For the Love of Time & Health!

 "He who has health, has hope; and he who has hope, has everything."

~ Thomas Carlyle

If you believe that health, love, and time are some of the most important things in life, if not THE most important things in life, please keep reading.

The question for us all is “Are we investing, focusing on, and truly appreciative of those most important things we have in life, and are you truly connected to your health, your love, and your time?”.

On May 22nd, I successfully moved from being diagnosed with thyroid cancer earlier this year, to being completely cancer-free. The reason to share that is for perspective for this message/tip, and to convey the optimism and the belief we can each embrace can combine to guide us to know that if we take action, we can move through things in life that challenge us, and those challenging experiences do not define us, rather they make up part of the story…part of your story!

Since time may be spent wondering what others are thinking or doing, I encourage you to spend time embracing what your thoughts do for you, and how your actions guide you.

Our health is not a happenstance. Our health is a combination of our physical, mental, and emotional being…in an effort to make it all gel into well-being. Is there something in your health that you are ignoring, rationalizing, or simply accepting that may not really be acceptable if you did deep to think about how you want to feel and function?

Love, and in particular, love of self, is not overrated, and yet it can be couched in what looks or feels like indulgences. Let your love of self not be excused. If you don’t feel that love, look to those who love you and ask them the very vulnerable question “What do you love about me?” and then seek to see and feel what they have identified – not so you take their word for it, rather to give you a base. People love you. You are loved, and by keeping that at the forefront, other choices settle in a clear focus.

So, what does this have to do with my medical situation/story, and what can you do right now about time, love, and health? 

Because I simply wanted to participate in a screening for thyroid for the doctors to get data, nodules were found. The first scan that was scheduled was canceled, and making time to get to another one became a priority. Doing that was self-care, AKA, love, and while it may seem like there is no good time to be sick or to have surgery, as surprising as the diagnosis was, selecting the soonest possible allowed my body and mind to know everything was being done after that pathology report to move to being cured. Respecting everything is not as straightforward, the decision to act each time keeps you moving ahead.

So, please take the time to invest in your health because you are surrounded by love. Schedule a preventative screening for yourself and be your own best health advocate. Is it your dental exam, a colonoscopy, that dermatology screening, a mammogram, or even an annual physical? What is it that hasn’t gotten your time and attention, your desire to feel loved in your own choices, and to prioritize your health and well-being?

Please know that when you prioritize and focus on your health, and love yourself enough, you can handle whatever comes your way, and in time, you will be through to the other side…likely stronger, definitely enriched, different for the intentional addressing of what you are experiencing!

With that, thanks to all who made the time to check in on me, walk with me, send food, and more, for the flowers and feel-good gifts of health, for your genuine friendship, and for loving me these past months with this all on my mind! Thank you, especially to my make-shift nurse, Michael, who wonderfully filled in as the guest VJ with the coach’s corner tip videos last week!

While admittedly, my world may have seemed to shrink for an instant when I received the diagnosis, because of being present and being open, with all of the personal and external support, it is clear that by sharing and caring, encouraging, and being available to answer anything you may want to ask or know, my world did not shrink, it absolutely grew. 

Cheers to the time we have and what we do with it, to the health we have, and how we protect it, and to the love we give and get, and how we grow it! 

Thank you!

#Gratitude #Reflection #LUNDBERGism #Health #Love #Time #Kind #Leadership #PersonalDevelopment #ProfessionalDevelopment

Previewing Your Content Post-Open

"I always like to look on the optimistic side of life, but I am realistic enough to know that life is a complex matter."

~ Walt Disney

People are distracted. You, as the speaker, are the leader. Remember to keep energy, stay in control, honor the audience, and set the stage!

The parts for which to prepare your talk, training, or pitch include:

1. Open

2. Preview

3. Body

4. Interaction

5. Summary

6. Close

Last month started with the OPEN, and now it is time for the PREVIEW.

The PREVIEW sets the stage for what is going to happen. It is the opportunity to:

P - Present the agenda

R - Reveal the ways to engage

E - Engage the purpose

V - Verify the time frame

I - Include others in the direction

E - Elevate the energy

W - Welcome changes, if the direction is to be tweaked

This is quick, and sounds something like this:

In the next 30 minutes, the purpose of our time together is for you to gain insights into public speaking prowess, and that will be done through the following three topics: Engaging your audience, Preparing your talk, and Delivering with impact. This is for you, about you, and you are welcome to jump in, take photos, take a break, and make the most of it all. Is there anything missed in setting the stage?"

With the PREVIEW in order, the direction will be clear and the level of engagement will be high. Expectations will be set with agreement, and then you move to the BODY (and that will be the topic for next month's tip)!

