THIS MONTH'S Lessons Learned: Appreciative of Another Year on Earth, and Ways to Keep Learning!

Today is a happy birthday, and I am thrilled! Thanks for being a part of this year!

If there were themes for the past 12 months, they'd be Miles & Smiles, Impact & Energy, AND, Declutter & Appreciation.

By covering a lot of miles running, in a car, and on a plane, personally and professionally, certainly, there were many fond memories and a lot of smiles - some of them through some pain and feeling disappointed as well as while really having fun!

LESSON LEARNED: Smile through challenges in order to live and learn, and to get to the parts of life that really matter - making lasting memories with people you care about!

Considering impact and energy, one of my focuses was to very intentionally assess where my energy was being expended, and how/what the impact was.

LESSON LEARNED: It is key to ensure a good return on investment where energy is shared - for others and yourself, so move on when the ROI isn't there and double down when it is!

When I made time for decluttering things physically, that lead to further appreciating space and effort alike, so new donations were made, new groups were joined, existing boards were resigned from or I rolled off them while clear choices were made to spend time and give talent where it would be valued, respected, and appreciated.

LESSON LEARNED: Free yourself of clutter, any clutter in space in your home, business, and especially in your head, as that freeing feeling will allow for a sense of centering...and clear direction for progress!

Thanks for the memories, and cheers to many more as I go into being 54 with a genuine smile on my face, with intent and energy directed toward kindness & growth, and a clear mind and clean office & home - ready to embrace whatever is ahead with gusto and gratitude!

#Birthday #Thanks #LessonsLearned #Gratitude #Kind #kindness #Kindnessmatters #1KindAct #KindnessNeedNotBeQuarantined #Perspective #LifeLongLearner #AgingGracefullyIsEmpowering

THIS MONTH'S LESSONS LEARNED: Hurricane Habitat

For adults, where we live is a choice.

Michael and I choose to live in Tampa, Florida, where we have evacuated many times since settling here in 2004.

Still, each time is an experience and a journey - physically and emotionally!

Lessons learned include:

• Things are things, and people are people - things can be replaced and people cannot be replaced. Be grateful for the people you have around you and/or are in touch with. Reach out to check in on others.
• Having empathy and grace with others is key in life, especially during hurricane preparation, as stress impacts people in its own way!
• Gas is essential for travel, and so are medications, and otherwise, you can likely get what you need where you are going, so hoarding is self-centered, not self-survival.
• Have faith in decisions made prior to the hurricane and trust the process of insurance and other aspects of life, for worry on top of rain and potential spoiled items in a refrigerator is useless (much like that food!)!

While I am not sure what will be remaining after this Lessons Learned is shared, it is certain that it will be an experience, and more lessons will have been learned...hopefully at not too much of a cost!

LESSONS LEARNED from a Year of Sharing Kindness

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. 

~ Philo

At 19, I wanted to change how people perceived me...not superficially, rather genuinely through my learning and changing...growing and going through the experiences of making the most of my personality, making me, different.

That journey may never end, and that's okay by me, as gaining insights and being challenged is good for each of us who wants to explore boundaries and enhancements.

Kindness was something I loved experiencing and sharing. 

In 2020, while going through the process of kidney donation alone during the pandemic, kindness was not only evident, it became a passion. Defining, understanding, and speaking on it became a priority, as sharing in joy in hopes of others experiencing it is part of my practice. It's vulnerable and exciting to share from the heart through stories of joy and missteps, and as a keynote for over 15 years, I got that. What I didn't expect is here, in these lessons learned:

1) How I define KINDness is all about K-I-N-D: Know thyself, Include others sincerely, Nudge past nice and Do something bigger than yourself.

2) Kindness is about being direct and real, not about being polite or getting overlooked. Some people don't agree or appreciate that. Those people sadly seek to judge by letting me know that I am not being kind to them when I'm providing feedback and being open and communicating likes and dislikes in a non-confrontational way that still shows my conviction.

3) I'd rather be true to myself, and kind to myself and others than be liked. And, everyone absolutely has the right to not like that, like me, not care for me, not align with my approach, and/or disagree with me. It's not a popularity contest, rather life is about bringing truth to concept.

4) Be discreet with your criticisms in words and/or facial expressions in front of people, as they may feel isolated or on the outs in your company while you also go to people directly to resolve anything that occurs, rather than stewing over something that may or may not happen, and then choose to be open to feedback and strive not to be defensive.

