Thursday, February 28, 2019

Happy for Others Over FOMO!

"Happiness is a choice. You can choose to be happy. There's going to be stress in life, but it's your choice whether you let it affect you or not."
~ Valerie Bertinelli
American Actress.
(b. 1960)

Being Happy for Others
Having FOMO

Recently when asking about an event I missed due to travel, someone accused me of having FOMO. FOMO is the Fear Of Missing Out, and it has become a common expression and/or perception.

Still, FOMO is happily, not something from which I suffer...and hopefully neither do you. If you do, and/or if you ever have and/or know someone who does, this article is designed to define it, address it, show the difference in FOMO and happiness for others, and give a few tips to shift from Fear to Happiness.

FOMO is an angst or anxiety regarding the inability to make, or the lack of being included in social or perceived important experiences. Often FOMO leads people to become distracted by, and even borderline obsessed with, checking what others are doing online.

What I have, my condition, so to speak, is simply "happiness for others", perhaps if we call it HFO, it will catch on. This happiness for others is the joy that is brought from seeing others enjoy life and engage with people positively.

There is a proximity to FOMO that HFO has in that it is about others and it is about how one feels about other's getting to do things. The major difference is the positivity that HFO comes from and exudes. With FOMO, there is jealousy, distance, and a perception of not being enough or "being left out". People with FOMO reply to social media with "I'm so jealous" or "#Jelly", or "I wish I were there", and when in person, they say similar things, including the addition of "You're so lucky", and "what's wrong with me?"

Individuals with HFO feel good about the way others move through life, as they know someone else doing something doesn't take anything away from their lives. In fact, they say and post things such as "So happy for you!", and "What a wonderful experience", and "How great you got to do that!".

If you mind goes to the FOMO side of things, shift it. Remember to be grateful for all you get to do, be appreciative of your opportunities, and find joy in your place and your direction. Keep a gratitude journal. Practice grace and blessings-counting. Even if you do think some of the FOMO-type comments, reposition them. Be "in the process" of getting happy for others through changing your behaviors, and eventually, you will change your outlook.


Thursday, February 14, 2019

Empower YouSELF with Scheduled SELF Care

How is it that we rarely miss a work meeting, figure out ways to get kids to school on time, catch planes, and even make time to make or buy what we commit to do, and yet we reschedule or cancel on our plans in our head for us?

We often prioritize others over ourselves, even though we know taking care of ourselves is important.

Having a plan, making a commitment, being focused, and taking action comes in the form of four things:
1. S - Schedule time for you for specific activities in your calendar
2. E - Excuse yourself from other things that distract you and/or are not a priority (without apology or guilt)
3. L - Let others know you are booked (block your calendar)
4. F - Feel good about the time you are making for yourself (not taking away from anyone else, and not feeling as though you "should" do for others at that time)

Allow SELF care to be your time for refueling and nourishing you...that is not self centered, rather that is self-serving in way that you take good care of you so that nobody else feels they have to!