Positivity with Purpose, Please

There are "Be positive" and "Stay positive" messages abound, right? And, often, they come from me in my daily tips and workday videos. So what gives?

What is with all of this positivity?

Well, being positive for others is not being positive. That is being nice or compliant or phony.

Being positive with purpose is all about you first, and absolutely, the impact on others may follow!

What is the difference - the REAL difference?

Being positive for others keeps you quiet when you want to speak, and keeps you laughing when you want to exit the conversation. REAL positivity is about:

R - Reflecting on what you have and where you are and being appreciative of it all

E - Engaging in supportive self-talk and being your own best cheerleader

A - Approaching situations, people, problems, and opportunities with the belief that there is a solution, fix, or answer to move forward successfully

L - Leaning into growth even as there are misses and mistakes along the way

When you are a REAL positive person, you are not simply shining to get by, you are shining through and above situations with purpose. The purpose is YOU, and your well-being, centering, and success.

There is no purpose more powerful and positive than your own happiness.

This type of positive effort is from within that stretches beyond your realm and often has a good impact and lasting effect on others, too! How real is that?

The Power of Positivity

"Positivity, confidence, and persistence are key in life, so never give up on yourself."
~ Khalid

Over the years, at various times, positivity has been seen as a strength, and at other times, positivity has been viewed as a weakness.

Trends are intriguing and often fleeting.

This is not about an approach to "try", rather, it is about the purposeful effort to be optimistic and realistic while working through situations and with people in a positive manner a human being and as a leader (of self and/or others).

Positivity in this case, and hopefully in all cases, is only worthwhile and effective if it is sincere, from a place of betterment and a forward-thinking approach to whatever is at hand.

With that in mind, the following 10 positive approaches to life and leadership, ways to STOP and replace with a GO instead, are ways to enhance you and your approach to your relationships and engagements:

10 - Stop the “fake it ‘til you make it”, Go for “Make it about right now ‘til you make it to the next day or situation or person”

 9 - Stop attempting to please everyone, Go for enjoying life and being YOUR best

 8 - Stop the “Let me know what I can do…”, Go for the specific offer of what you are offering to do

 7 - Stop the posting of data, Go for sharing of interesting information with how it can impact others positively

 6 - Stop the disappointment based on assumptions, Go for setting expectations with others to know where you stand and where you can anticipate going

 5 - Stop making people feel defensive, Go for creating conversation by using What and How questions in place of Why questions

 4 - Stop starting emails and updates with “I”, Go for being about the audience, using BASICs (Because, Appreciating, Since, In order to, Considering/Respecting, all with a smile)

 3 - Stop being jealous, Go for being happy for the other person

 2 - Stop gossiping after the fact or behind someone's back, Go for gathering and addressing what is at hand directly with who is involved

 1 - Stop wondering how will this look to others, Go for thinking about what feels best in the moment and what is best for the situation

When you are true to these positions and commitments, your positivity becomes who you are and what your personal being and brand represent as a part of your demeanor and part of your approach to life and business over a strategy or positioning.

Mindset Shift to Positivity

"You try something, it doesn't work, and maybe people even criticize you. In a fixed mindset, you say, 'I tried this, it's over.' In a growth mindset, you look for what you've learned." 

~ Carol S. Dweck

American Educator.

(b. 1946)

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Recently, my expected 10:00 PM flight arrived safely at 5:00 AM the following morning. That was not my plan, nor was it any of the other 175 people on that itinerary! Hmmmmm...what to do!?! You've likely been there...a flight was just cancelled, you have a flat tire, someone is sick, or your meeting was moved and traffic is heavy, right?

These are not joy-filled moments or situations. We are not loving these circumstances, and yet if we let "not loving it" turn to negativity, the whole experience, attitude, and event he day can be ruined - not by the happenings, rather by how we allow the happenings to impact us!

How do we shift to a mindset of positivity in a negative situation? 

It's not easy, and yet here are a few simple ideas for processing out of "Ugh!" to "Okay - this will work!"!

1. Once you know things are not good, let there be a moment of disappointment. That's real, and being positive is not about being fake or ignoring reality.through the way you carried that mindset forward!
2. Close your eyes and picture something positive. Smile at what you are thinking about. With that smile on your face, open your eyes and think of one thing you can do to change your "now", and move toward a future that is less negative.
3. Think about 24 hours from that moment, and how different things will be. Create a plan for now-to-then.
4. Communicate to those impacted about the new plans, rather than the current situation.
5. Move away from those who are negative (if physically around them, or away in communication, if they are at a distance). Resist engaging in other's disappointment or despair, and/or attempting to "correct" or "fix" their mindset.
6. Fill the time or space with something useful and/or positively distracting. Be appreciative of what you have as you respect what you may not have (time, money, control of certain things) in that particular situation.
7. Focus on the end result and check back in on anything you can do to advance toward that.
8. Plan for ways to avoid these things/people in the future.
9. Be grateful for moving forward (even if it is slow or taxing on time/energy at moments).
10. Take breaths and walks for changes of position and scenery in order to keep grounded and focused.

I just did this in the Dallas Airport when a flight was delayed 7 times, we boarded and deplaned, and my arrival was a day later than expected, and yet two hours before my next engagement. Things went well, and my energy level for my second all-day presentation was good.

Similarly, when you shift your mindset to positivity, you aren't removed from the disappointment or change, rather you decide how to accept it and move through it to a new situation for ownership of your energy and outlook. And, with those 10 steps, you just may lead by example for those caught up in the negativity around you!