Being Okay with Being Okay

"I'll lean on you and you lean on me and we'll be okay."

~ Dave Matthews

South African-born American singer-songwriter, musician and actor,[1] best known as the lead vocalist, songwriter, and guitarist for the Dave Matthews Band. 

(b. 1967)

In a world where we are inundated with people telling us to smile and look happy, and upbeat posts on social media with a constant count on number of likes and shares, it can lead to the perception that we are each supposed to be on top of the world at all times and even perfect...or at least appear to be!

Perfect seems ideal. Perfect is personal. And, perfect is fleeting. Perfect is perfectly ridiculous! There are times when the idea of perfect may be desirable, and yet with people, circumstances and timing, things are not, and will not, be perfect. And, that's okay.

Sometimes okay is where you are. And that is okay. Forgiving and not forgetting is okay. Having a not-so-great day is okay. Having a not-so-horrible day is okay. This is not about lowering the bar, or lessening desires, rather being okay with being okay is about knowing that there are moments, hours, and even days in life where things are just alright. We may not post about them, take photos of them, or talk much about them, and yet they are there, and they are okay.

When we admit that things can be okay, and then recognize them, we can be okay with being okay. From there, sure, we can shift to things being better, good, great, and terrific! Let's start with okay, and let go of perfect in order to make being okay with being okay something we embrace rather than something we resist!

Cancellation Etiquette

While most of us would like to not ever have to cancel on plans, it is going to happen that life, other people, timing and priorities may keep you from being able to attend something for which you originally sent a yes RSVP.

In those instances, consider the planner, organizer and/or host, and please do all of the following:
1) Call the person before the event to ask for forgiveness for changing plans, and wish the planner, organizer and/or host the best on the event (without sharing your drama).
2) Email and/or text the person before the event to ask for forgiveness for changing plans, and wish the planner, organizer and/or host the best on the event (without sharing your drama).
3) Call the person after the event to check in and find out how the event went. Thank the planner, organizer and/or host for the invitation to the event (without sharing your drama).
4) Text or email the person after the event to check in and find out how the event went. Thank the planner, organizer and/or host for the invitation to the event (without sharing your drama).

Move on, and ensure the conversation and focus is on appreciation and not complaint. (And then, make every effort not to have to cancel again!)