This Month's Article: Building Trust

"Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with important matters."
~ Albert Einstein

"Trust me!"

How many times have you either heard that or said that to someone else?

While those words are short and simple, the act of fully engaging in trust is long and complicated...yet it can be achieved!

Trust is defined as the ability to state what will be done, commit to a time to complete it, and then, deliver to that agreement. And, trust is lacking when people are iffy, distant, non-committal, and/or do not do what they say they'd do when they said they'd get it done. 

When there is low trust, you have slow speed and high costs. still, when you have high trust, you work in a world of rapid speed and low cost. According to JSA, LLC, the keys trust issues stem from baggage, personalities, culture, and myths. My take on on addressing them include remembering:

• Baggage–people have other experiences
• Personalities–consider DiSC and EI
• Culture–no threats, gossip, badmouthing
• Myths–what hasn’t been addressed?

Keeping all of this in mind, trust is about communication AND respect , and since open communication builds trusting relationships, then you can appreciate that lack of communication creates doubt and concern.

It's important to build trust internally with sharing things such as planned days off, getting agreement, how performance management is communicated, and it is important to build trust externally by checking in on others, getting agreement, and aligning what success looks like for all involved.

While building trust takes time, trust is lost in an instant, and rebuilding trust takes far longer, if ever to regain, so If you think you don’t have time to explain something fully or check in with someone, then when will have time to undo the damages from something being done incorrectly and/or them not having faith in you? If it hasn't been clear, a huge part of trust is TRUSTING YOURSELF! So, do trust:

• That you are capable
• That is is okay to ask for assistance
• That if your heart/head/gut tell you there's a problem, do inquire and/or act on it

Some trust DOs and DON'Ts are:

• DO meet w/the team when you ahve any new additions, don't simply let people figure it out
• DO use people's names, don't use "hey" or "dude"
• DO check in on other's impressions, don't rest on your laurels or figue your past repuration is enough
• DO ask, listen, and honor how people like to receive communication and be coached, don't assume or only share the way you like to receive communication or be coached
• DO admit mistakes, don't blame others
• DO be humble, don't be bossy or cocky
• DO lead people and manage process, don't attempt to manage people and lead process
• DO say “I don’t know, and I'll get back to you by TIME/DATE", don't guess or attempt to bluff your way through
• DO ask "What, if anything have I said or done or not said or done that is keeping us from fully engaging", don't be defensive when you hear feedback, even if it sounds like criticism
• DO start over with people by asking for a fresh start, don't keep trying to win over people by ignoring past situations
• DO communicate (especially when money is involved) directly, don't ignore or hope things will simply pass

By being sincere and earnest in your effort, knowing you are not perfect, and that neither are others, you can establish trust and then build on that foundation!

#DoYourBest #ProfessionalDevelopment #PersonalDevelopment #KIND #Leadership #EmotionalIntelligence #PerformanceCoaching #Growth

Four Keys to Public Speaking Success!

People say “Fake it ‘til you make it,” that “You’ll get better at presenting by presenting,” to “Picture everyone in the audience naked, or look over their heads, to calm your nerves,” and “When you practice, it sounds scripted, so just shoot from the hip to sound real,” and yet these untruths are part of what makes the idea of public speaking the no. 1 fear for Americans.

Public speaking is not the problem. It’s not the issue. How public speaking is perceived and how it is incorrectly “taught” are a couple of the challenges with people being successful presenting ideas, products, and even themselves.

In the face of all this presentation confusion, how do we increase our presentation prowess? It’s by overcoming all that ill-advised counsel with truths and practical, useful tips that are readily implementable. The four keys to presenting beyond public speaking fears and misperceptions are:

1)  Be an expert on the topic, and don’t be concerned if other experts are there too. It’s a presentation, not a competition.

2) Put the audience first by setting a goal for them, about them.

3) Get out of your own way by being present and not being concerned about how you look, sound, or the day you had before presenting, or what you have going on after presenting.

4) Come from a place of gratitude, with thoughts and comments of “I get to present today at 1:00 p.m. on our first quarter 2019 outlook” rather than “I have to speak on the 2019 number later today.”

About those lies…here are the truths:

Specifically, resist “faking it ‘til you make it” by focusing on making it about what you are doing until you make it to the next step, and onto the next step, and ultimately to the subsequent results. Make it about sharing and learning, and then you don’t have to fake your interest or your effort.

