Language: Madness VS. Un-foolishness

"Our language is the reflection of ourselves. 

A language is an exact reflection of the character and growth of its speakers." 

~ Cesar Chavez
American farm worker, labor leader and civil rights activist, who, with Dolores Huerta, co-founded the National Farm Workers Association.

(1927 - 1993)

    

While March may represent madness to some, whether it is on the basketball court or otherwise, language need not be made up of misstatements, misnomers, or mis-communication. Below is a list of thirty-one (one for each day of the month) statements, words or expressions that get used both ways that are presented here. Please take a look and determine which you believe to be un-foolish and correct versus what is madness in the statement, and even maddening to one or many:

1)   I could care less vs. I couldn't care less

2)   One in the same vs. One and the same

3)   Each one worse than the next vs. Each one worse than the last

4)   On accident vs. By accident

5)   For all intensive purposes vs. For all intents and purposes

6)   Extract revenge vs. Exact revenge

7)   Momento vs. Memento 

8)   Irregardless vs. Regardless

9)   Orientated vs. Oriented

10) Sorta vs. Sort of

11) Made a 360 degree change vs. Made a 180 degree change 

12) It's a doggy-dog world vs. It's a dog-eat-dog world

13) Waiting with baited breath vs. Waited with bated breath

14) Pawn off vs. Palm off

15) Take a different tact vs. Take a different tack

16) It's a mute point vs. It's a moot point

17) Hunger pains vs. Hunger pangs

18) Wet your appetite vs. Whet your appetite

19) Pour over vs. Pore over

20) Tow the Line vs. Toe the Line

21) Peak or peek my interest/curiosity vs. Pique my interest/curiosity

22) Tongue and cheek vs. Tongue in cheek

23) Take for granite vs. Take for granted

24) First-come, first-serve vs. First come, first-served

25) Deep-seeded vs Deep-seated

26) Shoe-in vs. Shoo-in

27) Make due vs. Make do

28) By in large vs. By and large

29) Do diligence vs. Due Diligence

30) Case and point vs. Case in point

31) Flustrated vs. Frustrated or Flustered (separately)

Did you get them all right? I did not during my research. If you are wondering which expressions were correct, they are all the latter of the two options, the second in the statements or words. When you remove the madness from your language, you will confidently, and un-foolishly share with others what you really mean!

Create Your Own Relationship LUCK

"Luck is believing you are lucky."

-Tennessee Williams

Relationships are give and take. Relationships are about respect and reciprocity. We may feel good fortune to have healthy relationships, and that's fair. Feeling "lucky" may be stretch, as that perceived luck comes from efforts invested. Create your own sense of LUCK in relationships through:

L - Listening
U - Understanding
C - Collaboration
K - Knowledge-sharing

This type of LUCK will surely make your relationships "top 'o the morning" to all involved!

Quick Tip - Encouraging Others in 5 Sincere Steps

When people are off, not up to speed, or even not performing as they can, instead of criticism, consider encouragement. Encouraging others in these three steps can be effective, if it is done sincerely and consistently:

1 - Let the person know how much has been accomplished - focus on what is already done correctly
2 - Share your honest belief in him or her with examples of other things done well
3 - Set the expectation that you anticipate a new result
4 - Ask if there is anything you can do to assist
5 - Thank him or her for being open to the ideas shared and move on 

While you may feel as though saying nothing or directing will be better, this 5-step process allows for building confidence, results, and your relationship! 

LOVE Your Success

"Where there is love there is life." 

~ Mahatma Gandhi
Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi was the preeminent leader of Indian independence movement in British-ruled India.

(1869 - 1948)    

 For the love of February, we are focused on hearts and flowers, and even romance, right? Well, how about we focus on success...your success?

For now, and in the future, it's about the LOVE of success. Yes, there is an L, an O, a V, and an E that guides us to embrace, and even love, our success. Please think of this in terms of:

L - Look 

O - Offer 

V - Verify 

E - Enjoy

More so, please practice the following:

L - Look for success. Define it for you, and only you. Compare yourself to your goals, and not to others. 

O - Offer people feedback by sharing what is going well and what she or he may want to consider doing to improve. Offering means you can also ask for feedback. Simply receive it with a "thank you". 

V - Verify expectations. Instead of thinking everything is urgent, and creating a "busy" life, ensure you know what is being expected, and when it is anticipated in order to move from assuming things are needed now, and moving through communication to the expectation. 

