Presentation Prowess: Know and Own Your DEMEANOR!

"I have fun out there on the court, smiling, laughing, trying to have good demeanor."

~ Stephen Curry

Whether you have experienced seemingly overwhelming fear or distracting nerves, your confidence will come from your interest, your preparedness, and your handling of the situation. Confidence will also likely come with time. With time being of the essence, let's tackle what you can impact and own yourself through your DEMEANOR:

D - Decide you believe in you. After all, the audience wants you to succeed, and whoever hired or asked you to speak believes you are a great choice.

E - Eye Contact. Look at the audience. Let the audience know you want to see them. Being connected through your eyes will give you insight (no pun intended), and eventually calm you through that feedback. Stay engaged with one person through a full thought/sentence in order not to look jumpy. Do not look over the crowd, as many early public speaking instructional suggested. People can tell you are not making eye-contact, and either judge you as 1) aloof, or 2) scared...neither of which are good for you! Move on from one person after a thought is completed, so as not to appear you are having a personal conversation, and/or that you are alienating everyone else. Additionally, you want to move on to include everyone in the audience and never give one person the stalker-effect where you keep hanging on them throughout a full segment or talk. Work eye contact in reverse if someone is being disruptive or talking with someone during your presentation. Resist the "dagger eyes", and instead, move close to the disruptive audience member without eye contact or comment...even sit on the table where the person is acting out, and watch/hear how the disturbance will be softened or stifled, without a word or becoming the "school marm" asking for silence.

M - Managing the Room. Talk with others as you check out the space. Walk around during your presentation. Make sure everyone can hear your voice. By stating something like "I take it you are assertive/professional/bold (your choice) enough in the back to let me know if you cannot hear me. I like that about you!" shows that "moxumility"Ô again by showing the moxie to mention it and the humility to offer a solution. It's even better than asking people sitting in the back "Can you hear me in the back?" If you are comfortable with your materials and your projection, you may want to lower the volume to draw people in, and then raise the volume to make key points and show emphasis. As long as you can picture, feel and hear your voice filling the space and the minds of the audience, you can do it!

E - Enthusiasm. Being enthusiastic does not mean you have to be loud; nor does it mean you should be loud. Enthusiasm is a confidence in you and your topic, a respect for yourself and your audience, and an energy that exudes from you that can be read...and even be contagious! A smile and sincerity are your two best assets in showing enthusiasm, and allowing others to appreciate your style.

A - Appreciate your opportunity to speak. Acknowledging your excitement/enthusiasm is not only okay, it is encouraged. Being too laid back can present as cockiness instead of calm. Say something like "Thank you for including me". Be sincerely appreciative of your opportunity. People want others they connect with to do well.

N - Normalize your situation. Eat well, be rested, wear what is appropriate, comfortable, and is true to the audience, activity and you. Have a mantra for your mental calmness. (I use my personal brand sometimes, and other times I simply repeat "You are engaged, you are engaging, they deserve the best you!") Whatever you connect with that is a fit for repeating internally that is positive and focused, is a healthy mantra for you.

O - Offer intonation in your voice and movement in your presentation. Pace and tone changes that are not too wishy-washy or high pitched both offer variety, and therefore keep people's attention.

R - Relax yourself naturally. Meet a lot of people prior to going into the room or up on stage. Be "that person" who is welcoming, friendly, and approachable. Breathe deeply before going "on". Keep breathing intentionally and deeply (watch the noise if you have a lavaliere microphone!!) to keep your voice and pace in control. Have room temperature water close at hand, and ensure you hit the restroom before your presentation (one, to go to the bathroom, and two, to check your appearance).

Your DEMEANOR is your style. Let your demeanor convey your nerves as confidence, and your eagerness as energy, and let your passion for your presentation wow the audience in a way that is respectful, rewarding, and warrants a terrific response!

Lift Others Up!

"We rise by lifting others."

~ Robert Ingersoll

When you hear something you enjoy, or see something you like, how often do you make the effort to share that feeling with the person, or people who created the experience? And yet, wouldn't that lift that person's spirits, and perhaps make his or her day?

The act of making an effort to say thank you to those who make things happen, even if it is "their job", has far more rewards than the seconds or moments it takes to express your appreciation.

Make an effort to be uplifting once each day. While at first, you may find you are looking for something worthwhile, soon, should you make it a habit, you will see, find, and even subtly encourage, these actions on a regular basis without much effort at all!

Lift others up, and watch how you feel lifted by the observations, the experiences, and the sharing of gratitude with others!

Audience Engagement When Presenting

Participation and More

A talk or presentation is typically best with engagement of the audience, and that means participation of some sort.

Here are a few ways to positively engage your audience:

• Meet people prior to the talk, or greet them if you already know them
• Walk around the room
• Make eye contact
• Ask a question and raise your hand as you are asking, so the audience knows you want their input
• Ask a question with "Who'll be the first to guess at..." so people know their guesses are okay, and then, when someone answers, repeat the guess and thank him or her without judgement
• Ask "Who wants to start us off?" and wait, rather than "picking on someone to answer something
• When someone starts responding, when he or she is done, ask that person "Who would you like to hear from next?" so that you are not calling on someone
• Use a fun object, or even a wadded up piece of paper as the talking prop that when someone has it, she or he has the floor - let people know you throw the object to, not at, others
• Call people by name
• Be sincere in your interaction
• Make the effort and have fun (without making fun of anyone other than yourself)

When you choose to engage your audience in positive ways, they feel safe, enjoy, and tend to want to be a part of the information sharing with you!

Resisting Regret!

"Speak when you are angry - and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret."

~ Laurence J. Peter

Canadian Writer.

 (1919 - 1990)

Regret is powerful. Regret is costly. Regret has no positive value. Regret has options.

Should you find yourself in a place where you feel bad about something you said or did in the past, or, should you find yourself sensing a bad feeling or remorse about something you did not say or do in the past, give yourself a chance to not live in regret. Accept that your behavior negatively affected you, a situation, or others around you. You may sense guilt, self-doubt, your worthiness, and even think you cannot overcome it. You can, you will, and you may even learn from it!

Consider the following approaches instead of, and in replacement of, regret:

1) Turn regret into a reset! Let yourself feel - your feelings are legitimate, real, and they are yours - you need not ignore or suppress them immediately.

2) Turn your regret into a reality check!

Gain a perspective of the past, and know that there is where that behavior lives/lived.

3) Turn your regret into a resolution! Gather a sense of moving forward,and resolve to live in the present as you move ahead.

4) Turn your regret into a recognition! Realize what you have done incorrectly and apologize for it to those impacted (with no excuses or rationalization).

5) Turn your regret into reassurance! Share what you have learned and make a commitment to yourself and others not to make the same misstep again.

6) Turn your regret into release! Forgive yourself ad release the guilt and negative self talk, as it is not doing anything positive for you (or anyone else).

7) Turn your regret into re-engagement! Make yourself available for openness, vulnerability, learning and more - with all your heart, and all your hope that people will accept your regret turnaround readily and with resounding support!

With these seven simple, reasonable approaches, you will not be looking back, and yet, if you did, regret would be in the rearview mirror!