Lessons Learned: Flying without Earbuds

 "Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood. All is riddle, and the key to a riddle is another riddle."

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

With air travel back in full swing, and many missed 2020 trips rescheduled, I found myself on a plane again, yet out of practice for my typical in-flight packing, meaning there I was with no magazines and without earbuds.

Clearly, that was not devastating, and yet there were unexpected lessons learned by hearing and seeing so much en route to Wisconsin golf, including:

1. "Please" and "thank you" are neither dated nor overrated, and they are best, used over and over sincerely
2. Smiles go a long way in tight quarters
3. Saying "excuse me" is far better than pointing
4. Speak to yourself out loud like your best friend would speak with when you're challenged by something or someone (such as not being able to get your bag in the overhead)
5. Having empathy means giving others grace for their possible nerves and discomfort with flying while remembering you are all wanting to get to the same place safely
6. When you don't have earbuds, you are allowed to sit, sleep, chat calmly and in a low tone, and you are not allowed to watch anything with sound, regardless of how low you turn the sound
7. Whenever you travel, packing your earbuds & magazines are your best bet for enjoyable travel ;)

Cheers to many good miles ahead!

Meeting While Eating - Business Dining Simplified

"No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation." ~ Fran Lebowitz, American Writer and Humorist (b.1950)

There are times when you are anticipating, and even expected to dine while conducting business. The holiday season that is nearly upon us, often brings about more of that than we typically experience. I am no food snob, or even Emily Post, and yet, I get asked to share tips and thoughts on Dining Etiquette, which I call "Meeting While Eating" fairly often, and here are my top 10 points to ponder:

1) When leaving the table during dinner, you place your napkin on your chair seat or back, and not on the table...it's dirty, let's keep it off the table. And, when you have your napkin in your lap, keep it folded over with the fold toward you (no bibs or tissues for your napkin's use!).

2) All electronic devices stay off the table during dining. Bring them out only before or after eating (preferably after). Not even having the phone off and face down is okay...it tells people you are possibly interested in something other than them while you are together. Let that time with the other person be "enough".

3) When you are not sure what drink or break plate is yours at a set table, Think "b" and "d"...bread and drink. By putting your thumb and first finger together under the table, you can remind yourself of that to use as "yours". And, if someone takes yours, be kind, and discreetly ask the waiter or waitress for another plate or whatever it is, instead of calling someone out who doesn't know the Think "b" and "d"...bread and drink trick/reminder!

Also, if you use sweetener/sugar packets, the empty packets are to be slid under your plate slightly, and not wadded up on the table. The waitstaff will discretely dispose of those.

4) Keep purses, keys, sunglasses, bags and portfolios off the table while eating. All accessories on the table should be related to the restaurant and/or the meal, and not coming from you...put them in another chair or under yours...or better yet, leave them locked in your car trunk!

5) When at a cocktail party, keep your right hand free to shake hands. Carry your drink in your left hand, and resist carrying food when you're on the move. Stop and eat, dispose of the plate, and then socialize. And, at all types of line-served food, buffet or cocktail party, get a new plate each time you get food.

6) When passing bread, butter, dressing, etc., you offer to your left and pass to your right. And, while we are on passing - the salt and pepper are passed as one unit...even if someone asks only for the salt.

7) Even if you are clearly at a business lunch or dinner where a sale may take place, it is not okay to bring out papers and demo items/products during the meal portion of the meeting. That can be messy for the papers and items as well as the people, so wait until you have finished eating...after all who has ever signed a contract with their mouth full of food?

8) It matters what and how you order when at a group dinner or event! Watch the lead of the host. No doggy bags. Watch ordering appetizers, finger food, desserts, coffees and drinks, as you could be "that guy" or "that girl" who is the only one with 6 courses! Use "please" and "thank you" with wait staff, as they are doing their job, just as you may be doing something related to yours!

9) Chewing of anything other than food is inappropriate - no ice, gum or items will enhance a business meal meeting.

10) Remember, unless you have agreed ahead of time, s/he who invites, makes reservations, pays, and thanks someone for joining, so keep that awkwardness of the bill off the table, so to speak, by being clear ahead of time.