E - Enjoy life fully. Be present. Be engaged. Be willing to see things and people for the moment, for what is happening then, and let that be enough. Let enough be your success!

When you embrace the LOVE of your success, you allow for it, welcome it, encourage it in yourself and others, and ultimately, create it! 

Quick Tip - LEADing through Questions' Responses

While questions are a big part of connecting, learning and more, sometimes the answers are not enough. In addition to getting the response, sometimes we must lead others beyond the reply. This can be done through taking the LEAD:

L - Listen to learn, not to respond.

E - Expect to know things that are shared & to also be surprised by some information conveyed. 

A - Ask for specifics & ideas when someone provides insights and considerations. 

D - Decide on next steps/approach as to what to do separately and together.  

When you LEAD, you listen, expect, ask and decide...all beyond what was initially asked or heard! 

Your Inner Champion Emerges

"If you're a champion, you have to have it in your heart." 

~ Chris Everett
A former World No. 1 professional tennis player from the United States

(b. 1954)    

January can be a time for setting goals, making plans, and even stating New Year's resolutions. It is not the change of date, or year that makes it the "right" time to do your best, or set your sights on being a "Champion" of discipline, weight loss, outreaching to old friends, or spending time with family.

Sometimes a new year gives us ambition or hope that sadly fades as days pass or old habits return...all to leave us feeling unaccomplished, and even un-champion-like! Let's not let that happen!

So how can that disappointment be avoided? Instead of setting yourself up to potentially fail, set yourself up to succeed...in a way that let's your inner Champion emerge. Some steps for inner Champion exiting through words, actions and results include:
1) Define what a Champion is for you.
2) Look yourself in the mirror (literally and conceptually) to see what and who is there.
3) Be realistic about your interests, your capabilities, your ambitions, and your willingness to take action.
4) Be honest about what you don't like, don't do well, and what you don't want to do.
5) Put aside others' images, expectations, and pressures on you.
6) Imagine what you want to be, do, and have that will make a difference in your life from a confidence, courage, and champion-perspective.
7) Share the ideas/plans with someone, or some-ones you like, admire, trust and respect.
8) Act on your imagination, desires, and your overall champion plan.
9) Reward yourself with recognition of progress...not perfection.

Reflect the Champion you are in your attitude, actions and your results...as that Champion emerges in ways you may have never expected!

Quick Tip - ABCs of Aging

The concept of Anti-Aging is all around us, and yet there is only one solution or way to anti-age...that is death! That is not meant to sound morbid, just realistic! Anti-Aging isn't possible, rather aging gracefully is...through the ABCs, which are:
Attitude - Age is a number, and it is real. The way you approach it, with grace, gratitude and anticipation, or with gripe, dread and complaint, will matter in how you are received, perceived, and how you conceive of your age. 
Belief - Believing in yourself, your opportunities and your results will yield you an older and wiser approach to living rather than an old and dated way of living life.
Confidence - Being confident at any age, is the best accessory and age-embracing approach to living, learning and really loving life.

If you want to watch "dating" yourself, check these things:
1.     Eyebrows (Ladies - are they too thin?, or Men, are they too wild?)
2.     Posture (hunching makes us look less spry, and therefore, old)
3.     Double spacing (when writing, double spacing after a period is considered old school - only one is required now)
4.     Email (AOL accounts are nearly a sure sign of someone who isn't advancing with "the times")
5.     Glasses (get a style that suites you, talk little about "having to wear them" or your "old eyes", and  keep them off the top of your head)
6.     Age (do not talk about how old you are/feel in a negative tone or verbiage)
7.     Dress (trendy and/or too tight does not make you look younger, rather older attempting to look young)
8.     Shoes (be comfortable and stylish)
9.     Exercise and Diet (dieting and exercising only when attempting to lose weight shows your age, instead, make it a way of life)
10.  Technology (saying "I'm not good with technology", or "I'll give this phone to a young person" sounds like you have given up - and you have not!)

Similarly, the ABCs stand for Action, Boundaries, and Consistency. Take actions that work for you. Set boundaries on being negative about aging. And, be consistent in your approach to aging with grace and style.

The key is allowing ourselves to age gracefully while owning who we are...and not wanting to be who we used to be!

