Public Speaking Tip: Correcting Someone In Others' Presence

"Correcting bad habits cannot be done by forbidding or punishment."
~ Robert Baden-Powell

There you are in a meeting when someone states something completely incorrectly. What to do? Ignore it? Tell others? Shout out the right answer or information?

While none of those are recommended, or likely effective, or good for your reputation and rapport with that person, and others, there is a solution...or two!

When you hear someone state something that is incorrect, HELP them and the situation humbly and subtly by making sure you:

H - Heard them correctly by repeating it back, and allowing them to restate or back off, and then 

E - Encouraging them to explore what that information could do or not do if more is not considered, then 

L - List other options by leading them to an improved statement or suggestion, and finally

P - Provide encouragement and collaboration for moving forward.

It will look something like this:

Pat states sales were only down 2% and that slow marketing has the projections behind when you checked that all marketing and promotions ran as planned and that sales are down 20%.

You may think "Oh no - that's way off!!", yet you say:

"Thanks for sharing that information, Pat. Please forgive me if I heard the information incorrectly, as it sounded like sales were only down 2%." Pat may or may not agree. If Pat realizes 2% was stated and 20% was the real number, you are done, and if Pat stays with it, you then say "You likely had information from earlier in the month before our final numbers were out, and that is before some other drastic drops happened. There are a lot of reports, and very recently a new report came out that I happened to get to see. Some of the options for looking at the sales are by months, by region, or by product line, and with those breakdowns, unfortunately, we will all be seeing a 20% decrease in sales after our marketing efforts went off as scheduled. I am here to assist with how you want to address that 20% decrease with strategy, sales reviews, or a joint session with marketing."

By being direct, calm, and open while not ignoring, talking with others later, or shouting, you will allow someone to save face, you build trust, and together, you can create a solution!

#PublicSpeaking #ProfessionalDevelopment #PersonalDevelopment #Kind #Leadership

Lessons Learned from "Hacking" Life!

Being resourceful, scrappy, and even creative was not new in 2020, and yet being restrictive in where I went to stay safe and keep myself challenged, or overcoming challenges was different!

From those altered situations came some ingenuity, or at least some "punting" when faced with a lack of resources or an interest in a new approach to doing or solving something. Some even reminded me of previous hacks that have become habits, and they are each worth presenting for your consumption. After all, aren't all learnings best when shared for other people's benefit?

