This Month's Public Speaking Tip: 6 Parts Become 4

“If you know what you want, you can have it.”
~RH Jarrett

While we have been through the six parts (not steps) to presentation prowess and public speaking success, those six are about to become four!

The parts for which we have been covering to prepare your talk, training, or pitch include the following:

1. Open-getting attention with facts/story

2. Preview-time, agenda, purpose

3. Body-sharing the information through agenda items

4. Interaction-eye contact & audience engagement

5. Summary-check purpose, agenda & do Q&A

6. Close

So, since the Close is the restating of the Open, and the Summary is the reverse order of the Preview, your four aspects to sharing information and ideas are:

1. Open/Close-Wowing and ending with facts/story

2. Preview/Summary-time, agenda, purpose to guide and review

3. Body-sharing the information through agenda items

4. Interaction-eye contact & audience engagement

Even though you may have wished your public speaking could be as easy as 1, 2, 3, it is instead as simple as 1, 2, 3, 4!!!

The Tricks & Treats of Words (& Phrases)

"So difficult it is to show the various meanings and imperfections of words when we have nothing else but words to do it with."
—John Locke

While words matter, and the words we share with others make a difference, what matters most is what we say and believe in ourselves - through the words we choose!

As we make our selections, here are some seemingly non-negative or neutral phrases that have simple replacements that not only will empower you, they will position you positively from a mindset perspective. Let's say they go from tricks to treats in this near Halloween update. Those tricky phrases that are positioned to treat you well when stated slightly differently include:

There is no need to "pick your poison" (tricky) when making a choice, since that sounds dreadful when you can "pick your purpose” (treat), instead.

In place of "killing them with kindness" (tricky), which would leave people dead, "convert them with kindness“ (treat) and they'll still be here for you to share kindness with later.

Rather than "taking the high road" (tricky), implying others are on the low road, decide to "travel the road that’s best for your journey" (treat), and let others travel theirs, too.

Stop "being the bigger person" (tricky), because that implies the other person is small, instead, "be your best person, and let others be theirs" (treat).

Skip the "It is what it is" (tricky), as that implies there is nothing at all that you can possibly do about it, or as a result of it, and go with "it is what we make of it" (treat), and then take action!

Resist the "Agree to disagree" (tricky) comments that sound defeatist, and share sincerely what you respect and appreciate about someone with something like "While we may not agree now, please know I am considering your perspective on this, as being open to learning is part of growth" (treat).

These options are choices for us, and by choosing, we decide what we are going to say and do with intention rather than simply going with familiar expressions! And, in each case, we take out the tricky language as we treat ourselves, and others, to positive positioning!

#YouAreStrong #ProfessionalDevelopment #PersonalDevelopment #KIND

#Leadership #EmotionalIntelligence #PerformanceCoaching #Growth

This Month's Public Speaking Tip: ENDS on the Close

"There is no real ending. It's just the place where you stop the story."

-Frank Herbert

Remember back in the audience when you were in a presentation and someone said "That's it!"? It can feel like a huge sigh of relief to the speaker, and yet it seems so abrupt to those watching/listening.

That is no way to end a presentation, and yet many do simply dismiss everything they did with those two words, which are sometimes followed by "any questions?", (which we already know the questions are to be addressed in the summary).

The parts for which to prepare your talk, training, or pitch include the following:

1. Open-getting attention with facts/story

2. Preview-time, agenda, purpose

3. Body-sharing the information through agenda items

4. Interaction-eye contact & audience engagement

5. Summary-check purpose, agenda & do Q&A

6. Close

The last months covered the OPEN, the PREVIEW, the BODY, the INTERACTION, the SUMMARY, and now the CLOSE is where/how you explore what best ENDS the presentation through:

E - Extend interest in the topic by revisiting the open

N - Nearing the end without being rushed

D - Doing the service of completing the cycle from start to finish with a refer-back and/or a new take on the OPEN in order to "tie the bow" on the experience

S - Say "Thank you" and leave the space/stage

Having a powerful and purposeful close means you end on a high, and importantly, the audience gets the full experience from the way you begin to the way you end, and has a true Return On Investment from the time spent with you!