While I won't stop being kind and learning and sharing kindness, I will continue to embrace how positively kindness has empowered and impacted me...with hope that others will do something similar for themselves!

Lessons Learned from Mowing the Lawn!

 The simple act of paying attention can take you a long way. 

~ Keanu Reeves

#QUOTE

Even though nearly all of our street-mates and other neighbors have a lawn service, Michael and I mow our yard each week (or twice a week in the Summer).

That may surprise you or simply not interest you. Either way is understandable, as that is only part of the story...

The rest of the story is that one of us mows it each time. The person who mows is the person who lost to the other at golf that week. Or, another way to look at it is that the person who won, does not mow the lawn that week!

Because golf is a fair game with handicaps and tee that relate to those handicaps, it is a sport for the ages and for nearly all who want to play it. The fairness allows for Michael and me to truly compete through injuries, obstacles, and across the state, the country, and into other countries!

With all the blades cut over the years, much has presented itself, and here are a few lessons from mowing the lawn:

1) Being competitive means winning and losing and that a win or a loss does not make any one person a winner or a loser overall!

2) Being outside, for golf, and for mowing, is a joy in itself, and even if mowing means golf perhaps wasn't stellar, it does mean we got to golf, and for that, we certainly can be grateful.

3) Extra steps are extra steps, and those bonus steps mean health-mindedness can be a way of accepting the time spent paying off a debt!

4) Mowing is growing if we let it be, as that simple time can be a chance to reflect on the round, what went well and what was missed, so the beauty made from mowing can be a byproduct of the reflection, and the insights on the game can be the byproduct of the mowing.

Similar to my lessons learned from lawn mowing, we can learn lessons in life, such as having perspective on wins, enjoying our environment, keeping health a priority, and maintaining personal growth!

#ProfessionalDevemopment #PersonalDevelopment #PerformanceCoaching #Kind #OneBeanerPerformanceCoach #LivingKindly #KindnessIsMyOwnSuperpower #Kindness  #CoachsCorner #WorkdayWakeUp

Lessons Learned: Flying without Earbuds

 "Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood. All is riddle, and the key to a riddle is another riddle."

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

With air travel back in full swing, and many missed 2020 trips rescheduled, I found myself on a plane again, yet out of practice for my typical in-flight packing, meaning there I was with no magazines and without earbuds.

Clearly, that was not devastating, and yet there were unexpected lessons learned by hearing and seeing so much en route to Wisconsin golf, including:

1. "Please" and "thank you" are neither dated nor overrated, and they are best, used over and over sincerely
2. Smiles go a long way in tight quarters
3. Saying "excuse me" is far better than pointing
4. Speak to yourself out loud like your best friend would speak with when you're challenged by something or someone (such as not being able to get your bag in the overhead)
5. Having empathy means giving others grace for their possible nerves and discomfort with flying while remembering you are all wanting to get to the same place safely
6. When you don't have earbuds, you are allowed to sit, sleep, chat calmly and in a low tone, and you are not allowed to watch anything with sound, regardless of how low you turn the sound
7. Whenever you travel, packing your earbuds & magazines are your best bet for enjoyable travel ;)

Cheers to many good miles ahead!

LESSONS LEARNED: Getting to Teach "Kindness as a Leadership Trait" Course

Kindness is in low supply and high demand.

As an avid reader of a double-digit number of books on kindness, a Kindness Attendant in "The Kindness Community" (an online worldwide group), and someone who wrote a book titled Reversing the Slobification of America, I look for ways to share kindness and kind actions as well as encourage others to do similar things.

A couple of weeks ago, the 14-week Florida State University Jim Moran Institute for Entrepreneurship graduated a cohort. That was the first-ever group who got to experience the class. Since Shane Smith, Ph.D. took a chance by allowing me to do what became known as the "Kick-off to Kindness" as the start of each Tuesday's experience.

Here are a few lessons learned from the fortuitous opportunity to share facts, acts, and the impact of kindness personally and professionally:

Kindness has four formats: toward self, toward others, toward the community, and toward the world

Most people are the least kind to themselves

Encouraging people to be kind to themselves is a form of permission

A kind act done for recognition is SPORTSMANSHIP, a kind act done for getting someone to collaborate or sign a contract is BUSINESS, and a kind act done for another person to feel good and/or have an opportunity, whether that person knows you did it or not, is true KINDNESS

Kindness makes some people uncomfortable and they are not wrong, rather have likely not been exposed to kindness which creates the discomfort

Kindness can be learned

Kindness begets kindness

Kindness is super

Kindness is powerful

(It follows that) Kindness is a superpower, and it is a superpower each and every one of us can use for good

Whether you get to facilitate a course on kindness is not the point of this "lessons learned" segment, rather the overall awareness of how a kind word, kind act, and a kind heart are available to us all, and all of us, whether we know it or not, can use (and use the impact of) a lot more kindness in our lives!