#publicspeaking #ProfessionalDevelopment #PersonalDevelopment #KIND

Lessons Learned: Grace Following Gratitude

 Nope!!! No way!! Not a chance!! 🤚

Forgetting my bandana for sweat, stepping in dog poo, and even a lady nearly violently screaming “Are you kidding??” at me when I smiled, waved, and said “Good morning!” as I passed her on a run could not AND would not keep me from being grateful to run outside and thankful our home was intact after HurricaneIan on my morning run the Saturday when we returned from evacuating in my "Please be K.I.N.D." tank top!

While I felt surprised and even shocked in the midst of the experiences, the feeling of sadness for people not being grateful for what they had, being safe following Ian, and feeling humbled by everyone south of us and on other coasts being in despair, I dug deep to learn:

• Others have the right to feel how they feel and those feelings, and therefore their actions, do not have to impact others.
• People's actions are a reflection of how they are feeling about themselves and their lives, not you and your life.
• Share stories of such experiences only for learning and perspective, not to complain or carry those ideas and feelings forward

While how a day begins can impact the whole day, it need not, and it is your choice!

Not sure about everyone else, but I choose kindness and it keeps me fueled for life!!! Won’t you please join me?

#Kind #kindness #Kindnessmatters #1KindAct #KindnessNeedNotBeQuarantined

Building Personal Resilience!

 Persistence and resilience only come from having been given the chance to work through difficult problems.

~ Gever Tulley

While there can be uphill battles, setbacks, and certainly disappointments in life and in business, there are also ways to move through (not around or over) there are also lessons learned, opportunities through challenges, and growth.

Getting there often takes drive, effort, and most of all, resilience.

Resilience is mostly a learned skill in our youth, and yet it is something that can be acquired with intentional effort and interest in being able to move through situations and people who/that were not as anticipated. Here are some tips for getting resilient and gaining resiliency:

Be competitive only with yourself and your goals, and not against others. Have your goals. Record them with written plans. Know what you have accomplished, and keep both in the forefront of your mind and mindset. This will keep a perspective, and keep you from being self-sabotaging. Doubt does not serve resiliency. Reminders of your success will keep you from going too dark, and keep light in your present and future.

Engage in your Emotional Intelligence. By being self-aware and feeling your feelings while being aware of others' feelings, you will be able to know the difference between how you feel and who you are in the moment. Speak in terms of how you feel rather than how you are. It is reasonable to say "I feel disappointed" versus "I am disappointed" because you allow the feeling without allowing the feeling to overtake you.

Think in terms of areas of focus such as a relationship, business, friends, family, health, and more, and keep them connected without extreme overlap in order to enjoy all, and practice resilience in each when required. When, in any area, something doesn't go as you'd like ask yourself "What next?" instead of "Why me?". This will have your focus on the future and staying positive (not a Polyana). Action allows for movement and movement allows for momentum.

Be an optimistic realist and/or a realistic optimist. Have gratitude and positivity, AND have consideration for not overlooking stumbling blocks by being so thankful or hopeful that they collectively become a setup for feeling discouraged. These checks and balances allow for resilience in that they are a consistent framework for keeping a framework around you for your well-being and growth.

Resilience can seem like you either have it or you do not, and yet it is achievable as a feeling and an approach to life and business. Practicing the aforementioned tips regularly will, ironically, keep you from finding the ups and downs so far apart, keeping your resilience low-key and ready in the wings for if/when there is something of higher stakes for which you want to overcome or adjust from!

#ProfessionalDevelopment #PersonalDevelopment #Kind #EmotionalIntelligence #PerformanceCoaching #OneBeanerPerformanceCoach #LivingKindly #KindnessIsMyOwnSuperpower #Kindness #CoachsCorner #Resilience #Resiliency #Growth

Debbie@DebbieLundberg.com 813.494.4438 DebbieLundberg.com

Lessons Learned: Sweet 16 Four Ways

It is a point of pride and humility to celebrate the Presenting Powerfully Sweet 16! Thanks for whatever you did to contribute to the past 192 months!

Based on the keynotes, strategy, facilitation, emceeing, coaching, and consulting, here are four lessons learned along the way:

1) Know your expertise and your lane. Stay there and get really good at all you do, and resist adding options that supplement yet do not showcase expertise. Get with others to collaborate and/or refer, and you will keep your purpose and integrity intact for you, and importantly, you will serve your clients, patients, and/or customers best!

2) Embrace and honor your value and do not hesitate to share the investment schedule. Know your industry and other rates, and yet be specific about your offerings and ROI. With that, don't discount. While I offer considerations, the word, idea, concept, and application of a discount does not exist, as that would sound like clients are getting less than the full offer since mine is a service business. 