#publicspeaking #ProfessionalDevelopment #PersonalDevelopment #KIND

Avoiding Defensiveness When Being Dismissed or Played

"No matter how beautiful the theory, one irritating fact can dismiss the entire formulism, so it has to be proven." 

~ Michio Kaku

The other day on the golf course, a male golfer who we were playing with said to me "What you need to understand is..." at that moment, as I realized what was, unfortunately, happening, my husband, Michael, put his hand gently on my arm as if to say 'I see you, even if he does not'.

I felt myself tense as the words and attitude of the speaker brought a directness that was overbearing and dismissive all at the same time.

Sure, I wanted to scream or snap back, and yet that would not have been my best moment or choice. I was not going to be played. What did I do? The same thing I encourage you to do when you are dismissed or felt like an approach someone takes with you is insulting:

1) Be thankful that person showed themselves to you, and say something like "Thanks for letting me know how you feel about that."

2) Repeat back what you heard with words like "Sounds like you believe..."

3) Bring a calm perspective with verbiage such as "Here's something to please consider..."

4) End the discussion when you want with "Let's please leave it here with this..." or "Let's please respectfully close on this..."

To follow my example, I said "Thanks for sharing your view. It sounds like you believe XYZ, and while your view is yours, please consider that it may not be that of others. Let's please leave this at being respectful of each of us having the right to believe what we believe and forcing a view, or assuming you can force a view, isn't appropriate. Thank you." We hit our balls. I was sincere in my compliments of his good shots. We had a good round. If I hadn't stood up for myself, the round would have been a waste.

So, don't be dismissed, be direct. Don't be played, be powerful. When you are grateful, confirm what you heard, stay centered, and own the end of the experience, you may have felt dismissed at first and you will likely feel empowered last! 

#DoYourBest #ProfessionalDevelopment #PersonalDevelopment #KIND  #Leadership #EmotionalIntelligence #PerformanceCoaching #Growth

Public Speaking Tip: How to SUMmarize Your Talk Well

 A good headline is far more than a summary. It has to characterize, in a few brief words, the most important themes and news items of the article it accompanies. 
~ Parker Conrad

Have you ever been in a presentation and wondered what was covered when you were nearly at the end of the talk?

It's likely because of a few reasons, and one of the most common misses is that a speaker, a presenter, does not summarize what was covered to bring the information together before closing the engagement.

The parts for which to prepare your talk, training, or pitch include the following and this month, the focus is on the 5th:

1. Open

2. Preview

3. Body

4. Interaction

5. Summary

6. Close

The last months covered the OPEN, the PREVIEW,  the BODY, and the INTERACTION, so the SUMMARY is where the SUM of the experience allows for everyone to come together through:

S - Stating what was covered by reviewing the agenda items and the purpose/goal/objective to make certain that was all accomplished

U - Unlock the audience's ability to talk by addressing questions and confirming you provided what was being sought

M - Move through to the close gracefully and energetically

When you SUM up the presentation with an effective summary, you get yourself ready for a powerful close (which we will cover next month)!

#publicspeaking #ProfessionalDevelopment #PersonalDevelopment #KIND

Public Speaking Tip - InterACTion

 A good teacher, like a good entertainer, first must hold his audience's attention, then he can teach his lesson. 

~ John Henrik Clarke

Have you ever felt like someone was talking over you in a presentation, looking past you or above your head? Some public speaking tips encourage that, and it seems nuts, as we, the audience members, can tell when a speaker is not engaged with the audience at all, so don't be that public speaker.

