Leading Through Emotions at Work

If you want to have a life that is worth living, a life that expresses your deepest feelings and emotions and cares and dreams, you have to fight for it. 

~ Alice Walker

Considering we, as humans, are a series of emotions and habits, and our emotions can drive our commitment to well-serving habits, just as our habits can either quell or enhance our emotional states in reaction or response to people and situations, what happens when emotions are presented at the office, on Zoom/Teams, or with clients and colleagues in a way that creates discomfort? Can anything be done, or do we simply wait and hope for it to pass?

The answer is yes, you can do something, and here are approaches that will be emotionally intelligent, kind, and considerate to not tell someone they are wrong, rather give them an opportunity to sit in success. Much of these actions take place far before an incident, and others are for in the moment:

1)    Instead of creating and fostering an environment of emotionally-based questions or requests, such as “Do me a favor and get this report to me by Noon tomorrow” or “Don’t get mad at me, but…I need you to get the data regarding the XYZ widgets by Noon tomorrow”, ensure your language is focused on work, and appropriate in requests for the role and responsibilities someone has, meaning state requests such as “Because you are responsible for the data regarding the XYZ widgets, please share the ROI on the sales for 2022 by Noon tomorrow” and “Respecting you have a lot on your plate, is it realistic to expect the data regarding the XYZ widgets by Noon tomorrow?”

2)    When someone says something like “I don’t think So-And-So likes me” or “I think So-And-So has it in for me”, reply not with “Why is that?”, which can start innocently and then end in gossip and positioning, instead, shut down that language while being open to ensuring a safe workplace by stating “While ours is not a culture about liking and not liking, having it in for someone or blame, what specifically has happened that makes you feel uncomfortable with So-And-So when working together?” The difference is subtle, and yet you are not allowing that to subtly be acceptable that there can be people out for others.

3)    Should someone says “I feel like you don’t trust me” or “You dismiss me all the time”, or “You never let me finish an idea in the meeting”, rather than get defensive or tell the person “That’s not true”, or “I don’t do that”, or “You’re too sensitive” or “Calm down” say sincerely “You have the right to feel that way. Please walk me through the last time this happened for clarity and get us back connected positively and productively” or “Please forgive me for not being aware of that, I am open to hearing what you experienced”. Then, listen, and strive to relate with empathy rather than react with heightened energy. You want to avoid arguing or countering emotions. People’s emotions are not right or wrong, they are theirs, and working through them to an outcome and agreement is best.

4)    If you have gossip and bickering in the workplace, shut the action and activity down without shutting up people. Share that your workplace, organization, team, or group is not only a safe place, it is a space for support and collaboration, and there is not only no room for gossip and behind-the-back antics, it is an action such as one of those that will be the demise of the team. Share that if there is something factual to address, you will listen, and points of opinion are to be worked through by those involved directly. You are there to be supportive and to moderate, if need be, and that such engagement is to happen long before others are involved or told what has been occurring. This will garner openness and respect in order to keep alliances and cliques from forming.

Ultimately, you want, and you likely want your team members to feel and engage rather than get emotional and blame.

In nearly-18-years of my practice I’ve yet to meet an employee at any level who said, “I love working at my job because people are emotionally driven to blame” or “It’s great to get to work where there is an “in group” and the rest of us.” With that in mind, know that we are emotional beings, and that being known is how you can harness the emotions to appreciate and respect them without allowing emotional sabotage to take place. Let people have habits and emotions, and at the same time, let’s get in the habit of emotions being part of our experiences and not part of emotionally driven taking of sides, or dragging down culture, in the workplace!

#ProfessionalDevelopment #PersonalDevelopment #Kind #Leadership #Emotions #EmotionalIntelligence

Public Speaking Prowess Mindset

 "Fear paralyzes you - fear of flying, fear of the future, fear of leaving a rubbish marriage, fear of public speaking, or whatever it is."

~ Annie Lennox

One of the most important things in life, relationships, toasts, and in any industry is to remind yourself that your mindset in public speaking, as in every area of accomplishment, matters.

Keep in mind, front and center, that you’re speaking publicly often, and that it is not about a "speech" or something contrived, rather it is about communicating to connect, and ultimately demonstrate expertise and confidence through the spoken word. 

When you know this, and believe it, as it is developing relationships, it tends to alleviate a lot of that classroom perspective of “oh my gosh, I have to give a speech now” that unfortunately lingers with a lot of people when they aren’t familiar with how often public speaking, and even simple, effective communication, is a part of their daily successful exchanges.

