are wrong, rather give them an opportunity to sit in success. Much of these actions take place far before an incident, and others are for in the moment:

1)    Instead of creating and fostering an environment of emotionally-based questions or requests, such as “Do me a favor and get this report to me by Noon tomorrow” or “Don’t get mad at me, but…I need you to get the data regarding the XYZ widgets by Noon tomorrow”, ensure your language is focused on work, and appropriate in requests for the role and responsibilities someone has, meaning state requests such as “Because you are responsible for the data regarding the XYZ widgets, please share the ROI on the sales for 2022 by Noon tomorrow” and “Respecting you have a lot on your plate, is it realistic to expect the data regarding the XYZ widgets by Noon tomorrow?”

2)    When someone says something like “I don’t think So-And-So likes me” or “I think So-And-So has it in for me”, reply not with “Why is that?”, which can start innocently and then end in gossip and positioning, instead, shut down that language while being open to ensuring a safe workplace by stating “While ours is not a culture about liking and not liking, having it in for someone or blame, what specifically has happened that makes you feel uncomfortable with So-And-So when working together?” The difference is subtle, and yet you are not allowing that to subtly be acceptable that there can be people out for others.

3)    Should someone says “I feel like you don’t trust me” or “You dismiss me all the time”, or “You never let me finish an idea in the meeting”, rather than get defensive or tell the person “That’s not true”, or “I don’t do that”, or “You’re too sensitive” or “Calm down” say sincerely “You have the right to feel that way. Please walk me through the last time this happened for clarity and get us back connected positively and productively” or “Please forgive me for not being aware of that, I am open to hearing what you experienced”. Then, listen, and strive to relate with empathy rather than react with heightened energy. You want to avoid arguing or countering emotions. People’s emotions are not right or wrong, they are theirs, and working through them to an outcome and agreement is best.

4)    If you have gossip and bickering in the workplace, shut the action and activity down without shutting up people. Share that your workplace, organization, team, or group is not only a safe place, it is a space for support and collaboration, and there is not only no room for gossip and behind-the-back antics, it is an action such as one of those that will be the demise of the team. Share that if there is something factual to address, you will listen, and points of opinion are to be worked through by those involved directly. You are there to be supportive and to moderate, if need be, and that such engagement is to happen long before others are involved or told what has been occurring. This will garner openness and respect in order to keep alliances and cliques from forming.

Ultimately, you want, and you likely want your team members to feel and engage rather than get emotional and blame.

In nearly-18-years of my practice I’ve yet to meet an employee at any level who said, “I love working at my job because people are emotionally driven to blame” or “It’s great to get to work where there is an “in group” and the rest of us.” With that in mind, know that we are emotional beings, and that being known is how you can harness the emotions to appreciate and respect them without allowing emotional sabotage to take place. Let people have habits and emotions, and at the same time, let’s get in the habit of emotions being part of our experiences and not part of emotionally driven taking of sides, or dragging down culture, in the workplace!

#ProfessionalDevelopment #PersonalDevelopment #Kind #Leadership #Emotions #EmotionalIntelligence

Tuesday, February 13, 2024

A Guide to Delivering a TOAST with Confidence

"I'm just preparing my impromptu remarks." 

~ Winston Churchill

Without a toast to say and share good cheer with those around you, are you really celebrating the day, the person, or the event you are attending?

It's enjoyable to get to work with a Father-of-the-Bride, a Best Man, or a Maid/Matron-of-Honor before a wedding in the public speaking work we do at Presenting Powerfully. Those toasts tend to get recorded, revisited, and let's face it, a lot of nerves and attention around them!

Still, whether it is for a wedding, or something else, the toast at an intimate dinner for two, a party for 50, a celebration of a product launch, retirement, the holidays, the New Year, or something else, is public speaking, and speaking publicly, even to a limited group can be impactful. So, have fun with it all while you take a serious look at the guide to getting the toast just right through covering these five aspects of the announcement/recognition (and please notice there is no ring to the glass, whistling, or knife/spoon making noise on the glass, either, you simply begin, and you may repeat/restate the first part (the initial "T" below to garner attention over demanding it with a harsh interruption of an abrupt sound):

T - Today/Tonight we are here to recognize/celebrate…

O - Often/Occasionally we find ourselves doing ___

A - And since/because/with that in mind, it is a pleasure to

S - Share (mention a few facts or tidbits about the person/project/event)

T - Thank you, and cheers to the person/team/holiday/couple!

If you were toasting Joe and Ronna on their engagement, you could TOAST with the following in a clear, loud voice, without apology or noise to get attention:

"Tonight we are here to celebrate and congratulate Joe and Ronna! Occasionally we get to shine this light on each of them separately, and now we get to see them glow as an engaged couple. And, because of their example of love, and kindness, and the way they make the most out of life, along with their 2 years of dating, we will soon get to see them take the next step as husband and wife. Thanks for all you do to inspire us, congratulations, and cheers! To Ronna and Joe!" (Raise glass.)

