More Birdies, Less Bogies…How to Keep Your Life On Par

“Golf is deceptively simple and endlessly complicated.” ~ Arnold Palmer

On the heels of enthralling close to the 75th Masters, and with summer drawing near, a golf reference seems timely this week. After all, it’s often been said that life mirrors golf and golf is a reflection of life, so with that in mind, here are 10 ways to shoot for more birdies, less bogies…how to keep your life on par:

10. Consider the full course; the entire hole and not just the shot in front of you. Ensure you are planning and not just playing. Life is about the strategy, the execution, the enjoyment and the results. Life and golf give us obstacles…it is how we avoid or address them that matters in our score and our confidence.
9. Golf is both a physical and mental game; it is not a game of strength, but more of balance, focus and precision. Make time to take care of yourself physically, emotionally and mentally. When you are not at the top of your game, you mishit, misjudge, and often miss out! You must give your life, your family, your colleagues the best of you from the perspective of “you cannot give what you do not have”.
8. Plan to go for challenging shots after you have watched and learned. Have "moxumility"™. Have the moxie to go for an uphill, over the water and trap tee-shot for a chance at a birdie…as long as you have surveyed the course, assessed your swing and game accurately, and have the humility to know it is risky…yet so rewarding when done well! Like in life, with golf, practice doesn’t make perfect, it makes permanent.
7. Enjoy every course, every stroke, every hole, every round. Give fully to the game, and let that experience alone be enough for you right then. Leave everything else behind and be in the game for the game…for you and your full experience. Similar to your daily living, each one is new, fresh, and all yours…what clubs or words will you choose today?
6. Don’t come up short on your putts and know it’s okay to want the hole-in-one. You have to “go for it”, and if you do not dream big, how do you know where your boundaries are and how to push past them? The expression “never up, never in” comes to mind…and that is not just for putting…you are up for opportunities, promotions, engagements only when you go for them!
5. Take a day off if you are really struggling or your swing just feels “off”. Step back, step away, assess (don’t obsess) and let something else be the focus. You can/will come back rejuvenated and re-focused. Sometimes that is true with something that seems daunting or off for you outside the course. Is there a break, can you step away…if you don’t you risk injury or burnout, so give yourself a chance to “get it back”!
4. Play with people you like, admire, trust and respect. Play against your game, and not against them. Get their input, ask them to back off. You can do either with those people. Be the same insider for them. When you cannot select with whom you play, default to #3, as rarely have I met a person who said “I am so glad I was paired with that guy/girl who criticized my swing the whole round”. When you look at your circle of friends are they those who want you to do well, or those who are critical…I’d seek out the former over the latter.
3. Remember, golf is a game of etiquette and courtesy. “Please” and “thank you”, honors and respect are not dead on the course, and they need not be foreign in everyday life either. If someone says good shot, say thank you. Be happy for their “hole out” on the 8th hole for eagle…that could be you, and likely will be more quickly if you are kind over letting it get you. Stay out of lines, repair your divots, and leave the course a wee bit better for your having played it. It’s like on the road when you use your blinkers, give the courtesy wave, or at a building hold the door. Let the etiquette and courtesy extend beyond the links.
2. Dress for being on the course. Know and own your style. Golf is a game of color and prints, shoes and hats. It is on a golf course where you can blend in or stand out. Like in life, it is a choice how you present yourself to the world. Like your style, your life, your outcomes. Know that not everyone will agree or appreciate you and that is okay.
1. Embrace the idea that sometimes it’s best to let others “play through”. Let things go, be grateful and give back. So many people may never experience a life of golf, but you can be a part of giving them a chance to experience appreciation and a charitable heart. When people act like that two-some skipping holes and riding you closely- it’s okay not to teach them a lesson, rather let them play their game, play through, and you go on with the game you came to play!