For a Public Speaking Prowess mindset, think connection, not speech-giving, engaging, not overwhelming, and audience, not you, and your mind will guide your heart, and therefore, your effectiveness in front of a group of 1, 10, hundreds or more!

#PublicSpeaking #presenting #PresentingIdeas

Stressed or Blessed?

 "Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into a positive one." ~ Hans Selye

If you were to answer the question "Are you stressed or blessed?", what would you say? Stressed? Blessed? Both?

If you think you are stressed, you will likely feel stressed. When you feel stressed, you typically approach people and situations impatiently and/or with a bit of negativity or doubt.

While if you think you are blessed, you will likely feel blessed. When you feel blessed, you will often approach people and situations with hope and openness, even positively!

Should you think the answer is "Both", you will bounce back and forth between stressed and blessed, and even though that could seem fair, go past fairness into goodness by adjusting your thoughts toward blessed. 

Blessed thoughts are those of abundance and strength, gratitude and appreciation, perspective and purpose. Being in a state of blessed in thoughts and feelings doesn't necessarily imply a religious or even spiritual connotation, yet it can be a huge part of your connectedness - however that concept of 'blessed' sits with you.

Alternatively, stressed thoughts are those of lack and fear-filled vulnerability, and can be an unfortunate part of a lack of connectedness.

By being blessed, not stressed or both stressed and blessed, you will serve yourself, and additionally, those around you will have the chance to feed off your approach and attitude!

#ProfessionalDevelopment #PersonalDevelopment #KIND #Leadership #1KindAct #Growth #EmotionalIntelligence #EmotionalIntelligence #PerformanceCoaching #OneBeanerPerformanceCoach #LivingKindly #KindnessIsMyOwnSuperpower #Kindness #CoachsCorner #Resilience #Resiliency #Growth #LessonsLearned #Gratitude

Debbie@DebbieLundberg.com 813.494.4438 DebbieLundberg.com

Lessons Learned: Grace Following Gratitude

 Nope!!! No way!! Not a chance!! 🤚

Forgetting my bandana for sweat, stepping in dog poo, and even a lady nearly violently screaming “Are you kidding??” at me when I smiled, waved, and said “Good morning!” as I passed her on a run could not AND would not keep me from being grateful to run outside and thankful our home was intact after HurricaneIan on my morning run the Saturday when we returned from evacuating in my "Please be K.I.N.D." tank top!

While I felt surprised and even shocked in the midst of the experiences, the feeling of sadness for people not being grateful for what they had, being safe following Ian, and feeling humbled by everyone south of us and on other coasts being in despair, I dug deep to learn:

• Others have the right to feel how they feel and those feelings, and therefore their actions, do not have to impact others.
• People's actions are a reflection of how they are feeling about themselves and their lives, not you and your life.
• Share stories of such experiences only for learning and perspective, not to complain or carry those ideas and feelings forward

While how a day begins can impact the whole day, it need not, and it is your choice!

Not sure about everyone else, but I choose kindness and it keeps me fueled for life!!! Won’t you please join me?

#Kind #kindness #Kindnessmatters #1KindAct #KindnessNeedNotBeQuarantined

Making the Most of Your Moments

If you don't have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over?

~ John Wooden

While nobody can give you the gift of time, and we all have 24 hours in our day, there are certainly many ways to make the most of each day, hour, and moment, so here are 10 that have served me, and many clients well, over the years:

1. Have a morning routine (and an evening one, too). This keeps order. Routine is not restrictive, it is freeing, as there is no uncertainty or ambiguity for your mind to wonder what is happening next!

 2. Know life’s timing = your relationship with the clock. Yes, that may sound woo-woo, and yet if you dread going to bed and/or the alarm and are a snooze button-er, you likely have a confrontational relationship. If you keep your phone or alarm away from you, you will get up and get moving from the start!

 3. Eliminate lists, schedule all tasks & have buffers. People dislike this tip, and yet, lists only satisfy your wandering, wondering brain for a short while. If there is a list, your mind wants to work on accomplishing it, so that is the reason to schedule everything after prioritizing. Building in buffers allows for bio breaks and slight tweaks.

 4. Prioritize & ask for priority with clear boundaries. Sharing when something will be used and what the reason is for the priority gives context to those involved in a deadline, so ask, if you are given work to do, and offer if you are sharing.

 5. Start early & complete the worst first. When you get used to getting up a few minutes earlier than you used to, you can schedule the items you dislike or dread first. The reason is not to ruin your day, it is to get that behind you quickly to make the most of the rest of the day!