Gone...Not Forgotten

"If history were taught in the form of stories, it would never be forgotten." 

~ Rudyard Kipling
Joseph Rudyard Kipling was an English short-story writer, poet, and novelist.
He wrote tales and poems of British soldiers in India and stories for children.

(1865 - 1936)  

Regularly people rhetorically ask things like "Where did the time go?", and say things such as "This year just flew by!", and almost as quickly we nod in agreement or chime in with our own experiences that echo or mirror the sentiments.

In those comments, and in such hasty acceptance, we run the risk of keeping the pace, and the response to the speed of life in a position of impossibility...in a position of "gone too fast".

It is important, whether in a meeting, at a school dance, on a date, or while reading a book, that we allow ourselves to be present...engaged, and enjoying what we have to experience. Not that all meetings, dances, dates or books are enjoyable, and yet with keeping ourselves in the moment or experience, we can at least appreciate what is here and now.

And yes, time passes, and things end. If you'll remember that things need not be lost, people need not be forgotten, feelings need not be gone, and events need not be over, because we have the ability to keep them relevant, present and appreciated in our fond memories that we gratefully share with others.

So, the next time someone exclaims "Where did the time go?", or says "This year just flew by!", perhaps instead of complying, you may want to respond with something like "To great memories.", or "Wasn't it a great year?" in order to keep our past gone...not forgotten!    

Quick Tip - Invitation Etiquette

There are many events and opportunities this time of year, and that is the reason this quick tip is about hosting and being invited to "happenings".

When you are hosting:

• Get the invitations out as soon as possible, minimally a month in advance
• Have the date, time and theme clearly stated
• Consider a 15-30 minute window for a start time so that people have some flexibility for arriving
• Request a YES or NO RSVP by a certain date (consider 7-10 days prior to the event so you have time to make purchases and arrangements for activities)
• Send a reminder a couple of days prior to the RSVP deadline
• Let people who say "maybe" know that you will put them down as a "no, and to please not give it another thought
• At the RSVP deadline:
• Message people who said "no" and "maybe" that they will be missed and that you are not planning on seeing them there, rather you will look forward to some other opportunity
• Message people who said "yes" to share you are planning on seeing them at the time, at the location, where to park, and if there are any special plans (being outside or potluck, etc.)
• On the event day, get yourself ready prior to the start time so that you are ready to welcome and enjoy your guests!
• Within a week, send thank you notes to each person who brought you a host/hostess gift

When you are invited: 

• RSVP as soon as possible
• If you are sure, reply "yes" at that time
• If you are unsure, reply "no" at the time
• If something changes, contact the host prior to the RSVP deadline to ask if there is still space for you to change your reply to "yes"
• Arrive on time (not early or late), and if you are early, wait in your car or run an errand, as the host(s) may not be quite ready
• Be positive on arrival, and show gratitude for being included
• Bring a host/hostess gift that has your name on it (with wine or champagne, put your return label on the back)
• Offer to assist the host with something for the engagement (and do it, if someone has something for you, and back off if there is nothing mentioned)
• Be participatory and engaged
• Have a ball
• Stay minimally an hour or half the time planned, and leave within the end time, or as a lot of people are going home
• Resist talking about going somewhere else while at the event
• Say good-bye and thanks to the host(s)
• Within a week, send a sign of appreciation to the host/hostess (see the tip above for ideas)

Whether you are hosting or attending, be happy, ready, willing and able to truly enjoy the experience!  

Thanking Others - Appreciation Ideas

"Appreciation can make a day, even change a life.
Your willingness to put it into words is all that is necessary."

~ Margaret Cousins
Margaret Elizabeth Cousins, also known as Gretta Cousins was an Irish-Indian educationist, suffragist and Theosophist, who established All India Women's Conference in 1927. 

(1878 - 1954)  

There are many opportunities to say thanks, give thanks, and express thanks, and yet sometimes we don't make the time to do make it personal...or even to say it at all!

