“And how they take one in, with their manners and their mock wistfulness and gentleness.”
~ D.H. Lawrence, Lady Chatterley's Lover
Ever felt duped?
If you feel a sense of being made a fool, you may want to check in with yourself with these 4 questions/considerations in order to move through the situation, and avoid that DUPE feeling in the future:
1) D - Did I have a feeling about this before? (YES, then trust yourself, NO, then check in on paying attention to signs). And then do yourself a favor, and spend little time explaining or rationalizing what you missed, and spend your energy on what you have now!
2) U - Understanding what is happening now, would I have done anything differently to change the outcome (If time travel were possible)?
3) P - Pride plays a factor in accepting someone took advantage of you, so ensure you do not let pride get in the way of clearly assessing what you missed, rather than being tempted to blame others for what they did (blame gets you nowhere).
4) E - Ensure you know that how others treat you is a reflection of their integrity (or lack thereof), and instead of asking "Why me?", ask "What can I do differently for me?", and "How can I keep people like this out of my circle of trust in order to grow personally & professionally"?
You are not a dope or a dupe when you have been "played", rather you were a player in a game you likely did not register to play!
As you move through this situation, remove or distance the people who were a part of it, address it with them if you believe they were unintentional, and completely skip that part if you believe it will lead to arguing or them being further cruel in their smallness in an attempt to gain what they may have thought of as a big win by putting you in a bad place.
The temptation is often to confront someone when they have duped us, yet the leader says and believes "everyone has the right to feel as they do, and while I am feeling hurt and surprised, I also know I get to move forward and learn" where engaging further with the culprits will likely go nowhere, or worse, backward!
Being duped means you were trustworthy of someone who did not deserve your trust. It does not mean you cannot trust again or learn from your mistakes in judgment.
So, if you, like me, have been duped by colleagues or presumed friends, use your kindness toward yourself, exercise your emotional intelligence, take that experience and turn it into a badge of courage for facing yourself and your role in it, not being bitter or angry, not complaining, and coming through on the other side empowered; stronger and resilient, even if there is a little scar there!
#DontBeDuped #Leadership #Duped #Leadership #Kind #1KindAct #Growth #EmotionalIntelligence
When you KNOW your plan &
you KNOW your alternatives &
you KNOW your resilience,
YOU KNOW YOU ARE POSITIVELY GETTING THROUGH WHATEVER YOU FACE!
When you have NO plan &
and NO alternatives &
no resilience,
YOU HAVE NO WAY OF POSITIVELY GETTING THROUGH WHATEVER YOU FACE!
#ProfessionalDevelopment #PersonalDevelopment #Kind #EmotionalIntelligence #Change
#PerformanceCoaching #OneBeanerPerformanceCoach #LivingKindly #Choose #Kindness #CoachsCorner #Resilience #HaveAPlan #Positivity
#WorkdayWakeUp
Debbie@DebbieLundberg.com 813.494.4438 DebbieLundberg.com
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