The Why Ways!

While wondering the why, sharing the why, and respecting the why of people, projects and organizations, is tremendously important, knowing the most appropriate way of getting to that why, is absolutely imperative!

The why is the purpose, the why is the drive, and sometimes, with some people, the why is the way.

What is this "Why Ways", then?

Why Ways work like this:

• Think of "why" as purpose, reason, or driver.
• Articulate the why with yourself
• Communicate the why with others
• Do not ask people "Why?", rather get them to the purpose, reason, or driver without the question "Why...(anything)?"
• Ask to understand what the person values, what the person anticipates happening, what the expectations are
• Inquire to learn how the person sees the outcome, how the person arrived at the decision, how to move forward

The Why Ways are a lot about the ways of the whys, meaning the way why questions impact us.

Even though gaining insight into the "why" empowers us, the act of being asked "Why?" does not. Instead, that quick quip of judging tone and impression makes us feel as though explaining, or even defending, is in order when the seemingly simple inquisitive word "Why?" is posed as a question.

Embracing the importance of WHY without creating an environment that can lose sight of the reason and purpose is possible, and with consistency, even probable!

Answering Questions Effectively When Presenting

There's No "Great Question"

In a meeting or presentation, on the phone, over video, or in person, welcome questions when you are the expert/speaker/presenter.

Let people know that you are open to questions (rather than saying "Hold your questions until the end."), and when you get one, resist saying "Good question". "Good question" is an old trick for buying time. When a speaker says it each time, it is clearly insincere, and if a speaker says it often, it sounds like judgement of the question or person.

Here are three steps to effective question answering:

1) Use "Th..." words when someone asks a question. Saying "Thanks for asking" or "That's something I've explored" gives acknowledgement and appreciation for the interaction.

2) After that, address the inquiry directly and clearly.

3) From there, ensure you did, in fact, answer the question by asking "Did I provide what you were seeking"? or "Was that information what you wanted?", or "Did that answer provide what you sought?", or "Did I answer your question?". These confirming questions allow the person making the inquiry to ask more and/or confirm that you provided what was sought.

If you don't know the answer to a question, state that, write it down, and give a time and day when you'll have the answer for the person. Allow others to know if they want the answer, too, to provide their contact information to you for being copied on the answer. And then, research the answer and provide it by the time you offered!

Questions are a way for you to engage, grow and learn in presenting, so welcome the ask, and provide answers professionally for impact!

Demonstrating Character Vs. "Being a Character"

“Character is power; it makes friends, draws patronage and support and opens the way to wealth, honor and happiness.” - John Howe

If you want to demonstrate leadership with character, before you leave your office and/or your business each night, consider offering/asking these three things to each person with whom you work:


-Do you have the support you want?
-Is there anything I can do to assist you?
-I’m heading out…anything else before I leave?


These added inquiries may create more conversations and even take a bit more time than you anticipated, and yet you will show your character…instead of being the character who ducks out while others are working!!

Not "Why?", Rather "What?" & "How?"

“There are no foolish questions and no man becomes a fool until he has stopped asking questions.” ~ Charles P. Steinmetz

Many questions are asked each week, each day, and even each hour. We ask them of ourselves, our family members, our colleagues and our clients/customers. Questions are “good”, right?

Some questions yield good results…if by that you agree that good results are those that lead to conversation, relationships and results.

What makes a question more effective than another? Sure, your body language and tone have to demonstrate interest and openness, and making the presumption you are already there with a willingness and inquiring mind, what’s next?
The way we start a question is a big part of how the reply will result. “Why?” questions evoke defense, and “What?” and “How” questions invite conversation.

How so? When we were a toddler, we started asking “Why?” a lot, and at first, it was inquisitive and entertaining to others, and soon thereafter, our parents started thinking and even saying “because” with a quick quip, a sigh, or even impatience. It’s practically ingrained in us to react to a “Why?”, and yet we typically respond more thoughtfully to the “What?” and “How?” inquiries.

By replacing questions like “Why did you think that proposal was going to win?” with “How did you arrive at the price?” and/or “What indicated the positioning was aligned with theirs?”, you will progress and learn rather than hear excuses or raised voices (and blood pressure!).

Your challenge: for one week, resist asking “Why?” and replace the questioning with “What?” and/or “How?”. If you start with a “Why?”, simply rephrase. Watch, feel and even track the different interactions, and see if “Why oh why?” isn’t worth striking from your written and verbal communication…

4 Questions

"Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning."

~ Albert Einstein

4 Questions



While I often share the idea of three - seven questions to ask in certain situations, yesterday, with three different colleagues/clients, the topic of ineffective work performance was broached. When I am asked what to do/say, my mind thinks what not to do/say, as often as leaders, we tell people what we want, when we want it, and think that is interactive somehow.


Instead, an effective and revealing approach is to ask four questions of the under-performer:

1. What is going well?

2. What would you like to improve?


You have seen these first two questions many times before, and they are timeless and true, so, here are the new ones:


3. What is getting/standing in the way of you getting where you want to be/do/have?

4. As your leader, what can I do to assist you, break down any barriers, guide you, etc.?


Leave it up to them to share and communicate after you facilitate open communication. For as a leader, your role is to meet your team members where they are, and lead them where they are willing and able to go. Those four questions will uncover (or reinforce) the willing and likely the able, parts for you!

The Question Bug Gets the Answers

Remember to ask, ask, ask...in every situation! It is rare that someone regrets asking a question, yet often it is heard and thought that someone wishes s/he did ask something...even if it is/was just one more thing.

The old adage that there is no dumb question is true...with the exception that the truly dumb question is the one left unasked!

So, without apologies or hesitation, please proudly and firmly ask quick, direct, thoughtful questions. And then, enjoy and learn/grow from the answers!

Asking the Right Questions

When people ask the question "why?" it often makes people being asked the question defensive, yet an inquiry about "how did you come to that decision?", or "what lead you to that decision?" allows people to share without offense.

Really, test it...look in the mirror and ask a "why" question, and watch your face distort and hear your voice accuse. After that, stay in the mirror and ask a "how" or "what" question, and see the softness in your voice and face.

Keep your communication direct and without a wrongly-perceived attack by resisting "why" questions and replacing them with the "what" or "how" varieties.