 6. Stop saying “swamped”, “stressed”, “slammed”, “crazy”, and/or "busy" so you stop getting your self-talk caught up in negativity. Instead, use "productive", "fully booked" and "well-scheduled".

 7. Say “no” or “no, thank you” & resist “busy-ness” in your day. You do not have to explain the reason, and you can wish people well as you move forward without accepting a "to do" that you don't want!

 8. Time chunk & allow time (not hope) with short meetings. 20 minutes is typically ideal for you starting and finishing something or getting enough accomplished on a project that it keeps you going without bogging you down.

 9. Focus on 1 thing at a time (no multi-tasking). S you don't get distracted, practice saying "If you give me In 5 minutes to finish this, I'll give you 100% of my attention" or "I'll come to you as soon as I am done with this." (And then do it!)

 10. Create organizing systems (mental & physical) that work for you! There is no "one-way" to be organized, yet all clutter is mental clutter, so get disciplined in how you stack, file, pile or repurpose things, and watch how your energy during your waking (and sleeping) time aligns with making the most!

You may want to implement 2-3 of these at a time (see what I did there) for impact on your day and your outcomes. Then, layer in other approaches on the list. With those free moments, please let me know how you are doing, okay? Thanks! Cheers to good times and good timing!

#ProfessionalDevelopment #PersonalDevelopment #Kind #EmotionalIntelligence #PerformanceCoaching #OneBeanerPerformanceCoach #LivingKindly #KindnessIsMyOwnSuperpower #Kindness #CoachsCorner #WorkdayWakeUp

Debbie@DebbieLundberg.com 813.494.4438 DebbieLundberg.com

Living a Meaningful Life

 "Old friends pass away, new friends appear. It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives. The important thing is to make it meaningful: a meaningful friend - or a meaningful day."

~ Dalai Lama

Meaning and meaningfulness in one’s life can be a goal, a pursuit, a passion, or an Achilles’ heel. How so? While those of us who feel, believe, and think we are making an impact, and therefore, a difference, are likely in the first three aspects…setting goals, pursuing joy, and passionately experiencing all we get to do. Still, others are frustrated, fumbling, and/or feelings as though they’ll never “get it”.

Because meaning is personal, and living a meaningful life is not the same as being happy, and/or experiencing and embracing happiness, it can seem elusive. It is not, and while the list here may look like a playbook or script, there is no order to the rhythm, rather your rhythm in moving through them will be your order.

10. Decide what your priorities are. Have 2, 3, or 4 that you know well and carry in your mind and heart. With those in mind, set your intention each day for that day, and set goals for days, weeks, months, and years. Intentions for experiences or days will allow you to be focused and present.

 9. Determine if your career is your calling or not. If so, go in fully, and if not, that is not a failure, it is success to learn that, and then you can pursue your calling adjunctly, as a side gig, or as a full change in your vocation. That’s up to you (all of this is!). Similarly, own and appreciate your passion. This need not have anything to do with your career and may link to your calling. Passion is that spark for you. Perhaps it’s coaching or dancing, and that may bring exercise and/or income or it may not. You may have a passion for reading. Make time for your passion.  

 8. Know that happiness is a state of mind and that you, and only you, are the one person responsible for your happiness. Get away from thinking being 10 pounds lighter or at a different job or in a relationship will make you happy. You take your mood and attitude with you, and the circumstances and people you are around either enhance or hinder them. Choose happiness and go forward from there!

 7. Engage in, and work on your Emotional Intelligence. Being self-aware, compassionate, and gracious with yourself and others will allow you to keep a perspective on life and situations that keeps you from being self-focused. Practice kindness. My definition of kindness is doing something for someone that benefits them whether they know you did it or not.

 6. Know that you are responsible for your choices and actions. Even when your choice or action did not go how you wanted or anticipated, own the outcomes and impacts and move forward. This is not excusing behaviors or lack of action, this is about being in the game and knowing while you can win growth, nobody has to lose as a result. Be proud of good choices. Apologize if choices impact others negatively. Name what you are doing or have done without blaming anyone or anything. Forgive. Forgive others, and forgive yourself, too. While feelings get hurt and things get said, timing and intention play roles in exchanges. Still, fully embrace and accept that most people do not want to hurt you, and if they do, that is a reflection of how they feel about themselves more than about you.

 5. Spend less money than you make and give back. This can be in making time and in donating money for causes and people who can benefit from your efforts. It’s not the amount that counts, it is that you make something else, outside of you and your family, work and activities, something you give worth and work to make a difference!

 4. Go it alone at times to grow, and then allow others in at times to assist in different growth. Know that there is no shame in asking for input or guidance. At the same time, don’t apologize if something is important for you to experience on your own. Don’t exclude or get dependent, rather be aware of what is best for you in each situation.

