RSVP is an English initialism derived from the French statement or question Répondez s'il vous plaît, loosely meaning "Respond if you please" to require confirmation of an invitation in order for the inviting party to be able to plan for who will be at an event.
While there is a part that is "if you please", there is really nothing pleasing about ignoring an invitation. Unless the invitation says "Regrets Only" or something other than RSVP, or please respond on or before DATE, then send your "Yes" or "No, thank you" to any and all formal invitations.
An RSVP is a response. Let someone know yes or no. Respect the deadline, and don't make changes to your RSVP unless something arises that s unavoidable.
People who send out invitations early deserve your respect of an RSVP and your keeping to it. Even if something else comes along, own your actions, and be present fully when attending!
How you present is how you are remembered! This is a twice monthly blog for for enhancing your life and your leadership in the areas effective communication, professional behaviors and thriving relationships from a certified life coach and leadership coach. These tips and tools are for your enjoyment and consideration...much like the books about Reversing the Slobification of AmericaTM.
Showing posts with label RSVP. Show all posts
Showing posts with label RSVP. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 16, 2019
Friday, March 15, 2019
RSVP Courtesies & Commitments
Are considerations and manners regarding RSVPs a thing of the past?
Not necessarily. With email, Social Media Invitations and text messaging, some people perceive a catered party the same as a social gathering at a home and likely the same as a happy hour at a bar/club...and there are clear differences! You will likely be invited back again and again if you follow the courtesies of the RSVP.
Sadly, more and more often, (and through personal experience) hosts commonly do not receive solid indications whether guests plan to attend their events, even if RSVP is clearly denoted on the invitation or in the Social Media Invitation.
Considering each person in a work or social group comes from a different background, family situation and exposure, perhaps revisiting what RSVP means is best first. The term RSVP (or more formally, R.S.V.P.) comes from the French expression "Réspondez S'il Vous Plaît", meaning "please respond" (or as I like to think of it, respond and then follow through if you ever want to maintain social graces).
If/when you get a mailed invitation or evite Invitation with an RSVP indicator, it means you want to tell the host whether or not you plan to attend the party, and by the date indicated in the invitation. If there is no date indicated for a response, provide your firm reply as soon as possible, and minimally five (5) days prior to the event. RSVP does not mean to respond only if you're coming, and it does not mean respond only if you're not coming (the expression "regrets only" is reserved for that instance). An incomplete list of respondents can cause numerous problems for a host including difficulty in planning food quantities, issues relating to minimum guarantees with catering halls, uncertainty over the number of party favors and difficulties in planning appropriate seating, among other things. Also, do not invite other guests to attend a party if there is hosting of drinks or food involved. If you would like someone included, ask the host before five days prior if all the invitations have been sent. If your invitation indicates a guest, bring no more than one guest, and let the host know his/her name prior to arriving at the event. (The exception to this guideline is if there is a pay-as-you-go happy hour event that is not at someone's home, and/or if the host has indicated "the more the merrier" on the invitation.)
What happens if something unexpected comes up in the five days prior to the event or even the day of the event? Make an effort to phone the host as soon as you know you cannot attend (getting a more exotic offer is not a reason not to attend...ethics and decency should play into accepting an invitation). When you reach the host, do not bog him or her down with your story. Simply be brief, ask forgiveness and offer to pay for your portion of the festivities. Yes, you have committed and now you are backing out, so plan to provide relief to the host. Often the host will not accept payment. Send a note within the week and a small gift if the event was being catered. Flowers are a welcomed surprise and thoughtful way to keep things pleasant between you. A gift is not necessary...just a great touch! Remember, the host is investing in everything from glasses to favors and food. Your being considerate of the fact that the seating and event/game counts may be off, is the least you can do!
When you do attend an event for which you have RSVP'd, take a small token of your appreciation, like a bottle of wine, spirits, or candle. Host gifts are wonderful and many a host loves to show them off in their home for it shows kindness and enjoyment and reminds them that people recognize them for opening their home. A host gift is not necessary, though. A call or note the next day will work as a close second for giving thanks to the host. Regardless of what you do, give thanks...and do not ask for a house tour if you are at the host home. Remember he/she has been working on the event...let him/her offer if they like. For all we know as the guest, one room became the "catch all" if you will, and the last thing the composed host should be put in a position to do is to have to explain the closed door to a room!
