For the Love of Time & Health!

 "He who has health, has hope; and he who has hope, has everything."

~ Thomas Carlyle

If you believe that health, love, and time are some of the most important things in life, if not THE most important things in life, please keep reading.

The question for us all is “Are we investing, focusing on, and truly appreciative of those most important things we have in life, and are you truly connected to your health, your love, and your time?”.

On May 22nd, I successfully moved from being diagnosed with thyroid cancer earlier this year, to being completely cancer-free. The reason to share that is for perspective for this message/tip, and to convey the optimism and the belief we can each embrace can combine to guide us to know that if we take action, we can move through things in life that challenge us, and those challenging experiences do not define us, rather they make up part of the story…part of your story!

Since time may be spent wondering what others are thinking or doing, I encourage you to spend time embracing what your thoughts do for you, and how your actions guide you.

Our health is not a happenstance. Our health is a combination of our physical, mental, and emotional being…in an effort to make it all gel into well-being. Is there something in your health that you are ignoring, rationalizing, or simply accepting that may not really be acceptable if you did deep to think about how you want to feel and function?

Love, and in particular, love of self, is not overrated, and yet it can be couched in what looks or feels like indulgences. Let your love of self not be excused. If you don’t feel that love, look to those who love you and ask them the very vulnerable question “What do you love about me?” and then seek to see and feel what they have identified – not so you take their word for it, rather to give you a base. People love you. You are loved, and by keeping that at the forefront, other choices settle in a clear focus.

So, what does this have to do with my medical situation/story, and what can you do right now about time, love, and health? 

Because I simply wanted to participate in a screening for thyroid for the doctors to get data, nodules were found. The first scan that was scheduled was canceled, and making time to get to another one became a priority. Doing that was self-care, AKA, love, and while it may seem like there is no good time to be sick or to have surgery, as surprising as the diagnosis was, selecting the soonest possible allowed my body and mind to know everything was being done after that pathology report to move to being cured. Respecting everything is not as straightforward, the decision to act each time keeps you moving ahead.

So, please take the time to invest in your health because you are surrounded by love. Schedule a preventative screening for yourself and be your own best health advocate. Is it your dental exam, a colonoscopy, that dermatology screening, a mammogram, or even an annual physical? What is it that hasn’t gotten your time and attention, your desire to feel loved in your own choices, and to prioritize your health and well-being?

Please know that when you prioritize and focus on your health, and love yourself enough, you can handle whatever comes your way, and in time, you will be through to the other side…likely stronger, definitely enriched, different for the intentional addressing of what you are experiencing!

With that, thanks to all who made the time to check in on me, walk with me, send food, and more, for the flowers and feel-good gifts of health, for your genuine friendship, and for loving me these past months with this all on my mind! Thank you, especially to my make-shift nurse, Michael, who wonderfully filled in as the guest VJ with the coach’s corner tip videos last week!

While admittedly, my world may have seemed to shrink for an instant when I received the diagnosis, because of being present and being open, with all of the personal and external support, it is clear that by sharing and caring, encouraging, and being available to answer anything you may want to ask or know, my world did not shrink, it absolutely grew. 

Cheers to the time we have and what we do with it, to the health we have, and how we protect it, and to the love we give and get, and how we grow it! 

Thank you!

#Gratitude #Reflection #LUNDBERGism #Health #Love #Time #Kind #Leadership #PersonalDevelopment #ProfessionalDevelopment

Lessons Learned: Grace Following Gratitude

 Nope!!! No way!! Not a chance!! 🤚

Forgetting my bandana for sweat, stepping in dog poo, and even a lady nearly violently screaming “Are you kidding??” at me when I smiled, waved, and said “Good morning!” as I passed her on a run could not AND would not keep me from being grateful to run outside and thankful our home was intact after HurricaneIan on my morning run the Saturday when we returned from evacuating in my "Please be K.I.N.D." tank top!

While I felt surprised and even shocked in the midst of the experiences, the feeling of sadness for people not being grateful for what they had, being safe following Ian, and feeling humbled by everyone south of us and on other coasts being in despair, I dug deep to learn:

• Others have the right to feel how they feel and those feelings, and therefore their actions, do not have to impact others.
• People's actions are a reflection of how they are feeling about themselves and their lives, not you and your life.
• Share stories of such experiences only for learning and perspective, not to complain or carry those ideas and feelings forward

While how a day begins can impact the whole day, it need not, and it is your choice!

Not sure about everyone else, but I choose kindness and it keeps me fueled for life!!! Won’t you please join me?

#Kind #kindness #Kindnessmatters #1KindAct #KindnessNeedNotBeQuarantined

Building Personal Resilience!

 Persistence and resilience only come from having been given the chance to work through difficult problems.