Lessons Learned from Loss

 

On Friday, February 26, 2021, after our 2021 American Heart Association Go Red for Women Lunch-In virtual event, I said hello to my husband as I picked up Michael from Tampa General Hospital after he recovered for a couple of days after his transplant donation surgery. Later that day, a call came through to me that my father's heart rate had dropped into the 20s. While Michael progressed each day, my father received a pacemaker through a cardiologist near where he lived, and unfortunately, did not progress each day, and on Monday, April 12th, at TGH, under excellent, attentive care, we said goodbye to him as he took his last breaths. Over the past year, Michael and I have had two dear friends lose their young sons, we have both lost our fathers, and we both donated kidneys. In attempting to process through these experiences, we hope our friends have found comfort, our dads are in heaven together laughing about how the last time the four of us golfed together at Copperhead, they did, in fact, beat us (and I am talking smoked us on the links) for the first time, and, we hope the two people who now have a new lease on life with their third kidneys make the most of every moment. Life isn't always what we anticipate, and yet life is filled with memories and opportunities to participate in it, and yes, even in challenging times, embrace it.  May all of us feel that way as we recall what was likely a memorable year in its own way for each of us. Some lessons learned from loss include: Be grateful for what we have or had versus hateful for what we don't have or lost. When someone dies, share condolences and yet do NOT ask "What happened?" or if someone shares a loss with you that impacts you, too, be mindful not to dump your grief on that person. If someone is grieving, however that grief happens is theirs, and it is right and best for them. If someone shares a "Sorry for your loss" with you when you have a loved one who passed, and they knew that person, too, say "Thank you, and sorry for your loss, too", as they lost someone as well. It's never too late to share your condolences...not ever...just don't apologize for the timing and make it about you - let it stay about the loss and your support. Whatever you have lost is not the same as what another has lost. You can sympathize and empathize, yet nobody ever understands your loss exactly, and that is okay - just let it be. Every bit of support and love, prayer, flowers, cards, and well-wish or fond memory offered is/are impactful, felt, and appreciated. Love and loss go hand and glove with memories and smiles. Loss is loss, and yet sometimes loss leads to many moments of sharing and recalling good times...on some days, so choose to say hello to this, your next phase after loss...

Lessons Learned: COVID-Safe Hosting

While I was concerned, and (perhaps overly) communicative about the 13th year anniversary of Bubbles, Baubles & Bling, where any/all women are welcome to join in on the post-birthday, pre-holiday Wednesday-before-the-Wednesday-before-Thanksgiving traditional after-hours shopping event held at one of my friend's boutique, it was a huge success because everyone was safe, kind, and part of a group experience that evoked feelings of less disconnected & more hopeful!

Lessons learned personally & through attendee feedback include:

Come from a place of care and safety in the invitation and the overall event experience when you host something for 1-2 hours maximum, as keeping clear and brief in both your plan and the time keeps everyone from a sense of further "fatigue".

Ensure everyone knows the rules of engagement in regards to mask, how masks are worn, whether guests are welcome, and more with clear guidelines and communicate via phone, text and email what is expected ahead of time without apology or a sense of it won't be as good. You can even have a fun mask competition with a prize (we did, and it added to the positivity around the masks).

Greet everyone personally to be certain there is no miscommunication before someone is "in" the event.

Have a kind, professional, swift plan for if someone rejects or disrespects the guidelines.

Do not serve food and drink (I served mini bottles of water and champagne with straws to place under masks, and now do not recommend any food or drink to avoid confusion on keeping masks on).

Do not be disappointed, mad, or disrespectful when someone chooses not to participate from the start, or even close to last-minute (normally there is a 5-day cancellation consideration), if something happens regarding the pandemic cases and/or their comfort.

Be clear in any and all sharing of the event (before, during, after) that all guidelines were followed, without additional apology or explanation so the message is clear, concise and focused on positivity and gratitude.

Missing out fully may be your choice. Having a virtual option may be best. If you decide to host an in-person event, please consider safety over tradition and health over the desire to be unencumbered. No matter what you do, here's to health and happiness without any complications!