So, first, while below is a list of ways to consider thanking others with a personal touch, if you are verbally thanking people for thoughtfulness, actions, a great attitude, ideas and more, you are far ahead of many, so give yourself some kudos. And if you want to amp it up, you may like some of these, which are 10 favorites:

1.   Send a hand-written thank you note (without starting the message with "I"), or a photo of the two of you or a group of you with a note on the back of the photo

2.   Send a text or email about what s/he did, and copy others who were impacted or included so that it is a little more "public" among key players

3.   Get a stylish frame that suits the person's office or home, and print a special photo of that person and his or her significant other or family

4.   Tweet or post on other social media what the person means to you (briefly)

5.   Find a positive quote and share it with that person with the reason it made you think of him or her

6.   Donate to the person's favorite charity in his or her name

7.   Offer to drive or pick up the Lyft, Uber or Taxi fare the next time you go somewhere

8.   Send flowers with a card before arriving at their office or home for a visit

9.   Arrive with the person's favorite candy (whether it is Twizzlers or Godiva), and don't "give" it to the person, rather discretely leave it behind where it will be discovered later

10.               Make personal "gift cards" or coupons to do something for the person within a set amount of time (babysit, cook dinner, print a report), and then schedule them fairly quickly so it's clear you are happy to do them

Whatever you do, make it count, be sincere, and share your gratitude with an attitude of appreciation...and an amped up thank you that is about the others more than you! 

Quick Tip - Tricks to Compelling Tradition

It's a tricky time of year, as the holiday season is upon us, and with that, there are many traditions...desired or expected...from interest to obligation.The trick to compelling tradition is to in fact, compel traditions...to really want them for you, those you experience them with, and for the result!

How do you get there? Decide what you want to feel, and with whom you want to experience those feelings. Look at what you have done in the past, and look to what you want in your future.

Release those things, experiences, people, activities that do not compel you. Those that make you feel anxious in the way you dislike or in a "have to" state of mind, are not traditions, they are simply obligations. Resist criticizing the tradition in general or for others, rather just let people know ahead that the experience isn't a fit for your holidays and wish them well. If others attempt to guilt you into do it, stay positive, thank that person for their including you, and move on.

For new traditions, make a commitment to the experience and yourself. Expect nobody else to want to do it or to join in with you. Invite only those you want to include and resist apologizing to anyone not included. Traditions that compel evoke feelings of love, comfort and joy. Make the tradition your own, and allow yourself to be compelled by the newness!   

Treating Yourself & Others Well

"How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours."

- Wayne Dyer  

American self-help author and inspirational speaker. His first book, Your Erroneous Zones, is one of the best-selling books of all time, with an estimated 35 million copies sold.

(b. 1940)  

There is a lot of talk of treats this time of year, so let's look at how we treat ourselves and how we treat others.

We can be our best friend or our worst enemy...and sometimes those two "beings" can present nearly simultaneously. So, to be fair to yourself, please remember to:
1) Set goals for yourself based on your interest, passion, and purpose
2) Share your goals with those you respect and trust
3) Measure yourself against yourself for your plan and progress
4) Give yourself credit for what you do well, specifically, before you look at what to improve (and avoid the concept of "can't", weaknesses, and "should haves")
5) Wake up with anticipation
6) Go to bed with gratitude and appreciation 

We can encourage others or stifle them with the way we treat them. Often, how we treat others is a reflection of we feel about ourselves. So, to ensure we are treating others well, first, get out of your own way and ensure you are all about the other person, and not how you are being perceived, or how you feel. That is likely the most challenging part of treating others well. Once you do that, and you sincerely are focused on the other person, please:
1) Look at the other person (or picture that person if you are on the phone or writing a note/email)
2) Ask what the other person thinks or feels before sharing your ideas/input
3) Listen
4) Measure the person against his/her capabilities (not your unspoken expectations) and goals
5) Give him/her credit for what was specifically done well before you look at what to improve (and avoid the concept of "couldn't", weaknesses, and "should haves")

6) Be appreciative of the time together and grateful for what you learn through the positive and less-than-positive experiences with others

It can seem tricky sometimes, and that interacting with others (and even ourselves) is no treat. And yet, we have the opportunity to treat ourselves and others well each day in many instances, so imagine what a treat it will be to feel good about the interactions!

Quick Tip - Get Sharp!

