Keeping the HAPPY in Happy Holidays

Learn to enjoy every minute of your life. Be happy now. Don't wait for something outside of yourself to make you happy in the future. Think how really precious is the time you have to spend, whether it's at work or with your family. Every minute should be enjoyed and savored.

~ Earl Nightingale

Many have opinions on saying "Merry Christmas", "Happy Hanukkah" and "Happy Holidays", and that is up to each individual to share and say what is in their heart and on their mind depending on the timing and situation.

It reminds me of being wished "Happy Mother's Day" as a person with only four-legged "children", I say "Thank you", as it still is good to be happy on any day, and what the heck, I'll gladly take the well-wishes on such a special day. It's tough to get me to fight off an upbeat message meant with good cheer!

Anyway, that is not what this tip is about, and it is not a religious take on any of these wonderful comments and wishes, rather this is about how to keep (or bring, if it seems like it hasn't been there) the HAPPY in the holidays and the holiday season.

Please consider the following for your own version of HAPPY holidays:

H - Have awareness of the fact that traditions are simply obligations in disguise if you don't want to do them and that it is okay to change what happens this year

A - Appreciate what is being done around you and who is making time to be with you rather than being annoyed with what hasn't happened or who is not around (and share that appreciation freely and often)

P - Plan time for rest so that your time celebrating is really the best it can be, and so that the experiences are engaging over draining you

P - Prepare yourself for someone or something not acting or responding how you thought they would

Y - Yield to nobody if you really want to do something, as doing something alone can be enjoyable in a new, unexpected way

Instead of holding your breath for something to not go wrong, or getting through a gathering, this keeping the HAPPY in the holidays means you come from gratitude with a positive attitude to be there, and be glad for the opportunities this month!

#ProfessionalDevemopment #PersonalDevelopment #PerformanceCoaching #Kind #OneBeanerPerformanceCoach #LivingKindly #KindnessIsMyOwnSuperpower #Kindness #CoachsCorner #WorkdayWakeUp

Debbie@DebbieLundberg.com 813.494.4438 DebbieLundberg.com

Lessons Learned: Tales from Travels To and Fro!

While travel may never be the same as it was before March of 2020, travel is available, and it has been good to be able to travel personally, and it has been wonderful to get to travel for business!

With masks and mandates, here are some lessons learned:

1) Arrive early, as many more people are traveling domestically than seemed to have been doing so in 2019 and previously, and with many getting TSA Pre-Check, even those lines can be the fullest they've ever been!

2) Consider that most people are uncomfortable in their masks and feel encumbered, so high patience and a high tolerance for others is not mandatory, yet it will likely serve your nerves and experience well. On a similar note, please make sure your mask fits, smells good, and is something you will not be fussing with for hours, as your comfort impacts your mood and your mood affects your communication effectiveness!

3) Earbuds and sound-canceling anything(s) are highly recommended, as some people think having their videos on without their sound being only sent to them is okay, and others feel compelled to be vocal about how unhappy they are in their mask, and still, others simply have to speak more loudly to convey their message through their mask

4) Take food and buy non-alcoholic drinks for the flight, and please skip the heavy garlic and onions, as that take-on food can be very lasting on odor for the rest of us!

Remember, you are getting to travel, and that is progress in perspective/comparison to the recent past, and with that consideration, whatever is happening is temporary, and fortunately, you'll be where you are going (home or elsewhere) soon enough with being little worse for wear, if you embrace these lessons learned while en route!

Staying Positive in the Face of Negativity (and during the extended holiday season)

Be happy with what you have and are, be generous with both, and you won't have to hunt for happiness.

~ William E. Gladstone

If you will consider, and even embrace the idea that the American HOLIDAY SEASON is from October 15th - February 15th, then you may start to be excited, anticipatory, stressed, concerned, or all of these all at once!