“Doubt yourself and you doubt everything you see. Judge yourself and you see judges everywhere. But if you listen to the sound of your own voice, you can rise above doubt and judgment. And you can see forever.” ~ Nancy Lopez

With that, I wish you all of the top 10, more birdies, less bogies, and when you see forever, you see your life is exactly on par!!

5 Phases to Our Measured Time/Interest

Every philosophy is the philosophy of some stage of life."

~ Friedrich Nietzsche, German classical Scholar, Philosopher and Critic of culture, 1844-1900

5 Phases to Our Measured Time/Interest

In our lives, there are many stages, learnings and approaches we will take. From a perspective of stages in your learning and living, please consider the following 5 phases, and where you are now...and where you want to be:

Phase 1 - Alive

We don't have a whole lot to do with this one...it's more on our parents to get us here, nonetheless, each of us who is able to read this message is, in fact, alive.

Phase 2 - Survive

A combination of our parents, care-givers and ourselves eventually, we learn what it takes to get by...to survive. This is not much of a desired state, but one where a lot of Americans reside for most or all of their lives.

Phase 3 - Drive

This is where we begin to differentiate what motivates us. It is in this phase where we consciously or unconsciously start to desire things and work toward them. Oddly, some people go through life with little to no drive, and yet those who have it, share it, and act on it are among the "success stories" we love to hear.

Phase 4 - Arrive

In the arrive phase, we are not comfortable, rather pleased with where we are in life. We have accomplished goals, not lost our drive, feel alive, surpass on the survive portion of living, and are in a position to appreciate and reflect on what we are doing and what got us to that phase.

Phase 5 - Thrive

When we move into thrive, we have hit all the others and are moving onto teaching, sharing and giving back to others through our words, actions, investments and interests. In thrive, we are very aware of being alive, all that drives and have not lost sight of the survive and arrive components. We are fully engaged, with little fear, much motivation, and a true yearning to contribute and continue to learn.

While I share these in order, you may find you are in one phase for a portion of your life, say your career, and perhaps another with your finances or career, and that is quite common. Your challenge, your opportunity, should you care to embrace it, is to set your sights on Thrive in all areas and continue to celebrate the wins and successes on your way, and eventually be excited, humble, grateful and reciprocal to others for being there fully!

With appreciation, make the most of each day, and of each phase!

10 Times the Leadership!

"Not the cry, but the flight of the wild duck, leads the flock to fly and follow."
~Chinese Saying~

While there are many lists and ideas about leadership, after speaking with a wonderful and talented client about leading during a one-on-one coaching session, I left and really reflected on what we covered, and consolidated the ideas I shared into my ten (perhaps top 10, and definitely current 10) strengths of an effective leader. The list includes (minimally) the ability to:

Envision - Seeing things for what they are and where they can go.

Observe - Looking at things with little bias and an open mind.

Inquire - Asking of others for input, observations, really listen and hear what is being said for feedback without repercussions to the person.

Care - Wanting to know about the people, the teams, the clients/customer and opportunities earned...and missed.

Cheer - Letting someone know he or she can do it. At times, just taking off the title and being a supportive person.

Coach - Being willing and able to meet people where they are and assist them in getting successfully where they are willing and able to go.

Show & Tell - Demonstrating and informing the team of what is behind, in front of and on the horizon for the company/group, and being willing to lead the way in words and actions. These are forms of effective communication.

Reflect - Making time and take time to consider competition, client desires, team interests and what to make of them and how the wins can be developed, and not just expected or taken.

Grow - Knowing others often have the answers and humility and pride can work hand-in-glove when learning and what serves well is top of mind. Being able to own decisions and seize opportunities for self and others.

Share - Being selfish enough to want the best and selfless enough to let others be a part of it. Knowing there is not just one leader, regardless of titles, and that results, victories and overall success in an effort of more than one. Sharing the opportunities and sharing of yourself by giving back in ways that work for you!

How are you, and your fellow leaders doing on these 10 traits? It's okay, be proud of what you are doing, and hone in on those areas where you'd like to see improvement...after all, you are a life-long learner if you are a true leader of self and others!