Mindset Shift to Positivity

"You try something, it doesn't work, and maybe people even criticize you. In a fixed mindset, you say, 'I tried this, it's over.' In a growth mindset, you look for what you've learned." 

~ Carol S. Dweck

American Educator.

(b. 1946)

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Recently, my expected 10:00 PM flight arrived safely at 5:00 AM the following morning. That was not my plan, nor was it any of the other 175 people on that itinerary! Hmmmmm...what to do!?! You've likely been there...a flight was just cancelled, you have a flat tire, someone is sick, or your meeting was moved and traffic is heavy, right?

These are not joy-filled moments or situations. We are not loving these circumstances, and yet if we let "not loving it" turn to negativity, the whole experience, attitude, and event he day can be ruined - not by the happenings, rather by how we allow the happenings to impact us!

How do we shift to a mindset of positivity in a negative situation? 

It's not easy, and yet here are a few simple ideas for processing out of "Ugh!" to "Okay - this will work!"!

1. Once you know things are not good, let there be a moment of disappointment. That's real, and being positive is not about being fake or ignoring reality.through the way you carried that mindset forward!
2. Close your eyes and picture something positive. Smile at what you are thinking about. With that smile on your face, open your eyes and think of one thing you can do to change your "now", and move toward a future that is less negative.
3. Think about 24 hours from that moment, and how different things will be. Create a plan for now-to-then.
4. Communicate to those impacted about the new plans, rather than the current situation.
5. Move away from those who are negative (if physically around them, or away in communication, if they are at a distance). Resist engaging in other's disappointment or despair, and/or attempting to "correct" or "fix" their mindset.
6. Fill the time or space with something useful and/or positively distracting. Be appreciative of what you have as you respect what you may not have (time, money, control of certain things) in that particular situation.
7. Focus on the end result and check back in on anything you can do to advance toward that.
8. Plan for ways to avoid these things/people in the future.
9. Be grateful for moving forward (even if it is slow or taxing on time/energy at moments).
10. Take breaths and walks for changes of position and scenery in order to keep grounded and focused.

I just did this in the Dallas Airport when a flight was delayed 7 times, we boarded and deplaned, and my arrival was a day later than expected, and yet two hours before my next engagement. Things went well, and my energy level for my second all-day presentation was good.

Similarly, when you shift your mindset to positivity, you aren't removed from the disappointment or change, rather you decide how to accept it and move through it to a new situation for ownership of your energy and outlook. And, with those 10 steps, you just may lead by example for those caught up in the negativity around you!

TREAT Yourself to Happiness

Happiness doesn't depend on any external conditions, it is governed by our mental attitude." 

~ Dale Carnegie

American Businessman & Writer.

 (1888 - 1955)

According to Kira M. Newman, who writes for Greater Good, there are 6 Scientific Facts That Link Happiness with Good Health, including:

• HAPPINESS PROTECTS YOUR HEART. 
• HAPPINESS STRENGTHENS YOUR IMMUNE SYSTEM. 
• HAPPINESS COMBATS STRESS.
• HAPPY PEOPLE HAVE FEWER ACHES AND PAINS.
• HAPPINESS COMBATS DISEASE AND DISABILITY.
• HAPPINESS LENGTHENS OUR LIVES.

With those happiness benefits in mind, here's how through your own actions you can treat yourself to times of happiness:

• Make a list of no to low cost activities that bring you joy (joy is an enhancement of happiness), and pull three a week from a jar where you've placed these activities from your list, and schedule time for each of those treats of joy-filled happiness
• Schedule a personal phone call with one of your best friends who is also happy. When you schedule it, it becomes a priority and there is less phone-tag, and more likely happy laughter and sharing
• Drive a path of nature or beauty in your mind, and while staying focused on your journey, strive to see something new or light in spirit to treat yourself to some happy bonus time
• Meditate about happiness and the thoughts, feelings, words and actions that create that sense for you
• Decide you'll be happy in your words and actions at the beginning of the day, and then record your happiest moments, with gratitude, at the end of the day. Read the list from yesterday upon waking each day.
• Smile, and watch who smiles back. The simple act of kindness begets much kindness

These, and other intentional focuses on happiness may not wipe away all heartache and concern, and yet with these, the heart can pump some energy, and our concerns may get complimented by ideas to combat those low points.

Since happiness has value, and little cost, there's few or no reasons not to treat yourself to a little this Halloween...and throughout the upcoming months!

Mindedness...Open or Closed?

"A great many people think they are thinking when they are just rearranging their prejudices." ~ William James

There is a funny expression shown on bumper stickers and t-shirts that reads "A mind is like a parachute...it only functions when open", and having been an active skydiver in years past, I was drawn to it for the sport. Once again, in this 4th quarter, with people feeling budget crunches, year-end sales deadlines, and the elections coming, I am reminded of it internally, and now sharing here with you externally for the application of the thought versus the funny of the expression. After all, it's funny because it's true.

Remember, under pressure, we do not do what is right, rather, we do what we know. What do you know to do? Have you learned to be open-minded or closed minded?
A good assessment of how open-minded you are is to reflect on how many times you have said something like "good point, I hadn't considered that" versus the frequency of your saying "you just don't understand". It's the former that keeps us open, and the latter...not so much...


So, remind yourself to say something like "that's interesting, I'll consider it", or other expressions like the one above, and then do it...that is, if you are leaning toward wanting your parachute, or rather you mind, open!!

Thinking Before Speaking?

“Love and doubt have never been on speaking terms.”~ Kahlil Gibran

Many people say “think before you speak”, but what is it that we should be thinking? Perhaps you’ll think about:

1. Staying true to yourself
2. Considering the value of announcing your view...is it for sharing, growing or learning, or is it just for shock value or to “be talking”3. Knowing your audience
4. Deciding if what you said were a headline with your name and photo on the front page of every newspaper and website, would you still say it5. Being prepared to accept the consequences of your actions/ideas/words (good or bad)

If all those are in check, then you will likely not be surprised by the responses or backpedaling from your words later.