• LIFE HACK: Shoes smelling stinky or the linings getting misshapen? Doing 10,000 steps before sunrise for 100 days, and now a marathon of miles every week, my feet sweat, which causes both odor and wetness, and as a result, messed up shoe linings or arch supports unless you do this: Before putting on your socks, tights or shoes without socks or tights for work or for play, swipe or spray your favorite clear deodorant on your feet in order to save your shoes and keep your confidence high for removing them without odor or wetness hesitation!
• LIFE HACK: Looking to practice a physically-distanced presentation at a podium without a podium at your remote work office for your run-throughs? While I am not a fan of using a podium, other than for a commencement address, they are making a comeback as part of safety protocols. To practice remotely, and/or in your home, use a large Amazon box, a paper ream box, or even a box from a case of bottled beer positioned length-wise, and there you go, you have a podium! Delivering that talk standing on a virtual meeting, and still no podium for notes? You can either put large print notes around the outside of your screen above the camera to keep eye contact up, or wrap the box in brown paper (available online in a roll), and put your company logo on the front, so the podium-effect carries across the on-line meeting!
• LIFE HACK: Rough feet or hands? Having only had one professional pedicure, and no professional manicures in 2020, and still getting dressed head-to-toe for remote work each day, my hands and feet were not looking their best! The solution? Put Vicks Vapor Rub, or the generic equivalent, on in generous amounts before bed, and for your hands, use old gloves or mittens, and for your feet, use socks you no longer want, and cover them. In the morning, you will find all the little cracks diminished or gone, and once you dispose of the gloves or socks, you'll likely have the added benefit of noticing that you have clear sinuses as well! (Bonus hack is that if you are painting your own nails and/or toenails, shower with a washcloth or scrubby about an hour after the fast-dry topcoat is applied, and the excess around your fingers and toes will soften and you can quickly remove anything around the nailbed while the skin is soft.)
• LIFE HACK: Too much gift bag to fill? I discovered this quite by accident and through my resolve when wrapping gifts in the early hours with a dwindling supply of tissue paper and leftover tablecloths from the prior week's in-home room-by-room-themed pub crawl. What to do? When you have a large gift and a large gift bag, instead of using 2 or more packages of decorative tissue paper to fill the space & cover the gift, use one Dollar Tree disposable, lined tablecloth to create a cute look while filling the bag for only a dollar!
• LIFE HACK: At the end of your lipstick or ChapStick with some left below the surface? The lipstick I love was discontinued, and having many tubes in various places, it seemed there was a lot getting wasted when disposing of the tube with about 1/6 of it below the line of sight once the tube was fully extended yet part was below where it could not reach my lips. How to fix that pout without pouting over wasted lipstick or ChapStick? Using a cotton swab, you can scoop out the remaining lipstick or chapstick, and if you have any small container with a lid, that becomes your new container for it all, and you can use a cotton swab or your finger for applying what is now your new-found supply of lipstick or ChapStick! (Bonus hack is that you can put the lipstick, lip balm, or even sunscreen or foundation in a small contact lens holder for compact, flat storage, and carrying.)
• LIFE HACK: Want to send flowers last minute within 2 hours? The idea of Christmas flowers following some news from a family member felt like they'd brighten that person's day, and yet it was too late to get a local florist to deliver. I love supporting local florists and do often. This day, though, I got creative by logging onto Publix (a grocery chain I knew was in the area) and selected a floral arrangement and a vase to be delivered (she had vases, so I could have skipped the vase). While there was no card with it, the process was outstanding and was less than half with tax and tip. In order to ensure the delivery was smooth, I messaged the recipient to ensure she'd be at home, and they sent a text message to check out front. When she got them, it was a beautiful exchange of surprise and appreciation for how fast that happened! I'll surely still honor the expertise of local florists in the future AND in quick turn-around times will use delivery services through grocery outlets!

The lessons learned over the past years were meant to assist you with some quick or convenient changes or considerations, and hopefully this LIFE HACK edition carried that forward with a twist. While these life hacks were new to me the first time I thought to "hack" the way shared above, I present them not for credit, for, admittedly, they could be something common that I never heard of, or they could be unique based on my experience, and either way, here's to happily hacking life and enjoying the results with some fun!

Lessons Learned from Being SAD (Social At a Distance) and Not Sad!

Please know this is not a complaint.

Being physically distant is important currently.

Being socially distant is something that is negatively impacting people's lives, emotions, and their outlook.

From the late part of March, I have encouraged people to use the expression "Social At a Distance" rather than calling our recommended physical separation "Social Distancing". While these are similar words, the impact can be much different from one to the other.

Still, while this may encourage you to rephrase the concept, I also reflect on what Social At a Distance also can mean - being SAD. Hmmmm...when someone is sad, are they wrong to be or feel that way? No. So, when someone is SAD, are they wrong to be or feel that way? Some say yes. Still, I feel like we are doing what we can by remaining Social At a Distance, and here are some lessons I have learned from the experience:

• Eyes are expressive and making eye contact on video or in person, really makes a difference in engagement - at any distance
• Words matter, so speaking to people and acknowledging them, even with a "Hello" or "Good Morning" has a positive impact
• Leaving a message or sending a text or email asking for nothing and yet sharing that the person is on your mind and you wish them well, can make someone feel less lonely than without it
• A driveway hello or masked engagement is replacing a hug or a handshake, and while they are different than we'd like, they a special, too.
• Walk and talk meetings have the benefits of being distanced while covering distance, and that may be a standard approach to meetings moving forward
• Embracing the reason for being Social At a Distance means keeping the future in mind during this present change in behavior

With these lessons learned in mind, it keeps me happy, or at least positive, about being SAD versus being sad about the situation!

