Lessons Learned from Being SAD (Social At a Distance) and Not Sad!

Please know this is not a complaint.

Being physically distant is important currently.

Being socially distant is something that is negatively impacting people's lives, emotions, and their outlook.

From the late part of March, I have encouraged people to use the expression "Social At a Distance" rather than calling our recommended physical separation "Social Distancing". While these are similar words, the impact can be much different from one to the other.

Still, while this may encourage you to rephrase the concept, I also reflect on what Social At a Distance also can mean - being SAD. Hmmmm...when someone is sad, are they wrong to be or feel that way? No. So, when someone is SAD, are they wrong to be or feel that way? Some say yes. Still, I feel like we are doing what we can by remaining Social At a Distance, and here are some lessons I have learned from the experience:

• Eyes are expressive and making eye contact on video or in person, really makes a difference in engagement - at any distance
• Words matter, so speaking to people and acknowledging them, even with a "Hello" or "Good Morning" has a positive impact
• Leaving a message or sending a text or email asking for nothing and yet sharing that the person is on your mind and you wish them well, can make someone feel less lonely than without it
• A driveway hello or masked engagement is replacing a hug or a handshake, and while they are different than we'd like, they a special, too.
• Walk and talk meetings have the benefits of being distanced while covering distance, and that may be a standard approach to meetings moving forward
• Embracing the reason for being Social At a Distance means keeping the future in mind during this present change in behavior

With these lessons learned in mind, it keeps me happy, or at least positive, about being SAD versus being sad about the situation!

TREAT Yourself to Happiness

Happiness doesn't depend on any external conditions, it is governed by our mental attitude." 

~ Dale Carnegie

American Businessman & Writer.

 (1888 - 1955)

According to Kira M. Newman, who writes for Greater Good, there are 6 Scientific Facts That Link Happiness with Good Health, including:

• HAPPINESS PROTECTS YOUR HEART. 
• HAPPINESS STRENGTHENS YOUR IMMUNE SYSTEM. 
• HAPPINESS COMBATS STRESS.
• HAPPY PEOPLE HAVE FEWER ACHES AND PAINS.
• HAPPINESS COMBATS DISEASE AND DISABILITY.
• HAPPINESS LENGTHENS OUR LIVES.

With those happiness benefits in mind, here's how through your own actions you can treat yourself to times of happiness:

• Make a list of no to low cost activities that bring you joy (joy is an enhancement of happiness), and pull three a week from a jar where you've placed these activities from your list, and schedule time for each of those treats of joy-filled happiness
• Schedule a personal phone call with one of your best friends who is also happy. When you schedule it, it becomes a priority and there is less phone-tag, and more likely happy laughter and sharing
• Drive a path of nature or beauty in your mind, and while staying focused on your journey, strive to see something new or light in spirit to treat yourself to some happy bonus time
• Meditate about happiness and the thoughts, feelings, words and actions that create that sense for you
• Decide you'll be happy in your words and actions at the beginning of the day, and then record your happiest moments, with gratitude, at the end of the day. Read the list from yesterday upon waking each day.
• Smile, and watch who smiles back. The simple act of kindness begets much kindness

These, and other intentional focuses on happiness may not wipe away all heartache and concern, and yet with these, the heart can pump some energy, and our concerns may get complimented by ideas to combat those low points.

Since happiness has value, and little cost, there's few or no reasons not to treat yourself to a little this Halloween...and throughout the upcoming months!

Happy People Experience Challenges

"Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful."

~ Albert Schweitzer

French-German theologian, organist, writer, humanitarian, philosopher, and physician.

(1875 - 1965)

Too often people look to others for their happiness. Happiness does not come from others, or from external influences, rather happiness comes from within.

Happy people are happy. Happy people choose to be happy. They laugh, they smile, they share in the joy of others, and they are happy for the success of people who are thriving!

Still, happy people experience challenges. Happy people get disappointed. Happy people get down, and happy people get distracted. The difference in happy people experiencing these challenges is that happy people know they are challenges, categorize them as such, and they allow themselves to get, grieve, process, and flow through the emotions that come with the challenges. Happy people, truly happy people, do not act like all is okay, or fake their feelings. They may only share them with a few, and yet most importantly, they are honest with themselves about what is happening and how to overcome and learn from what is in front of them.