3) Have a process. For each offering, I have learned what and how things work. By documenting this for each, the sharing of the engagement becomes a good flow. Ask questions, confirm, and commit in writing. Rarely does someone say I asked too many questions. Still, over the years, I have asked too few. Keeping a process keeps mistakes to a minimum, and the questions that serve the conversation well at a maximum!

4) Be grateful for each engagement or sale. Stay away from thinking something is small or little, and think of the impact you get to have. I certainly do! 

While there are many good and challenging lessons that have, thankfully, been learned, there are four of them. Keeping those in mind, when you have your expertise, value, a process, and gratitude, know that sweet 16 gets even sweeter on the way to 17, 20, and beyond!

#ProfessionalDevelopment #PersonalDevelopment #Kind #EmotionalIntelligence #PerformanceCoaching #OneBeanerPerformanceCoach #LivingKindly #KindnessIsMyOwnSuperpower #Kindness #CoachsCorner

Debbie@DebbieLundberg.com 813.494.4438 DebbieLundberg.com

Making the Most of Your Moments

If you don't have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over?

~ John Wooden

While nobody can give you the gift of time, and we all have 24 hours in our day, there are certainly many ways to make the most of each day, hour, and moment, so here are 10 that have served me, and many clients well, over the years:

1. Have a morning routine (and an evening one, too). This keeps order. Routine is not restrictive, it is freeing, as there is no uncertainty or ambiguity for your mind to wonder what is happening next!

 2. Know life’s timing = your relationship with the clock. Yes, that may sound woo-woo, and yet if you dread going to bed and/or the alarm and are a snooze button-er, you likely have a confrontational relationship. If you keep your phone or alarm away from you, you will get up and get moving from the start!

 3. Eliminate lists, schedule all tasks & have buffers. People dislike this tip, and yet, lists only satisfy your wandering, wondering brain for a short while. If there is a list, your mind wants to work on accomplishing it, so that is the reason to schedule everything after prioritizing. Building in buffers allows for bio breaks and slight tweaks.

 4. Prioritize & ask for priority with clear boundaries. Sharing when something will be used and what the reason is for the priority gives context to those involved in a deadline, so ask, if you are given work to do, and offer if you are sharing.

 5. Start early & complete the worst first. When you get used to getting up a few minutes earlier than you used to, you can schedule the items you dislike or dread first. The reason is not to ruin your day, it is to get that behind you quickly to make the most of the rest of the day!

 6. Stop saying “swamped”, “stressed”, “slammed”, “crazy”, and/or "busy" so you stop getting your self-talk caught up in negativity. Instead, use "productive", "fully booked" and "well-scheduled".

 7. Say “no” or “no, thank you” & resist “busy-ness” in your day. You do not have to explain the reason, and you can wish people well as you move forward without accepting a "to do" that you don't want!

 8. Time chunk & allow time (not hope) with short meetings. 20 minutes is typically ideal for you starting and finishing something or getting enough accomplished on a project that it keeps you going without bogging you down.

 9. Focus on 1 thing at a time (no multi-tasking). S you don't get distracted, practice saying "If you give me In 5 minutes to finish this, I'll give you 100% of my attention" or "I'll come to you as soon as I am done with this." (And then do it!)

 10. Create organizing systems (mental & physical) that work for you! There is no "one-way" to be organized, yet all clutter is mental clutter, so get disciplined in how you stack, file, pile or repurpose things, and watch how your energy during your waking (and sleeping) time aligns with making the most!

You may want to implement 2-3 of these at a time (see what I did there) for impact on your day and your outcomes. Then, layer in other approaches on the list. With those free moments, please let me know how you are doing, okay? Thanks! Cheers to good times and good timing!

#ProfessionalDevelopment #PersonalDevelopment #Kind #EmotionalIntelligence #PerformanceCoaching #OneBeanerPerformanceCoach #LivingKindly #KindnessIsMyOwnSuperpower #Kindness #CoachsCorner #WorkdayWakeUp

Debbie@DebbieLundberg.com 813.494.4438 DebbieLundberg.com

Living a Meaningful Life

 "Old friends pass away, new friends appear. It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives. The important thing is to make it meaningful: a meaningful friend - or a meaningful day."

~ Dalai Lama

Meaning and meaningfulness in one’s life can be a goal, a pursuit, a passion, or an Achilles’ heel. How so? While those of us who feel, believe, and think we are making an impact, and therefore, a difference, are likely in the first three aspects…setting goals, pursuing joy, and passionately experiencing all we get to do. Still, others are frustrated, fumbling, and/or feelings as though they’ll never “get it”.

Because meaning is personal, and living a meaningful life is not the same as being happy, and/or experiencing and embracing happiness, it can seem elusive. It is not, and while the list here may look like a playbook or script, there is no order to the rhythm, rather your rhythm in moving through them will be your order.