~ Gever Tulley

While there can be uphill battles, setbacks, and certainly disappointments in life and in business, there are also ways to move through (not around or over) there are also lessons learned, opportunities through challenges, and growth.

Getting there often takes drive, effort, and most of all, resilience.

Resilience is mostly a learned skill in our youth, and yet it is something that can be acquired with intentional effort and interest in being able to move through situations and people who/that were not as anticipated. Here are some tips for getting resilient and gaining resiliency:

Be competitive only with yourself and your goals, and not against others. Have your goals. Record them with written plans. Know what you have accomplished, and keep both in the forefront of your mind and mindset. This will keep a perspective, and keep you from being self-sabotaging. Doubt does not serve resiliency. Reminders of your success will keep you from going too dark, and keep light in your present and future.

Engage in your Emotional Intelligence. By being self-aware and feeling your feelings while being aware of others' feelings, you will be able to know the difference between how you feel and who you are in the moment. Speak in terms of how you feel rather than how you are. It is reasonable to say "I feel disappointed" versus "I am disappointed" because you allow the feeling without allowing the feeling to overtake you.

Think in terms of areas of focus such as a relationship, business, friends, family, health, and more, and keep them connected without extreme overlap in order to enjoy all, and practice resilience in each when required. When, in any area, something doesn't go as you'd like ask yourself "What next?" instead of "Why me?". This will have your focus on the future and staying positive (not a Polyana). Action allows for movement and movement allows for momentum.

Be an optimistic realist and/or a realistic optimist. Have gratitude and positivity, AND have consideration for not overlooking stumbling blocks by being so thankful or hopeful that they collectively become a setup for feeling discouraged. These checks and balances allow for resilience in that they are a consistent framework for keeping a framework around you for your well-being and growth.

Resilience can seem like you either have it or you do not, and yet it is achievable as a feeling and an approach to life and business. Practicing the aforementioned tips regularly will, ironically, keep you from finding the ups and downs so far apart, keeping your resilience low-key and ready in the wings for if/when there is something of higher stakes for which you want to overcome or adjust from!

#ProfessionalDevelopment #PersonalDevelopment #Kind #EmotionalIntelligence #PerformanceCoaching #OneBeanerPerformanceCoach #LivingKindly #KindnessIsMyOwnSuperpower #Kindness #CoachsCorner #Resilience #Resiliency #Growth

Debbie@DebbieLundberg.com 813.494.4438 DebbieLundberg.com

Lessons Learned: Sweet 16 Four Ways

It is a point of pride and humility to celebrate the Presenting Powerfully Sweet 16! Thanks for whatever you did to contribute to the past 192 months!

Based on the keynotes, strategy, facilitation, emceeing, coaching, and consulting, here are four lessons learned along the way:

1) Know your expertise and your lane. Stay there and get really good at all you do, and resist adding options that supplement yet do not showcase expertise. Get with others to collaborate and/or refer, and you will keep your purpose and integrity intact for you, and importantly, you will serve your clients, patients, and/or customers best!

2) Embrace and honor your value and do not hesitate to share the investment schedule. Know your industry and other rates, and yet be specific about your offerings and ROI. With that, don't discount. While I offer considerations, the word, idea, concept, and application of a discount does not exist, as that would sound like clients are getting less than the full offer since mine is a service business. 

3) Have a process. For each offering, I have learned what and how things work. By documenting this for each, the sharing of the engagement becomes a good flow. Ask questions, confirm, and commit in writing. Rarely does someone say I asked too many questions. Still, over the years, I have asked too few. Keeping a process keeps mistakes to a minimum, and the questions that serve the conversation well at a maximum!

4) Be grateful for each engagement or sale. Stay away from thinking something is small or little, and think of the impact you get to have. I certainly do! 

While there are many good and challenging lessons that have, thankfully, been learned, there are four of them. Keeping those in mind, when you have your expertise, value, a process, and gratitude, know that sweet 16 gets even sweeter on the way to 17, 20, and beyond!

#ProfessionalDevelopment #PersonalDevelopment #Kind #EmotionalIntelligence #PerformanceCoaching #OneBeanerPerformanceCoach #LivingKindly #KindnessIsMyOwnSuperpower #Kindness #CoachsCorner

Debbie@DebbieLundberg.com 813.494.4438 DebbieLundberg.com

Making the Most of Your Moments

If you don't have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over?

~ John Wooden

While nobody can give you the gift of time, and we all have 24 hours in our day, there are certainly many ways to make the most of each day, hour, and moment, so here are 10 that have served me, and many clients well, over the years:

1. Have a morning routine (and an evening one, too). This keeps order. Routine is not restrictive, it is freeing, as there is no uncertainty or ambiguity for your mind to wonder what is happening next!

