Embracing Ownership Over Ego

 "Your ego can become an obstacle to your work. If you start believing in your greatness, it is the death of your creativity."

~ Marina Abramovic

Where it can be tempting to feel slighted and express that disappointment in an effort to seek other's agreement when things do not go as planned, acting on that urge is not only often quite defeating, it is the unfortunate act of embracing a victim mentality that does not serve us well.

What to do? Stop the temptation? Change the feeling?

The fast answers are quick yeses, and yet it is not easy, or easily accomplished. It is, though, as simple as deciding not to do it...and then honoring your decision, and wait, there's more!

Breaking it down, the full response includes evoking reasons instead of excuses, acting on rational behaviors versus believing rationalizations, AND ultimately embracing ownership over ego!

Reason instead of excuses means you focus on being present in what is happening when it is happening, speaking your mind and position in deliberate intention of being a contributor and supporter of what is best. You offer reason, and therefore the behaviors are reasonable, and the responses to you are reasonable. If this does not happen, and you wait until after something is happening or has happened, you will talk and act in excuse language and want people to excuse your inaction previously, or your sudden idea-sharing now. When you excuse your lack of commitment, you become exposed to those who took action, and therefore, your lack of commitment is inexcusable.

Acting on rational behaviors versus believing rationalizations works positively by recognizing your emotional discomfort and allowing yourself to feel those feels and then move to what is real versus imagined. You tell yourself the story of what is happening in facts and direction rather than defending (rationalizing) your feeling as "normal" or professing others are being "unreasonable" which both attempt to apply logic to opinion or perspective based in feeling and not fact.

Ultimately, your highest and best challenge will likely be to stay in ownership over ego (or even getting there in the first place)! Asking yourself questions such as "What part did I play in this?", "Is there anything true here?", "What can I do now to move forward productively and purposefully?", "What am I willing to do to move forward?". These questions put you in the ownership mindset, and therefore you are owning your current and future positioning. Ego, unfortunately, wants to whine, blame, and sulk. There is a sense of entitlement in our ego that says, nags or screams "You were wronged", "This is not fair", "Show them!", and yet those urges lead to nothing positive and productive. Ownership is about having a way to see what happened, where you are, and what to do.

Demonstrating and living reason, acting rationally, and taking ownership allows you to be in the mind of a leader, and the mindset of someone who does not allow emotions to detract you, rather emotional intelligence to guide you!

Being Your VOICE

"We speak in order to be heard and need to be heard in order to be understood."

~ R. Jakobson and L. Waugh

1979

The Sound Shape of Language

The desire to be heard lives in most of us. The way to be heard is to share. Some of us want our desires or ideas to be known, and yet those wishes may seem unknown, or simply unheard.

It is important we are true to ourselves and share our thoughts in a way that we can feel validated and think we have done our best.

A way to be that is to focus on, and live toward being your VOICE, meaning:
V - Verbalization
O - Ownership
I - Inclusion
C - Communication
E - Execution
VERBALIZING concepts to others and to ourselves is imperative. We must say things in order to have a chance to be heard. Asking questions in "What?" and "How?" format over "Why?" is a start at making a huge difference in the long run. Remaining positive about  your own capabilities, having believe in self talk, is a way to continue that verbalization that empowers.
How you OWN your opportunities and mistakes matters in sharing your voice. Excuses get you distanced from others, where ownership and acknowledgement of missteps shows transparency and vulnerability. We all make mistakes. The way to truly own those mistakes is to face them, learn from them, and not make that same mistake again.
INCLUSION is tricky, in that selecting those with whom you can talk openly can seem inclusive at first, and yet it can be exclusionary in the long run. Cliques don't garder others hearing you, rather the inclusion of people, groups and any others impacted by your message, approach, or decision, means openness and transparency...along with allowing people to know they are being considered. People listen to others who have compassion for them.
Being a COMMUNICATOR in words, body language, attitude and desired outcomes all play into being heard. Your voice is what is said (covered mostly in verbalization) as well as what is not said. People will heard what is spoken and interpret what is unspoken. You communicate all day in may ways. Be worth listening to.
In order to EXECUTE all of the above-mentioned approaches, they cannot be theoretical, rather you will want to combine them not for the sake of completion, but for the sake of having a true voice in mind, spirit and delivery.

When you verbalize, own, include, communicate, and execute your VOICE, then, with confidence, conviction and impact, your VOICE can be heard!

Know Perspective; Know Ownership; Know Freedom!

"There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them." ~ Denis Waitley, speaker and author

Success in life and in business is both a "no excuses", and a "no blame" mentality. People who know perspective and know ownership also know the freedom from looking back and the freedom to look forward.

Think back to the last time you made an excuse for something or someone, or blamed another person for a situation you were in. I hope that was long ago, and regardless of when it was, what was the ultimate outcome...what did you think...how did you feel? There are not likely a lot of positive feelings, emotions, thoughts or outcomes that come to mind, are there?

Now, remember a time when you made time for assessing your view and perspective, and/or took ownership of a situation you were in. I hope that was recent, and whenever it was, what was the ultimate outcome...what did you think...how did you feel? There are likely a lot of positive feelings, emotions, thoughts or outcomes that come to mind, aren't there?

You were the same person, with the same experience and opportunity in both of those reflections (for the most part), and yet, what was different? Your choices were different. When you chose to make excuses and blame, you were not able to gain perspective or ownership...you were a bit "stuck" in the scenario and time passing to put it in the past. Yet, when you chose to not make excuses and not blame, you were able to gain perspective and ownership...you could move forward, and decide what to learn, when to learn and how to learn...and move onto the future. So, it's up to you, excuses and blame, or perspective and ownership? So for life and business success, let yourself make a choice...choose mindfully, choose consistently, and choose freedom!

What a Difference a Mood Makes!

Being around people often once a week, some individuals I see more often than that. Once thing that is clear is that a mood makes a difference. You are responsible for your mood, and stating "I am in a bad mood" is not good enough. Decide your mood and embrace it. You do not need to be in a good mood, but if you want to be in an open mood or reflective mood, then do that instead. The idea of a good mood and a bad mood makes it look and feel like there are only two. Let your mood be yours and know that you own it, it impacts others to some degree, and that looking back, your mood is not an excuse for how you behaved, rather a reference to what you chose to to/be/have that day!