10. Decide what your priorities are. Have 2, 3, or 4 that you know well and carry in your mind and heart. With those in mind, set your intention each day for that day, and set goals for days, weeks, months, and years. Intentions for experiences or days will allow you to be focused and present.

 9. Determine if your career is your calling or not. If so, go in fully, and if not, that is not a failure, it is success to learn that, and then you can pursue your calling adjunctly, as a side gig, or as a full change in your vocation. That’s up to you (all of this is!). Similarly, own and appreciate your passion. This need not have anything to do with your career and may link to your calling. Passion is that spark for you. Perhaps it’s coaching or dancing, and that may bring exercise and/or income or it may not. You may have a passion for reading. Make time for your passion.  

 8. Know that happiness is a state of mind and that you, and only you, are the one person responsible for your happiness. Get away from thinking being 10 pounds lighter or at a different job or in a relationship will make you happy. You take your mood and attitude with you, and the circumstances and people you are around either enhance or hinder them. Choose happiness and go forward from there!

 7. Engage in, and work on your Emotional Intelligence. Being self-aware, compassionate, and gracious with yourself and others will allow you to keep a perspective on life and situations that keeps you from being self-focused. Practice kindness. My definition of kindness is doing something for someone that benefits them whether they know you did it or not.

 6. Know that you are responsible for your choices and actions. Even when your choice or action did not go how you wanted or anticipated, own the outcomes and impacts and move forward. This is not excusing behaviors or lack of action, this is about being in the game and knowing while you can win growth, nobody has to lose as a result. Be proud of good choices. Apologize if choices impact others negatively. Name what you are doing or have done without blaming anyone or anything. Forgive. Forgive others, and forgive yourself, too. While feelings get hurt and things get said, timing and intention play roles in exchanges. Still, fully embrace and accept that most people do not want to hurt you, and if they do, that is a reflection of how they feel about themselves more than about you.

 5. Spend less money than you make and give back. This can be in making time and in donating money for causes and people who can benefit from your efforts. It’s not the amount that counts, it is that you make something else, outside of you and your family, work and activities, something you give worth and work to make a difference!

 4. Go it alone at times to grow, and then allow others in at times to assist in different growth. Know that there is no shame in asking for input or guidance. At the same time, don’t apologize if something is important for you to experience on your own. Don’t exclude or get dependent, rather be aware of what is best for you in each situation.

 3. Use time as your collaborator and not your nemesis. What? Yes, utilize the time you have in front of you and plan for it. This is not meant to make your life rigid, rather it is about making the most of each moment. Relaxing, sleeping, resting, and playing are all part of a full life, so that time is included in having a meaningful life. When that time is arranged, be present for what is available and what you get to experience.

 2. Love. Love fully. Love your friends. Be happy for others. Love a good time story. Love seeing people succeed. Spend little to no time or energy on jealousy or comparing yourself to others. Spend your vibes, words, and actions on moving toward creating and cultivating loving ways and relationships – romantic and otherwise. Let love guide you and let love lift you…and others!

 1. Be thankful, appreciative, and grateful. See what you have and celebrate that rather than imagining what is missing and focusing on that. I often say be grateful for what you have rather than hateful for what you don’t. Similarly, be appreciative of who is present rather than antagonistic toward those who are not. 

Having and living a meaningful life can be complicated when thinking about it long-term, and yet these approaches allow you to simplify your dedication and enjoyment of the meaning you either have within you, or you will find within you!

#ProfessionalDevelopment #PersonalDevelopment #Kind #PerformanceCoaching #OneBeanerPerformanceCoach #LivingKindly #KindnessIsMyOwnSuperpower #Kindness #CoachsCorner 

LESSONs LEARNED: Being Married to a 50-something!

Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young. The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young. 

~ Henry Ford

It feels like it wasn't all that long ago that I was thinking and likely saying "God, 40 is so old" and/or something like "Can you imagine what it would be like to be married to someone in their 50's - eeeewww!!!". While you may think that is shameful that I share that, and you have the right to, I admit having those thoughts. Back then, I expressed most thoughts, so it's fair to imagine yes, I said them out loud. I can even recall my girlfriends and me giggling about it without a care in the world beyond that or the realization that we would be those ages someday if we were fortunate!

Believe me, the first time I was engaged (yes, I was engaged three times before getting engaged and going through with the wedding to my husband, Michael), I never thought being married to someone in their 40's would or could be similar in the type of fun and romance and intrigue that being involved in my 20's would bring.

And then I hit my 30's, 40's, and now 50's!

