LESSONs LEARNED: Being Married to a 50-something!

Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young. The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young. 

~ Henry Ford

It feels like it wasn't all that long ago that I was thinking and likely saying "God, 40 is so old" and/or something like "Can you imagine what it would be like to be married to someone in their 50's - eeeewww!!!". While you may think that is shameful that I share that, and you have the right to, I admit having those thoughts. Back then, I expressed most thoughts, so it's fair to imagine yes, I said them out loud. I can even recall my girlfriends and me giggling about it without a care in the world beyond that or the realization that we would be those ages someday if we were fortunate!

Believe me, the first time I was engaged (yes, I was engaged three times before getting engaged and going through with the wedding to my husband, Michael), I never thought being married to someone in their 40's would or could be similar in the type of fun and romance and intrigue that being involved in my 20's would bring.

And then I hit my 30's, 40's, and now 50's!

While Michael is younger than I am, on his 50th birthday, I told him "Funny, I never anticipated being married to a 50-year-old" and then added "while having so much fun and living life fully!". So, here are my lessons learned from being married to a 50-something:

1) Age is a number. That number matters for some medical testing and otherwise, it's a number. You do the math!

2) Attitude makes a huge difference in whether someone acts in thoughts and motions to seem old or not.

3) Health and well-being are keys to staying youthful in actions and approaches, activities, and adventures.

4) Aging with someone is very different from observing someone as they age.

Overall, love and age can be friends or enemies. And, while at 53, I really do feel 38, I wouldn't want to be married to anyone other than my 50-something husband, and I would not want to be any other age! Here's to being married to Michael as a 50-something for years to come and then a 60-something, a 70-something, an 80-something, and so on!

Happy July Birthday month to Michael!

#ProfessionalDevelopment #PersonalDevelopment #Kind #PerformanceCoaching #OneBeanerPerformanceCoach #LivingKindly #KindnessIsMyOwnSuperpower #Kindness 

Respect - Not from Age, but Actions

While I write a lot about "reversing the slobification of America", I do not mean it only is an issue for youth, generation X or Y or any one group, for that matter!

Respect or lack of respect are often a reflection of how you feel about yourself, and while I am happy and respectful, I do not believe that children or adults can demand respect for their age or position, rather it should follow from their actions and personal leadership.

I was at an independent living facility and was moving things (in for my Grandparents) when a woman came up and basically refused to walk around the items being moved or act friendly in any way. I was chipper and greeted her with a "Good Morning", and then she and her cat, in a baby stroller, waited in the blazing sun for me to move about 40 pounds of things so that she did not have to go around in the clean grass or down the small curb. I did not mind, but thought how sad she chose to be...poor cat, too...

The same day, less than an hour later, another woman came upon us moving with different things in the way. Again, I was chipper and greeted her with a "Good Morning", and much to my joy and pleasure, she responded in kind. When I quickly tended to moving things, she said not to worry and that she was just fine walking below. Her openness and attitude reminded me, once again, that it is all in the way we approach things.

Who do I respect? Seemingly needless to say, the second woman. I am stating it, though, just to give her double the credit for acting in a respectful way!

Believe me, I was raised to respect my elders, and approach them that way at first and look for it to continue. Respect, after all, is a two-way street...even if it is a bit crowded with a new neighbor's moving items...