Being Your Own Biggest Fan!

"Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy."

 ~ Norman Vincent Peale 

American Clergyman/Speaker.

(1898 - 1993)

Sure, it's great to get kudos, thanks, and accolades for work or words well-done, and yet relying on others' views and shared opinions of you can leave you feeling dependent, or worse yet, desperate, for that feedback.

How do we overcome that desire to get input and hear praise? While we may not ever not seek feedback, after all, it is good for us, we can share insights and good cheer from within in an effort to support and supplement, and dare to be the foundation, to good vibes, and therefore, good self-esteem. Being our own biggest fan can be done without conceit or vanity, rather for good health and well being by doing the following:

• Practicing GRATITUDE. By being thankful for what we have we are reminding ourselves of the good in our world/life.
• Taking a POWER STANCE each day. These were shared most widely in the Ted Talk by Amy Cuddy. Opening up to a Superman/Wonder Woman type stance for two minutes can empower our energy to be confident. https://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are?language=en
• Have a MANTRA. I have the mantra "I want, I will, I am", which has been shared in previous updates. Think "I want _____ (a desired outcome), and I will _____ (an action to take), because I am _______ (characteristic or attribute about self)." An example is "I want to be on time for meetings and clients today, so I will tend to my directions for the entire day while planning, because I am a conscientious collaborator and partner." A mantra sets you up to "be" based on your own abilities.
• Give yourself a PERSONAL PEP TALK. Something that says "You've got this!". Talk to yourself and use your name. Once I share to myself if "You've got this, Deb. You know what you are doing, prepared for success, and you're going to deliver what the audience wants and deserves. Enjoy it!"
• Develop a CEO of MEO mission statement, meaning be the Chief Empowerment Officer of My Every Opportunity. My current CEO of MEO is: "I am a lean, pristine, high-performing human being bringing positivity to people, situations and choices in order to be present and live life fully"! This form of I AM statement commands attention from the strengths you have toward the now and the future.
• Write your future state in a paragraph as though it is an article about you now. Use third person to take a view from afar while getting into up-close details.
• Meditate and let go of stress that is not serving you well.
• Shift from poor-serving habits with well-serving habits. Simply giving things up can seem like punishment, so exchange those habits with something positive and see how the pivot makes the change a direction and not detrimental.
• Replace "Have to, Need to, Should, Ought to" with "I want, I will, I am, I am in the process of" to focus on what you are processing for progress rather than what you are doing our of obligation.
• Write a compliment on your bathroom mirror to yourself each morning first thing so that you'll see it all day long and appreciate you being you!

Some things may seem small, and they are. Some things may seem simple, and they are. Some things may seem silly, and they are NOT! Investing in your belief, reflection, support and confidence is anything other than silly, and everything around smart!

Less "I", "Me", "My", More "You", "Yours, "Ours"

If you think about society, there are a lot of comments about people being self-absorbed. In order to stay away from that perception about your brand or being, then please consider using less "I", "Me", "My", and incorporating more "You", "Yours", "Ours". How so? In written communication, including emails, replace "I hope you are doing well" with "Hopefully you are doing well."  Similarly, when asked your opinion, shift from "For me, my idea is..." to "Since you like X, you may enjoy Y". Additionally, in collaborating, offer "What is best for our situation..." over "What you need to do..." Subtly demonstrating a focus on others will make for a clear message that you want to engage and grow rather than insert and insist!

TAP into Presenting Ideas Positively

When we have an idea, we often want to share it, right?

Other people, though, may not have the same idea, or even be ready to "hear" our thoughts.

What to do?

Please consider these three steps to TAP into Presenting Ideas Positively: Transition, Admission, Position!

T - Transition - Use a word or phrase that is simple and reflects thinking of the other person or people, such as "Considering
 you are looking to...", or "Respecting you have done some research..."
This allows for thought, time and connection.

A - Admission - Give your perspective and own it with something like "I have been thinking about it, too...", or "I am hoping you are open to...
This means you are not dancing around something.

