Living a Meaningful Life

 "Old friends pass away, new friends appear. It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives. The important thing is to make it meaningful: a meaningful friend - or a meaningful day."

~ Dalai Lama

Meaning and meaningfulness in one’s life can be a goal, a pursuit, a passion, or an Achilles’ heel. How so? While those of us who feel, believe, and think we are making an impact, and therefore, a difference, are likely in the first three aspects…setting goals, pursuing joy, and passionately experiencing all we get to do. Still, others are frustrated, fumbling, and/or feelings as though they’ll never “get it”.

Because meaning is personal, and living a meaningful life is not the same as being happy, and/or experiencing and embracing happiness, it can seem elusive. It is not, and while the list here may look like a playbook or script, there is no order to the rhythm, rather your rhythm in moving through them will be your order.

10. Decide what your priorities are. Have 2, 3, or 4 that you know well and carry in your mind and heart. With those in mind, set your intention each day for that day, and set goals for days, weeks, months, and years. Intentions for experiences or days will allow you to be focused and present.

 9. Determine if your career is your calling or not. If so, go in fully, and if not, that is not a failure, it is success to learn that, and then you can pursue your calling adjunctly, as a side gig, or as a full change in your vocation. That’s up to you (all of this is!). Similarly, own and appreciate your passion. This need not have anything to do with your career and may link to your calling. Passion is that spark for you. Perhaps it’s coaching or dancing, and that may bring exercise and/or income or it may not. You may have a passion for reading. Make time for your passion.  

 8. Know that happiness is a state of mind and that you, and only you, are the one person responsible for your happiness. Get away from thinking being 10 pounds lighter or at a different job or in a relationship will make you happy. You take your mood and attitude with you, and the circumstances and people you are around either enhance or hinder them. Choose happiness and go forward from there!

 7. Engage in, and work on your Emotional Intelligence. Being self-aware, compassionate, and gracious with yourself and others will allow you to keep a perspective on life and situations that keeps you from being self-focused. Practice kindness. My definition of kindness is doing something for someone that benefits them whether they know you did it or not.

 6. Know that you are responsible for your choices and actions. Even when your choice or action did not go how you wanted or anticipated, own the outcomes and impacts and move forward. This is not excusing behaviors or lack of action, this is about being in the game and knowing while you can win growth, nobody has to lose as a result. Be proud of good choices. Apologize if choices impact others negatively. Name what you are doing or have done without blaming anyone or anything. Forgive. Forgive others, and forgive yourself, too. While feelings get hurt and things get said, timing and intention play roles in exchanges. Still, fully embrace and accept that most people do not want to hurt you, and if they do, that is a reflection of how they feel about themselves more than about you.

 5. Spend less money than you make and give back. This can be in making time and in donating money for causes and people who can benefit from your efforts. It’s not the amount that counts, it is that you make something else, outside of you and your family, work and activities, something you give worth and work to make a difference!

 4. Go it alone at times to grow, and then allow others in at times to assist in different growth. Know that there is no shame in asking for input or guidance. At the same time, don’t apologize if something is important for you to experience on your own. Don’t exclude or get dependent, rather be aware of what is best for you in each situation.

 3. Use time as your collaborator and not your nemesis. What? Yes, utilize the time you have in front of you and plan for it. This is not meant to make your life rigid, rather it is about making the most of each moment. Relaxing, sleeping, resting, and playing are all part of a full life, so that time is included in having a meaningful life. When that time is arranged, be present for what is available and what you get to experience.

 2. Love. Love fully. Love your friends. Be happy for others. Love a good time story. Love seeing people succeed. Spend little to no time or energy on jealousy or comparing yourself to others. Spend your vibes, words, and actions on moving toward creating and cultivating loving ways and relationships – romantic and otherwise. Let love guide you and let love lift you…and others!

 1. Be thankful, appreciative, and grateful. See what you have and celebrate that rather than imagining what is missing and focusing on that. I often say be grateful for what you have rather than hateful for what you don’t. Similarly, be appreciative of who is present rather than antagonistic toward those who are not. 

Having and living a meaningful life can be complicated when thinking about it long-term, and yet these approaches allow you to simplify your dedication and enjoyment of the meaning you either have within you, or you will find within you!

