Moving Through...

My attitude has always been, if you fall flat on your face, at least you're moving forward. All you have to do is get back up and try again. 
~ Richard Branson

A while back, a LUNDBERGism shared was all about letting go versus moving through, and how there is no such thing as Elsa's FROZEN approach, and that song, while catchy, is a fantasy.

We do not simply "let it go", and suggesting people, or yourself, do that, simply let it go, is not only wishful, it is nearly impossible. 

How so? Here's a more thorough explanation for your consideration:

The ideal universe where everything is dismissable is something that lives in our imagination, yet our hearts and minds know that the reality is that of thoroughly moving through a relationship, experience, thrill, or disappointment.

Easier said than done, though, is moving through what is happening, conceptually and experientially.

It's tempting to simply say "I don't care" or "Who cares?", and act as though something has been let go, the reality of moving through includes:

1) Experiencing and feeling what is happening, and owning those doubts and beliefs

2) Processing what has occurred either is or is not what was anticipated, and what some of the outcomes may be

3) Realizing you have choices to vet and consider in how you respond, not react to what is at hand (which may involve sharing with a trusted confidant, and definitely is not about telling "everyone who will listen or taking to social media immediately)

4) Implementing the steps that will serve you best for your peace of mind, reputation, and footing for the future

These may all combine to look and feel like four steps for when something failed, and yet they really are also good for celebrating with gratitude and confidence rather than blowing it out and looking cocky or insensitive, too. We don't often want to "let it go" when we win something, and still there are times when you want to move past a label or client association, solely, and be a broader offering or business, so that is when the success side of moving through a situation or relationship comes into play.

Regardless of how catchy that song Idina Menzel song, and all the awards "Let It Go" is, here we are...and the cold truth of moving through can, in fact, become something that indeed "never bothered you anyway"!!!

Building Self-Esteem through Feedback

 Fairly often people say to me "I am afraid to give any feedback anymore" or "Our employees cannot take feedback - they don't want it!".

While it may feel like one or both of those statements is what you are thinking or living, those statements are polarizing, and they will not advance relationships and/or businesses.

Instead of thinking about the negative side of feedback, please think about the positive side of it, and how feedback delivered properly, and therefore, received well, can build self-esteem.

We often talk about, focus on, and encourage/demand self-confidence, yet self-confidence is circumstantial, where self-esteem is at someone's core. For example, I have high self-esteem, belief in my ability to understand, present well, learn, and grow. That does not go away. I have high self-confidence in speaking, coaching, golfing, and hosting events because, in those environments, I have the exposure, the experience, and the expertise that provide me with many ways to contribute.

The realities related to self-esteem and self-confidence are many, and two of them are that self-esteem is something we can coach to about a person, and self-confidence is gained by layering it on circumstantially, specifically, on top of self-esteem. So, giving feedback is key to raising self-esteem, and eventually, self-confidence for most people.

An approach to providing feedback to build self-esteem is to follow these steps/approaches:

1) Be clear that your idea-sharing is feedback to move forward.

2) Share that your ideas are coaching, not criticism.

3) Ensure that feedback is a loop and not only 1-way.

4) Ask and respect how each person with whom you are engaging prefers feedback: in writing, in-person, immediately, at scheduled times.

5) Learn the type of coaching each person seeks: written to understand on their own, shown & left to their own ways to practice, shown, then they do it, or working on it collaboratively start-to-finish.

6) State a goal for a coaching and/or feedback session with the person receiving the coaching and/or feedback.

7) Importantly, close out the session by asking and hearing how the person feels, thinks, and wants to move forward.

This type of feedback is the way to build self-esteem for the person, which then can be a foundation for building self-confidence in situations and in areas of experience. And, when we focus on self-esteem, the whole person is included, and that is what/who we bring to each relationship and work assignment, after all!

The Power of Positivity

"Positivity, confidence, and persistence are key in life, so never give up on yourself."
~ Khalid

Over the years, at various times, positivity has been seen as a strength, and at other times, positivity has been viewed as a weakness.

Trends are intriguing and often fleeting.

This is not about an approach to "try", rather, it is about the purposeful effort to be optimistic and realistic while working through situations and with people in a positive manner a human being and as a leader (of self and/or others).

Positivity in this case, and hopefully in all cases, is only worthwhile and effective if it is sincere, from a place of betterment and a forward-thinking approach to whatever is at hand.

With that in mind, the following 10 positive approaches to life and leadership, ways to STOP and replace with a GO instead, are ways to enhance you and your approach to your relationships and engagements:

10 - Stop the “fake it ‘til you make it”, Go for “Make it about right now ‘til you make it to the next day or situation or person”

 9 - Stop attempting to please everyone, Go for enjoying life and being YOUR best

 8 - Stop the “Let me know what I can do…”, Go for the specific offer of what you are offering to do

 7 - Stop the posting of data, Go for sharing of interesting information with how it can impact others positively

 6 - Stop the disappointment based on assumptions, Go for setting expectations with others to know where you stand and where you can anticipate going

 5 - Stop making people feel defensive, Go for creating conversation by using What and How questions in place of Why questions

 4 - Stop starting emails and updates with “I”, Go for being about the audience, using BASICs (Because, Appreciating, Since, In order to, Considering/Respecting, all with a smile)

 3 - Stop being jealous, Go for being happy for the other person

 2 - Stop gossiping after the fact or behind someone's back, Go for gathering and addressing what is at hand directly with who is involved

 1 - Stop wondering how will this look to others, Go for thinking about what feels best in the moment and what is best for the situation

When you are true to these positions and commitments, your positivity becomes who you are and what your personal being and brand represent as a part of your demeanor and part of your approach to life and business over a strategy or positioning.