While Michael is younger than I am, on his 50th birthday, I told him "Funny, I never anticipated being married to a 50-year-old" and then added "while having so much fun and living life fully!". So, here are my lessons learned from being married to a 50-something:

1) Age is a number. That number matters for some medical testing and otherwise, it's a number. You do the math!

2) Attitude makes a huge difference in whether someone acts in thoughts and motions to seem old or not.

3) Health and well-being are keys to staying youthful in actions and approaches, activities, and adventures.

4) Aging with someone is very different from observing someone as they age.

Overall, love and age can be friends or enemies. And, while at 53, I really do feel 38, I wouldn't want to be married to anyone other than my 50-something husband, and I would not want to be any other age! Here's to being married to Michael as a 50-something for years to come and then a 60-something, a 70-something, an 80-something, and so on!

Happy July Birthday month to Michael!

#ProfessionalDevelopment #PersonalDevelopment #Kind #PerformanceCoaching #OneBeanerPerformanceCoach #LivingKindly #KindnessIsMyOwnSuperpower #Kindness 

LESSONs LEARNED: From Loss and Major Surgeries

Losing my father and both my fathers-in-law in less than two years and having two major surgeries in that same amount of time has made for some interesting exchanges and experiences...and a lot of loss.

While I am grateful for the time I had with them and for my good health, as well as for people caring about me during these losses, there are a few lessons learned, including:

• During the time people are living, meet and appreciate them for where they are and who they are so that you can enjoy the time together without false expectations or disappointments. Memories are what you have remaining in the end!
• When others have lost loved ones, do not say things like "Let me know what I can do" or "I can't imagine losing my father", "I am just like you, a daddy's girl", or "What happened?" as you wait for an answer, as each of these comments/inquiries is all about you and not about the grieving person. Similarly, when others have had surgery,  do not say things like "Let me know what I can do" or "What happened?" or "How are you?" as you wait for an answer, as each of these comments/inquiries is all about you feeling better about yourself or simply getting the gossip to spread. It's not productive and kind.
• When others have lost loved ones, or had major surgery, do say things like "Thinking of you", "Sending good vibes", and "Praying for you", "You are on my mind" in written or verbal words (cards still are wonderful) since those comments require no responses and the person knows they are on their mind. Watch oversharing about your experience in order to be sincerely connected to your friend, family, or colleague because they are likely drained, and supporting you and your story does not feed their energy, it zaps it even more.
• Unless you are really close, consider sending a text over making a call, as there are emotional moments, hours, and days. And, in the message, resist asking questions or saying "Call me back", as that feels like a to-do for the griever/healer.
• If the grieving or healing person asks you to do something, do it. Don't ignore it or make it seem burdened. Offering to deliver a meal or walk with the person to heal and then going dark is not only careless, it is more damaging than not reaching out at all. Similarly, if you reach out a long time after the incident of loss or surgery, don't ramble on excusing your lack of presence, simply be there now.
• Whatever information you gain from these exchanges, keep that to yourself, as if you chat that up, you are simply gossiping! Privacy and respect do not go out the window simply because you have a chance to share details. Have discretion by saying something like "Respecting I got to speak with her, I'll let her know you asked about her".
• Be aware that we are grateful for people wanting to connect and that having people with whom you can connect is important and part of the ecosystem of life, and also that emotions and timing play a part in the process too...and the timing that is to be respected most is that of the griever or healer.

While I have and remain appreciative of people looking out for me, I hope this is useful for real connection at times of loss or change due to surgery. After all, death happens. Surgeries get scheduled or are urgent and occur. Still, when these take place, we can be kind and aware while assisting people to move through their experiences with grace and support.

The Difference in Getting Over & Getting Through Something

"The only way out is through."
~ Robert Frost,  in the poem A Servant to Servants

While life is filled with disappointments, detours, drop-offs, and distractions, it is also filled with excitement, plans, paths, and satisfaction!

Likely you'll agree that it seems/feels that most people want us to let go, move on, and/or get over whatever has us in the space that isn't ideal.

No, it is not that our friends, family, and colleagues don't want the best for us, it is, though, appealing, and even idealistic to paint a picture of whatever isn't great being gone.

And, yes, movement is important in order to advance.

So how do you move, and do move well for you?

Quite simply, think about getting through something rather than letting go or getting over it!

While that earworm of a song from the movie Frozen is popular in tune and concept, to "let it go" implies there is a hold and it magically can be released.

Getting over something is not desirable, as you would have to climb up, likely revel in a false sense of "betterment" and then get back down, and that is a lot of activity (versus movement) surrounding a person or situation!

In order to move through something, it's about being present and accepting where you are, determining what got you there, or what didn't happen that got you there. In other words, when you move through an experience, it includes ownership of your part(s). There's no room for blame or nastiness, rather a lot of room for reflection and growth.