P - Position - Share you idea clearly, in one or two options, without apology or caveats. Something such as "Would you please consider doing X or Y, instead?"
This shows you are asking, not telling,and choices mean you are also open!

When you attempt to TAP into positioning positively, you often don't offend, create conversation, and end on an idea that is workable for all!

The Power of a List

A list is only as strong as its weakest link. - Donald Knuth, American Scientist (b. 1938)

Some of you are really good at making lists...especially "to-do" lists! There is some satisfaction in crossing things off the list for many people. Believe it or not, there are those among us who add things to the "to do" list after having done them...just to get to cross them off the list! Imagine that...

Lists can be good, they serve a purpose in some ways...and only for a certain amount of time. The power of a list is to take each "to-do", and give it a place. Once you make a list, get out your calendar and schedule each item. Even if the schedule takes you into next year or beyond, put those things in their place.

A list without a time and place to do each thing on it, is just your subconscious wondering when, when, when!!!

If we continue to make lists, and more lists, and different lists, we attempt to get organized, and what we really do is potentially fry our minds. Go ahead, make that "to-do" list, and then, right after it, schedule when and where you are going to accomplish those things, and then destroy the sheet on which you wrote your list...and then watch your "to-do"s become the catalyst(s) for action, and the first step in results rather than a piece of paper with lines and lines of things you haven't done!

4 E’s to Idea-Sharing

An idea that is developed and put into action is more important than an idea that exists only as an idea.” ~ Buddha, Hindu Prince Gautama Siddharta, the founder of Buddhism, 563-483 B.C.

So often we are in meetings, or sessions where ideas are requested and shared, or not requested, yet still shared. What makes some of them worthy of hearing out, and others fall on deaf ears, so to speak? Often it is in the approach, the amount of time spent, and the ability to stop talking (or inability to stop talking) about an idea that makes one decide whether or not to listen!

Here are the 4 E’s to Idea-Sharing that just may get your voice heard:
E – Explain. Share the concept briefly and seek acknowledgement. Make sure you have people’s attention first, and you can give the details later. Show enthusiasm, control, direction and passion.
E – Elaborate. Once you have people’s interest, then you can go into more details. A wonderful way to elaborate is with a scenario (what if…), a story of how it has worked in the past, or by bulleting or numbering steps that it would take to put the idea in place.
E – Execution. Demonstrate the realm of executing your idea. Include people, time, budgets and more quickly and concisely to give people the sense that this idea can/will become a reality if selected rather than just keeping it a theory.
E – Exit. Allow the idea to be tabled, considered at a later time, or dropped. The worst thing is “selling through the close”, when someone keeps going on and on when an idea has been adopted or quelled and the originator of the idea simply will not let the conversation end. Note the body language, temperature and interest while you are speaking and note when enough is enough.

By following the 4 E’s to idea-sharing, it does not mean each idea will be implemented, rather it shows effective communication, a professional approach, and respect for the time of the listeners…and likely that means more of your ideas will get heard rather than seem like fleeting ideas for others when you get to your next meeting or brain-storming session!

The Enemy of TLC...

“Competition is easier to accept if you realize it is not an act of oppression or abrasion - I've worked with my best friends in direct competition.” - Diane Sawyer quotes (American news anchor, Reporter and Journalist, b.1945)

While all champions have rivals, and most successful companies and people have competitors, those types of opposites or contrary positions can be invigorating and drive the results...for both sides!

The same is not true for being opposed to TLC. Since we have embraced TLC as Talent, Leadership and Commitment, those three contributors often have opposition, too...only that opposition is the enemy...not something that drives and inspires, rather something that works to deplete or delete the opposite.
The enemy of talent is dishonesty, the enemy of leadership is pessimism, and the enemy of commitment is apathy. Stick with your Talent, Leadership and Commitment...it is the combination to win over dishonesty, pessimism and apathy every time.

Ensure you are staying true to your talents, and your quest for talent, to your leadership and your development of other leaders, and your commitment and the commitment of those with whom you surround yourself.

Your Idea SPACE Approach

“An idea that is developed and put into action is more important than an idea that exists only as an idea.” ~ Buddha

You live in a world of ideas.

