The Power of a BYE List

Our thoughts create our reality - where we put our focus is where we tend to go."


- Peter McWilliams, writer and self-publisher of best-selling self-help books (1949-2000)

The invitations are aleady coming. Turkeys are being bought. Families are preparing for "that" uncle or "that" aunt who does "such-and-such" each year during the holidays. Wow, the holidays are nearly here!

Before you get too caught up in the idea of stuffing and shopping, please consider creating a BYE list. This BYE list will include all you want to do
Before
Year
End

If you make a list of events, people, experiences, and travels, you can decide what is realistic for the amount of time you have before you are ringing in 2012. For the BYE list, start and finish it within 48 hours, and ask anyone with whom you spend a lot of time (spouse, family, friend) to do the same. After you complete it, prioritize those items on the list, and meet with anyone else you asked to make the BYE list. In doing this, you will learn about you, learn about the other person/people, and you can decide what you will do together and what you will do alone or with other people. From there, get out your calendars (phones/iPads), and make the commitment to what you want to do so that you are not standing somewhere on New Year's Eve wishing "if I only had", and excusing it with "but the holidays were so busy".

Go enjoy the things on your list, and make the most of the next 50+ days before 2011 has gone BYE!

BTS to Responding over Reacting

“I think it was a good challenge for me to get my reactions across without being able to speak.” ~ Verne Troyer

Sometimes questions, issues, inquiries come in spurts or trends, and perhaps it is because we are at the year-end, entering into more family time than usual, or just because, but I have been asked many times over the past weeks about how to handle something shocking, offensive or just plain inappropriate.

An option for all things in life is to do nothing. Yes, you can walk away…

Still, most of us want to speak, to share and even put things to rest, so here’s an approach that works for most: I call it the BTS way…

The BTS way means as soon as you are shocked, taken aback, or just frustrated by a comment or statement, you:

B – Breathe (this buys you time and actually calms your body – think “take a breath-deeply”)
T – Tilt your head (shifting your head seems less attacking to the other person and softens your view/direction)
S – Smile (Put a smile on your face so your words are said with a smile and sincerity…even on the phone, the smile comes through)

At a family dinner where politics comes up, in a meeting where working on a holiday is mentioned, instead of reacting and attacking, think responding and bonding with the BTS way!