Moving through includes putting the experience that was unfortunate or untimely in perspective in order to avoid a similar happenstance in the future.

Moving through is the way to advance and not avoid or ignore what has occurred. This way, you take that experience with you and you also get to blossom, be different and be stronger as a result!

#ProfessionalDevelopment #PersonalDevelopment #Kind #PerformanceCoaching #OneBeanerPerformanceCoach #LivingKindly #KindnessIsMyOwnSuperpower #Kindness #CoachsCorner #WorkdayWakeUp

Debbie@DebbieLundberg.com 813.494.4438 DebbieLundberg.com

Lessons Learned from Ribbon Cuttings!

 Barely a week goes by without me being asked to cut a ribbon somewhere, and I'm usually happy to oblige. Things to do with the Army mostly.

~ Vera Lynn

British Musician

March 20, 1917 - June 18, 2020

When a new business gets started, changes locations, or adds a new location, a celebration often ensues. It's fun to launch, kick off, congratulate, and more...especially if there is a ribbon-cutting to capture it all!

Having served on a local chamber board for 6 years, believe it or not, I only attended one ribbon-cutting, and it was huge...that business is now tremendously successful after much growth and continued pursuit of sales and opportunities. I feel joyfully (perhaps oddly) connected to them and look forward to their updates each month, yet did not really think about the connection to the ribbon-cutting until this week.

Flash forward, and now I have been a member of a different chamber for 6 years, and in that time, have attended 4 ribbon-cuttings until this month when, within less than two weeks, I attended 5 ribbon-cuttings. Because I have the honor and opportunity to serve our community as the Chair-Elect, I want to be present, appreciative, welcoming, and learn as we congratulated the new members and businesses through accomplishment and make them feel the inclusiveness of our community, and here are seven lessons learned:

1. Remember this hour or two-hour time frame is significant, and therefore, a big deal for the business owner and team, likely, and they may be excited, nervous, and emotional, so while this is one aspect of your day, it is THEIR DAY for the team members of the business, so bring enthusiasm for them or stay home

2. There is no standard ribbon-cutting, as most people have either never been to one, or only been to one or two, so this concept has many varied ideas and expectations for the hosts, so let it be what they want, rather than what you expect

3. Some, very few, people attend A LOT of ribbon cuttings, and yet they are not professional ribbon cutters, rather they seek out the free "stuff" such as food and give-aways

4. As a guest, be gracious, appreciative, and inquisitive by ensuring you introduce yourself to those hosting and others and ask the people involved about sharing how they got where they are as well as about their business and business goals/plans

5. As a leader/owner or representative of the organization, have words ready to prepare and a plan for the event/time

6. To have a memorable ribbon-cutting, having a theme, coordinated attire, music, food, drink, and a photographer, along with swag, makes it an event/experience rather than just a photo-op

7. If you post and share about it, include photos of the building and team members and not just yourself so their marketing can get more mileage from the experience/investment

If you are wondering how these lessons learned carry to anything other than ribbon-cuttings, please imagine this for going to someone's home for the first time or a party. People have put in some effort and included you, so graciousness and gratitude can go a long way!

LESSONS LEARNED from a Year of Sharing Kindness

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. 

~ Philo

At 19, I wanted to change how people perceived me...not superficially, rather genuinely through my learning and changing...growing and going through the experiences of making the most of my personality, making me, different.

That journey may never end, and that's okay by me, as gaining insights and being challenged is good for each of us who wants to explore boundaries and enhancements.

Kindness was something I loved experiencing and sharing. 

In 2020, while going through the process of kidney donation alone during the pandemic, kindness was not only evident, it became a passion. Defining, understanding, and speaking on it became a priority, as sharing in joy in hopes of others experiencing it is part of my practice. It's vulnerable and exciting to share from the heart through stories of joy and missteps, and as a keynote for over 15 years, I got that. What I didn't expect is here, in these lessons learned:

1) How I define KINDness is all about K-I-N-D: Know thyself, Include others sincerely, Nudge past nice and Do something bigger than yourself.

2) Kindness is about being direct and real, not about being polite or getting overlooked. Some people don't agree or appreciate that. Those people sadly seek to judge by letting me know that I am not being kind to them when I'm providing feedback and being open and communicating likes and dislikes in a non-confrontational way that still shows my conviction.

3) I'd rather be true to myself, and kind to myself and others than be liked. And, everyone absolutely has the right to not like that, like me, not care for me, not align with my approach, and/or disagree with me. It's not a popularity contest, rather life is about bringing truth to concept.

4) Be discreet with your criticisms in words and/or facial expressions in front of people, as they may feel isolated or on the outs in your company while you also go to people directly to resolve anything that occurs, rather than stewing over something that may or may not happen, and then choose to be open to feedback and strive not to be defensive.