 2. Know life’s timing = your relationship with the clock. Yes, that may sound woo-woo, and yet if you dread going to bed and/or the alarm and are a snooze button-er, you likely have a confrontational relationship. If you keep your phone or alarm away from you, you will get up and get moving from the start!

 3. Eliminate lists, schedule all tasks & have buffers. People dislike this tip, and yet, lists only satisfy your wandering, wondering brain for a short while. If there is a list, your mind wants to work on accomplishing it, so that is the reason to schedule everything after prioritizing. Building in buffers allows for bio breaks and slight tweaks.

 4. Prioritize & ask for priority with clear boundaries. Sharing when something will be used and what the reason is for the priority gives context to those involved in a deadline, so ask, if you are given work to do, and offer if you are sharing.

 5. Start early & complete the worst first. When you get used to getting up a few minutes earlier than you used to, you can schedule the items you dislike or dread first. The reason is not to ruin your day, it is to get that behind you quickly to make the most of the rest of the day!

 6. Stop saying “swamped”, “stressed”, “slammed”, “crazy”, and/or "busy" so you stop getting your self-talk caught up in negativity. Instead, use "productive", "fully booked" and "well-scheduled".

 7. Say “no” or “no, thank you” & resist “busy-ness” in your day. You do not have to explain the reason, and you can wish people well as you move forward without accepting a "to do" that you don't want!

 8. Time chunk & allow time (not hope) with short meetings. 20 minutes is typically ideal for you starting and finishing something or getting enough accomplished on a project that it keeps you going without bogging you down.

 9. Focus on 1 thing at a time (no multi-tasking). S you don't get distracted, practice saying "If you give me In 5 minutes to finish this, I'll give you 100% of my attention" or "I'll come to you as soon as I am done with this." (And then do it!)

 10. Create organizing systems (mental & physical) that work for you! There is no "one-way" to be organized, yet all clutter is mental clutter, so get disciplined in how you stack, file, pile or repurpose things, and watch how your energy during your waking (and sleeping) time aligns with making the most!

You may want to implement 2-3 of these at a time (see what I did there) for impact on your day and your outcomes. Then, layer in other approaches on the list. With those free moments, please let me know how you are doing, okay? Thanks! Cheers to good times and good timing!

#ProfessionalDevelopment #PersonalDevelopment #Kind #EmotionalIntelligence #PerformanceCoaching #OneBeanerPerformanceCoach #LivingKindly #KindnessIsMyOwnSuperpower #Kindness #CoachsCorner #WorkdayWakeUp

Debbie@DebbieLundberg.com 813.494.4438 DebbieLundberg.com

LESSONs LEARNED: Being Married to a 50-something!

Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young. The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young. 

~ Henry Ford

It feels like it wasn't all that long ago that I was thinking and likely saying "God, 40 is so old" and/or something like "Can you imagine what it would be like to be married to someone in their 50's - eeeewww!!!". While you may think that is shameful that I share that, and you have the right to, I admit having those thoughts. Back then, I expressed most thoughts, so it's fair to imagine yes, I said them out loud. I can even recall my girlfriends and me giggling about it without a care in the world beyond that or the realization that we would be those ages someday if we were fortunate!

Believe me, the first time I was engaged (yes, I was engaged three times before getting engaged and going through with the wedding to my husband, Michael), I never thought being married to someone in their 40's would or could be similar in the type of fun and romance and intrigue that being involved in my 20's would bring.

And then I hit my 30's, 40's, and now 50's!

While Michael is younger than I am, on his 50th birthday, I told him "Funny, I never anticipated being married to a 50-year-old" and then added "while having so much fun and living life fully!". So, here are my lessons learned from being married to a 50-something:

1) Age is a number. That number matters for some medical testing and otherwise, it's a number. You do the math!

2) Attitude makes a huge difference in whether someone acts in thoughts and motions to seem old or not.

3) Health and well-being are keys to staying youthful in actions and approaches, activities, and adventures.

4) Aging with someone is very different from observing someone as they age.

Overall, love and age can be friends or enemies. And, while at 53, I really do feel 38, I wouldn't want to be married to anyone other than my 50-something husband, and I would not want to be any other age! Here's to being married to Michael as a 50-something for years to come and then a 60-something, a 70-something, an 80-something, and so on!

Happy July Birthday month to Michael!

#ProfessionalDevelopment #PersonalDevelopment #Kind #PerformanceCoaching #OneBeanerPerformanceCoach #LivingKindly #KindnessIsMyOwnSuperpower #Kindness 

LESSONS LEARNED from a Year of Sharing Kindness

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. 

~ Philo

At 19, I wanted to change how people perceived me...not superficially, rather genuinely through my learning and changing...growing and going through the experiences of making the most of my personality, making me, different.

