"You try something, it doesn't work, and maybe people even criticize you. In a fixed mindset, you say, 'I tried this, it's over.' In a growth mindset, you look for what you've learned."
~ Carol S. Dweck
American Educator.
(b. 1946)
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Recently, my expected 10:00 PM flight arrived safely at 5:00 AM the following morning. That was not my plan, nor was it any of the other 175 people on that itinerary! Hmmmmm...what to do!?! You've likely been there...a flight was just cancelled, you have a flat tire, someone is sick, or your meeting was moved and traffic is heavy, right?
These are not joy-filled moments or situations. We are not loving these circumstances, and yet if we let "not loving it" turn to negativity, the whole experience, attitude, and event he day can be ruined - not by the happenings, rather by how we allow the happenings to impact us!
How do we shift to a mindset of positivity in a negative situation?
It's not easy, and yet here are a few simple ideas for processing out of "Ugh!" to "Okay - this will work!"!
- Once you know things are not good, let there be a moment of disappointment. That's real, and being positive is not about being fake or ignoring reality.through the way you carried that mindset forward!
- Close your eyes and picture something positive. Smile at what you are thinking about. With that smile on your face, open your eyes and think of one thing you can do to change your "now", and move toward a future that is less negative.
- Think about 24 hours from that moment, and how different things will be. Create a plan for now-to-then.
- Communicate to those impacted about the new plans, rather than the current situation.
- Move away from those who are negative (if physically around them, or away in communication, if they are at a distance). Resist engaging in other's disappointment or despair, and/or attempting to "correct" or "fix" their mindset.
- Fill the time or space with something useful and/or positively distracting. Be appreciative of what you have as you respect what you may not have (time, money, control of certain things) in that particular situation.
- Focus on the end result and check back in on anything you can do to advance toward that.
- Plan for ways to avoid these things/people in the future.
- Be grateful for moving forward (even if it is slow or taxing on time/energy at moments).
- Take breaths and walks for changes of position and scenery in order to keep grounded and focused.
I just did this in the Dallas Airport when a flight was delayed 7 times, we boarded and deplaned, and my arrival was a day later than expected, and yet two hours before my next engagement. Things went well, and my energy level for my second all-day presentation was good.
Similarly, when you shift your mindset to positivity, you aren't removed from the disappointment or change, rather you decide how to accept it and move through it to a new situation for ownership of your energy and outlook. And, with those 10 steps, you just may lead by example for those caught up in the negativity around you!