Meeting while eating is a way of life for most of us, and these tips will keep you enjoying yourself, your company, your meal, and your results!

Name that Name - Introducing Yourself

“Do you suppose I could buy back my introduction to you?”

- Groucho Marx, American Comedian, Actor and Singer, 1890-1977

While many of us meet a lot of people, and have been schooled on the ways to remember names, such as repeating the name three times, asking about the origin of the name, picturing people who have similar names, and/or associating the name with actions/events to connect, I have recently realized many people are not aware of the best way to introduce themselves.

To introduce yourself, first remember the other person’s favorite topic is him or herself, and therefore, s/he is thinking about him/herself and not you. That may seem harsh, and yet it is true.

Since the receiver of your name and handshake is not focused on you, if you focus on that person, you’ll be on “the same page”, so to speak! The best way to introduce is to:

Make eye contact
Smile, or minimally change your expression
Extend your right hand to shake hands
Listen for the other person’s name first
Share your name clearly, slowly and fairly loudly

Then yes, repeat their name, associate, chat and move on. What I am finding does not happen a lot includes: the eye contact, the extension of the hand, the waiting for the other person’s name, and the person sharing his/her name. Wait, that’s everything!!! Primarily people (almost hard to believe) do not state their name – yikes – no name, and yet that is how you will identify the person! If someone does not share his or her name, rather just a(n insincere) “nice to meet you”. Remember, it is not only professional, it is most appropriate to say “And your name is?” with a smile and kindness in your voice, or a pleasant “please forgive me, I missed your name.”

Remember, even if someone else introduces you, please repeat your first name minimally to the recipient of the introduction. After all, you want to be memorable by your name, and not as the person who did not share his/her name!!

Sharing Your Opposing Opinion Professionally

“Professionalism is knowing how to do it, when to do it, and doing it.” ~ Frank Tyger

A well written opposing opinion message allows for clarity and understanding (not to be confused with agreement). As long as you have an intent that is focused and clear while anticipating your audience, you will likely have success. Still, in order to be as well prepared as possible, the following steps to effectively opposing an opinion, will assist you in achieving just that!

1. Decide what you want to inspire: thoughts, exchange, debate, etc.
2. Imagine various perspectives, regardless of your position.
3. Assess whether you have exposure, experience or expertise in the subject area and know that your audience will know that as well.
4. Use a considerate approach, including:
a. Background on topic (what you have heard/read) for acknowledgment
b. Share one or two stories with facts and evidence that are compelling/interesting
c. State your opinion

If you are writing to someone, use the following additional tips:
1. Create an outline and draft including an introduction (Background), body (Story) and conclusion (Opinion).
2. Use proper vocabulary, punctuation, spelling and tense without acronyms (unless used only after the full description), slang or colloquial references.

For both verbally and in writing embrace the following:
1. Be passionate about the topic without being emotional about potential conflicts.
2. Look forward to the replies/ideas that you may or may not have considered.

Best wishes on those "used-to-get-heated" topics by using a professional, time-tested approach!

To Friend or Not to Friend...That is the Question!

“The right to be let alone is indeed the beginning of all freedom.”
~ Justice William O. Douglas

To Friend or Not to Friend…That is the Question


And, the answer is…


If you use Facebook and LinkedIn (highly recommended), and you receive a friend request from a colleague, manager, acquaintance, or co-worker, you may get that odd twinge in your belly that tells you if you confirm, you will be exposed, and if you decline, you will be a jerk. Ah, but there is another option, and that is by clicking the send a message link and replying with something similar to the following:

Hi XYZ!
While I appreciate your seeking me out on Facebook, my professional contacts and messaging are on LinkedIn, so here is that contact information http://www.linkedin.com/in/YOURNAME. Please connect with me there.
Thank you, and see you on LinkedIn!
Kindly,
Your Signature

This will keep you in touch, out of reach of the awkwardness of that person being your FB friend, or having to adjust your privacy settings for each person, and still make the connection on social media…