#ProfessionalDevelopment #PersonalDevelopment #Kind #PerformanceCoaching #OneBeanerPerformanceCoach #LivingKindly #KindnessIsMyOwnSuperpower #Kindness #CoachsCorner 

More Birdies, Less Bogies…How to Keep Your Life On Par

“Golf is deceptively simple and endlessly complicated.” ~ Arnold Palmer

On the heels of enthralling close to the 75th Masters, and with summer drawing near, a golf reference seems timely this week. After all, it’s often been said that life mirrors golf and golf is a reflection of life, so with that in mind, here are 10 ways to shoot for more birdies, less bogies…how to keep your life on par:

10. Consider the full course; the entire hole and not just the shot in front of you. Ensure you are planning and not just playing. Life is about the strategy, the execution, the enjoyment and the results. Life and golf give us obstacles…it is how we avoid or address them that matters in our score and our confidence.
9. Golf is both a physical and mental game; it is not a game of strength, but more of balance, focus and precision. Make time to take care of yourself physically, emotionally and mentally. When you are not at the top of your game, you mishit, misjudge, and often miss out! You must give your life, your family, your colleagues the best of you from the perspective of “you cannot give what you do not have”.
8. Plan to go for challenging shots after you have watched and learned. Have "moxumility"™. Have the moxie to go for an uphill, over the water and trap tee-shot for a chance at a birdie…as long as you have surveyed the course, assessed your swing and game accurately, and have the humility to know it is risky…yet so rewarding when done well! Like in life, with golf, practice doesn’t make perfect, it makes permanent.
7. Enjoy every course, every stroke, every hole, every round. Give fully to the game, and let that experience alone be enough for you right then. Leave everything else behind and be in the game for the game…for you and your full experience. Similar to your daily living, each one is new, fresh, and all yours…what clubs or words will you choose today?
6. Don’t come up short on your putts and know it’s okay to want the hole-in-one. You have to “go for it”, and if you do not dream big, how do you know where your boundaries are and how to push past them? The expression “never up, never in” comes to mind…and that is not just for putting…you are up for opportunities, promotions, engagements only when you go for them!
5. Take a day off if you are really struggling or your swing just feels “off”. Step back, step away, assess (don’t obsess) and let something else be the focus. You can/will come back rejuvenated and re-focused. Sometimes that is true with something that seems daunting or off for you outside the course. Is there a break, can you step away…if you don’t you risk injury or burnout, so give yourself a chance to “get it back”!
4. Play with people you like, admire, trust and respect. Play against your game, and not against them. Get their input, ask them to back off. You can do either with those people. Be the same insider for them. When you cannot select with whom you play, default to #3, as rarely have I met a person who said “I am so glad I was paired with that guy/girl who criticized my swing the whole round”. When you look at your circle of friends are they those who want you to do well, or those who are critical…I’d seek out the former over the latter.
3. Remember, golf is a game of etiquette and courtesy. “Please” and “thank you”, honors and respect are not dead on the course, and they need not be foreign in everyday life either. If someone says good shot, say thank you. Be happy for their “hole out” on the 8th hole for eagle…that could be you, and likely will be more quickly if you are kind over letting it get you. Stay out of lines, repair your divots, and leave the course a wee bit better for your having played it. It’s like on the road when you use your blinkers, give the courtesy wave, or at a building hold the door. Let the etiquette and courtesy extend beyond the links.
2. Dress for being on the course. Know and own your style. Golf is a game of color and prints, shoes and hats. It is on a golf course where you can blend in or stand out. Like in life, it is a choice how you present yourself to the world. Like your style, your life, your outcomes. Know that not everyone will agree or appreciate you and that is okay.
1. Embrace the idea that sometimes it’s best to let others “play through”. Let things go, be grateful and give back. So many people may never experience a life of golf, but you can be a part of giving them a chance to experience appreciation and a charitable heart. When people act like that two-some skipping holes and riding you closely- it’s okay not to teach them a lesson, rather let them play their game, play through, and you go on with the game you came to play!

“Doubt yourself and you doubt everything you see. Judge yourself and you see judges everywhere. But if you listen to the sound of your own voice, you can rise above doubt and judgment. And you can see forever.” ~ Nancy Lopez

With that, I wish you all of the top 10, more birdies, less bogies, and when you see forever, you see your life is exactly on par!!