Body Language Do's & Don'ts

"Language is a more recent technology. Your body language, your eyes, your energy will come through to your audience before you even start speaking."

- Peter Guber

Howard Peter Guber is an American film producer and executive and Chairman and CEO of Mandalay Entertainment.

(b. 1942)

While much of what we say is what gets quoted or shared with others, it is how we make people feel that is even more well remembered.  Part of that "feeling" people get from us has to do with our attitude, some with the situation, and a lot of it has to do with our body language.

A few do's and don'ts for those holiday parties, business meetings and networking events are below...some of which may surprise you based on reports in the past, and all of which will serve you well in being confident, approachable, respectful and engaging with most everyone you meet:

In order to: Be welcoming of/to others and ideas presented. 

Do: Fold your arms in front of you if you are chilly or it is comfortable for you, just keep your fingers out and the cross of the arms below your breast line.
Don't: Fold your arms tightly at your breast line with your hands fully tucked in at the elbows. 

In order to: Convey interest, sincerity and honesty.

Do: Keep eye contact as much as possible, and allow yourself to blink or shift your smile or footing rather than looking away.
Don't: Look around to see who is watching or who else may be present.

In order to: Look and stay engaged. 

Do: Put your mobile devices on silent and out of sight when with other people.
Don't: Put your device on the table, keep the ringer or even vibrate on when with others in conversation or at events.

In order to: Appear polished, professional, well-rested and alert.

Do: Roll your shoulders, practice sitting up straight with shoulders down firmly.
Don't: Slouch.

In order to: Present as professional, mature, and patient when you may or may not agree with a statement; position or proposal.

Do: Listen with your pen, so to speak, by taking notes and avoid sitting by, and even eye contact with someone who may be in the meeting who is less discreet.
Don't: Sit next to someone and whisper to one another with a hand held up as though it will shield the whole act of secrecy.

In order to: Show interest in various opinions/approaches without attacking.

Do: Ask questions that start with "what" or "how" as those open up your face, and therefore, your positioning.
Don't: Ask "why" questions, as those create furrowed brows, frowns, and often close your facial positioning.

In order to: Respectful of all involved, confident and professional.

Do: Shake each person's hand with a firm handshake that meets web-to-web, with your index finger slightly pointed forward, and two-three pumps of the hand from the elbow.
Don't: Attempt to crush another person's hand with an ultra-firm grip, shake for a long period of time, cup the other person's hand, and/or grip a woman's hand differently than a man's.

In order to: Alert and attentive.

Do: Put hands at side, one in pocket, if standing, or clasped on table or in lap when seated.
Don't: Fidget,bite nails, play with hair, touch head or face.