Should you be ringing in Valentine's Day, or Galentine's Day at a group event, you could stand with your drink in hand and say something like:

"Good evening! The middle of February is a wonderful time for reflecting and looking forward with love and hope in our eyes and hearts. Often it is about the romantic gestures and the traditions, and with those in mind, please know that it's also about the support and friendships we all LOVE to embrace and appreciate. In 2023, we saw two of you marry, one of you adopt a child, and three of you grow your businesses to new heights with your passion for your work...all while we each cheered one another on! We are here for each other. We inspire and pick one another up. For all of those reasons, I thank and celebrate you, and here’s to everyone here having a happy Valentine's Day that fills your heart with love!" (Raise glass.)

Once you get comfortable with the format, and embrace the flow, you will realize you can toast anyone anywhere with the TOAST method, and the honored or honorees will feel special while the guests will enjoy the impact and brevity of your sincere comments. 

So go ahead, raise a glass, and cheers to many enjoyable TOASTs in your future!

 #Toast #Celebrate #Leadership #Ihatepublicspeaking #publicspeaking

Wednesday, January 31, 2024

Knowing the Difference(s) in Price & Worth/Value, Price & Cost, Expense & Experience, and Spending & Investing

Kind words do not cost much. Yet they accomplish much. 
~ Blaise Pascal

Has anyone ever asked you "A penny for your thoughts?" I don't know about you, but while that expression is a kind way of getting someone to open up, the value proposition is simply non-existent!

We have these oddities, especially with time and money...

So often people say/ask "How much does that cost?" when the real question, the internal question is 'What is it worth to you?' or 'What is the value of having this?' since the cost is particularly relevant to what you believe the worth is and/or the value of the item/experience. 

Say someone has 6 pairs of shoes with them on a trip and an attractive, right-sized pair of shoes at a lovely local store is $200, that cost becomes more about giving up space in their luggage, in other words, the opportunity cost plays a factor. What could they do with the money if they don't buy these shoes? And then, what will it cost them to rationalize another pair of shoes to themselves (or friends who managed to go 3 weeks with 2 pairs of shoes)? The worth of the shoes that potentially make an outfit during that trip is higher than the worth of the same shoes if they will sit in a bag getting toted around from hotel to hotel, city to city without getting worn. That leads us to price. The price of not getting the shoes aligns somewhat with the opportunity cost. Sure there is a price of $200, and then there is the price of if this purchase goes on a credit card. If the price of getting the shoes is paid in terms of being cheap when everyone is at dinner. Price is more than a currency exchange, it can be about energy and attitude, too.

The cost/worth/price idea gets us thinking about our wallets, our choices, and even our rationale for making or skipping purchases...and it need not stop there!

Time is our most valuable resource, so when engaging with someone, or many someones, do think about cost, worth, and price, meaning how many minutes or hours present as the direct cost, the worth is what you will gain from the engagement, and the price, or opportunity cost is what else you could be doing with that time. When someone says "Gotta minute?", they scarcely, if ever, only take a minute, and if someone, unfortunately, asks to "Pick your brain", they are taking time and energy from you, so you have a choice to give it or not.

Still, both the shoe example and a meeting with someone can also be an investment or a simple spend. How so? The investment idea is that the shoes will last a long time, and/or they will go up in value. A simple spend though is that the money or time was ours, we spent it on the meeting or the shoes and didn't see anything other than less than a fair trade or value, so we spent our time or money, for it yielded no return or less than what we deemed acceptable.

Now, moving on to whether the choice to buy the shoes or spend time with someone is an expense or an experience keeps most of us intrigued in a slightly new way. It's rarely both an expense and an experience because the idea of an expense means you got little out of it, and you have written it off, meaning it bears little worth to even revisit, whereas an experience means there was something in it that was/is non-tangible. Say the shoes were those to benefit charity and you like the charity so the experience of contributing outweighs that the shoes were an expense to move forward and away from quickly. Also, the shoes could be a wonderful reminder for years to come about the trip itself and that alone makes the purchase of the shoes an experience. Similarly, a meeting with someone can spark another connection, doing business together, avoiding an issue or problem, or none of those mentioned. If any of the connect, business and avoidance play out, then the meeting was an experience that moved you or a project ahead, and if it is not one of those, it was likely an expense.

What to do with these point-counterpoint positions and considerations? Here are the takeaways for implementation:

1) When you are asking for someone's time, present an agenda and goal that is of value to them focused on them, and then deliver to it.

2) When considering a purchase of any size, go beyond price to cost, other options, and the value for you having it versus not having it, as well as the timing and situation.

3) Keep in mind your sense of risk and adventure may be far different than other people's, so judge not what people buy or do with their time, as it is their process, or systems of process that lead them to satisfaction or dissatisfaction with their choices.

By simply and wonderfully allowing your mind and your decision to consider these options,  before putting money or time toward an item or an interaction, you will likely live your life with intent and experience the outcomes fully and openly! 

#Leadership #Choices #Value #Expereince #PersonalDevelopment #ProfessionalDevelopment

Wednesday, December 27, 2023

Embracing Experiences Start to Finish, Beginning to End

To become mindfully aware of our surroundings is to bring our thinking back to our present moment reality and to the possibility of some semblance of serenity in the face of circumstances outside our ability to control. 
~ Jeff Kober

Timing isn't everything, and yet, timing is telling.

We get excited, distracted, disappointed, and disengaged in what seems like an instant.

With so many things we could do and experience, how do we embrace the experiences from start to finish, from beginning to end?

It's possible, and even probable if we are willing to consider and act in good faith...