 3. Use time as your collaborator and not your nemesis. What? Yes, utilize the time you have in front of you and plan for it. This is not meant to make your life rigid, rather it is about making the most of each moment. Relaxing, sleeping, resting, and playing are all part of a full life, so that time is included in having a meaningful life. When that time is arranged, be present for what is available and what you get to experience.

 2. Love. Love fully. Love your friends. Be happy for others. Love a good time story. Love seeing people succeed. Spend little to no time or energy on jealousy or comparing yourself to others. Spend your vibes, words, and actions on moving toward creating and cultivating loving ways and relationships – romantic and otherwise. Let love guide you and let love lift you…and others!

 1. Be thankful, appreciative, and grateful. See what you have and celebrate that rather than imagining what is missing and focusing on that. I often say be grateful for what you have rather than hateful for what you don’t. Similarly, be appreciative of who is present rather than antagonistic toward those who are not. 

Having and living a meaningful life can be complicated when thinking about it long-term, and yet these approaches allow you to simplify your dedication and enjoyment of the meaning you either have within you, or you will find within you!

#ProfessionalDevelopment #PersonalDevelopment #Kind #PerformanceCoaching #OneBeanerPerformanceCoach #LivingKindly #KindnessIsMyOwnSuperpower #Kindness #CoachsCorner 

Thriving in Productivity Rather Than Drowning in Activity

Productivity is never an accident. It is always the result of a commitment to excellence, intelligent planning, and focused effort. 

~ Paul J. Meyer

With the starting of something new, it can feel like it is important to "get moving", and to a certain extent, it is...

as long as that movement is intentional and focused, directed and decided.

When we think we have to go and do, sometimes that energy gets misdirected.

Activity is not productivity, and therefore, simply acting is not being productive.

So, what is the difference?

Activity is about doing something, and productivity is about doing something intentional to move forward, to advance toward a goal.

There are ways to stay in the productivity mindset versus succumbing to the activity temptation. Some of those include:

• Get realistic while you are ambitiously looking forward (know what you are capable of doing when you stretch and give your best) and share your goals with a few you like, admire, trust and respect
• Break your goals down into measurable, incremental sub-goals
• Schedule your planned completion (accomplishment) with a stretch finish date, too, and then lock those dates on your calendar and work backward
• Make a list of everything you can imagine being required to get through to your end
• Put everything on your calendar in chunks of time that are manageable for the way you work (if you work in bursts, then plan for 20-minute increments, and if you have longevity in effort, then look at 1-2 hour blocks) and cross those items off the list when you put them on the calendar
• For each effort, ask yourself the same questions: How is this advancing me toward my goal? and Is this the best use of my time, energy and resources right now? These questions are key to keeping you out of activity and in productivity!
• Engage others for the tasks that would likely be best done by someone else (this is about limiting pride and therefore limiting activity, and engaging in humility and allowing others to participate)
• Celebrate wins along the way
• Allow for downtime and for rejuvenating efforts, too, as these can be productive for staying whole and complete as you advance your goal
• Revisit your goal(s), and make a new list and adjust your calendar each week in order to stay productive and focused while advancing your effort

Being a productive person is admittedly not always thrilling and fun, yet it is intriguing, forward-thinking and forward-acting. It's exciting to know that the energy expended is being realized, and that surely makes for a thrill and some fun outcomes along the way!

#ProfessionalDevelopment #PersonalDevelopment  #PerformanceCoaching #Kind #OneBeanerPerformanceCoach #LivingKindly #KindnessIsMyOwnSuperpower #Kindness #CoachsCorner #WorkdayWakeUp

Debbie@DebbieLundberg.com 813.494.4438 DebbieLundberg.com

Lessons Learned: Years of Board Service

"The end of all knowledge should be service to others."

~ Cesar Chavez

Having served on many boards over the past 15+ years of my practice, and a few prior to starting Presenting Powerfully, those hours, days, months, and years of service have taught me a few things!

