The Tricks & Treats of Words (& Phrases)

"So difficult it is to show the various meanings and imperfections of words when we have nothing else but words to do it with."
—John Locke

While words matter, and the words we share with others make a difference, what matters most is what we say and believe in ourselves - through the words we choose!

As we make our selections, here are some seemingly non-negative or neutral phrases that have simple replacements that not only will empower you, they will position you positively from a mindset perspective. Let's say they go from tricks to treats in this near Halloween update. Those tricky phrases that are positioned to treat you well when stated slightly differently include:

There is no need to "pick your poison" (tricky) when making a choice, since that sounds dreadful when you can "pick your purpose” (treat), instead.

In place of "killing them with kindness" (tricky), which would leave people dead, "convert them with kindness“ (treat) and they'll still be here for you to share kindness with later.

Rather than "taking the high road" (tricky), implying others are on the low road, decide to "travel the road that’s best for your journey" (treat), and let others travel theirs, too.

Stop "being the bigger person" (tricky), because that implies the other person is small, instead, "be your best person, and let others be theirs" (treat).

Skip the "It is what it is" (tricky), as that implies there is nothing at all that you can possibly do about it, or as a result of it, and go with "it is what we make of it" (treat), and then take action!

Resist the "Agree to disagree" (tricky) comments that sound defeatist, and share sincerely what you respect and appreciate about someone with something like "While we may not agree now, please know I am considering your perspective on this, as being open to learning is part of growth" (treat).

These options are choices for us, and by choosing, we decide what we are going to say and do with intention rather than simply going with familiar expressions! And, in each case, we take out the tricky language as we treat ourselves, and others, to positive positioning!

#YouAreStrong #ProfessionalDevelopment #PersonalDevelopment #KIND

#Leadership #EmotionalIntelligence #PerformanceCoaching #Growth

Lessons Learned: Flying without Earbuds

 "Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood. All is riddle, and the key to a riddle is another riddle."

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

With air travel back in full swing, and many missed 2020 trips rescheduled, I found myself on a plane again, yet out of practice for my typical in-flight packing, meaning there I was with no magazines and without earbuds.

Clearly, that was not devastating, and yet there were unexpected lessons learned by hearing and seeing so much en route to Wisconsin golf, including:

1. "Please" and "thank you" are neither dated nor overrated, and they are best, used over and over sincerely
2. Smiles go a long way in tight quarters
3. Saying "excuse me" is far better than pointing
4. Speak to yourself out loud like your best friend would speak with when you're challenged by something or someone (such as not being able to get your bag in the overhead)
5. Having empathy means giving others grace for their possible nerves and discomfort with flying while remembering you are all wanting to get to the same place safely
6. When you don't have earbuds, you are allowed to sit, sleep, chat calmly and in a low tone, and you are not allowed to watch anything with sound, regardless of how low you turn the sound
7. Whenever you travel, packing your earbuds & magazines are your best bet for enjoyable travel ;)

Cheers to many good miles ahead!

Communication in Difficulty

Since difficult conversations are a part of life, and some people are defensive, or suspicious, ensure you don't contribute to the defensiveness or uncertainty by using the following language and skipping the other:

By focusing on the useful words, you just may skip some of the disagreements and difficulty!

Small Word Changes = Big Results!

"Better than a thousand hollow words, is one word that brings peace."

~Buddha

Words matter. Words are a part of how we are perceived. Making some small changes in word selection may make big changes in your results, including the following:

These replacements will allow for clear communication and respectful language for you and those with whom you engage! More to follow next month...

Sure Your Hear This, and Yet, Not That!

Isn’t it curious how expressions become common, and we say them without even thinking about what they mean, or the opposite of them would mean?

For example:

It’s suggested “perk up” when someone is down, but I have yet to hear someone suggest people “perk down” when someone is high strung.

People “pull out all the stops” to make something spectacular, yet there haven’t been the acts of “pushing in all the stops” to slow something down or make something mediocre.

People excuse themselves to “shower off” when dirty or sweaty, and I just don’t ever get to hear that someone say s/he will be going to “shower-on”.

So many people announce they "haven't got any qualms with that" when an idea is proposed, and unfortunately I've yet to experience the time when someone interrupted to state "I have just one qualm with that idea".

And one of the ultimate oddities, is when someone states something is “Out of whack”, and interestingly enough, when the situation or item is fixed, they surely do not announce something is “Back in whack”!

So, in all the words and language choices we have, make your choices count, and have fun with the meanings, and even the reverse of the phrasing of what you are conveying!