Part of the opportunities we have now is that there are so many choices for where/how to spend our time. Part of the challenge of those seemingly endless choices is realizing that there may have been another choice that would have been an even better fit for our desires and interests.

In order to embrace the experiences from start to finish, from beginning to end, first, make a choice, and be fully committed to thinking it will be enjoyable/purposeful, and feeling good about the upcoming adventure. outing or meeting, second, share with your host, your plus-one, or good friend/family member what you are doing and the reason you decided to do it, third, be fully present for what you selected and fully engaged in the idea/theme or purpose, so if there is a dress code, agenda item, speaking part or anything else, decide that you are "in" and be ready, fourth, and finally, make no excuses, and go all in fully meaning your time, interest, focus, conversations, participation and everything else is all about where you are, the reason you are there, and the people who are there (not those who "missed out".

By not waffling, not jumping from place to place, not planning your get-away, you can, and likely will, fully "be", and when you allow yourself to be, you are you, fully, fabulously, and frankly in a way that you do not have to protect, explain or second-guess. And, after all, when you can be unabashedly you, you can embrace the experiences from start to finish, from beginning to end!

#ProfessionalDevelopment #PersonalDevelopment #KIND #Leadership #EmotionalIntelligence #PerformanceCoaching #Growth

Wednesday, December 13, 2023

Public Speaking Tip: Correcting Someone In Others' Presence

"Correcting bad habits cannot be done by forbidding or punishment."
~ Robert Baden-Powell

There you are in a meeting when someone states something completely incorrectly. What to do? Ignore it? Tell others? Shout out the right answer or information?

While none of those are recommended, or likely effective, or good for your reputation and rapport with that person, and others, there is a solution...or two!

When you hear someone state something that is incorrect, HELP them and the situation humbly and subtly by making sure you:

H - Heard them correctly by repeating it back, and allowing them to restate or back off, and then 

E - Encouraging them to explore what that information could do or not do if more is not considered, then 

L - List other options by leading them to an improved statement or suggestion, and finally

P - Provide encouragement and collaboration for moving forward.

It will look something like this:

Pat states sales were only down 2% and that slow marketing has the projections behind when you checked that all marketing and promotions ran as planned and that sales are down 20%.

You may think "Oh no - that's way off!!", yet you say:

"Thanks for sharing that information, Pat. Please forgive me if I heard the information incorrectly, as it sounded like sales were only down 2%." Pat may or may not agree. If Pat realizes 2% was stated and 20% was the real number, you are done, and if Pat stays with it, you then say "You likely had information from earlier in the month before our final numbers were out, and that is before some other drastic drops happened. There are a lot of reports, and very recently a new report came out that I happened to get to see. Some of the options for looking at the sales are by months, by region, or by product line, and with those breakdowns, unfortunately, we will all be seeing a 20% decrease in sales after our marketing efforts went off as scheduled. I am here to assist with how you want to address that 20% decrease with strategy, sales reviews, or a joint session with marketing."

By being direct, calm, and open while not ignoring, talking with others later, or shouting, you will allow someone to save face, you build trust, and together, you can create a solution!

#PublicSpeaking #ProfessionalDevelopment #PersonalDevelopment #Kind #Leadership

Wednesday, November 29, 2023

More Same than Different?

"People are pretty much alike. It's only that our differences are more susceptible to definition than our similarities."
~ Linda Ellerbee

With so much in our feeds and on our minds about what differences we have and how our differences enhance our learning and growth, we may be missing something in that truth, and that is that there is a lot of sameness in us all.

Talking with a dear friend, client, and people leader on a recent trip, we were sharing our ideas about this sameness subject...leading to this article.

Please know she and I both agree that in our differences we find collaborative strength, so this is not a counterpoint to the concept of that, heck, one of my first LUNDBERGisms was/is "Like seeks like and opposites complement", so this is, instead, encouragement to allow yourself, and others, to remember and embrace both sameness and differentness.

How are we the same, or similar, as that is a word I prefer? We are humans. We want to be safe. We want to be seen and heard as the person we are and not simply the role we are in. We want to have a positive impact. We want to be paid, minimally fairly, for the work we do. We want to have grace and be given grace. We love and want to be loved.

Those may seem obvious at times and foreign at others. What makes the sameness fade in our attempt to grow or succeed?

In my work, living, and overall observations, there are a few reasons, including the desire to be accepted, insecurities, fear, and desire.

Perhaps it is our perceived constant desire to stand out, be recognized, when really, it may be that "please see me for me" coming on strong since the sameness kept us from appreciating it.

Rarely do I meet, have as a client, or interview on our podcast someone who tells me they are too appreciated. They don't complain that there are too many kudos and accolades getting in their way of accomplishing their daily desired outcomes! Go figure!

Another thought to keep us grounded is that we all have succeeded and we all have failed, and people take those successes and failures differently, As a matter of fact, I prefer we use misses and hits, mistakes, and successes, failures and fabulosity, instead of only success and failure because we hang so much emotional baggage, good and bad, on those words/concepts. That is what is meant by insecurities impacting us all. We don't exactly know how to handle when things don't go as anticipated, and even worse, we wonder what others will think!

Somewhat similar is fear. Fear means most of us have played not to lose. We have not spoken up for fear of being shut down, or not even doing something so that we couldn't be wrong or seen as incapable. When fear leads, nobody wins, only some get further away from growth.