Let go of the notion that you’ll get better at speaking by speaking. Sadly, you will simply get used to being average, at best, if you do not change how you are speaking. You will get comfortable speaking, and yet average and comfortable are not likely huge draws for audiences. How you improve speaking is by engaging the audience, keeping your ego out of your efforts and off the stage. When you have that all set, you can let your personality shine and your persuasiveness connect.

#IHatePublicSpeaking #PublicSpeaking #ProfessionalDevelopment #PersonalDevelopment

Stop Should-ing All Over Yourself!

No matter what the time of year, it is often tempting to say "Oh, I should..." when there is something to be done that is different than what is being done at that time. This is what I (and others) call "Should-ing all over yourself". And, as you can likely tell, that is not a recommended action!

While the words, "I should" seem innocent, they are harmful and not helpful.

Instead of "Should-ing" all over yourself, which is putting yourself down, and putting yourself in a place of repression and/or obligation and "need", put yourself in a place of empowerment and action by saying things like "Since I want to be on time, I am going to leave now", or "In order to feel great tomorrow, I am going to go to bed now".

Start strong and end strong with the words you choose and the actions you take...with no shoulds or should haves in your way!

Common Sense Isn't So Common

Be mindful of using that familiar expression "It's just common sense" personally and professionally, as this comment is usually said, or exclaimed, after someone does something incorrectly. When that action is incorrect to him or her, letting that person know "It's common sense" does not endear the person to you, comfort that person, or enhance your relationship.

We typically use the exasperation "It's common sense" when we get it.

Common sense is neither common, nor sensible, to the person who doesn't get it.

While you may think it, wish it, or hope things were both common and sensible to others, refraining from speaking it will assist you in getting to common ground rather than attempting to force sense!

Maximize Your Moxumility

"You know more than you think you know, just as you know less than you want to know." - Oscar Wilde, Irish Poet, Novelist, Dramatist and Critic, 1854-1900

MoxumilityTM is a word I have trademarked to show, express and encourage the idea of combining moxie with humility. While it is super to have the confidence (the moxie) it is also well-serving to know there is more to learn, experience and appreciate (the humility). Here are my top 10 ways to Maximize Your Moxumility. Additionally, here's a link to a 28-minute talk where I shared this as well: http://youtu.be/c23pkMRH1jE 10 - Be the expert in your space for your size, clients & offerings. 9 - Be trusting to be trustworthy. 8 - Be responsive instead of reactionary. 7 - Be contagious. 6 - Be grateful instead of just full of "great"s. 5 - Be absolutely, positively addicted to the truth! 4 - Be more interested in others than interesting to others. 3 - Be about "What?" and/or "How?" over "Why?". 2 - Be the product, and be the value. 1 - Be an intentional example that others can sample. Whether it is the video, or just the quick summary, here's hoping this tip reminds you of your moxie and humility! Thank you, and make the most of your moxumility!

Thinking Before Speaking?

“Love and doubt have never been on speaking terms.”~ Kahlil Gibran

Many people say “think before you speak”, but what is it that we should be thinking? Perhaps you’ll think about:

1. Staying true to yourself
2. Considering the value of announcing your view...is it for sharing, growing or learning, or is it just for shock value or to “be talking”3. Knowing your audience
4. Deciding if what you said were a headline with your name and photo on the front page of every newspaper and website, would you still say it5. Being prepared to accept the consequences of your actions/ideas/words (good or bad)

If all those are in check, then you will likely not be surprised by the responses or backpedaling from your words later.

Learning is FUNdamental

As I remember the Public Service Announcements, PSAs, that stated Reading is Fundamental, I alter it slightly in my mind to Learning is FUNdamental.

It seems while many kids think "I have to go to school Monday", a lot of adults are thirsty for learning, and yet, once out of school, is there enough formal learning provided for them?

Speaking with a group of people at the Tampa Convention Center today, I realized that the professionals in attendance wanted to be there on a beautiful Saturday...yes, to enhance their work, yes, for the tools, and yes, to have some fun.

And fun we had! Learning is FUNdamental, and when each growth opportunity occurs, remember it is learning, and seek/create the FUN in it! Embrace the FUN and the fundamental is enjoyable and the learning is inevitable!