Thank you to the Project Management Institute, and especially PMI Tampa Bay, for continuing to include me in your symposiums since 2007! One of the things I shared on September 12th during my keynote on The Four Questions Many Leaders Overlook was this:

Each of us has a dream, or many dreams, and imagine there was a guy who had the dream to be a lumberjack.  So, instead of just dreaming, he set out to make it his reality. So, he bought a few flannel shirts and an axe, and he moved to Minnesota to live, practice, and eventually pursue a position as a tree cutting lumberjack. With some practice, he found he could cut down 14 trees a day consistently. Off to a tree farm/ranch for a position he went! He got the job, and sure enough, he got 14 trees cut and the manager was pleased, and so was he. Weeks later, he was struggling to get to 14. Days following, he only got 12 trees, and then 10, and eventually, he only got 5 trees per day...even though he was arriving early, staying late and skipping lunch. Finally, deflated, he went to the manager, and said he had a few questions for him including "What could he do?", "How do people do it?", "Were there supplements he could take?", and more. Instead of answering the questions, the manager replied that he only had one question for him, and that question was "When was the last time you sharpened your axe?". The new lumberjack said "Sharpened my axe? But I was far too busy cutting down trees all day every day!!".

So, I ask you: When was the last time YOU sharpened your axe?  And, are you busy cutting down trees?  Get sharp, and sharpen your axe by:

• Surrounding yourself with successful people
• Knowing how you define success
• Investing in yourself and others
• Keeping an open mind to change (sound familiar?)
• Be willing to work for results
• Ask others for input
• Share ideas for the advancement of others
• Be happy for those who are doing well

And, stay open to what will serve you, and your dreams well as you spend time and energy to fuel those dreams into reality! 

CHANGE-ing Change

"Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything."

-  George Bernard Shaw 

Irish playwright and a co-founder of the London School of Economics.

(1856 - 1950)

Sayings such as "Change is the new constant", and "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over with the expectation that the results will change", have become commonplace. Reflecting on these, it's clear that change is all around us, and that change is not something new, or temporary, rather it is something that exists, and our responses to change are what can be changed, and/or are CHANGE-ing, meaning:

WHEN YOU ARE ANNOUNCING OR MAKING CHANGE

C - Check in with people regarding what they are hearing, expecting, concerned about currently 

H - Have an open mind to people's ideas and interests, gossip and concerns 

A - Answer things honestly with straight talk and direct information 

N - Note what themes there are and consider sharing them all with everyone involved 

G - Give options for ways to address things 

E - Encourage communication over speculation

WHEN YOU ARE RECEIVING CHANGE OR EXPERIENCING IT

C - Check in with what you and your emotions and thoughts on what may happen  

H - Have an open mind to other people's ideas and interests 

A - Answer questions or statements presented honestly with straight talk and direct inquiry  

N - Note what themes seem to be and gain confirmation or clarification of your perceptions  

G - Give yourself time to process the news 

E - Embrace what is coming with the approach of what you can do to make the most of it 

In either situation, change is coming whether there is a consideration for yourself and others or not.  To change how change is welcomed and shared, make the approach to it CHANGE to get changed results...for the positive!  

Quick Tip - Voicemail and E-mail Follow-Up

Since not everyone is on the same schedule, and emails and voicemails do seem to "disappear" at times, when you follow up with someone, please consider saying something like "You may or may not have gotten my message (voicemail or email), and in it..." instead of putting someone on the spot with "Did you get my email?" or "Did you get my voicemail?", and then waiting for them to say "yes" or "no", and likely following it with an explanation that, no matter how it comes out, sounds like an excuse to you.

Allow someone to save face with your grace by following-up with them in a non-questioning, kind way to keep the message positive, and positioned from professionalism and thoughtfulness versus something that may feel attacking and/or confrontational! 

From Reason to Results-Knowing the Purpose Driving Outcomes!

"For every good reason there is to lie, there is a better reason to tell the truth."

-  Bo Bennett

Former U.S. Senator

(b. 1933)

Sometimes the truth isn't hard to face, or difficult to share, it is sometimes simply something we haven't thought intentionally about, put in order, or even put in words!  And yet, if we are straightforward, and transparent with others, as well as ourselves, the truth, our own truth, is the reason, the purpose for what we say, to, and desire to convey.  It works like this: 

When you start with the purpose, the reason for what you believe, support, sell, promote, and more, for the things you choose to do, you can then create an approach, that leads to an option or offering, and then know the way you got to your results.  This is true in personal and business situations. 

In business, you must know the reason/purpose you are in existence, and that reason is not "To make money", or "To be the best XYZ", rather it is your passion, your direction, and it is something more personal and purposeful than just hopeful.  From there, your passion leads/guides your approach.  If you ultimately produce something, this approach  includes quality, styling and more.  The offering, in that case, is the product, and the results include how the product impacts the customer's life.