Here are some lessons learned:

1. If you invite someone to join a board, include the year's meetings, time commitment, and what options for participation and expectations of time and contribution of money or other resources expected in the initial ask. If you are asked without these points of reference, ask for them prior to making a commitment in order to keep positive about the experience or about turning it down if there's not a fit.
2. Please use the words "serve on a board" not "sit on a board". When you are a part of a board, you are there to serve, not sit, so where this expression came from, I don't know! Let's get rid of it, okay? With that, let's start thanking people for volunteering their time and expertise when something is announced about someone being a part of a board. I am not looking for kudos, rather we often say "Congratulations", and that may be the case to celebrate the announcement AND it is good to share gratitude for someone fitting another priority in their world.
3. When you are on a board, do not assume it has to be the role that you do for work. Often a banker is on a board and they are immediately put on the finance committee, and that may work for them, or being on a board can be a way to share expertise AND learn new skills, too. You may want to expand your experience and opportunities by joining committees that stretch your capabilities.
4. Welcome new members and exit gracefully. Give people insights into how the board works/runs without gossiping or attempting to direct someone based solely on your experience. Serve your time with vigor and be consistent. When you are done, skip the critique or "Monday Morning Quarterbacking", and keep in touch, retain relationships, and ensure the friendships you forged go beyond the board room into your life's experience!

By following these learnings, you can enjoy your time and your growth as you resist overcommitting and stay productive in your board service!

#ProfessionalDevelopment #PersonalDevelopment #PerformanceCoaching #Kind #OneBeanerPerformanceCoach #LivingKindly #KindnessIsMyOwnSuperpower #Kindness #CoachsCorner #WorkdayWakeUp

Debbie@DebbieLundberg.com 813.494.4438 DebbieLundberg.com

Keeping the HAPPY in Happy Holidays

Learn to enjoy every minute of your life. Be happy now. Don't wait for something outside of yourself to make you happy in the future. Think how really precious is the time you have to spend, whether it's at work or with your family. Every minute should be enjoyed and savored.

~ Earl Nightingale

Many have opinions on saying "Merry Christmas", "Happy Hanukkah" and "Happy Holidays", and that is up to each individual to share and say what is in their heart and on their mind depending on the timing and situation.

It reminds me of being wished "Happy Mother's Day" as a person with only four-legged "children", I say "Thank you", as it still is good to be happy on any day, and what the heck, I'll gladly take the well-wishes on such a special day. It's tough to get me to fight off an upbeat message meant with good cheer!

Anyway, that is not what this tip is about, and it is not a religious take on any of these wonderful comments and wishes, rather this is about how to keep (or bring, if it seems like it hasn't been there) the HAPPY in the holidays and the holiday season.

Please consider the following for your own version of HAPPY holidays:

H - Have awareness of the fact that traditions are simply obligations in disguise if you don't want to do them and that it is okay to change what happens this year

A - Appreciate what is being done around you and who is making time to be with you rather than being annoyed with what hasn't happened or who is not around (and share that appreciation freely and often)

P - Plan time for rest so that your time celebrating is really the best it can be, and so that the experiences are engaging over draining you

P - Prepare yourself for someone or something not acting or responding how you thought they would

Y - Yield to nobody if you really want to do something, as doing something alone can be enjoyable in a new, unexpected way

Instead of holding your breath for something to not go wrong, or getting through a gathering, this keeping the HAPPY in the holidays means you come from gratitude with a positive attitude to be there, and be glad for the opportunities this month!

#ProfessionalDevemopment #PersonalDevelopment #PerformanceCoaching #Kind #OneBeanerPerformanceCoach #LivingKindly #KindnessIsMyOwnSuperpower #Kindness #CoachsCorner #WorkdayWakeUp

Debbie@DebbieLundberg.com 813.494.4438 DebbieLundberg.com

Lessons Learned: Being an Introverted Extrovert

Introverts can act as Extroverts for a short time. Extroverts are typically more challenged when faced with the Invtrovert's environment. While I am an Extrovert, sometimes there are moments, hours, and days of introversion that are enjoyable and productive.

Even though Extroverts are often thought of as vocal and Introverts are perceived as quiet, that is not exactly true. Typically, Extroverts gain energy from being around others, where Introverts regain energy from rest or being alone.

What have I learned from these sometimes chosen blocks, and other times unexpected experiences? Here are a few points noted that may assist Extroverts and Introverts alike in engaging:

Not all extroverts are huggers. Watch that as an extrovert, we don't assume someone welcomes our approach. This was seen during the pandemic, in particular when seeing someone and that person said: "I am a hugger" and came at me when I was not interested in crossing the 6-foot-barrier, let alone embracing this stranger!

The Fear of Missing Out, or FOMO, can be redirected to what I call JOCO, or the Joy of Celebrating Others. Feeling out of touch can be disappointing, and when taking on the mindset of celebrating others before scrolling social media, or listening to someone's story, will make that extroversion become an extra excited supporter of you, rather than an extra bummed bystander!

