Lesson Learned during COVID-19 Performance Coaching

In the end, it's about the teaching, and what I always loved about coaching was the practices. Not the games, not the tournaments, not the alumni stuff. But teaching the players during practice was what coaching was all about to me.

~ John Wooden

While I have delivered over 45 complimentary sessions on working remotely, presenting in a virtual environment, communication and service when at a distance, and more, the coaching sessions conducted on the phone and via Zoom have provided many wonderful opportunities to serve and assist leaders all over the country these past months.

Having used Zoom for over 4 years, I felt at an advantage of sorts - very confident in a video setting, and ready to "talk in the box" of the laptop.

Clients have been wonderful. Still, during their wonderful sharing, there have been some common themes I will share these next few months with tips and lessons learned.

The first, which is so powerful, is that when people, all of us, learn the difference in obligation and commitment, we grow personally and professionally.

I am not talking definitions, rather this is about purpose, energy, and emotions with obligatory actions versus committed efforts.

Professionally, the difference in obligation and commitment is the difference in feeling managed and feeling led. People who are managed sense they "have to" do things, where when we are working with and for a leader, we feel committed to getting to results.

Similarly, obligation is to the minimum as commitment is to the maximum. Effort follows the feeling!
Personally, the difference in feeling like someone "needs to call so-and-so" versus wishing they could visit that person is the difference in a relative and family. With relatives, many feel obliged to attend, participate and even accept, where with family, we want to be there, experience moments together, and learn from similarities and differences.

Finally, the difference in obligation and commitment is clear when someone has a relationship with someone versus being in love or a loving relationship with someone. Obligation in a couple leads to resentment and distance, where commitment grows the love and therefore, the trust, respect, and lasting love.

Sometimes coaching, especially the performance coaching I get to do, has a lot more to do with people and the way we interact than simply the presentation or the business decision at hand.

Please strive for commitment over obligation to grow your leadership, family and love!

Today's TLC

"Take it from me,
Don't be a victim of society,
You can't put yourself in a position to be neglected,
And disrespected,
You have to do what's not expected." 

~ TLC Lyrics from "His Song"
TLC is an American girl group whose repertoire spans R&B, hip hop, funk and "urban" soul. TLC originally comprised of lead singer Tionne "T-Boz" Watkins, rapper Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes (until her death in 2002) and singer Rozonda "Chilli" Thomas. The group was very successful in the 1990s and early 2000s.

(1990 - present)

    

TLC is often about Tender Loving Care, and that will not go out of style...yesterday, today or tomorrow! 

In addition to the Tender Loving Care, there is some extra TLC for each day that can, and likely will, enhance your experiences. This revised (or revisited, if you have seen me speak on this) TLC is about: Talent, Leading/Leadership, and Commitment.

Talent - You want to assess talent fairly, get the right talent in roles, surround yourself with the talents of self and others that enhance your happiness and results!

Leading/Leadership - You lead in each way, on each day, in the way your think, act, and engage with others. Leadership, and leading, starts with you, and allows others to follow. 

Commitment - This is about desire, focus and consistency. By working toward one goal, and staying committed to that for the right reasons, allows for direction and follow-through.

This enhanced TLC is not without the historic TLC of Tender Loving Care, rather, it is complementary, and allows that combination of past and present to bring you, your work, your business, and/or your relationships to yet another TLC: Top Level Communication!

Compel to Commit!

"Commitment unlocks the doors of imagination, allows vision & gives us the right stuff to turn our dreams into reality." - James Womack, Author

Tell someone what to do, and, at the most, you may get compliance.

Compel someone with words and actions, and, at the least, you will likely get commitment.

Compliant people do the minimum.

Committed people give their maximum.

Get compelling...get commitment...get the maximum results!!

The Enemy of TLC...

“Competition is easier to accept if you realize it is not an act of oppression or abrasion - I've worked with my best friends in direct competition.” - Diane Sawyer quotes (American news anchor, Reporter and Journalist, b.1945)

While all champions have rivals, and most successful companies and people have competitors, those types of opposites or contrary positions can be invigorating and drive the results...for both sides!