The parts for which to prepare your talk, training, or pitch include the following, and this month, the focus is on the 4th:

1. Open

2. Preview

3. Body

4. Interaction

5. Summary

6. Close

The last months covered the OPEN, the PREVIEW, and the BODY , yet the INTERACTION is where true connection happens, and that is done through ACTing in these ways:

A - Asking questions of the audience, listening to replies, and not making anyone feel they failed. If you ask a question, be prepared to rephrase it in three ways before you answer it yourself. Do not be impatient, or it will seem like you are stressed or uncomfortable. You have thought of things and the audience is just joining in, so give them time to engage.

C - Creating various tones and timing in order to engage the interests of the audience since we follow sound and motion. Speaking in louder or hushed tones to tell a story or to emphasize information gets people intrigued by your thoughtful creativity.

T - Talking with, and throughout the entire room, meaning walk around, stop, sit, and ensure people know you are available and will be near them in some way throughout the talk. If you are using projection, black the screen at times to refocus the group, for if there is nothing on the screen, they are only interacting with you, and that creates a connection.

By the way, the interaction starts long before you begin talking. Meet people, shake their hands, and be available while sincerely interested. People who meet you and connect want you to succeed, whereas, sadly, those who see you as a stranger often look for your errors or missteps. You want the audience to gain from your being there, so give to them before, during, and after your public speaking opportunity!

#publicspeaking #ProfessionalDevelopment #PersonalDevelopment #KIND

Owning YOUR OPENing Connection

Our team has always believed that neither cost and distance should ever prevent people from connecting with their friends and loved ones, and won't rest until everyone, everywhere is empowered with that opportunity.

~ Jan Koum

Like a specific dance, a score of music, or plays for a sports team, people can learn the standard moves, or improvise, but regardless of the venue, regularly following the steps in the planned order proves to be the most favorable approach. The same is true for presenting powerfully.

The parts for which to prepare in your talk, training, or pitch include:

1. Open

2. Preview

3. Body

4. Interaction

5. Summary

6. Close

The rest of the year, we will address these parts (and one more tips, too). This month, let's start with the OPEN!

Because how you begin is often how it flows, and how it flows is how it goes, and how it goes is how it concludes, the way you start your public speaking or presentation comments really matters!

While some call this a variety of words or phrases, I call it the OPEN, and this is absolutely NOT "I am so excited to be here" or "I had a hard time thinking of what I'd talk about today", or "I am so nervous to be here", as that is all about you, and not the audience, and it is about your experience, and not theirs!

Instead, think of the OPEN as a way to:

O - Offer energy and insights into your style

P - Participate WITH the audience, not talk AT them

E - Engage in thought and action

N - Navigate to the space and commitment you are grateful to get

In order to have something in your opening that is relevant to the audience and topic you can also tie it back into the close for continuity and professionalism. Options for ways to open after you have greeted/thanked/acknowledged the audience, include:

• A visual on the screen or music playing

• An activity that involves the entire audience

• An activity that involves only a few in the audience

• A statistic, study or fact presented directly or in a fun way

• A joke (if you are using intentional humor, and you are funny)

• A short story (which could involve humor or not)

When you start with something listed above, you get people introduced to your style, and they are quickly part of the experience, and not simply taking in you or your data! The OPEN will lead you to the PREVIEW, which we will cover next month.

So, open strong, and continue with strength for the audience, and about the audience, and watch your talk soar!

#publicspeaking #ProfessionalDevelopment #PersonalDevelopment #KIND

Stressed or Blessed?

 "Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into a positive one." ~ Hans Selye

If you were to answer the question "Are you stressed or blessed?", what would you say? Stressed? Blessed? Both?

If you think you are stressed, you will likely feel stressed. When you feel stressed, you typically approach people and situations impatiently and/or with a bit of negativity or doubt.

While if you think you are blessed, you will likely feel blessed. When you feel blessed, you will often approach people and situations with hope and openness, even positively!

Should you think the answer is "Both", you will bounce back and forth between stressed and blessed, and even though that could seem fair, go past fairness into goodness by adjusting your thoughts toward blessed. 