That journey may never end, and that's okay by me, as gaining insights and being challenged is good for each of us who wants to explore boundaries and enhancements.

Kindness was something I loved experiencing and sharing. 

In 2020, while going through the process of kidney donation alone during the pandemic, kindness was not only evident, it became a passion. Defining, understanding, and speaking on it became a priority, as sharing in joy in hopes of others experiencing it is part of my practice. It's vulnerable and exciting to share from the heart through stories of joy and missteps, and as a keynote for over 15 years, I got that. What I didn't expect is here, in these lessons learned:

1) How I define KINDness is all about K-I-N-D: Know thyself, Include others sincerely, Nudge past nice and Do something bigger than yourself.

2) Kindness is about being direct and real, not about being polite or getting overlooked. Some people don't agree or appreciate that. Those people sadly seek to judge by letting me know that I am not being kind to them when I'm providing feedback and being open and communicating likes and dislikes in a non-confrontational way that still shows my conviction.

3) I'd rather be true to myself, and kind to myself and others than be liked. And, everyone absolutely has the right to not like that, like me, not care for me, not align with my approach, and/or disagree with me. It's not a popularity contest, rather life is about bringing truth to concept.

4) Be discreet with your criticisms in words and/or facial expressions in front of people, as they may feel isolated or on the outs in your company while you also go to people directly to resolve anything that occurs, rather than stewing over something that may or may not happen, and then choose to be open to feedback and strive not to be defensive.

While I won't stop being kind and learning and sharing kindness, I will continue to embrace how positively kindness has empowered and impacted me...with hope that others will do something similar for themselves!

Check in on your HEART with HEART

"Put your heart, mind, and soul into even your smallest acts. This is the secret of success."

~ Swami Sivananda

When we speak with passion, we put our hands to our hearts, and when we are sad, we say we have a broken heart. Our hearts flutter, skip a beat, and keep us going...no matter how we frame their existence!

If we are willing to check in on our heart, it means we check in on how we think, feel, desire, and anticipate what is going on and what may either be lost or in the future.

To really make the most of our whole heart is to do all of the following:

H - Have faith that we know what is best for us in matters of life and love

E - Enjoy the people and experiences we get to have around us

A - Appreciate what we learn and what we have to learn

R - Realistically set expectations for our capacity and that of others

T - Take charge of our responsibilities and opportunities

While our heart is a muscular organ that pumps blood through the blood vessels of the circulatory system, and the heart is what keeps us going, it is also our expression of passion, compassion, grief and glee, so when it comes to matters of the heart, everything about the heart matters!!!!

#ProfessionalDevelopment #PersonalDevelopment #PerformanceCoaching #Kind #OneBeanerPerformanceCoach #LivingKindly #KindnessIsMyOwnSuperpower #Kindness #CoachsCorner #WorkdayWakeUp

FEBRUARY LESSONS LEARNED: How to Not be Disappointed in Exciting Times

"We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope."

~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

How exciting it is to get to participate and volunteer in the community and in the company of leaders! While I know and believe that statement wholeheartedly, I also grew up as the kid that on the 4th day of a week's vacation, I started to get sad about the end of the trip...

Since then, I have learned to be present, thankful, and engaged in whatever is in front of me, and with whoever includes me.

Still, people can be difficult, demanding, and downright mean. I do not encourage people to say, think or believe that they don't care, rather, know that they do care, and that others do impact us, and the degree of care and energy we give something or someone matters, and to be managed for our own well-being.

So, coming off hosting TEDxWestshore after dedicating time, energy, and ideas to people's order their introductions and their talks, having a full-house audience for the theme EXPLORE thanks to Beth Socoski's excellent efforts, I heard some of the rudest, thoughtless comments that reminded me, and nearly took me back to those days of feeling sad about had not happened instead of glad for what did. while occasionally holding back a tear or two, I didn't let that happen, and from it, chose to have lessons learned that include:

1. People's approach to a situation has more to do with their attitude and imagined expectations than anything you are doing at that moment
2. People acting out is likely a cry for help, that they are suffering, so rather than lashing back, step back and think about empathy for where they may be coming from
3. Surround yourself with people who will listen to you, provide positive and constructive feedback, and protect your time passionately not to be self-serving, rather to be self-aware of how environments and individuals impact you
4. Allow yourself to be a bit disappointed or sad while you keep the focus on moving ahead with learning and love - for yourself and for those who do not drain you!

Being able to let yourself stay encouraged to participate in experiences instead of getting bitter toward everyone as a result of the few who seem as though their goal is to make your life a challenge, is, in and of itself, a valuable lesson learned!

