Building Personal Resilience!

 Persistence and resilience only come from having been given the chance to work through difficult problems.

~ Gever Tulley

While there can be uphill battles, setbacks, and certainly disappointments in life and in business, there are also ways to move through (not around or over) there are also lessons learned, opportunities through challenges, and growth.

Getting there often takes drive, effort, and most of all, resilience.

Resilience is mostly a learned skill in our youth, and yet it is something that can be acquired with intentional effort and interest in being able to move through situations and people who/that were not as anticipated. Here are some tips for getting resilient and gaining resiliency:

Be competitive only with yourself and your goals, and not against others. Have your goals. Record them with written plans. Know what you have accomplished, and keep both in the forefront of your mind and mindset. This will keep a perspective, and keep you from being self-sabotaging. Doubt does not serve resiliency. Reminders of your success will keep you from going too dark, and keep light in your present and future.

Engage in your Emotional Intelligence. By being self-aware and feeling your feelings while being aware of others' feelings, you will be able to know the difference between how you feel and who you are in the moment. Speak in terms of how you feel rather than how you are. It is reasonable to say "I feel disappointed" versus "I am disappointed" because you allow the feeling without allowing the feeling to overtake you.

Think in terms of areas of focus such as a relationship, business, friends, family, health, and more, and keep them connected without extreme overlap in order to enjoy all, and practice resilience in each when required. When, in any area, something doesn't go as you'd like ask yourself "What next?" instead of "Why me?". This will have your focus on the future and staying positive (not a Polyana). Action allows for movement and movement allows for momentum.

Be an optimistic realist and/or a realistic optimist. Have gratitude and positivity, AND have consideration for not overlooking stumbling blocks by being so thankful or hopeful that they collectively become a setup for feeling discouraged. These checks and balances allow for resilience in that they are a consistent framework for keeping a framework around you for your well-being and growth.

Resilience can seem like you either have it or you do not, and yet it is achievable as a feeling and an approach to life and business. Practicing the aforementioned tips regularly will, ironically, keep you from finding the ups and downs so far apart, keeping your resilience low-key and ready in the wings for if/when there is something of higher stakes for which you want to overcome or adjust from!

#ProfessionalDevelopment #PersonalDevelopment #Kind #EmotionalIntelligence #PerformanceCoaching #OneBeanerPerformanceCoach #LivingKindly #KindnessIsMyOwnSuperpower #Kindness #CoachsCorner #Resilience #Resiliency #Growth

Debbie@DebbieLundberg.com 813.494.4438 DebbieLundberg.com

5 Phases to Our Measured Time/Interest

Every philosophy is the philosophy of some stage of life."

~ Friedrich Nietzsche, German classical Scholar, Philosopher and Critic of culture, 1844-1900

5 Phases to Our Measured Time/Interest

In our lives, there are many stages, learnings and approaches we will take. From a perspective of stages in your learning and living, please consider the following 5 phases, and where you are now...and where you want to be:

Phase 1 - Alive

We don't have a whole lot to do with this one...it's more on our parents to get us here, nonetheless, each of us who is able to read this message is, in fact, alive.

Phase 2 - Survive

A combination of our parents, care-givers and ourselves eventually, we learn what it takes to get by...to survive. This is not much of a desired state, but one where a lot of Americans reside for most or all of their lives.

Phase 3 - Drive

This is where we begin to differentiate what motivates us. It is in this phase where we consciously or unconsciously start to desire things and work toward them. Oddly, some people go through life with little to no drive, and yet those who have it, share it, and act on it are among the "success stories" we love to hear.

Phase 4 - Arrive

In the arrive phase, we are not comfortable, rather pleased with where we are in life. We have accomplished goals, not lost our drive, feel alive, surpass on the survive portion of living, and are in a position to appreciate and reflect on what we are doing and what got us to that phase.

Phase 5 - Thrive

When we move into thrive, we have hit all the others and are moving onto teaching, sharing and giving back to others through our words, actions, investments and interests. In thrive, we are very aware of being alive, all that drives and have not lost sight of the survive and arrive components. We are fully engaged, with little fear, much motivation, and a true yearning to contribute and continue to learn.

While I share these in order, you may find you are in one phase for a portion of your life, say your career, and perhaps another with your finances or career, and that is quite common. Your challenge, your opportunity, should you care to embrace it, is to set your sights on Thrive in all areas and continue to celebrate the wins and successes on your way, and eventually be excited, humble, grateful and reciprocal to others for being there fully!

With appreciation, make the most of each day, and of each phase!

Allow Other's Inspiration, Make Your Motivation!

There are amazing and inspirational people all around us!

My friend, Melissa, just finished the Walk to Santiago, where she persevered in wind, cold, heat and dryness alone on a walk that was inspired by the book The Alchemist by Paulo Coehlo (a wonderful, quick read!). She experienced inspiration in literature and found motivation in herself. She did it right...and with an amazing affect! Congratulations to Melissa!

Often people seek others' stories, ideas, experiences for motivation rather than inspiration. Inspiration is time-based and external, where motivation is internal and purpose-driven. When I meet someone and s/he expressed "oh you are a motivational speaker" after I share what I do, I simply smile, and offer the difference in motivation and inspiration. Quite a bit of the time people remind me that they had not thought of it that way. Then, almost as frequently, I am asked "then how come people call themselves motivational speakers?". I believe it is because a lot of people do think they can motivate others. I do not claim to be that powerful since motivation is what carries one through to the end. I will not be there for every thought and experience, just as the book was not those things for Melissa. Her motivation was sparked by the reading and story in the book, and that inspired her to tap into her own, pure motivation.

Like Melissa, those who seek inspiration in others and stories, knowing they are personalizing them and making a plan for themselves, will likely see their accomplishment through, for they are relying on themselves and learning and growing as themselves and for themselves...without the need for external pushing.

I am all for inspiration, that is part of what I provide, I am just humble and aware enough to know it only goes so far. When you see or hear something inspirational, personalize it, look for tools to make it your own, and then watch your own motivation drive you to your results!