How are you at Sharing, Persuading, Asking, Collaborating and Executing such ideas?

Consider the Idea SPACE approach of:

•Share what the issue is or need at hand as well as what a win/success would be.
•Persuade others to interest with stories and examples.
•Ask if you missed anything to get clarification and on the same page.
•Collaborate together on a firm, sound work-able solution.
•Execute what was decided with tracking and accountability.

As an Entrepreneur, new leader, or established pro, if you make idea SPACE part of your process, effective communication and action will be part of your lasting impression, sales, recognition and results!

Basic #1: The Suggestion Box

"Putting pen to paper lights more fire than matches ever will."
-Malcolm Forbes

The Suggestion Box

We’ve advanced. We’ve gotten high tech. We are sophisticated, integrated, and sometimes over-stimulated in the workplace.

This is a time to take a look at the basics, and ensure some subtleties and sound ideas are not being overlooked. The concept of “the right people send the right message to the right customers for the right partnerships and the right wins for both” has a lot of aspects to it, and in the next few weeks, it’s an opportunity to take a look back, a look around and a look to the future…full of basics!

Basic #1: The Suggestion Box
It’s terrific to have a process that has a lot of input and review, formatting and forming opinion within the team, group or full company. Still, the simple idea of a suggestion box is where a lot of lasting ideas originated…and it took a form, a signature, an idea, and feedback…

Suggestion boxes are fast to implement since they take little planning, and/or space/time. Suggestion boxes allow most all involved in your business/practice to make their contributions and share thoughts that they might not be comfortable/confident to share in a group. Boxes can be placed in production facilities and in retail stores, and in any office area, providing a low-cost, high-touch means of collecting ideas!

Ensure you have a few, very few, guidelines in place, such as:
Everyone from team members to clients and vendors are included.
The simple form has less than 10 required responses with the name and signature of the submitter included, and is hand-written.
Reward cost-saving ideas with a percentage of savings for a set amount of time.
Reward leaders who encourage people to contribute.
Have the ideas published/posted.
Get a group involved for reviewing/assessing, and keep a firm timeline for responding.
Announce the program fully and stick with it.
Have contests for implementable winning ideas.
Others you deem appropriate.

You may keep the box for a long or short time. Put a test-drive date on the idea, and see where it goes. If this is not a basic that works well at your place of business, you’ll not have failed at suggestions; rather you will have learned that isn’t a process to use where you are. This will cost you almost nothing, and the ideas you get just might be priceless…

Re-engaged Commitment in 4 Easy Steps

"Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes; but no plans."
~ Peter F. Drucker

Re-Engaged Commitment in 4 Easy Steps

Here we are in 2009 already! If you are seeing challenges in people being committed fully to school, the family, work or the team, consider these four steps (in order) to re-engage and get results:

1) Take time to look back. Allowing people to briefly discuss the good and the bad of the past year (rather than the "bury your head in the sand about the economy" approach far too many are taking...or worse yet, the "sky is falling, let's complain, complain, complain approach) will make it known that you are aware, that you care, and that you are willing to listen and share.

2) Project long and short-term results. The long term, big picture, will keep things in mind, and the weekly or bi-weekly goals will allow perspective, accomplishment and a sense of reward for efforts made.

3) Get the input from all. When your family or your team is going forward with a trip or a project, they may not be the decision makers, but you can sincerely find a way to allow their input to matter and be seen in the end. Consider asking for a theme idea for a trip with the family and ask colleagues and team members at work for the pros and cons...the potential pitfalls and winner circle moments. Make sure you listen and learn, as you are likely to hear something you have not considered.

4) Reflect on the day/week/month/quarter with what went well and what can/will be improved. Celebrate successes and head off potential disasters with open communication and planning.

Through taking time to look back, projecting long and short-term results, getting input from all involved, and reflecting on the time frames consistently, you will get re-engagement and productive, communicative family, team or group members in 2009!

Have a question about your career or other things in your life that you think would be a great topic for a tip? Suggest it, please by emailing me directly to Debbie@DebbieLundberg.com!