#ProfessionalDevelopment #PersonalDevelopment  #PerformanceCoaching #Kind #OneBeanerPerformanceCoach #LivingKindly #KindnessIsMyOwnSuperpower #Kindness #CoachsCorner #WorkdayWakeUp

Debbie@DebbieLundberg.com 813.494.4438 DebbieLundberg.com

Thriving in Productivity Rather Than Drowning in Activity

Productivity is never an accident. It is always the result of a commitment to excellence, intelligent planning, and focused effort. 

~ Paul J. Meyer

With the starting of something new, it can feel like it is important to "get moving", and to a certain extent, it is...

as long as that movement is intentional and focused, directed and decided.

When we think we have to go and do, sometimes that energy gets misdirected.

Activity is not productivity, and therefore, simply acting is not being productive.

So, what is the difference?

Activity is about doing something, and productivity is about doing something intentional to move forward, to advance toward a goal.

There are ways to stay in the productivity mindset versus succumbing to the activity temptation. Some of those include:

• Get realistic while you are ambitiously looking forward (know what you are capable of doing when you stretch and give your best) and share your goals with a few you like, admire, trust and respect
• Break your goals down into measurable, incremental sub-goals
• Schedule your planned completion (accomplishment) with a stretch finish date, too, and then lock those dates on your calendar and work backward
• Make a list of everything you can imagine being required to get through to your end
• Put everything on your calendar in chunks of time that are manageable for the way you work (if you work in bursts, then plan for 20-minute increments, and if you have longevity in effort, then look at 1-2 hour blocks) and cross those items off the list when you put them on the calendar
• For each effort, ask yourself the same questions: How is this advancing me toward my goal? and Is this the best use of my time, energy and resources right now? These questions are key to keeping you out of activity and in productivity!
• Engage others for the tasks that would likely be best done by someone else (this is about limiting pride and therefore limiting activity, and engaging in humility and allowing others to participate)
• Celebrate wins along the way
• Allow for downtime and for rejuvenating efforts, too, as these can be productive for staying whole and complete as you advance your goal
• Revisit your goal(s), and make a new list and adjust your calendar each week in order to stay productive and focused while advancing your effort

Being a productive person is admittedly not always thrilling and fun, yet it is intriguing, forward-thinking and forward-acting. It's exciting to know that the energy expended is being realized, and that surely makes for a thrill and some fun outcomes along the way!

#ProfessionalDevelopment #PersonalDevelopment  #PerformanceCoaching #Kind #OneBeanerPerformanceCoach #LivingKindly #KindnessIsMyOwnSuperpower #Kindness #CoachsCorner #WorkdayWakeUp

Debbie@DebbieLundberg.com 813.494.4438 DebbieLundberg.com

It's a WRAP!

 If you want to get across an idea, wrap it up in person. 

~ Ralph Bunche

#QUOTE

You may have recently wrapped presents, wrapped up your work for the year, and/or be wrapping up the calendar year 2021...or all three!

This is a time of year for closing out as you look forward, too.

How to do that, and do that well? Knowing that's a WRAP can work well with these four steps:

W - Weigh the progress you have made as self versus self and as your result versus the goal over thinking of self versus others or results versus everyone else's results.

R - Recollect what has gone well during the year, and collect thoughts on what you want to go smoothly and successfully in the new year as you review what could have gone more smoothly and what to improve going forward.

A - Appreciate what you did, your choices and those around you as you think about what and who influenced your decisions and your outcomes.

P - Present your progress and share with those who were a part of it all in order to include them without boasting and realize your accomplishments without downplaying how collaboration can assist you.

When you WRAP up an experience, a project, or even a year, you can also set up for the next opportunity when you look at weighing, recollecting, appreciating, and presenting about you and beyond you!

#ProfessionalDevemopment #PersonalDevelopment  #PerformanceCoaching #Kind #OneBeanerPerformanceCoach #LivingKindly #KindnessIsMyOwnSuperpower #Kindness #CoachsCorner 

Lessons Learned from Mowing the Lawn!

 The simple act of paying attention can take you a long way. 

~ Keanu Reeves

#QUOTE

Even though nearly all of our street-mates and other neighbors have a lawn service, Michael and I mow our yard each week (or twice a week in the Summer).

That may surprise you or simply not interest you. Either way is understandable, as that is only part of the story...

The rest of the story is that one of us mows it each time. The person who mows is the person who lost to the other at golf that week. Or, another way to look at it is that the person who won, does not mow the lawn that week!

Because golf is a fair game with handicaps and tee that relate to those handicaps, it is a sport for the ages and for nearly all who want to play it. The fairness allows for Michael and me to truly compete through injuries, obstacles, and across the state, the country, and into other countries!

With all the blades cut over the years, much has presented itself, and here are a few lessons from mowing the lawn:

1) Being competitive means winning and losing and that a win or a loss does not make any one person a winner or a loser overall!