Desire is the final similarity or sameness in all of us. We are driven by things, just not the exact same as everyone else, so the desire gets judged. Learning what people desire can assist us all in working together.

So while you are to celebrate and embrace your differences and those of others, let's be thankful for our sameness, for that sameness may lead to the saneness of really connecting first and moving forward with a genuine interest in learning more!

#YouAreStrong #ProfessionalDevelopment #PersonalDevelopment #KIND

Wednesday, November 8, 2023

This Month's Public Speaking Tip: 6 Parts Become 4

“If you know what you want, you can have it.”
~RH Jarrett

While we have been through the six parts (not steps) to presentation prowess and public speaking success, those six are about to become four!

The parts for which we have been covering to prepare your talk, training, or pitch include the following:

1. Open-getting attention with facts/story

2. Preview-time, agenda, purpose

3. Body-sharing the information through agenda items

4. Interaction-eye contact & audience engagement

5. Summary-check purpose, agenda & do Q&A

6. Close

So, since the Close is the restating of the Open, and the Summary is the reverse order of the Preview, your four aspects to sharing information and ideas are:

1. Open/Close-Wowing and ending with facts/story

2. Preview/Summary-time, agenda, purpose to guide and review

3. Body-sharing the information through agenda items

4. Interaction-eye contact & audience engagement

Even though you may have wished your public speaking could be as easy as 1, 2, 3, it is instead as simple as 1, 2, 3, 4!!!

Wednesday, October 25, 2023

The Tricks & Treats of Words (& Phrases)

"So difficult it is to show the various meanings and imperfections of words when we have nothing else but words to do it with."
—John Locke

While words matter, and the words we share with others make a difference, what matters most is what we say and believe in ourselves - through the words we choose!

As we make our selections, here are some seemingly non-negative or neutral phrases that have simple replacements that not only will empower you, they will position you positively from a mindset perspective. Let's say they go from tricks to treats in this near Halloween update. Those tricky phrases that are positioned to treat you well when stated slightly differently include:

There is no need to "pick your poison" (tricky) when making a choice, since that sounds dreadful when you can "pick your purpose” (treat), instead.

In place of "killing them with kindness" (tricky), which would leave people dead, "convert them with kindness“ (treat) and they'll still be here for you to share kindness with later.

Rather than "taking the high road" (tricky), implying others are on the low road, decide to "travel the road that’s best for your journey" (treat), and let others travel theirs, too.

Stop "being the bigger person" (tricky), because that implies the other person is small, instead, "be your best person, and let others be theirs" (treat).

Skip the "It is what it is" (tricky), as that implies there is nothing at all that you can possibly do about it, or as a result of it, and go with "it is what we make of it" (treat), and then take action!

Resist the "Agree to disagree" (tricky) comments that sound defeatist, and share sincerely what you respect and appreciate about someone with something like "While we may not agree now, please know I am considering your perspective on this, as being open to learning is part of growth" (treat).

These options are choices for us, and by choosing, we decide what we are going to say and do with intention rather than simply going with familiar expressions! And, in each case, we take out the tricky language as we treat ourselves, and others, to positive positioning!

#YouAreStrong #ProfessionalDevelopment #PersonalDevelopment #KIND
#Leadership #EmotionalIntelligence #PerformanceCoaching #Growth

Wednesday, October 11, 2023

This Month's Public Speaking Tip: ENDS on the Close

"There is no real ending. It's just the place where you stop the story."
-Frank Herbert

Remember back in the audience when you were in a presentation and someone said "That's it!"? It can feel like a huge sigh of relief to the speaker, and yet it seems so abrupt to those watching/listening.

That is no way to end a presentation, and yet many do simply dismiss everything they did with those two words, which are sometimes followed by "any questions?", (which we already know the questions are to be addressed in the summary).

The parts for which to prepare your talk, training, or pitch include the following:

1. Open-getting attention with facts/story

2. Preview-time, agenda, purpose

3. Body-sharing the information through agenda items

4. Interaction-eye contact & audience engagement

5. Summary-check purpose, agenda & do Q&A

6. Close

The last months covered the OPEN, the PREVIEW, the BODY, the INTERACTION, the SUMMARY, and now the CLOSE is where/how you explore what best ENDS the presentation through:

E - Extend interest in the topic by revisiting the open

N - Nearing the end without being rushed

D - Doing the service of completing the cycle from start to finish with a refer-back and/or a new take on the OPEN in order to "tie the bow" on the experience

S - Say "Thank you" and leave the space/stage

Having a powerful and purposeful close means you end on a high, and importantly, the audience gets the full experience from the way you begin to the way you end, and has a true Return On Investment from the time spent with you!

#publicspeaking #ProfessionalDevelopment #PersonalDevelopment #KIND

Wednesday, September 27, 2023

Avoiding Defensiveness When Being Dismissed or Played

"No matter how beautiful the theory, one irritating fact can dismiss the entire formulism, so it has to be proven." 

~ Michio Kaku

The other day on the golf course, a male golfer who we were playing with said to me "What you need to understand is..." at that moment, as I realized what was, unfortunately, happening, my husband, Michael, put his hand gently on my arm as if to say 'I see you, even if he does not'.

I felt myself tense as the words and attitude of the speaker brought a directness that was overbearing and dismissive all at the same time.