If you are hosting a party where you are providing food or drink...or both, I suggest including an RSVP to be written on an invitation or in a Social Media Invitation and do not text, or simply email an invitation. When the RSVP is noted, state a firm date for the responses. If you find many people hedge for a better offer, an opportunity, a child's possible event taking priority, then, when making your reminder calls (preferred over emails, but emails are okay...minimally do some sort of reminder or confirmation), just let people know at that three-to-five days prior period that while you would love to have them there, you'll put them as a no for this event and perhaps the next time scheduling will work out better. Do not accept a maybe only a few days out. While you may have enough food and drink, it sets the stage for repeated behavior by that person...and sets the example for far too many more!
So, having taken all this in, remember, the next time you see RSVP on an invitation you receive, do just that, Réspondez S'il Vous Plait, promptly and respect the courtesy and you make it a commitment to be a spectacular party/event!
Not necessarily. With email, Social Media Invitations and text messaging, some people perceive a catered party the same as a social gathering at a home and likely the same as a happy hour at a bar/club...and there are clear differences! You will likely be invited back again and again if you follow the courtesies of the RSVP.
Sadly, more and more often, (and through personal experience) hosts commonly do not receive solid indications whether guests plan to attend their events, even if RSVP is clearly denoted on the invitation or in the Social Media Invitation.
Considering each person in a work or social group comes from a different background, family situation and exposure, perhaps revisiting what RSVP means is best first. The term RSVP (or more formally, R.S.V.P.) comes from the French expression "Réspondez S'il Vous Plaît", meaning "please respond" (or as I like to think of it, respond and then follow through if you ever want to maintain social graces).
If/when you get a mailed invitation or evite Invitation with an RSVP indicator, it means you want to tell the host whether or not you plan to attend the party, and by the date indicated in the invitation. If there is no date indicated for a response, provide your firm reply as soon as possible, and minimally five (5) days prior to the event. RSVP does not mean to respond only if you're coming, and it does not mean respond only if you're not coming (the expression "regrets only" is reserved for that instance). An incomplete list of respondents can cause numerous problems for a host including difficulty in planning food quantities, issues relating to minimum guarantees with catering halls, uncertainty over the number of party favors and difficulties in planning appropriate seating, among other things. Also, do not invite other guests to attend a party if there is hosting of drinks or food involved. If you would like someone included, ask the host before five days prior if all the invitations have been sent. If your invitation indicates a guest, bring no more than one guest, and let the host know his/her name prior to arriving at the event. (The exception to this guideline is if there is a pay-as-you-go happy hour event that is not at someone's home, and/or if the host has indicated "the more the merrier" on the invitation.)
What happens if something unexpected comes up in the five days prior to the event or even the day of the event? Make an effort to phone the host as soon as you know you cannot attend (getting a more exotic offer is not a reason not to attend...ethics and decency should play into accepting an invitation). When you reach the host, do not bog him or her down with your story. Simply be brief, ask forgiveness and offer to pay for your portion of the festivities. Yes, you have committed and now you are backing out, so plan to provide relief to the host. Often the host will not accept payment. Send a note within the week and a small gift if the event was being catered. Flowers are a welcomed surprise and thoughtful way to keep things pleasant between you. A gift is not necessary...just a great touch! Remember, the host is investing in everything from glasses to favors and food. Your being considerate of the fact that the seating and event/game counts may be off, is the least you can do!
When you do attend an event for which you have RSVP'd, take a small token of your appreciation, like a bottle of wine, spirits, or candle. Host gifts are wonderful and many a host loves to show them off in their home for it shows kindness and enjoyment and reminds them that people recognize them for opening their home. A host gift is not necessary, though. A call or note the next day will work as a close second for giving thanks to the host. Regardless of what you do, give thanks...and do not ask for a house tour if you are at the host home. Remember he/she has been working on the event...let him/her offer if they like. For all we know as the guest, one room became the "catch all" if you will, and the last thing the composed host should be put in a position to do is to have to explain the closed door to a room!