2) Being outside, for golf, and for mowing, is a joy in itself, and even if mowing means golf perhaps wasn't stellar, it does mean we got to golf, and for that, we certainly can be grateful.

3) Extra steps are extra steps, and those bonus steps mean health-mindedness can be a way of accepting the time spent paying off a debt!

4) Mowing is growing if we let it be, as that simple time can be a chance to reflect on the round, what went well and what was missed, so the beauty made from mowing can be a byproduct of the reflection, and the insights on the game can be the byproduct of the mowing.

Similar to my lessons learned from lawn mowing, we can learn lessons in life, such as having perspective on wins, enjoying our environment, keeping health a priority, and maintaining personal growth!

#ProfessionalDevemopment #PersonalDevelopment #PerformanceCoaching #Kind #OneBeanerPerformanceCoach #LivingKindly #KindnessIsMyOwnSuperpower #Kindness  #CoachsCorner #WorkdayWakeUp

Staying Positive in the Face of Negativity (and during the extended holiday season)

Be happy with what you have and are, be generous with both, and you won't have to hunt for happiness.

~ William E. Gladstone

If you will consider, and even embrace the idea that the American HOLIDAY SEASON is from October 15th - February 15th, then you may start to be excited, anticipatory, stressed, concerned, or all of these all at once!

The reason for that is our expectations and anticipation of the holidays often falls short of reality, and yet each year, hope springs that desire to have the perfect holiday season, and stressors and worry start working in the background, and even come to the forefront during what is supposed to be a celebratory block of months, clouding the bright lights with complaints and disappointment!

While I get asked about facing negativity at all times of the year, during the next four months, typically, those inquiries increase. So, here are some ways to avoid negativity as you stay positive moving through the rest of the year:

Start the day with a smile at the sound of your alarm (I do it - felt corny when this came to my mind as a new habit, and now, it works to lift my face and energy)

Associate feet hitting the ground with gratitude, in other words, state internally, if others are sleeping, and externally, if you won't wake up someone else, something for which you are grateful

Have a routine that serves you well to start the day strong (I do 100 push-ups)

Keep rest, nourishment, movement, and mindset in focus (this is a talk I give often, and just spoke of it for the Dress for Success Ronda Shear Pajama Party)

Assess your habits for being well-serving, neutral, and not-well-serving in order to push toward well-serving habits

Engage with people and organizations that are optimistically realistic or realistically optimistic, and not those with toxic negativity, martyrs, or toxic positivity

Check in to ensure you are doing YOUR best, and not competing with others, rather solely with yourself that day with what you have then, and go from there

Limit your news and exposure, not to be uninformed, rather to be aware and tempered for the way it impacts you

Take action based on what you learn and can contribute rather than see what you can't do

Be present, and when you get distracted, weigh the cost of distraction versus the value of "being there"

If you set yourself up for success, it does not mean every day will be flawless, and certainly not perfect, rather, you will care to be aware, and you will then dare to spare yourself from excessive and unnecessary negativity!

LESSONS LEARNED: Getting to Teach "Kindness as a Leadership Trait" Course

Kindness is in low supply and high demand.

As an avid reader of a double-digit number of books on kindness, a Kindness Attendant in "The Kindness Community" (an online worldwide group), and someone who wrote a book titled Reversing the Slobification of America, I look for ways to share kindness and kind actions as well as encourage others to do similar things.

A couple of weeks ago, the 14-week Florida State University Jim Moran Institute for Entrepreneurship graduated a cohort. That was the first-ever group who got to experience the class. Since Shane Smith, Ph.D. took a chance by allowing me to do what became known as the "Kick-off to Kindness" as the start of each Tuesday's experience.

Here are a few lessons learned from the fortuitous opportunity to share facts, acts, and the impact of kindness personally and professionally:

Kindness has four formats: toward self, toward others, toward the community, and toward the world

Most people are the least kind to themselves

Encouraging people to be kind to themselves is a form of permission

A kind act done for recognition is SPORTSMANSHIP, a kind act done for getting someone to collaborate or sign a contract is BUSINESS, and a kind act done for another person to feel good and/or have an opportunity, whether that person knows you did it or not, is true KINDNESS

Kindness makes some people uncomfortable and they are not wrong, rather have likely not been exposed to kindness which creates the discomfort

Kindness can be learned

Kindness begets kindness

Kindness is super

Kindness is powerful

(It follows that) Kindness is a superpower, and it is a superpower each and every one of us can use for good

Whether you get to facilitate a course on kindness is not the point of this "lessons learned" segment, rather the overall awareness of how a kind word, kind act, and a kind heart are available to us all, and all of us, whether we know it or not, can use (and use the impact of) a lot more kindness in our lives!