The reason for that is our expectations and anticipation of the holidays often falls short of reality, and yet each year, hope springs that desire to have the perfect holiday season, and stressors and worry start working in the background, and even come to the forefront during what is supposed to be a celebratory block of months, clouding the bright lights with complaints and disappointment!

While I get asked about facing negativity at all times of the year, during the next four months, typically, those inquiries increase. So, here are some ways to avoid negativity as you stay positive moving through the rest of the year:

Start the day with a smile at the sound of your alarm (I do it - felt corny when this came to my mind as a new habit, and now, it works to lift my face and energy)

Associate feet hitting the ground with gratitude, in other words, state internally, if others are sleeping, and externally, if you won't wake up someone else, something for which you are grateful

Have a routine that serves you well to start the day strong (I do 100 push-ups)

Keep rest, nourishment, movement, and mindset in focus (this is a talk I give often, and just spoke of it for the Dress for Success Ronda Shear Pajama Party)

Assess your habits for being well-serving, neutral, and not-well-serving in order to push toward well-serving habits

Engage with people and organizations that are optimistically realistic or realistically optimistic, and not those with toxic negativity, martyrs, or toxic positivity

Check in to ensure you are doing YOUR best, and not competing with others, rather solely with yourself that day with what you have then, and go from there

Limit your news and exposure, not to be uninformed, rather to be aware and tempered for the way it impacts you

Take action based on what you learn and can contribute rather than see what you can't do

Be present, and when you get distracted, weigh the cost of distraction versus the value of "being there"

If you set yourself up for success, it does not mean every day will be flawless, and certainly not perfect, rather, you will care to be aware, and you will then dare to spare yourself from excessive and unnecessary negativity!

12 YAYS of the Holidays!

While you may or may not have a lot of traditions in the past, it's likely that each of them is coming to mind this year, in 2020, as many of us have a bit more time on our hands or reflection in our hearts as we grow close to turning the calendar to a new year once again.

Situations, face coverings, gatherings, and more, are all different, and yet, all year, my hashtag #KindnessNeedNotBeQuarantined has been my guide through any change, setback, surprise, and/or disappointment regarding what was planned versus reality. It has made for some spectacular memories, including new ways of contributing, donating a kidney, and playing Pebble Beach with some "new friends".

In that light, hearing many people are bummed about what they "can't" do this year, let's instead focus on what we can do, and then...DO IT! To assist with those creative tweaks to past activities, and perhaps add some new ones, too, here's my list of the 12 YAYS of the Holidays:

1 - Volunteer. When you are off/down, focusing on others is one of the best ways to get back in touch with yourself. In a physically distanced way, you can get food or goods to those in need. For that, we chose Metropolitan Ministries. Or, go to a store and buy clothes and other items to donate off their sale rack. We went to a store and asked them to let us know what was left on the last day of their sale, bought everything, and will donate the remaining dresses to Dress for Success.

2 - Schedule a video toast with friends for 15-30 minutes where you share what you are thankful for while you offer good cheer. We started this with my Aunt and Uncle on Thanksgiving, and it was a ball. We will do it again on Christmas (a 5 hour time difference doesn't stop us!)! And, it could be cheers with coffee, water, or a drink - it's the cheers that matters, not as much what you cheer with!

3 - Go out in the area/neighborhood in your car, or on foot, over a few nights, and create a video of the most spectacular lights you see to share on social media, or as a tribute to those who hang the lights.

4 - Find out what your friends/family have as a favorite charity, and make a donation of $1 for each year you have known that person in their name/honor. Optionally, instead of lunch or dinner with someone, mask up and get some angels from an angel tree, or the needs of families from a food bank or local community center, and instead of buying each other gifts, spend the money on those in need and let that be your gifts to one another, too. My girlfriend, Christine, and I, have been doing this for a decade. Another thought is buying a star or a brick with a special memory highlighted as the gift of giving that star or brick to the recipient. The Chi Chi Rodriguez Foundation will benefit from a brick bought by us this year. If it's more about being outside, run a mile for each year you have known someone while on a call with your earbuds in to reminisce about the miles covered. Let the walk or run be the gift to one another!