Sure, I wanted to scream or snap back, and yet that would not have been my best moment or choice. I was not going to be played. What did I do? The same thing I encourage you to do when you are dismissed or felt like an approach someone takes with you is insulting:

1) Be thankful that person showed themselves to you, and say something like "Thanks for letting me know how you feel about that."

2) Repeat back what you heard with words like "Sounds like you believe..."

3) Bring a calm perspective with verbiage such as "Here's something to please consider..."

4) End the discussion when you want with "Let's please leave it here with this..." or "Let's please respectfully close on this..."

To follow my example, I said "Thanks for sharing your view. It sounds like you believe XYZ, and while your view is yours, please consider that it may not be that of others. Let's please leave this at being respectful of each of us having the right to believe what we believe and forcing a view, or assuming you can force a view, isn't appropriate. Thank you." We hit our balls. I was sincere in my compliments of his good shots. We had a good round. If I hadn't stood up for myself, the round would have been a waste.

So, don't be dismissed, be direct. Don't be played, be powerful. When you are grateful, confirm what you heard, stay centered, and own the end of the experience, you may have felt dismissed at first and you will likely feel empowered last! 

#DoYourBest #ProfessionalDevelopment #PersonalDevelopment #KIND  #Leadership #EmotionalIntelligence #PerformanceCoaching #Growth

Wednesday, September 13, 2023

Public Speaking Tip: How to SUMmarize Your Talk Well

 A good headline is far more than a summary. It has to characterize, in a few brief words, the most important themes and news items of the article it accompanies. 
~ Parker Conrad

Have you ever been in a presentation and wondered what was covered when you were nearly at the end of the talk?

It's likely because of a few reasons, and one of the most common misses is that a speaker, a presenter, does not summarize what was covered to bring the information together before closing the engagement.

The parts for which to prepare your talk, training, or pitch include the following and this month, the focus is on the 5th:

1. Open

2. Preview

3. Body

4. Interaction

5. Summary

6. Close

The last months covered the OPEN, the PREVIEW,  the BODY, and the INTERACTION, so the SUMMARY is where the SUM of the experience allows for everyone to come together through:

S - Stating what was covered by reviewing the agenda items and the purpose/goal/objective to make certain that was all accomplished

U - Unlock the audience's ability to talk by addressing questions and confirming you provided what was being sought

M - Move through to the close gracefully and energetically

When you SUM up the presentation with an effective summary, you get yourself ready for a powerful close (which we will cover next month)!

#publicspeaking #ProfessionalDevelopment #PersonalDevelopment #KIND

Wednesday, August 30, 2023

It's Time to Prioritize Your Time

 "Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once."
~ John Archibald Wheeler

How is it that it seems like some people "get" more hours in their day when others seem to barely have 20 hours each 24 on the clock?

While we all have the same 1,440 minutes until a new day dawns, each of us doesn't utilize them intentionally and productively.

Here are 10 ways to maximize the time you have versus longing to get more minutes in your day:

 1. Have a morning routine (and an evening one, too) for setting up your da for success.

 2. Know life’s timing and know your relationship w/the clock so that you can make it an "I get to go to..." versus "I have to go to...".

 3. Create a list of "to be accomplished, then eliminate those lists nearly immediately by scheduling all tasks as outcomes in the calendar as you ensure you have buffers between meetings and engagements.

 4. Prioritize your actions and outcomes & ask priority of anyone giving you tasks, delegation, or other assignments with clear boundaries on the deliverables.

 5. Start early in your day & complete what you consider the worst task first so you don't dread it later and inadvertently delay getting to it.

 6. Stop the expressions of being “swamped”, “stressed”, “slammed”, “crazy”, and replace them with thoughts of being "fully scheduled" and "Gratefully booked".

 7. Say “no” or “no, thank you” to invitations that are not opportunities & resist “busy-ness” that takes time and makes no progress on what you have prioritized.

 8. Time chunk in 15 or 20-minute increments, and think about an hour being 4 or 3 of those chunks, respectively & own your time (not hope for it) with short meetings (45 minutes for hour sessions and 20 minutes for 1/2 hour sessions)

 9. Focus on 1 thing (no multi-tasking) at a time, as switch-tasking takes more energy than you even imagine, and if someone wants to interrupt you politely say "If you give me 5 minutes, I'll give you 100% of my focus.

 10. Create organizing systems (mental & physical) that work for you so that you are not stressed rather you are systematized for what serves you best.

Time is not something you can buy or produce, rather time is something you want to manage so you can lead your life fully!

#DoYourBest #ProfessionalDevelopment #PersonalDevelopment #KIND #Leadership #EmotionalIntelligence #PerformanceCoaching #Growth

Wednesday, August 16, 2023

Public Speaking Tip - InterACTion

 A good teacher, like a good entertainer, first must hold his audience's attention, then he can teach his lesson. 
~ John Henrik Clarke

Have you ever felt like someone was talking over you in a presentation, looking past you or above your head? Some public speaking tips encourage that, and it seems nuts, as we, the audience members, can tell when a speaker is not engaged with the audience at all, so don't be that public speaker.