A Lesson Learned from Kindness Encounter(s)

 While I am happy to be a part of many groups and organizations, it is interesting to see what people will promote or devote time to online.

One of the communities I am in focuses on KINDNESS. Oh, that is right up my alley, so it was exciting to get invited to be connected there!

With everything happening in the world, where it seems like some people are more concerned with hoarding than being considerate, it seemed this group would be a super reprieve for these "odd days".

I shared in that private group that my new hashtag is #KindnessNeedNotBeQuarantined and posted the hashtag there with a story about a trip to Costco and being nice to one another.

Someone took a shot at that by posting that I was taking jobs from workers by moving the carts out of the way in the parking lot. I thought, like I typically do, that she had the right to her view, and opted not to reply. It made me sad, though, as this person who was approved and/or invited in, was so quick to attack, and so fast to abandon kindness.

What I learned there was that some people believe kindness or being nice or considerate is ONLY the way they define it. Sadly, they are being judgmental, and in effect, not at kind in their ways.

So, please, let's be kind, even if that means not agreeing or not responding. After all, kindness and judgment are not adjacent, they are opposing mindsets...and kindness guides growth where judgment simply limits!

Lessons Learned: The Outcomes of Kindness

"I have days of self-doubt, but I think the kindest thing I can do to myself is accept where my body is at."

~Geri Halliwell

Kindness is not necessarily rooted in niceness.

Being nice means we don't want to rock the boat and do not want to make anyone uneasy or at odds. Niceness has its place at times.

Kindness means we take in, stand up, and present ideas with grace, consideration, and perspective. There is rarely a time when kindness does not have its place.

A smile can be both nice and kind.

Biting one's tongue when frustrated or uncomfortable can seem nice, and it is not kind to oneself or to the relationship.

Please know, this is not a war on niceness, this is a campaign for kindness...

Having become a Kindness Attendant for Kindleigh's worldwide Kindness Community, sharing about kindness in posts and tips, speaking on the kindness impact/effect, and now, facilitating "Kindness as a Leadership Trait" in formal leadership programs at schools and in businesses, there have been a lot of lessons learned, including:

• Kindness is not a soft-skill, it is a foundational skill
• Kindness can be challenging, and people who are kind are not void of frustration or disappointment
• How people kindly process through difficulty and rejection and present it through kindness, is centering to them (and others)
• Kindness can be a born trait of a personality, AND it can be learned
• People are rarely kind to themselves and when we are not kind inward, we are not likely to be genuinely kind outward
• If we are frustrated or drained by our kind acts, it is not genuine kindness, it is often done out of obligation, guilt or a desire to be perceived as "a good person"
• Kindness, when mistaken as a weakness, makes people feel like they have to defend this strength
• Kindness is to be shared with others not for what they do with it, rather for how one believes it can impact a person or situation
• Kindness "muscles" may not be found on a medical evaluation of a body, and yet they exist in smiles and head nods and genuine embraces, and when exercised, the kindness "muscles" flex and grow
• The lasting effect of kindness on oneself and on others is measurable and there is much science to support it

Kindness is to be honored, considered, and shared freely without strings or quid pro quo. Kindness is all about you and your impact versus others and how they accept or deny it or you!

A Lesson from 10,000 Steps to Sunrise

At the time of writing this, it was day 40 of what I am calling 10,000 Steps to Sunrise. Getting in 10,000 steps each day has been part of my day for quite a while.

Being the Chair of The American Heart Association's Circle of Red, being active, and simply being my own health advocate, I find the tracking a challenge and sense of success to know I am doing something good for my body (and mind) each day.

Since I am "Grounded" and most of my typical business is outside my home location, it was my decision to drive up the goal and get to 10,000 steps before sunrise Monday through Saturday and 10,000 steps before sunset each Sunday.

Throughout this longer-than-expected journey on foot, my mind, and my heart gained perspective and many ideas.

The lessons learned from this (still continuing) experiment include:

1) There is a calm in the morning where ideas flow without resistance
2) People who work out at the same time each day (I have worked out between 5:00 AM and 7:00 AM since 1992) appreciate their personal space and yet have a connectivity to others who enjoy that same time to feed their movement needs/desires
3) Speaking up and out in the morning with a friendly "Hello" can make someone's day start positively (even if they don't acknowledge you back)
4) Focusing on those who engage versus wondering the reasons people do not means having joy ready and waiting each day

So, even if you do or don't strive for the 10,000 step accomplishment, please think about how your goals and activities can impact and or include others in subtle and grand ways.

I'll continue to make the 10,000 Steps to Sunrise a priority while in this new temporary time with gratitude for my walking and running partners, Lynn, Supna, and Michael, and even when we move forward without being "grounded", I'll certainly continue to embrace these lessons learned!