5 - Text a video greeting to those you'd normally see at parties and gatherings with a special, personal hello and happy holiday greeting for each of them (hold your phone horizontally, not vertically). If they sent you a gift, hold it up so they can see you and that special gift! That is something in addition to a personal card with a note and/or a photo of you with/using the gift they gave you! If a picture is worth a thousand words, imagine how much you can "say" with a video or photo card!?!?

6 - Decorate a small tree or menorah with lottery tickets, and auction it off with your friends and family to raise money for a charity, and then mail or deliver the prize to the highest bidder (the "winning" may keep going!)!

7 - Buy mugs, wrapped stick candy, and flowers at the grocery store, and arrange them for a surprise "leave" at the door for local friends and family, and for those at a distance, send a photo card with the arrangement on the front with flower seeds inside for planting. You can give these to strangers by leaving them on their doorstep. Similarly, you can pay for someone's layaway or groceries or something else (pay it forward).

8 - Buy items and/or write letters/cards for deployed military members, and share your gratitude for their service with holiday cheer. We made a video for the 927th Air Refueling Wing with other Honorary Commanders and gave gift cards for the enlisted Airmen's families.

9 - Order a "12 Days" kit for a girl, boy, man or woman, and no matter what day you start, open a gift each day to have your very own 12 Days of Holidays. I ordered 12 pairs of holiday socks for Michael and an ULTA 12-gift package for me. We are wearing/using the items each day to ensure we really appreciate the "gift".

10 - Host a holiday movie streaming watch party where everyone has the same snacks (you can mail them or have Amazon or UberEats deliver as a surprise). Optional, you can host an ugly sweater contest by people posting a video to your group and then announcing the winner in a Video session (optional, have people make cookies that match their sweater theme for bonus points). Or, have a holiday charades session virtually or a Virtual Lip Sync Battle where you project to your TV. Take these events outside the virtual office for a change of pace and location. Another way is a wine and cookie, or coffee and cookie pairing where everyone has the items ahead of time, too. I do these for corporate fun, and have been having a good time delivering cheer these past two months!

11 - If you have ever held a progressive dinner or gone on a "pub crawl", recreate that in your home by decorating and naming each room, and having different courses, drinks or both, in that area. Take photos like you would if you were out. If you do not want to make the food, have UberEats or DoorDash or another service deliver food every 30-45 minutes for pacing. They leave them at the door, and that would be your incentive to go to the next stop! Here are some photos of our Team Lundberg 2-person pub-crawl from this weekend: https://www.facebook.com/DebbieLundberg

12 - Take some fun photos throughout the month, and make a Happy New Year bloopers card with silly shots to bring smiles to those who receive them as you look forward to 2021.

Surely there are many, many more! These are the 12 we are implementing, and no matter what, there will be fun, memories made...perhaps even some new traditions created, and absolutely a month worth remembering!

Getting Back on Track Post-Holidays

With the trees and menorahs put away, and the Happy New Year greetings capturing our energy and interest, the holiday hangover can be real!

 

So, how do you get back on track after the holidays, or any break? Please consider these four steps to regaining focus, purpose and enthusiasm for what you are going to accomplish:

1. Make a list of all your previous accomplishments and a list of things for which you are grateful
2. Clean/clear out your space – whether that be physical or electronic – make that a priority, as a clean space is a productive space
3. Make a list of goals and stretch goals that are specific and measurable with time frames tied to the accomplishments without the words more, better, less, etc, as this is about being accountable to success not just subjective hopes
4. Calendar activities that will get you to results and plan time for reflection and unexpected happenings, and follow your calendar as a guide to empower and not a list to restrict. Build in rewards for your accomplishments in order to feel and see the success.

 

When you are distracted or down, go back to the lists and calendar and keep moving forward based on previous wins as you plan for continued growth!

