Ask, Don't Assume

With technology making staying in touch readily available and accessible, and that can be great, what isn't great is when someone assumes how to contact you and/or pay you.
 
When you meet someone with whom you want to engage, ask him or her "If it is appropriate, I'll follow-through on our conversation...would you prefer a call, text or email?", and then use that preferred method.
 
Similarly, when paying for services or splitting a charge with someone, ask what form of payment works best, as there are many, so saying something similar to "Okay, so I owe you $XX, and I'll get you that by tomorrow. Do you prefer Zelle, PayPal, Venmo, or ApplePay?" is smart, as not everyone uses all forms of payment, and if not set up, have hoops to jump through to access what is rightly his or hers.
 
Asking, and not assuming, works well in life in general. Respecting preferences and noting choices makes for good rapport-building and good relationships, so in contact, payment, and other things, do ask, don't assume!

Control the Controllables!

Life is a series of choices. How we respond to things and people is a choice. We can control ourselves and our responses.

We cannot control others, the weather, or much else,a nd that does not mean we are out of control or uncontrollable!

We can choose to be mindful of our perspective, expectations, joys and disappointments, and that will impact our outcomes. Our outcomes are within our control when we embrace the idea that we control how situations and personalities impact us. Decide to control the controllables within you, and in effect, you are deciding to let go of those whom, and that which, you cannot control!

Control the controllables...choose to control YOU!

Banking on Your Emotional Currency Investment

"The ability to be in the present moment is a major component of mental wellness."

~ Abraham Maslow

American Psychologist

(1908 - 1970)

There are a variety of "currencies" we use daily. We have cash, we have credit, we have time, and we have emotional currency.

In order to "bank" on good things for you, and those you impact, ensure that emotional currency is in tact through the following ten approaches/actions:

#10 - Get your sleep. Resting your mind and your body are ways you can reinvigorate yourself, and keep yourself well as your emotional currency earns interest!
#9 - Assess your habits. Are your habits well-serving, or not? Keep the well-serving habits, and adjust or abandon, change or correct the poor-serving habits.
#8 - Set & Respect Boundaries. Realize what is important, what your "hot buttons" are, and ensure you protect your vulnerabilities while setting boundaries to keep wellness possible and probable.
#7 - Unplug. You can live without devices...and by minimally doing so for an hour each day, you will truly connect with who you are with and what you are doing.
#6 - Have an outlet. If you like yoga, walking, running, collecting stamps, or something else, find something that takes you away from your stressors, distractors and otherwise non-grounding thoughts and actions.
#5 - Say no. Sure, say "Yes" when the opportunity and your interest and time align. Say "No" when they do not. There is no reason to explain your "No", and adding "thank you" after the "No", may make the rejection of the offer/idea, even more comfortable to say.
#4 - Practice positive self-talk. Ensure you are not saying to yourself "I'm so dumb" or "I don't know if I can do it", as your external speak is tremendously important, and your self talk is 10 times more important, as you set yourself up for success and forward momentum with the well-serving self talk. Your emotions, and therefore, your emotional bank, gets filled and/or depleted by others, and you!
#3 - Talk it out. Having someone who you trust for getting positive discussion and perspective is huge. With that person, or people, to offer realistic engagement, if you are going to talk about challenges, please have a "vent vacuum" whereby you only keep the griping to only a few moments (set a timer), and that you turn things around with, and for, positivity.
#2 - CARE. Use your Communication, Appreciation, REciprocation, and Expectations in being well, and using your emotional currency in a positive effort.
#1 - Know you are now, and always will be, more than what you do for a living. What you do is important, and who you are is more important!

To get, be, and stay well, use your emotions, and your bank of this currency to "buy" yourself the opportunity to be get there...with an investment in you!!

Being Your VOICE

"We speak in order to be heard and need to be heard in order to be understood."

~ R. Jakobson and L. Waugh

1979

The Sound Shape of Language

The desire to be heard lives in most of us. The way to be heard is to share. Some of us want our desires or ideas to be known, and yet those wishes may seem unknown, or simply unheard.

It is important we are true to ourselves and share our thoughts in a way that we can feel validated and think we have done our best.

A way to be that is to focus on, and live toward being your VOICE, meaning:
V - Verbalization
O - Ownership
I - Inclusion
C - Communication
E - Execution
VERBALIZING concepts to others and to ourselves is imperative. We must say things in order to have a chance to be heard. Asking questions in "What?" and "How?" format over "Why?" is a start at making a huge difference in the long run. Remaining positive about  your own capabilities, having believe in self talk, is a way to continue that verbalization that empowers.
How you OWN your opportunities and mistakes matters in sharing your voice. Excuses get you distanced from others, where ownership and acknowledgement of missteps shows transparency and vulnerability. We all make mistakes. The way to truly own those mistakes is to face them, learn from them, and not make that same mistake again.
INCLUSION is tricky, in that selecting those with whom you can talk openly can seem inclusive at first, and yet it can be exclusionary in the long run. Cliques don't garder others hearing you, rather the inclusion of people, groups and any others impacted by your message, approach, or decision, means openness and transparency...along with allowing people to know they are being considered. People listen to others who have compassion for them.
Being a COMMUNICATOR in words, body language, attitude and desired outcomes all play into being heard. Your voice is what is said (covered mostly in verbalization) as well as what is not said. People will heard what is spoken and interpret what is unspoken. You communicate all day in may ways. Be worth listening to.
In order to EXECUTE all of the above-mentioned approaches, they cannot be theoretical, rather you will want to combine them not for the sake of completion, but for the sake of having a true voice in mind, spirit and delivery.

When you verbalize, own, include, communicate, and execute your VOICE, then, with confidence, conviction and impact, your VOICE can be heard!