#PresentingPowerfully
#LearnWithAndThroughOthers
#LifeLongLearning
#ComplementaryThoughts
#BeInspired
#LearnWithAndThroughOthers

Courtesy Beyond the Common

"Courtesy is a silver lining around the dark clouds of civilization; it is the best part of refinement and in many ways, an art of heroic beauty in the vast gallery of man's cruelty and baseness."

~ Bryant H. McGill

American Thought Leader.

(b. 1950)

There are a set of rules, so to speak, even an unspoken guide for most, hopefully many, of us that serve to guide us when around others. These rules are often called "Common Courtesy".

I often propose that these actions are neither common or courteous to those who don't observe or participate in them. That LUNDBERGism often gets a laugh in presentations.

Now, with no live presentations, and sadly, seemingly little laughter for a lot of people, it's time to go with Courtesy BEYOND the Common, meaning, not only is it about the niceness of engagement, it is about the true awareness and presence in engagement...even from a distance of 6 feet or more!

Let's start at the beginning. You count, and you are making a decision to engage. When you begin with personal responsibility, you know that each step, word and action is up to you. While we cannot control others, we can control how we respond or approach them.

Even if you feel defensive, defiant, frustrated or alone, keep in mind that you are one of many, and that you may be entering into a virtual space or real location where others are on what I call the "fringe", a place where they are on edge and ready to blow. Not that it is your responsibility to keep people on the right side of the fringe, it is your opportunity not to push someone over the edge!

Four courtesies beyond the common, on top of keeping your distance, include:

Smile - even through a mask - a nod of the head with a smile goes a long way, too
Use your words - Excuse me, and even hello go a long way with others
Embrace non-responding (from you) when others are nasty first
Be grateful - inside in thoughts and outwardly with thank yous to anyone who shows kindness including a "thanks", a positive review, and/or a hand-written note after leaving

When you decide you will be the difference and you will deliver Courtesy Beyond the Common, together, we may make these actions more "common" to many!

A Lesson from Kindness Encounters!

While I am happy to be a part of many groups and organizations, it is interesting to see what people will promote or devote time to online.

One of the communities I am in focuses on KINDNESS. Oh, that is right up my alley, so it was exciting to get invited to be connected there!

With everything happening in the world, where it seems like some people are more concerned with hoarding than being considerate, it seemed this group would be a super reprieve for these "odd days".

I shared in that private group that my new hashtag is #KindnessNeedNotBeQuarantined and posted the hashtag there with a story about a trip to Costco and being nice to one another.

Someone took a shot at that by posting that I was taking jobs from workers by moving the carts out of the way in the parking lot. I thought, like I typically do, that she had the right to her view, and opted not to reply. It made me sad, though, as this person who was approved and/or invited in, was so quick to attack, and so fast to abandon kindness.

What I learned there was that some people believe kindness or being nice or considerate is ONLY the way they define it. Sadly, they are being judgmental, and in effect, not at kind in their ways.

So, please, let's be kind, even if that means not agreeing or not responding. After all, kindness and judgment are not adjacent, they are opposing mindsets...and kindness guides growth where judgment simply limits!

A Lesson from the Parking Lot

Carts in parking lots have consistently perplexed me. Call me crazy, it seems simple: use a cart, empty a cart, return the cart to the store or cart corral.

Still, month by month (admittedly, Michael does the grocery shopping for us), I see people leave carts in the aisles of the parking lot, against cars, up on grassy areas, and many places other than in the store's designated areas.

I was frustrated. I moaned and groaned about it. It was exasperation at its finest (or at its worst, really)...

Even though it was my goal to take in many carts, I did it out of flabbergastedness (not that it is a word).

This month, the start of a new year and new decade, it dawned on me that this is my issue. This is my challenge (of many for growth), and it was decided that a new approach would be best.

I did just that.

Oh, I still take in the carts for others. Instead of being snitty or covert, I see that person, acknowledge them as a person who perhaps has a lot on his/her plate, smile and say something similar to "Hello. May I please take that in for you?". The responses have been interesting. Some people seem "caught" and they apologize, and now I sincerely let them know I am happy to do it. Others seem happy to be acknowledged at all. Still, many (I've been at the store more intentionally) give a genuine "Thank you", and, in turn, share a genuine "You're welcome!".

While I am still not "cured" of my near-obsession with people and carts, shifting approaches from one of irritability to service has made the difference in how my Emotional Intelligence, care, and empathy seem to be serving myself and others.

So, if you see me pushing one, two, or yes, even up to four carts in at Publix or Costco, know that this is a form of restitution and joy from a self-inflicted tortured soul to a self-aware serving soul!