Give the Gift of GRACE

T'is the season for gifts, and good time...and for some awkward moments, if we are not mindful, and full of grace.

Giving the gift of GRACE means:

G - Giving people an opportunity to speak and/or share

R - Resist correcting people unless there will be an error

A - Acknowledging kindness and even intentions with "Thank you"

C - Changing topics when people make others feel uncomfortable

E - Excusing odd behaviors

While you may feel slighted or hurt or left out for a moment, in the end you will feel light, right, and good about how you handled yourself. Giving the gift of GRACE is a gift that keeps giving to others and gives you the opportunity to know you did what was best for you, for others, and for the situation!

Honing In on HOLIDAY Happiness

"Sharing the holiday with other people, and feeling that you're giving of yourself, gets you past all the commercialism." 
~ Caroline Kennedy

American author, attorney, and diplomat who served as the United States Ambassador to Japan from 2013 to 2017.

(b. 1957)

Honing In on HOLIDAY Happiness

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year! Or is it? That, is up to you.  Check out the HOLIDAY options below...
Are you on the Grinch-less side, or are you Scrooge-full?  You can move from one to the other with your attitude, your words, your actions and your responses. While some button-pushing may push you in a direction you don't enjoy, pull yourself back to being a Grinch-less, holiday-happy person...whatever you celebrate! Check in on your HOLIDAY spirit below, and choose well!
Are you Grinch-less:

• Happy
• Opportunity-seeker
• Loving life with cheer
• Immersed in gratitude
• Dedicated to joy
• Available for fun
• Yearning for more

Or are you Scrooge-full:

• Hectic
• Overscheduled non-sleeper
• Longing to hide
• Inclined to cop a ‘tude
• Desperate for a drink
• Avidly avoiding others
• Yelling in stores

And, when you decide to be less Scrooge-full, and more joy-filled, you find the Grinches move away from you more and more, for you have less and less in common! Happy Holidays, and make the most of all of the season!

Commitments Vs. Resolutions

"When you do something with a lot of honesty, appetite and commitment, the input reflects in the output."

~ A. R. Rahman

Allah-Rakha Rahman is an Indian composer, singer-songwriter, music producer, musician and philanthropist.

(b. 1967)

As the festivities of many holidays are in the recent past, and the lure of the New Year in the near future, it is often tempting to start thinking about resolutions.

While it is good to resolve to make changes, a New Year's resolution is too often similar to "I'll try". It is well intended, and unfortunately, it falls flat - without action, or without consistent follow-through. The idea, concept, and time of year are not what makes things new in the year for you, rather it is the commitment to both sticking with well-serving habits and altering those that are not, is what will likely resonate, and eventually lead to actions and results!

If you would, please consider making a commitment to some specific target(s) now, or in the New Year, or any time you deem change something you desire. Where a resolution may sound like "I'll work out more", or "I'll eat better", these are not specific and measurable. On the contrary, making a commitment means stating, and sharing "I am committed to working out 3-4 times per week for 20-40 minutes each session in order to support my health and appearance", or "I am committed to eating clean 5-6 days per week with 1-2 days of enjoying indulgences in order to look and feel fit and strong".

So, should you want to make a resolution, make it that you resolve to commit, take actions to support it, and realize your targets/goals in 2016...and beyond!

Savvy RSVPs & Invitee Niceties

"Gratitude is the fairest blossom which springs from the soul."

~ Henry Ward Beecher

American Congregationalist clergyman, social reformer, and speaker.

(1813 - 1887)

While it may seem like a very full time of the year, there are many events and opportunities to be savvy, kind, and considerate through your RSVPs, and subsequent "ways to be".

