Choosing Wisely for the Best You!

"Choose your love, Love your choice."

~ Thomas S. Monson

American author.

(b. 1928)

We choose how we act, respond, or don't respond through many ways. You are already successful, and by considering these choices perhaps you'll not only be the most well-rounded success you can be, you'll be the most well-rounded person you can be!

Choose happiness. While others will attempt to squash it, question it, and even deny it with interference, jealously or nastiness let that be on them, and for you, choose happiness anyway!

Choose kindness. There's a goodness, a thoughtfulness, an approach a kind person takes. A door is held open, a hand is held tight. Even though others may not see it, recognize or reciprocate your efforts, choose kindness anyway.

Choose integrity. Lead with, and close with respect, honesty and decency. Integrity can seem so large, so vast at times. And in life, in each of our lives, there will be times others attempt to sway you to go against your morals and beliefs. There may even be times it is tempting to take the short cut...the easy way. Look yourself in the mirror, and choose integrity anyway!

Choose collaboration. Notice I didn't say compromise, not even competition! There is enough room for everyone who is good when we focus not on others, but focus on success overall. When people expect you to give up, acquiesce or even lose to them, work through it together, and choose collaboration anyway!

Choose forgiveness. This, of all the choices we have, can often be the most ideal, and yet the most challenging. It's often said it takes two to tango. I say it only takes one to be jealous...and it only takes one to forgive. When we hold on to anger, disappointment and disagreement, we don't punish the other person, we keep ourselves from the freedom to move on. So, even when someone seems unacceptable, unrelenting, dreadful, or unforgiving themselves, choose forgiveness anyway!

Choose generosity. Not just generosity of money, when you can, also generosity of time, spirit and compassion. There are takers and makers in this world. Be an opportunity maker. Even when others seem to take advantage, or simply take, take, take, choose generosity anyway!

Choose love! Have an open heart. Be vulnerable. Let love in, and let love out. Love yourself first, and love others as well. Some people may be cold, put up a wall, have been hurt, and not say I love you back. Smile inside and out, and choose Love anyway!

It's the choices we make, not the circumstances we are in, that make us who we are, and who we will be.  Make your choices. Choose well. Choose well for you. Choose to be the best you can be!

Forgivness Instead of Sorry-ness

“Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.” ~ Paul Boese (1923-1976, American Businessman and Writer

When you realize you overlooked someone, something or said something inappropriate, ill-timed or just incorrectly, rather than stating “I’m sorry” please consider replacing that often overused expression with the request of “Please forgive me for…?”.

The reason for doing this is to make yourself vulnerable, relinquish control and allow the other person to decide how s/he wants to respond.

Asking “Please forgive me” means you know it is required/requested and that the person who was wronged is in a position to acknowledge and respond…to accept your admission or not. “I’m sorry” still recognizes something happened that was not quite right, and yet it expresses your focus on self and wanting to feel better for you rather than letting the other person’s feelings come first.

It’s a small change that may offer a new perspective, and a new consideration for how an error can be amended, and it is my belief that a sincere “Please forgive me…?” will convey a deeper interest and sincerity that a quick “I’m sorry”! So while missteps will occur, how you handle the acknowledgement of them is up to you…

Forgive and Give Yourself a Gift!

"When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free."

~ Catherine Ponder

Forgive and Give Yourself a Gift!

Forgiving may come easy or hard to you, and either way, it is powerful in action and impact.

The four steps to Forgiveness are:
Expressing
Positive Thinking
Being Empathetic
Protecting You

Expressing includes:
Deciding to talk or not talk about it to the person.
If talking to him/her tell the other person, in non-threatening language, how their actions affected you.
Writing a letter and tear it up (or burn it) and move on if the person is no longer around or you want to keep the person out of your life.
Knowing people don't need to know that you've forgiven them; forgiveness is more for you than for the other person.

Positive Thinking involves:
Journaling about a situation where you were hurt or wronged can be good.
Being positive.
Deciding what you have learned.
Benefits you've gotten from a negative situation -- rather than focusing on the emotions you have surrounding the event, or writing about something unrelated -- can assist in forgiving.

Being Empathetic includes:
As much as you can imagine it, putting yourself in the other person's shoes.
Asking yourself:
Were they going through a particularly difficult time in their lives?
Have you ever made similar mistakes?

Protecting You means:
Remembering: "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me!"
Appreciating forgiveness is not the same as condoning the offending action.
Knowing it's OK (and sometimes vital) to include self-protective plans for the future.
Realizing you don't need to hold a grudge in order to protect yourself.

So, whether you forgive and forget, or forgive and remember, do forgive and grow!