The same is not true for being opposed to TLC. Since we have embraced TLC as Talent, Leadership and Commitment, those three contributors often have opposition, too...only that opposition is the enemy...not something that drives and inspires, rather something that works to deplete or delete the opposite.
The enemy of talent is dishonesty, the enemy of leadership is pessimism, and the enemy of commitment is apathy. Stick with your Talent, Leadership and Commitment...it is the combination to win over dishonesty, pessimism and apathy every time.

Ensure you are staying true to your talents, and your quest for talent, to your leadership and your development of other leaders, and your commitment and the commitment of those with whom you surround yourself.

TLC for You and Me

“When you don't know that you don't know, it's a lot different than when you do know that you don't know.”

- Bill Parcells, ESPN Analyst, Former NFL Coach (b.1942)

Football season is back! It is an exciting time of year for sports fans, as hockey, baseball and football are all available for our viewing pleasure! Bill Parcells is quoted this month because his Sunday pre-game commentary reminded me of what I call TLC for You and Me. It was as though he’d heard me speak or gotten inside my brain. I don’t know, and since I don’t know where it came from, per his quotation, it is a lot different than if I did know that!! So, regardless of what the reason, thanks, Mr. Parcells for reminding me of a worthwhile tip to share this month!

TLC is often thought of as Tender Loving Care, and I appreciate that. For me, TLC is about personal and professional success, and it stands for:

Talent
Leadership
Commitment

Whether it is your family, a sports team, or your work team or business, to be confident in what you know, and get to where you are driving forward to learn what you don’t know as you strive to succeed, you must have the right people handling the things that suit their skills and interests (Talent), the direction and passion to go out and make changes where needed and keep things the same where they are working well (Leadership), and all be working toward the same goal for the same reasons with a common brand and definition of a "win" (Commitment).

As you move forward finishing out the 3rd quarter, take a look at your roster, see who is playing on your team, is the TLC apparent? Do you have the Talent, the Leadership, and the Commitment to get to your goals and make it a winning season for your household, your league, your group or your business? Tweaking the TLC, and letting everyone know all three areas, Talent, Leadership and Commitment combine to be the base that will determine your results, will surely assist you in knowing you are the champions you can be!

Re-engaged Commitment in 4 Easy Steps

"Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes; but no plans."
~ Peter F. Drucker

Re-Engaged Commitment in 4 Easy Steps

Here we are in 2009 already! If you are seeing challenges in people being committed fully to school, the family, work or the team, consider these four steps (in order) to re-engage and get results:

1) Take time to look back. Allowing people to briefly discuss the good and the bad of the past year (rather than the "bury your head in the sand about the economy" approach far too many are taking...or worse yet, the "sky is falling, let's complain, complain, complain approach) will make it known that you are aware, that you care, and that you are willing to listen and share.

2) Project long and short-term results. The long term, big picture, will keep things in mind, and the weekly or bi-weekly goals will allow perspective, accomplishment and a sense of reward for efforts made.

3) Get the input from all. When your family or your team is going forward with a trip or a project, they may not be the decision makers, but you can sincerely find a way to allow their input to matter and be seen in the end. Consider asking for a theme idea for a trip with the family and ask colleagues and team members at work for the pros and cons...the potential pitfalls and winner circle moments. Make sure you listen and learn, as you are likely to hear something you have not considered.

4) Reflect on the day/week/month/quarter with what went well and what can/will be improved. Celebrate successes and head off potential disasters with open communication and planning.

Through taking time to look back, projecting long and short-term results, getting input from all involved, and reflecting on the time frames consistently, you will get re-engagement and productive, communicative family, team or group members in 2009!

Have a question about your career or other things in your life that you think would be a great topic for a tip? Suggest it, please by emailing me directly to Debbie@DebbieLundberg.com!