So remember, you may see a happy person with a look of concern or disappointment, surprise or dismay, and yet that same happy person will show resilience and belief in what lies ahead instead of staying where they are for that moment. They happily traverse the rough waters to get to higher ground and moments of joy. They choose to be happy, and therefore, they are. Choose happiness in the up and down times. Choose happiness in the celebrations and the defeats. Choose happiness in life!

Honing In on HOLIDAY Happiness

"Sharing the holiday with other people, and feeling that you're giving of yourself, gets you past all the commercialism." 
~ Caroline Kennedy

American author, attorney, and diplomat who served as the United States Ambassador to Japan from 2013 to 2017.

(b. 1957)

Honing In on HOLIDAY Happiness

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year! Or is it? That, is up to you.  Check out the HOLIDAY options below...
Are you on the Grinch-less side, or are you Scrooge-full?  You can move from one to the other with your attitude, your words, your actions and your responses. While some button-pushing may push you in a direction you don't enjoy, pull yourself back to being a Grinch-less, holiday-happy person...whatever you celebrate! Check in on your HOLIDAY spirit below, and choose well!
Are you Grinch-less:

• Happy
• Opportunity-seeker
• Loving life with cheer
• Immersed in gratitude
• Dedicated to joy
• Available for fun
• Yearning for more

Or are you Scrooge-full:

• Hectic
• Overscheduled non-sleeper
• Longing to hide
• Inclined to cop a ‘tude
• Desperate for a drink
• Avidly avoiding others
• Yelling in stores

And, when you decide to be less Scrooge-full, and more joy-filled, you find the Grinches move away from you more and more, for you have less and less in common! Happy Holidays, and make the most of all of the season!

Choosing Wisely for the Best You!

"Choose your love, Love your choice."

~ Thomas S. Monson

American author.

(b. 1928)

We choose how we act, respond, or don't respond through many ways. You are already successful, and by considering these choices perhaps you'll not only be the most well-rounded success you can be, you'll be the most well-rounded person you can be!

Choose happiness. While others will attempt to squash it, question it, and even deny it with interference, jealously or nastiness let that be on them, and for you, choose happiness anyway!

Choose kindness. There's a goodness, a thoughtfulness, an approach a kind person takes. A door is held open, a hand is held tight. Even though others may not see it, recognize or reciprocate your efforts, choose kindness anyway.

Choose integrity. Lead with, and close with respect, honesty and decency. Integrity can seem so large, so vast at times. And in life, in each of our lives, there will be times others attempt to sway you to go against your morals and beliefs. There may even be times it is tempting to take the short cut...the easy way. Look yourself in the mirror, and choose integrity anyway!

Choose collaboration. Notice I didn't say compromise, not even competition! There is enough room for everyone who is good when we focus not on others, but focus on success overall. When people expect you to give up, acquiesce or even lose to them, work through it together, and choose collaboration anyway!

Choose forgiveness. This, of all the choices we have, can often be the most ideal, and yet the most challenging. It's often said it takes two to tango. I say it only takes one to be jealous...and it only takes one to forgive. When we hold on to anger, disappointment and disagreement, we don't punish the other person, we keep ourselves from the freedom to move on. So, even when someone seems unacceptable, unrelenting, dreadful, or unforgiving themselves, choose forgiveness anyway!

Choose generosity. Not just generosity of money, when you can, also generosity of time, spirit and compassion. There are takers and makers in this world. Be an opportunity maker. Even when others seem to take advantage, or simply take, take, take, choose generosity anyway!

Choose love! Have an open heart. Be vulnerable. Let love in, and let love out. Love yourself first, and love others as well. Some people may be cold, put up a wall, have been hurt, and not say I love you back. Smile inside and out, and choose Love anyway!

It's the choices we make, not the circumstances we are in, that make us who we are, and who we will be.  Make your choices. Choose well. Choose well for you. Choose to be the best you can be!