Blessed thoughts are those of abundance and strength, gratitude and appreciation, perspective and purpose. Being in a state of blessed in thoughts and feelings doesn't necessarily imply a religious or even spiritual connotation, yet it can be a huge part of your connectedness - however that concept of 'blessed' sits with you.

Alternatively, stressed thoughts are those of lack and fear-filled vulnerability, and can be an unfortunate part of a lack of connectedness.

By being blessed, not stressed or both stressed and blessed, you will serve yourself, and additionally, those around you will have the chance to feed off your approach and attitude!

#ProfessionalDevelopment #PersonalDevelopment #KIND #Leadership #1KindAct #Growth #EmotionalIntelligence #EmotionalIntelligence #PerformanceCoaching #OneBeanerPerformanceCoach #LivingKindly #KindnessIsMyOwnSuperpower #Kindness #CoachsCorner #Resilience #Resiliency #Growth #LessonsLearned #Gratitude

Debbie@DebbieLundberg.com 813.494.4438 DebbieLundberg.com

Overcoming Imposter Syndrome

Belief in oneself is one of the most important bricks in building any successful venture. 

~ Lydia M. Child

While Imposter Syndrome, the feeling that you are not qualified, or somehow a fake, has been studied since the 1970's, it is a topic of interest and request of late for my practice. In particular, with women, the past five years has had an increase in tailoring a talk on Imposter Syndrome, and over the past three years, men and women have been interested in knowing what it is, how to identify it, how to overcome it, and how to coach others beyond it. 

So, the Top 10 summary is broken down into 4 categories:

 2 – Be Your Biggest Fan

 4 – Set Personal Boundaries

 2 – Practice Vulnerability

 2 – Own Your Impact

10 ways to lessen imposter syndrome as you increase confidence. 

They are:

10 - Own & celebrate your achievements! (Both are essential to avoid burnout, find joy in your uniqueness & cultivate self-confidence.)

  9 - See yourself as a work in progress. (Start something new to gain skills rather than not doing it to avoid failure! Better to fail as the future you than succeed only as the current you!)

 8 - Set expectations & make commitments…(while overcoming the desire to be perfect!)

 7 - Veer away from external validation. (Nobody has the power to make you feel good (or bad) about yourself, unless you let them!)

 6 - Know you’re a person so you will take things personally…(And, take constructive criticism seriously, and choose to make it feedback for growth by asking 1) Is it true, 2) Does it matter to my brand, 3) Do I want to make a change?)

 5 - Know that:  Gossip is garbage, Jealousy is junk, Comparison is crippling, and Doubt is destroying (And that these approaches: gossip, jealousy, comparison, and doubt are all "small thinking" - be bigger than those ways!)

 4 - Get & engage with a mentor or coach! (With full transparency, and know that it is not likely your direct leader/supervisor, for when someone decides advancement and pay, there can be challenges with transparency not carrying over into those decisions.)

 3 - See others as inspirations and resources - as opportunities to guide/assist you! (There is no shame in asking for help!)

 2 - Stop over-apologizing (One apology is enough, if you made an error, and then move to thanks for waiting, or thanks for accommodating - gratitude over apology is confidence-building! Plus, many "I'm sorry"s can be replaced with "Excuse me" and/or "Please forgive me for..." instead without hesitation!)

 1 - Practice Emotional Intelligence (Be consistent, fair, kind, and gracious…to you & others!)

Imposter Syndrome is a state of mind, and it is a real feeling that with these steps, awareness, and a willingness to couple humility with the recognition that you have strengths and value, it is also something that can be overcome!

#ProfessionalDevelopment #PersonalDevelopment #Kind #EmotionalIntelligence #PerformanceCoaching #OneBeanerPerformanceCoach #LivingKindly #KindnessIsMyOwnSuperpower #Kindness #ImposterSyndrome

Debbie@DebbieLundberg.com 813.494.4438 DebbieLundberg.com