The parts for which to prepare your talk, training, or pitch include the following, and this month, the focus is on the 4th:

1. Open

2. Preview

3. Body

4. Interaction

5. Summary

6. Close

The last months covered the OPEN, the PREVIEW, and the BODY , yet the INTERACTION is where true connection happens, and that is done through ACTing in these ways:

A - Asking questions of the audience, listening to replies, and not making anyone feel they failed. If you ask a question, be prepared to rephrase it in three ways before you answer it yourself. Do not be impatient, or it will seem like you are stressed or uncomfortable. You have thought of things and the audience is just joining in, so give them time to engage.

C - Creating various tones and timing in order to engage the interests of the audience since we follow sound and motion. Speaking in louder or hushed tones to tell a story or to emphasize information gets people intrigued by your thoughtful creativity.

T - Talking with, and throughout the entire room, meaning walk around, stop, sit, and ensure people know you are available and will be near them in some way throughout the talk. If you are using projection, black the screen at times to refocus the group, for if there is nothing on the screen, they are only interacting with you, and that creates a connection.

By the way, the interaction starts long before you begin talking. Meet people, shake their hands, and be available while sincerely interested. People who meet you and connect want you to succeed, whereas, sadly, those who see you as a stranger often look for your errors or missteps. You want the audience to gain from your being there, so give to them before, during, and after your public speaking opportunity!

#publicspeaking #ProfessionalDevelopment #PersonalDevelopment #KIND

Monday, July 31, 2023

This Month's Article: Building Trust

"Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with important matters."
~ Albert Einstein

"Trust me!"

How many times have you either heard that or said that to someone else?

While those words are short and simple, the act of fully engaging in trust is long and complicated...yet it can be achieved!

Trust is defined as the ability to state what will be done, commit to a time to complete it, and then, deliver to that agreement. And, trust is lacking when people are iffy, distant, non-committal, and/or do not do what they say they'd do when they said they'd get it done. 

When there is low trust, you have slow speed and high costs. still, when you have high trust, you work in a world of rapid speed and low cost. According to JSA, LLC, the keys trust issues stem from baggage, personalities, culture, and myths. My take on on addressing them include remembering:

  • Baggage–people have other experiences
  • Personalities–consider DiSC and EI
  • Culture–no threats, gossip, badmouthing
  • Myths–what hasn’t been addressed?

Keeping all of this in mind, trust is about communication AND respect , and since open communication builds trusting relationships, then you can appreciate that lack of communication creates doubt and concern.

It's important to build trust internally with sharing things such as planned days off, getting agreement, how performance management is communicated, and it is important to build trust externally by checking in on others, getting agreement, and aligning what success looks like for all involved.

While building trust takes time, trust is lost in an instant, and rebuilding trust takes far longer, if ever to regain, so If you think you don’t have time to explain something fully or check in with someone, then when will have time to undo the damages from something being done incorrectly and/or them not having faith in you? If it hasn't been clear, a huge part of trust is TRUSTING YOURSELF! So, do trust:

  • That you are capable
  • That is is okay to ask for assistance
  • That if your heart/head/gut tell you there's a problem, do inquire and/or act on it

Some trust DOs and DON'Ts are:

  • DO meet w/the team when you ahve any new additions, don't simply let people figure it out
  • DO use people's names, don't use "hey" or "dude"
  • DO check in on other's impressions, don't rest on your laurels or figue your past repuration is enough
  • DO ask, listen, and honor how people like to receive communication and be coached, don't assume or only share the way you like to receive communication or be coached
  • DO admit mistakes, don't blame others
  • DO be humble, don't be bossy or cocky
  • DO lead people and manage process, don't attempt to manage people and lead process
  • DO say “I don’t know, and I'll get back to you by TIME/DATE", don't guess or attempt to bluff your way through
  • DO ask "What, if anything have I said or done or not said or done that is keeping us from fully engaging", don't be defensive when you hear feedback, even if it sounds like criticism
  • DO start over with people by asking for a fresh start, don't keep trying to win over people by ignoring past situations
  • DO communicate (especially when money is involved) directly, don't ignore or hope things will simply pass

By being sincere and earnest in your effort, knowing you are not perfect, and that neither are others, you can establish trust and then build on that foundation!

#DoYourBest #ProfessionalDevelopment #PersonalDevelopment #KIND #Leadership #EmotionalIntelligence #PerformanceCoaching #Growth

Wednesday, July 19, 2023

Public Speaking Tip: Delivering the BODY

Since you know the 4 keys to presentation prowess include being an expert, putting the audience first, getting out of your own way, and coming from a place of gratitude, the body is where you get to share your expertise fully, and that is the topic of this July Public Speaking tip.

It's still true that the parts for which to prepare your talk, training, or pitch include:

1. Open

2. Preview

3. Body

4. Interaction

5. Summary

6. Close

The last months covered the OPEN, and the PREVIEW, it is the BODY where you get to fully share the information for the audience that they want and deserve, and in the order you previewed it. In the BODY, please 

B - Be prepared with slides, handouts or examples that engage the audience

O - Offer opportunities for the audience to respond, ask and fully experience your information and connection

D - Do have logic, pictures or stories to support an orderly approach to walking through a large topic with 2, 3 or 4 agenda points (too few is too broad and 5 or more makes for discomfort for the audience thinking the talk will be rushed)

Y - Yield to the 80% rule(s), meaning, prepare for 80% of the time allotted, know that the audience only rises to about 80% (max) of your energy, so you are not to feed off them, rather than serve it up to them kindly and sincerely

These actions will make for a prepared and thoughtful approach to keep you all involved, and with the BODY in order, you can be present for everyone present! Other aspects of the public speaking prowess we are embracing includes INTERACTION  (and that will be the topic for next month's tip)!