Taking breaks for Extroverts creates a sense of not being stuck or trapped, and even feeling less alone. While working solo, plan for a phone call or video conference, or meeting at strategic times of the day to gain energy.

Be aware, note, and keep in mind where you draw energy and who/what drains your energy. Similarly, know your strongest energy times of day/night, and work to have your biggest challenges and opportunities scheduled during those times, if possible. As an extreme morning person (someone who likes being up before 5:00 AM), I respect and appreciate that others do not want to meet then, so I work out then with positive people for starting strong and capitalizing on that block of time.

Since we are all either gaining or draining from experiences with others, consider whether you are Extroverted or Introverted to maximize your choices!

Making Amends

You made a mistake. You said or did something you regret. You were self-centered, or thoughtless. And, now, and perhaps for a while, you owe someone you care about an apology.

Making amends is not easy, and yet here is a simple approach to the challenging experience:
1) Think about the other person and not simply you
2) Approach the other person in private, and even schedule time with him/her
3) Be sincere
4) Share that you erred and you are owning it
5) Apologize for the act and your actions - not how the person interpreted the situation or might feel, and ASK for forgiveness and a fresh start
6) Expect nothing, and accept whatever the person shares
7) Be grateful for getting to voice your view, and give the other person time to process

Stay focused, humble, willing and open as you attempt to make amends in order to be true to your relationship, the other person, and to yourself.

The Value of Vulnerability

"When you stop caring what people think, you lose your capacity for connection. When you're defined by it, you lose our capacity for vulnerability."

~ Brene Brown

American Professor at University of Houston where she holds the Huffington Foundation - Brené Brown Endowed Chair at The Graduate College of Social Work.

(b. 1965)

Often leaders are described as charismatic, smart, visionaries, and vulnerable. Sadly, many of us work, yes, work, at not letting anything detract from our impression on others as someone who "has it all together", meaning there is nothing that can shake us, and that things are nearly perfect! The reality is nobody is perfect, and nothing goes perfectly all the time. We have fears, disappointments, missed opportunities and more. We are human, and as humans growing, we are vulnerable people.

Vulnerability is not weakness. Vulnerability and exposure provide an opportunity to find strength, to bond with others, and to learn from situations and people. Vulnerability is real, and really important.

Sure, sharing everything is not appropriate. Sharing some things - challenges and past experiences, ways you've overcome push-back and set-backs, and choices you've made, all allow others to get to know you and get a chance to potentially learn from what you've experienced.

When you think you'll look foolish, "less-than" or weak, remember that sharing in a positive, non-complaining, realistic way, that is vulnerability, and that is leadership. There's great value in that. So, be a leader and be vulnerable!

The I-I-L-L (Not the “I’ll”) of Leadership

"We must develop knowledge optimization initiatives to leverage our key learnings." 

~ Scott Adams

Often people say or think something like “When I’m the leader, I’ll…” as they look forward to changing things! Sure that is enjoyable to anticipate, and even fantasize about…the “I’ll”, and yet for all of us, regardless of size of business, age, or position, there is a way to look at leadership as the I-I-L-L factor(s) instead of the “I’ll”.
“I-I-L-L”, you ask? Yes, the I-I-L-L stands for:
• Impact
• Influence
• Loyalty
• Leverage

Impact is the fact that what you say or do can have an immediate jolt on someone. It can be something bold or subtle, and either way, it changes the perspective or outlook of others immediately, and perhaps only for a short time. That impact is felt and acknowledged. Impact gets attention of others.

Influence is something that happens over time. It is a style and presence that someone, either unintentionally or intentionally asserts and/or shares with others. Influence stems from consistency, desire to be similar or near, and typically last longer than an impact. Influence gets awareness and respect of others.

Loyalty is when someone is true to another. A leader demonstrates loyalty by sharing openly wins and losses, support and concern. Loyalty is developed for a leader from a steadfast, consistent approach that is trustworthy toward people and in situations. That leader’s views and actions present aligned with others or what others seek to be aligned with. Loyalty is long lasting unless trust is broken.

Leverage is being able to call on others…those you have impacted, influenced, and shown loyalty towards. Leverage is a form of leadership that is to call on others directly for support and positioning. Having leverage means acting in the best interests of others and the situation while calling on those who can impact, have influence, and have loyal colleagues, in order to broaden the reach and scope of the message or action one is attempting to lead.

As it works, there is typically an impact or two before true influence is established. Likewise, influence typically has the potential to become loyalty. Likewise, there is little leverage (true leverage, not manipulation) that takes place without loyalty. So, instead of thinking “I’ll do XYZ”, consider thinking about the I-I-L-L of leadership, assessing where you are, and where you want to be, to ensure your I-I-L-L can get you to that XYZ…whatever it may be!