RSVP is French, and it stands for répondez s'il vous plaît. It translates to "please respond", so please do. That, alone, would be an improvement on what many do, which is ignore an invitation. In addition, here are some guidelines for being a thoughtful invitee:

1) Please respond YES or NO (no "maybe" replies, or "I'll try to swing by" comments) by the RSVP deadline.
2) Thank the host for being included, regardless of your reply, and resist saying things like "I'm so busy, but I'll so this" if you are going, and "I'm so busy, I just can't" if you are not going. Busy is but an explanation or insight, rather just filler.
3) Put the event and address in your calendar (phone, paper, or whatever works for you).
4) Review the invitation for any specifics such as items to bring, theme, or directions on parking.
5) Stick with your RSVP, and if something changes after the RSVP deadline that you were a YES for, call, don't text or email, the host to let him or her know of your change and offer to pay for what was being provided based on your RSVP. If something changes and you can now attend, ask, don't tell, the host, that if it is appropriate, you would like to please attend, and await a response. Offer to pay for any changes that s/he may incur due to your tardy reply.
6) Arrive when noted in the invitation, and if you arrive early, just wait in your car, and relax or get that quick call in, as everything may not be ready for guests if it is before the start time.
7) Provide a host/hostess gift with your return label on the packaging (for wine, it works great on the back of the bottle).
8) Have a great time within the theme of the party.
9) Leave while you are still having fun, and within the time frame of the party invitation.
10) Send a thank you note to the host within a week sharing something special about the host or the party with gratitude.

By being a considerate, engaged attendee, you are likely to enjoy yourself, show appreciation, and make the event something to remember! Additionally, you will likely get invited back, as your sincerity and kindness will be seen, heard and felt!

The Power of a BYE List

Our thoughts create our reality - where we put our focus is where we tend to go."


- Peter McWilliams, writer and self-publisher of best-selling self-help books (1949-2000)

The invitations are aleady coming. Turkeys are being bought. Families are preparing for "that" uncle or "that" aunt who does "such-and-such" each year during the holidays. Wow, the holidays are nearly here!

Before you get too caught up in the idea of stuffing and shopping, please consider creating a BYE list. This BYE list will include all you want to do
Before
Year
End

If you make a list of events, people, experiences, and travels, you can decide what is realistic for the amount of time you have before you are ringing in 2012. For the BYE list, start and finish it within 48 hours, and ask anyone with whom you spend a lot of time (spouse, family, friend) to do the same. After you complete it, prioritize those items on the list, and meet with anyone else you asked to make the BYE list. In doing this, you will learn about you, learn about the other person/people, and you can decide what you will do together and what you will do alone or with other people. From there, get out your calendars (phones/iPads), and make the commitment to what you want to do so that you are not standing somewhere on New Year's Eve wishing "if I only had", and excusing it with "but the holidays were so busy".

Go enjoy the things on your list, and make the most of the next 50+ days before 2011 has gone BYE!

Making the Most of Meeting In-Laws!

"I awoke this morning with devout thanksgiving for my friends, the old and the new." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Making the Most of Meeting In-Laws!

While I love my in-laws, and am very fortunate to have the mother-in-law and fathers-in-law, as well as the brothers-in-law and sisters-in-law I do have, some people are just about to meet their future in-laws or new in-laws for the first time. Whether you have met them before, or are starting "anew", consider these 10 steps to in-law enjoyment at the holidays:

1. Before you go, decide it is going to be a good time. Envision it, and expect good things!
2. Prior to heading out, ask your partner for any “hot topics” or “out of bounds issues” to avoid, and ask for family members’ interests and check them out before arriving.
3. Take a family gift like a board game.
4. Be more about being interested than being interesting, and ask questions for interest and not interrogation.
5. Find something, one thing minimally, that you like about each person as soon as you meet each of them.
6. Share a heart-felt compliment with any or each member of the family.
7. Instead of offering to “help”, offer to do something specific, so rather than stating “how may I help”, say “How about I set the table?”, so they see action, versus courtesy.
8. Thank them for hosting and send a thank you note in the mail within the week.
9. At all times, remember, these people produced your partner, so like/love them for that regardless…you would not have your partner without his or her family, so keep the perspective!
10. Smile, be true to you, sincere in your thoughts and actions, and make it a great time!