#publicspeaking #ProfessionalDevelopment #PersonalDevelopment #KIND

Wednesday, June 28, 2023

Moving Through...

My attitude has always been, if you fall flat on your face, at least you're moving forward. All you have to do is get back up and try again. 
~ Richard Branson

A while back, a LUNDBERGism shared was all about letting go versus moving through, and how there is no such thing as Elsa's FROZEN approach, and that song, while catchy, is a fantasy.

We do not simply "let it go", and suggesting people, or yourself, do that, simply let it go, is not only wishful, it is nearly impossible. 

How so? Here's a more thorough explanation for your consideration:

The ideal universe where everything is dismissable is something that lives in our imagination, yet our hearts and minds know that the reality is that of thoroughly moving through a relationship, experience, thrill, or disappointment.

Easier said than done, though, is moving through what is happening, conceptually and experientially.

It's tempting to simply say "I don't care" or "Who cares?", and act as though something has been let go, the reality of moving through includes:

1) Experiencing and feeling what is happening, and owning those doubts and beliefs

2) Processing what has occurred either is or is not what was anticipated, and what some of the outcomes may be

3) Realizing you have choices to vet and consider in how you respond, not react to what is at hand (which may involve sharing with a trusted confidant, and definitely is not about telling "everyone who will listen or taking to social media immediately)

4) Implementing the steps that will serve you best for your peace of mind, reputation, and footing for the future

These may all combine to look and feel like four steps for when something failed, and yet they really are also good for celebrating with gratitude and confidence rather than blowing it out and looking cocky or insensitive, too. We don't often want to "let it go" when we win something, and still there are times when you want to move past a label or client association, solely, and be a broader offering or business, so that is when the success side of moving through a situation or relationship comes into play.

Regardless of how catchy that song Idina Menzel song, and all the awards "Let It Go" is, here we are...and the cold truth of moving through can, in fact, become something that indeed "never bothered you anyway"!!!

Wednesday, June 14, 2023

Previewing Your Content Post-Open

"I always like to look on the optimistic side of life, but I am realistic enough to know that life is a complex matter."
~ Walt Disney

People are distracted. You, as the speaker, are the leader. Remember to keep energy, stay in control, honor the audience, and set the stage!

The parts for which to prepare your talk, training, or pitch include:

1. Open

2. Preview

3. Body

4. Interaction

5. Summary

6. Close

Last month started with the OPEN, and now it is time for the PREVIEW.

The PREVIEW sets the stage for what is going to happen. It is the opportunity to:

P - Present the agenda

R - Reveal the ways to engage

E - Engage the purpose

V - Verify the time frame

I - Include others in the direction

E - Elevate the energy

W - Welcome changes, if the direction is to be tweaked

This is quick, and sounds something like this:

In the next 30 minutes, the purpose of our time together is for you to gain insights into public speaking prowess, and that will be done through the following three topics: Engaging your audience, Preparing your talk, and Delivering with impact. This is for you, about you, and you are welcome to jump in, take photos, take a break, and make the most of it all. Is there anything missed in setting the stage?"

With the PREVIEW in order, the direction will be clear and the level of engagement will be high. Expectations will be set with agreement, and then you move to the BODY (and that will be the topic for next month's tip)!

#publicspeaking #ProfessionalDevelopment #PersonalDevelopment #KIND

Wednesday, May 31, 2023

Taking Action Thoughtfully

Stop the habit of wishful thinking and start the habit of thoughtful wishes.
~ Mary Martin

There are times when something is said or done, or not said or done, when/where you are surprised, disappointed, or flat shocked, and then there are times when everything, and everyone, flows so smoothly that it is as though a script had been written with perfect direction.

While the latter may be appealing and seemingly ideal, it is also le also less likely, so what to do when there is an oddity, peculiarity, simple oversight, awkwardness, or outright rudeness occurring?

Even though emotions may be piqued in you, implore your thoughtfulness whenever you feel that cringe of "yikes" or "oops", or even "oh my!"! By checking in to cover the following, you will know when and how to address the situations:

1) Is everyone safe? Safety has to come first. If anything is unsafe, immediately engage in creating safety, taking away anything or anyone unsafe, and getting assistance as soon as possible.

2) Is this an appropriate place for me? Am I a part of this, or am I an observer? If I am an observer, and there is safety at stake, it goes back to #1, and you get engaged, even if that means stepping away to call for the right enforcement. If you are involved, and if things are getting loud, resist telling people to "calm down", or "settle down", as that often irritates people further, rather, think about saying something like "Because you both care a lot about this TOPIC, and we are not in a place for discussion, let's please move over here" or "Since you both make passionate points, would you consider stepping into the office to talk more about this?"

3) Can I add to the resolution or am going to stoke the fire? If you can add to the resolution with a calm tone and reasonable request or suggestion, super, then say something like "Respecting I am jumping in here, would you both consider..." or "Since I may be right or wrong here, is it possible that you could ..." or "Considering I am just coming up on this, is there something I can do to assist, or is everything moving in a good direction now?", and if you would likely be stoking the flame, take a breath to redirect to assisting instead of inflaming those involved. If you are not able to get there, get out, as you are not going to assist with strong comments or antagonizing others.