Today's TLC

"Take it from me,
Don't be a victim of society,
You can't put yourself in a position to be neglected,
And disrespected,
You have to do what's not expected." 

~ TLC Lyrics from "His Song"
TLC is an American girl group whose repertoire spans R&B, hip hop, funk and "urban" soul. TLC originally comprised of lead singer Tionne "T-Boz" Watkins, rapper Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes (until her death in 2002) and singer Rozonda "Chilli" Thomas. The group was very successful in the 1990s and early 2000s.

(1990 - present)

    

TLC is often about Tender Loving Care, and that will not go out of style...yesterday, today or tomorrow! 

In addition to the Tender Loving Care, there is some extra TLC for each day that can, and likely will, enhance your experiences. This revised (or revisited, if you have seen me speak on this) TLC is about: Talent, Leading/Leadership, and Commitment.

Talent - You want to assess talent fairly, get the right talent in roles, surround yourself with the talents of self and others that enhance your happiness and results!

Leading/Leadership - You lead in each way, on each day, in the way your think, act, and engage with others. Leadership, and leading, starts with you, and allows others to follow. 

Commitment - This is about desire, focus and consistency. By working toward one goal, and staying committed to that for the right reasons, allows for direction and follow-through.

This enhanced TLC is not without the historic TLC of Tender Loving Care, rather, it is complementary, and allows that combination of past and present to bring you, your work, your business, and/or your relationships to yet another TLC: Top Level Communication!

Lead for GROWTH

"A man's growth is seen in the successive choirs of his friends."

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

American essayist, lecturer, and poet, who led the Transcendentalist movement of the mid-19th century. (1803 - 1882)

Often a good way to grow ourselves as leaders is to assist in the growth of others.

Who can you be a part of in his or her GROWTH? Meaning:

G - Give that person the

R - Responsibility and

O - Opportunity to

W - Work within their

T - Talent and time while

Hearing feedback for learning

Remember, GROWTH is a good thing...for their leadership and yours!

Getting REAL

"Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing." - Abraham Lincoln, 16th President of the United States (1809 - 1865)

Expressions like "Fake it 'til you make it", and "Never let them see you sweat" have become not only acceptable for many for being less than sincere with others...they have even allowed some, sadly, to be shallow with themselves.

Instead of being concerned with what others think, or don't think, of us, how nice would it be to be REAL with ourselves...and others as well? What I mean by REAL is:

R - Relevant. The opposite of relevance is vanity. Remember to be aware, stay abreast of what is happening, know you are not the only person who may be experiencing what is great, or challenging, and keep that perspective while being sad, glad, or anything in between.

E - Enthusiasm. The opposite of enthusiasm is apathy. Your attitude is your enthusiasm...it need not be loud or vocal, just yours. Having a belief in yourself and others while knowing whatever attitude you have is your choice, and your enthusiasm can be contagious...and worth catching!

A - Action. The opposite of action is worry. Worry yields nothing positive. Inaction is action,remember to choose wisely, as actions have rewards & consequences. Own your actions!

L - Leadership. The opposite of leadership is pessimism. The followers are not the opposite of the leader, as the followers are part of what make the leaders' leadership grow. Following is a way of leading self. Lead and guide yourself first, and others later. By leading yourself and setting an example is the way to what I call "Micro-leadership". Lead by example, and learn from experience.

As you maintain being relevant, embrace and share your enthusiasm, take action (and ownership of it), your leadership will continue to develop. These things will get and keep things REAL for you...no faking it, just making it...no sweat required!!!

Give it Your ALL!

"Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you." Ralph Waldo Emerson (American Poet)

There seemingly are so many expectations we put on ourselves, and additional demands we allow others to place on us as well. In the long run, all we have is who we are and what we do, so isn't it fair to strip away expectations and demands, and instead be determined to "give it our ALL"?

By giving it your ALL, I mean really owning and enjoying, assessing and sharing your:

Appreciation - being grateful for what you have and happy for others for what they have, and bring to the table as well

Loyalty - having beliefs, knowing you have and give confidentiality, and really developing trust and dependability that is enjoyable and comforting all at once

Laughter - demonstrating the real you, and even laughing at yourself and with others with humor and humility, pride and presence

When you are willing and able to give your ALL, you are in a position to truly experience and engage in ALL that is important to you, for you! So let go of some of those burdensome expectations and demands and replace them with desire and engagement so not only are you giving your ALL, you can get your ALL!!

Becoming Your Own ACE!