While I won't stop being kind and learning and sharing kindness, I will continue to embrace how positively kindness has empowered and impacted me...with hope that others will do something similar for themselves!

Check in on your HEART with HEART

"Put your heart, mind, and soul into even your smallest acts. This is the secret of success."

~ Swami Sivananda

When we speak with passion, we put our hands to our hearts, and when we are sad, we say we have a broken heart. Our hearts flutter, skip a beat, and keep us going...no matter how we frame their existence!

If we are willing to check in on our heart, it means we check in on how we think, feel, desire, and anticipate what is going on and what may either be lost or in the future.

To really make the most of our whole heart is to do all of the following:

H - Have faith that we know what is best for us in matters of life and love

E - Enjoy the people and experiences we get to have around us

A - Appreciate what we learn and what we have to learn

R - Realistically set expectations for our capacity and that of others

T - Take charge of our responsibilities and opportunities

While our heart is a muscular organ that pumps blood through the blood vessels of the circulatory system, and the heart is what keeps us going, it is also our expression of passion, compassion, grief and glee, so when it comes to matters of the heart, everything about the heart matters!!!!

#ProfessionalDevelopment #PersonalDevelopment #PerformanceCoaching #Kind #OneBeanerPerformanceCoach #LivingKindly #KindnessIsMyOwnSuperpower #Kindness #CoachsCorner #WorkdayWakeUp

It's a WRAP!

 If you want to get across an idea, wrap it up in person. 

~ Ralph Bunche

#QUOTE

You may have recently wrapped presents, wrapped up your work for the year, and/or be wrapping up the calendar year 2021...or all three!

This is a time of year for closing out as you look forward, too.

How to do that, and do that well? Knowing that's a WRAP can work well with these four steps:

W - Weigh the progress you have made as self versus self and as your result versus the goal over thinking of self versus others or results versus everyone else's results.

R - Recollect what has gone well during the year, and collect thoughts on what you want to go smoothly and successfully in the new year as you review what could have gone more smoothly and what to improve going forward.

A - Appreciate what you did, your choices and those around you as you think about what and who influenced your decisions and your outcomes.

P - Present your progress and share with those who were a part of it all in order to include them without boasting and realize your accomplishments without downplaying how collaboration can assist you.

When you WRAP up an experience, a project, or even a year, you can also set up for the next opportunity when you look at weighing, recollecting, appreciating, and presenting about you and beyond you!

#ProfessionalDevemopment #PersonalDevelopment  #PerformanceCoaching #Kind #OneBeanerPerformanceCoach #LivingKindly #KindnessIsMyOwnSuperpower #Kindness #CoachsCorner 

Lessons Learned from Mowing the Lawn!

 The simple act of paying attention can take you a long way. 

~ Keanu Reeves

#QUOTE

Even though nearly all of our street-mates and other neighbors have a lawn service, Michael and I mow our yard each week (or twice a week in the Summer).

That may surprise you or simply not interest you. Either way is understandable, as that is only part of the story...

The rest of the story is that one of us mows it each time. The person who mows is the person who lost to the other at golf that week. Or, another way to look at it is that the person who won, does not mow the lawn that week!

Because golf is a fair game with handicaps and tee that relate to those handicaps, it is a sport for the ages and for nearly all who want to play it. The fairness allows for Michael and me to truly compete through injuries, obstacles, and across the state, the country, and into other countries!

With all the blades cut over the years, much has presented itself, and here are a few lessons from mowing the lawn:

1) Being competitive means winning and losing and that a win or a loss does not make any one person a winner or a loser overall!

2) Being outside, for golf, and for mowing, is a joy in itself, and even if mowing means golf perhaps wasn't stellar, it does mean we got to golf, and for that, we certainly can be grateful.

3) Extra steps are extra steps, and those bonus steps mean health-mindedness can be a way of accepting the time spent paying off a debt!

4) Mowing is growing if we let it be, as that simple time can be a chance to reflect on the round, what went well and what was missed, so the beauty made from mowing can be a byproduct of the reflection, and the insights on the game can be the byproduct of the mowing.

Similar to my lessons learned from lawn mowing, we can learn lessons in life, such as having perspective on wins, enjoying our environment, keeping health a priority, and maintaining personal growth!

#ProfessionalDevemopment #PersonalDevelopment #PerformanceCoaching #Kind #OneBeanerPerformanceCoach #LivingKindly #KindnessIsMyOwnSuperpower #Kindness  #CoachsCorner #WorkdayWakeUp

LESSONS LEARNED: Getting to Teach "Kindness as a Leadership Trait" Course

Kindness is in low supply and high demand.