Keep in mind that at no point is saying something like "Shut up", "Just stop it" or "You are embarrassing me/yourselves" is likely going to tame tempers. Instead, offering calmly and quietly "You are both likely aware that this is not the time or place for this" or "You each have your reasons, and it's reasonable for all of us to take this elsewhere for now, wouldn't you agree?"

Passions run high. Beliefs beget barking ideas sometimes. Let a little play out, and keep those three considerations in mind with kids, adults, colleagues, sports fans, and any human happenings not to keep people from expressing themselves, but rather to keep people from hurting themselves and others.

When you keep the human aspect of confrontations in mind, you can remember that some times go beautifully, and others are far from it, the humane thing is to thoughtfully pay attention and be willing to be a part of getting things (and people) cooled off with nobody feeling rejected or dismissed!

#DoYourBest #Life #Living #ProfessionalDevelopment #PersonalDevelopment #KIND #Leadership #1KindAct #Growth #EmotionalIntelligence #PerformanceCoaching #OneBeanerPerformanceCoach #LivingKindly #KindnessIsMyOwnSuperpower #Kindness #CoachsCorner #Resilience #Resiliency #Growth #LessonsLearned #Gratitude #Coopertition #Action

Wednesday, May 17, 2023

Owning YOUR OPENing Connection

Our team has always believed that neither cost and distance should ever prevent people from connecting with their friends and loved ones, and won't rest until everyone, everywhere is empowered with that opportunity.
~ Jan Koum

Like a specific dance, a score of music, or plays for a sports team, people can learn the standard moves, or improvise, but regardless of the venue, regularly following the steps in the planned order proves to be the most favorable approach. The same is true for presenting powerfully.

The parts for which to prepare in your talk, training, or pitch include:

1. Open

2. Preview

3. Body

4. Interaction

5. Summary

6. Close

The rest of the year, we will address these parts (and one more tips, too). This month, let's start with the OPEN!

Because how you begin is often how it flows, and how it flows is how it goes, and how it goes is how it concludes, the way you start your public speaking or presentation comments really matters!

While some call this a variety of words or phrases, I call it the OPEN, and this is absolutely NOT "I am so excited to be here" or "I had a hard time thinking of what I'd talk about today", or "I am so nervous to be here", as that is all about you, and not the audience, and it is about your experience, and not theirs!

Instead, think of the OPEN as a way to:

O - Offer energy and insights into your style

P - Participate WITH the audience, not talk AT them

E - Engage in thought and action

N - Navigate to the space and commitment you are grateful to get

In order to have something in your opening that is relevant to the audience and topic you can also tie it back into the close for continuity and professionalism. Options for ways to open after you have greeted/thanked/acknowledged the audience, include:

• A visual on the screen or music playing

• An activity that involves the entire audience

• An activity that involves only a few in the audience

• A statistic, study or fact presented directly or in a fun way

• A joke (if you are using intentional humor, and you are funny)

• A short story (which could involve humor or not)

When you start with something listed above, you get people introduced to your style, and they are quickly part of the experience, and not simply taking in you or your data! The OPEN will lead you to the PREVIEW, which we will cover next month.

So, open strong, and continue with strength for the audience, and about the audience, and watch your talk soar!

#publicspeaking #ProfessionalDevelopment #PersonalDevelopment #KIND

Wednesday, April 26, 2023

Word Choices for Engaging with Examples

"Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind."
~ Rudyard Kipling

With so many of us focused on how we feel, rightly so, and so many organizations wanting to have a culture and environment of safe creativity and personal and professional growth, many words and phrases are coming into the workplace in meetings, on Zoom, and Teams that may feel appropriate, yet lead to others being uncomfortable.

What to do?

Please lead by example by replacing words/expressions that can be emotionally triggering with these words and phrases that will still honor what is happening while keeping the energy focused on what is at hand:

"I don't like this" becomes "Because this is not a good fit for our client, let's pass on this idea." This example is about choosing what is best for the clients and not the emotional reaction to the person's idea shared.

"Nobody is supporting me in my work" becomes "Since I would like to collaborate with others, who is willing to work with me, please?". This tweak makes it less about accusing someone else or blaming others and more about a request for help.

"You need to calm down" becomes "Since your passion is clear, if you will please slow down and share, we will likely be able to follow well". This change removes judgment from someone's emotions while encouraging a change for a different outcome.

There are numerous examples that could also be added. Suffice it to say the point of these adjustments is to be empathetic without criticism and considerate without coddling. Additionally, when people approach you about others' words and/or actions, insist that it is best to not judge or assess emotions, rather to have an open dialogue about work, projects, deadlines, and expectations without prejudice or a hidden agenda. Emotions impact us and Emotional Intelligence will guide us through to positive results and real relationships!

#DoYourBest #Life #Living #ProfessionalDevelopment #PersonalDevelopment #KIND #Leadership #1KindAct #Growth #EmotionalIntelligence #PerformanceCoaching #OneBeanerPerformanceCoach #LivingKindly #KindnessIsMyOwnSuperpower #Kindness #CoachsCorner #Resilience #Resiliency #Growth #LessonsLearned #Gratitude #Coopertition #Action