"A miracle is an act or event out of the order of nature and unaccountable, as beating a normal hand of four kings and an ace with four aces and a king."

~ Ambrose Bierce (American Writer, Journalist and Editor, 1842-1914)

While the highest card in the deck for most games is an Ace, and the best pilot is called an Ace, and even the most impactful serve is deemed an Ace, it is understandable how many of us would like to be the ACE in our field.



What is different from just the phrase "An Ace", is how you are encouraged to get to that distinction of "ACE". Think of ACE in terms of your:

Attitude
Creativity, and your
Execution



For each aspect of the ACE above, there is a supporting ACE as well, meaning:



Your ATTITUDE is driven by:

Acknowledging and appreciating what is happening by being present and engaged.

Catching people and things doing/going well, and not just finding fault.

Exciting yourself with learning, people and opportunities.



Your CREATIVITY is harnessed and expressed by:

Allowing yourself (& others) to think differently without immediately thinking "No" or "That won't work".

Coloring your world with words and actions that suit your mindset and focus. Drab days seem grey, so paint them green or red, or pink or yellow in your creative mind and self.

Exuding "What else?" to almost every situation..."What else can I do?, "What else can I see, feel or create?", and even "What else can I let someone else do so s/he can shine?"



Your EXECUTION is about:

Accounting for your actions...good, bad, right, wrong. Own the errors and learn from them just as you pridefully accept the kudos you deserve.

Clearly defining and measuring goals by including actions, checkpoints, and others who will assist in inspiring you and holding you accountable.

Expecting results - both anticipated & other. Not everything will go perfectly, but sometimes the "mistake" is the best result ever (i.e. Post-it Notes)!



Go ahead, align your Attitude, Creativity and Execution for you to get to become your very own ACE!

20 Seconds to Stress-less-ness

"Pressure and stress is the common cold of the psyche."
~ Andrew Denton,Australian Producer and Radio Host, b. 1960

Many people are feeling the crunch of work, home and other expectations. That's okay...sometimes that "crunch" becomes a driver, and it pushes us. But, other times, that "crunch" can feel like pressure and evolve into stress. If the latter is ever the case, please consider incorporating the following four quick steps:

1) Taking 3 breaths (in through nose and out through mouth)
2) Picturing something that is calming or sweet to you
3) Holding that thought and continuing that breath for 15 seconds
4) Smiling on the last breath to lock in that feeling of stress-less-ness

Isn't 20 seconds worth making that "crunch" get in line to allow you to stay calm and get the results you want?

Here's to a world that is not stress-free, rather filled with stress-less-ness!

Non-Traditional Organization = Traditional Success!

"Order is the sanity of the mind, the health of the body, the peace of the city, the security of the state. Like beams in a house or bones to a body, so is order to all things."
~ Robert Southey
English poet (1774 -1843)

Recently at a workshop on Assessing and Organizing for the New Year, I shared the following tips and tools. It was asked that I include them in the next newsletter, so here they are!
Often organization can seem daunting, and knowing that, these tips and tools are non-traditional...ways to assist you with organization for you, about you. Please use what fits, and consider incorporating a few as you continue on a successful path for 2012!

Establish a sleep time & a wake time (within an hour each day) for consistent rest. A well-rested mind is an organized mind!
Be a Project Manager (instead of a Project Do-er). Let others shine, and share in the opportunities.
Schedule clean-up time each day or clean as you go. Figure out which suits you, and embrace it.
Have an accountability partner who is supportive, and does not "let you off the hook". Be the same in return.
Schedule a time to return phone calls & emails (instead of constantly interrupting yourself).
Create a decompression routine for the shift from work to home (could be a song, a dance, a "reward", a scent, or a combination of these).
Book weekly, monthly, quarterly, yearly appointments now, and schedule work/clients/meetings around those times. Taking care of you is being well and organized for others!
Cut 15 minutes out of each meeting or book starts for 10 or 15 minutes after the hour.
Do some mental fun-ness exercise each day like Scrabble or word search or Facebook - keep it positive!
Do worst things first so you do not procrastinate doing them. Then, reward yourself with doing something you enjoy next.
Recycle. This gives you something organized already.
Workout. People who schedule and stick to workouts are likely organized, energized, and even fit!
Cut yourself some slack. Adopt the "progress...not perfection" motto. This is not lowering the bar, rather celebrating small successes!
Act like a kid again to remind yourself life is fun!
Follow your heart...and your head will follow! Give logic a break once in a while, and let your "gut" be your guide to an emotionally organized approach!

With these non-traditional organizational tools, you will likely find traditional success...and more!