Being Civil & Encouraging Civility

"Civility costs nothing, and buys everything." 

~ Mary Wortley Montagu

Lady Mary Wortley Montagu was an English aristocrat, letter writer and poet. Lady Mary is today chiefly remembered for her letters, particularly her letters from travels to the Ottoman Empire.

 (1690 - 1782)

The word "civility" is not used often, and yet civility isn't dated. Civility isn't lost. Civility is within us. Civility is an opportunity to enhance communication, behaviors, and relationships. Civility isn't just manners.
Civility is about respect...for others and for yourself.

What is "civility"? Civility is often defined as something similar to "polite, reasonable, honest, and respectful behavior". How is that challenging to embrace, inspire and implement?

Being civil is as simple as the use of "please", "thank you", "you are welcome", and "please forgive me". Civility means being sincere, vulnerable, and able to assess people and situations for the people and the situations instead of your own perspective solely. Civility is considering other's points of view, responding instead of reacting, honoring and appreciating time, and even the simplicity of using names and greetings in person, on the phone, and in emails. Civil actions lead to civility in relationships.

Be civil to yourself. How we treat others is a reflection of how we feel about ourselves. Civility starts within, and is executed without concern for positioning or personal outcomes. Encouraging civility means recognizing and appreciating it in others, speaking about those actions, and sharing the benefits of civil engagements. Leading by example consistently, with kindness and direction, thoughtfulness and consideration, is the way to remind yourself, and others, that civility is not lost, it is found in our choices each and every day!

Common Sense Isn't So Common

Be mindful of using that familiar expression "It's just common sense" personally and professionally, as this comment is usually said, or exclaimed, after someone does something incorrectly. When that action is incorrect to him or her, letting that person know "It's common sense" does not endear the person to you, comfort that person, or enhance your relationship.

We typically use the exasperation "It's common sense" when we get it.

Common sense is neither common, nor sensible, to the person who doesn't get it.

While you may think it, wish it, or hope things were both common and sensible to others, refraining from speaking it will assist you in getting to common ground rather than attempting to force sense!