If you are hosting a party where you are providing food or drink...or both, I suggest including an RSVP to be written on an invitation or in a Social Media Invitation and do not text, or simply email an invitation. When the RSVP is noted, state a firm date for the responses. If you find many people hedge for a better offer, an opportunity, a child's possible event taking priority, then, when making your reminder calls (preferred over emails, but emails are okay...minimally do some sort of reminder or confirmation), just let people know at that three-to-five days prior period that while you would love to have them there, you'll put them as a no for this event and perhaps the next time scheduling will work out better. Do not accept a maybe only a few days out. While you may have enough food and drink, it sets the stage for repeated behavior by that person...and sets the example for far too many more!
So, having taken all this in, remember, the next time you see RSVP on an invitation you receive, do just that, Réspondez S'il Vous Plait, promptly and respect the courtesy and you make it a commitment to be a spectacular party/event!
Wednesday, February 15, 2017
Cancellation Etiquette
While most of us would like to not ever have to cancel on plans, it is going to happen that life, other people, timing and priorities may keep you from being able to attend something for which you originally sent a yes RSVP.
In those instances, consider the planner, organizer and/or host, and please do all of the following:
1) Call the person before the event to ask for forgiveness for changing plans, and wish the planner, organizer and/or host the best on the event (without sharing your drama).
2) Email and/or text the person before the event to ask for forgiveness for changing plans, and wish the planner, organizer and/or host the best on the event (without sharing your drama).
3) Call the person after the event to check in and find out how the event went. Thank the planner, organizer and/or host for the invitation to the event (without sharing your drama).
4) Text or email the person after the event to check in and find out how the event went. Thank the planner, organizer and/or host for the invitation to the event (without sharing your drama).
Move on, and ensure the conversation and focus is on appreciation and not complaint. (And then, make every effort not to have to cancel again!)
In those instances, consider the planner, organizer and/or host, and please do all of the following:
1) Call the person before the event to ask for forgiveness for changing plans, and wish the planner, organizer and/or host the best on the event (without sharing your drama).
2) Email and/or text the person before the event to ask for forgiveness for changing plans, and wish the planner, organizer and/or host the best on the event (without sharing your drama).
3) Call the person after the event to check in and find out how the event went. Thank the planner, organizer and/or host for the invitation to the event (without sharing your drama).
4) Text or email the person after the event to check in and find out how the event went. Thank the planner, organizer and/or host for the invitation to the event (without sharing your drama).
Move on, and ensure the conversation and focus is on appreciation and not complaint. (And then, make every effort not to have to cancel again!)
Friday, November 13, 2015
Savvy RSVPs & Invitee Niceties
"Gratitude is the fairest blossom which springs from the soul."
~ Henry Ward Beecher
American Congregationalist clergyman, social reformer, and speaker.
(1813 - 1887)
While it may seem like a very full time of the year, there are many events and opportunities to be savvy, kind, and considerate through your RSVPs, and subsequent "ways to be".
RSVP is French, and it stands for répondez s'il vous plaît. It translates to "please respond", so please do. That, alone, would be an improvement on what many do, which is ignore an invitation. In addition, here are some guidelines for being a thoughtful invitee:
1) Please respond YES or NO (no "maybe" replies, or "I'll try to swing by" comments) by the RSVP deadline.
2) Thank the host for being included, regardless of your reply, and resist saying things like "I'm so busy, but I'll so this" if you are going, and "I'm so busy, I just can't" if you are not going. Busy is but an explanation or insight, rather just filler.
3) Put the event and address in your calendar (phone, paper, or whatever works for you).
4) Review the invitation for any specifics such as items to bring, theme, or directions on parking.
5) Stick with your RSVP, and if something changes after the RSVP deadline that you were a YES for, call, don't text or email, the host to let him or her know of your change and offer to pay for what was being provided based on your RSVP. If something changes and you can now attend, ask, don't tell, the host, that if it is appropriate, you would like to please attend, and await a response. Offer to pay for any changes that s/he may incur due to your tardy reply.
6) Arrive when noted in the invitation, and if you arrive early, just wait in your car, and relax or get that quick call in, as everything may not be ready for guests if it is before the start time.
7) Provide a host/hostess gift with your return label on the packaging (for wine, it works great on the back of the bottle).
8) Have a great time within the theme of the party.
9) Leave while you are still having fun, and within the time frame of the party invitation.
10) Send a thank you note to the host within a week sharing something special about the host or the party with gratitude.
By being a considerate, engaged attendee, you are likely to enjoy yourself, show appreciation, and make the event something to remember! Additionally, you will likely get invited back, as your sincerity and kindness will be seen, heard and felt!
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