Individually,  it is important to know you, your purpose.  The reason you get up in the morning is your base.  When you have your inspiration, you have your grounding...your foundation.  That purpose serves to fuel your approach - a positive, pragmatic, or other attitude.  That approach is the sense for your actions, which, in effect, are your offerings.  People respond, and your get results with and through how people either connect or don't connect to you.

In either case, personally or professionally, it is the reason you are, the purpose that drives you, that ultimately leads to the results you yield..and hopefully those you want and deserve! 

Quick Tip - Calendar Invite Courtesies

While not everyone uses calendar invites, if you do please consider the following for a courteous approach:

1) Confirm with someone your plans before sending the invite, in other words, please do not send an invite as your only form of emailing regarding a meeting.  When calendar invites just show up for me, I find that odd, and typically that time is booked, and now I have a "to do" to follow up with the inviting party.

2) Name the invitation something other than "Meeting with Debbie".  If I accept this and it goes on my calendar, it looks like I am meeting with myself.  Additionally, give a clue to the topic in the invitation title.  Instead, consider something like "Sue and Debbie Meeting Re: Teamwork".

3)  Include an agenda of two to four topics to cover in the notes or messaging portion of the invitation.

The three courtesies will allow for consistency, respect, and positioning prior to the meeting that sets your meeting up for success!  

Think So? Think, So? 4 Ways to Encourage Critical Thinking

"Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another."

-  Napoleon Hill 

American author in the area of the new thought movement who was one of the earliest producers of the modern genre of personal-success literature. He is widely considered to be one of the great writers on success. 

(1882 - 1970)

Critical people are often avoided or disliked.  Critical thinking is rarely discussed, and often appreciated.  Imagine the difference in asking "You think...so?" and "You think so?"!

While we may think we want to be around people who think the same, perhaps we'd do well to be around people who think critically.  What is the difference, if you are both thoughtful?  Similar minds may get different results even though you are compatible if you encourage, use and even expect, critical thinking.  Planning for same thinking means you likely, and even unknowingly, shut down critical thinking.

Here are four questions (with two options for each) to ask to engage in critical thinking...of yourself and others:

1.   What do you think about XYZ? OR What are your thoughts on XYZ? 

2.   What makes you think that OR How do you know this to be true? 

3.   Will you tell me more? OR What else can you tell me about that? 

4.   What questions do you still have? OR What questions can we explore together? 

When we focus on critical thinking, we are open to ideas and options.  When we focus on criticism, we see what is wrong or closed.  In other words, it's the difference in "You think so?" and "You think...so?".  Being a critical thinker allows yourself and others to explore and share thoughts without as much judgement as a right or wrong answer provides.

Quick Tip - Making the Shift

Making the Shift  

There are expressions such as "it's the little things that matter", and "good things come in small packages" that remind me of how some slight "shifts" can make a big difference.  When you are thinking of making a bit of a change, or you are willing to shift your thoughts, and therefore your results, please consider:   

• Shifting from working hard to working focused.
• Shifting from thinking how busy you are to realizing how productive you are.
• Shifting from being tired and frazzled to being full and fulfilled.
• Shifting from being exhausted by all you "have to do" to being energized by all you "get to do".
• Shifting from a work-life balance to a life balance, as work is just one part of your life.
• Shifting from "fake it 'til you make it" to "take it and make it yours now".

Make the shifts in order to see and feel the results!

Get CONNECTED

"All is connected... no one thing can change by itself."

-  Paul Hawken 

American environmentalist, entrepreneur, and author.

(b. 1946)

A lot of people network, or meet people regularly, and yet how many of them, how many of us, are really CONNECTED?  In order to learn from others and from experiences, it is important to make that true connection.

CONNECTED people are, do. and/or have the following:

C - Care 

O - Offer ideas 

N - Notice people 

N - Notice things & situations 

E - Engage others to learn 

C - Create relationships that are mutually beneficial 

T - Tell of wins 

E - Entertain, and even expect feedback 

D - Decide to engage each day in many ways 

To be truly effective, this all has to be, and therefore, you have to be sincere, consistent, and filled with the desire to make a difference...not for the superficial contacts, rather, for the real connection!