As an avid reader of a double-digit number of books on kindness, a Kindness Attendant in "The Kindness Community" (an online worldwide group), and someone who wrote a book titled Reversing the Slobification of America, I look for ways to share kindness and kind actions as well as encourage others to do similar things.

A couple of weeks ago, the 14-week Florida State University Jim Moran Institute for Entrepreneurship graduated a cohort. That was the first-ever group who got to experience the class. Since Shane Smith, Ph.D. took a chance by allowing me to do what became known as the "Kick-off to Kindness" as the start of each Tuesday's experience.

Here are a few lessons learned from the fortuitous opportunity to share facts, acts, and the impact of kindness personally and professionally:

Kindness has four formats: toward self, toward others, toward the community, and toward the world

Most people are the least kind to themselves

Encouraging people to be kind to themselves is a form of permission

A kind act done for recognition is SPORTSMANSHIP, a kind act done for getting someone to collaborate or sign a contract is BUSINESS, and a kind act done for another person to feel good and/or have an opportunity, whether that person knows you did it or not, is true KINDNESS

Kindness makes some people uncomfortable and they are not wrong, rather have likely not been exposed to kindness which creates the discomfort

Kindness can be learned

Kindness begets kindness

Kindness is super

Kindness is powerful

(It follows that) Kindness is a superpower, and it is a superpower each and every one of us can use for good

Whether you get to facilitate a course on kindness is not the point of this "lessons learned" segment, rather the overall awareness of how a kind word, kind act, and a kind heart are available to us all, and all of us, whether we know it or not, can use (and use the impact of) a lot more kindness in our lives!

A Lesson Learned from Kindness Encounter(s)

 While I am happy to be a part of many groups and organizations, it is interesting to see what people will promote or devote time to online.

One of the communities I am in focuses on KINDNESS. Oh, that is right up my alley, so it was exciting to get invited to be connected there!

With everything happening in the world, where it seems like some people are more concerned with hoarding than being considerate, it seemed this group would be a super reprieve for these "odd days".

I shared in that private group that my new hashtag is #KindnessNeedNotBeQuarantined and posted the hashtag there with a story about a trip to Costco and being nice to one another.

Someone took a shot at that by posting that I was taking jobs from workers by moving the carts out of the way in the parking lot. I thought, like I typically do, that she had the right to her view, and opted not to reply. It made me sad, though, as this person who was approved and/or invited in, was so quick to attack, and so fast to abandon kindness.

What I learned there was that some people believe kindness or being nice or considerate is ONLY the way they define it. Sadly, they are being judgmental, and in effect, not at kind in their ways.

So, please, let's be kind, even if that means not agreeing or not responding. After all, kindness and judgment are not adjacent, they are opposing mindsets...and kindness guides growth where judgment simply limits!

Lessons Learned: The Outcomes of Kindness

"I have days of self-doubt, but I think the kindest thing I can do to myself is accept where my body is at."

~Geri Halliwell

Kindness is not necessarily rooted in niceness.

Being nice means we don't want to rock the boat and do not want to make anyone uneasy or at odds. Niceness has its place at times.

Kindness means we take in, stand up, and present ideas with grace, consideration, and perspective. There is rarely a time when kindness does not have its place.

A smile can be both nice and kind.

Biting one's tongue when frustrated or uncomfortable can seem nice, and it is not kind to oneself or to the relationship.

Please know, this is not a war on niceness, this is a campaign for kindness...

Having become a Kindness Attendant for Kindleigh's worldwide Kindness Community, sharing about kindness in posts and tips, speaking on the kindness impact/effect, and now, facilitating "Kindness as a Leadership Trait" in formal leadership programs at schools and in businesses, there have been a lot of lessons learned, including:

• Kindness is not a soft-skill, it is a foundational skill
• Kindness can be challenging, and people who are kind are not void of frustration or disappointment
• How people kindly process through difficulty and rejection and present it through kindness, is centering to them (and others)
• Kindness can be a born trait of a personality, AND it can be learned
• People are rarely kind to themselves and when we are not kind inward, we are not likely to be genuinely kind outward
• If we are frustrated or drained by our kind acts, it is not genuine kindness, it is often done out of obligation, guilt or a desire to be perceived as "a good person"
• Kindness, when mistaken as a weakness, makes people feel like they have to defend this strength
• Kindness is to be shared with others not for what they do with it, rather for how one believes it can impact a person or situation
• Kindness "muscles" may not be found on a medical evaluation of a body, and yet they exist in smiles and head nods and genuine embraces, and when exercised, the kindness "muscles" flex and grow
• The lasting effect of kindness on oneself and on others is measurable and there is much science to support it

Kindness is to be honored, considered, and shared freely without strings or quid pro quo. Kindness is all about you and your impact versus others and how they accept or deny it or you!