Meet People Where They Are

"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed." 

~ Carl Jung

Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst who founded analytical psychology. His work has been influential not only in psychiatry but also in anthropology, archaeology, literature, philosophy, and religious studies. 

(1875 - 1961)

While it can be hopeful to anticipate someone's potential, and reflective to think about what we used to do when we were in a similar position historically in our career/life, it is a challenge, at times, to meet people where they are...and not where we think they are, or where we wish they were!

Personally and professionally, being willing to see people for whom they are, and for what they are doing, serves us well. While that is a simple concept, doing it is not necessarily easy, as we can be overly optimistic, overly pessimistic, or simply unrealistic.

Before determining what to say or do with someone in any situation, remember to see him or her for the person he or she is, and not what you want them to be or hope they'll be. That can be time consuming...and even lead to the proverbial tongue-biting! Ways to accomplish "meeting people where the are" include:
1) Consider the situation & the options
2) Consider what the person wants to do and not do
3) Discuss options openly (not in a directive way)
4) Ask for reasoning and share yours
5) Offer perspective through stories
6) Keep the others from harming themselves or others in their decisions/actions
7) Let the person make his or her own mistakes and make for his or her own success

Meeting someone where s/he is will allow for leading with empathy while allowing others to grow!

GEAR up for Plans

If you want to get something accomplished, and who doesn't, then here's a quick tip approach to GEAR up for your plans to come to fruition:

G - Goal - Have, set and share a goal.
E - Expectations - State expectations for yourself and others involved.
A - Anticipate - Anticipate challenges and obstacles and ways to overcome them...even if those are people and attitudes!
R - Reality - Have a real view of your results and potential results. Be real, stay real, and really appreciate what you have.

When you GEAR up, you get up to speed, and ready to succeed!

Communication: Differentiating Assumption & Expectation

High achievement always takes place in the framework of high expectation. ~ Charles Kettering, American inventor, engineer, businessman (1876 - 1958)

Since most of us know the expression "Never assume...", and when you assume, you make...(of you and me)". These ideas give warning that assumptions are not a good thing. Similarly, we have notions of "high expectations yield high results", and "expect nothing; get nothing". These messages carry the connotation that expectations are a good thing... So what is the difference in assuming, and that not serving us well, and setting expectations, and those giving us focus? I believe the act of communication, effective communication, is what separates the two! Assumptions are often kept to oneself, and therefore, have no other opinion or fact combined with them to enhance or sway them. Assumptions also tend to be negative. I rarely hear something like "I assumed Debbie would do well, and she did!", rather don't we hear mumblings after the fact that are similar to "Well, I assumed you wouldn't show, and you did not."? Expectations can be private, but when most effective, are typically are stated. "You know this material well, and I expect you will finish this report by Tuesday and send it to the leadership team via email for them to review before Thursday's Board Meeting." lets us know the who, what, where, when and how. They convey a belief in someone else, and they are expressed to the other person. Assumptions seem dark and negative because they are often without consideration for the other person's talents or input, where expectations can be clear and positive when the communication that surrounds them has the intent of productivity and the message is clear. If you find you, or others you know are assuming, remember to communicate with (not just to) them about the importance of the message to move to expectations over assumptions.

Weekly/Monthly Scorecard

“The expectations of life depend upon diligence; the mechanic that would perfect his work must first sharpen his tools.” - Confucius

So often we think we know what is expected of us, and we believe we have communicated what we expect of others in our office, business, company or firm, and yet, I often hear of and experience miscommunication that leads to frustration and even lost accounts/opportunities. That plays to the timeless adage "inspect what you expect"!

In order to avoid not "being on the same page", please consider a weekly or monthly scorecard for you and for your team members. Like in school when we used to get grades fairly frequently (whether we liked those marks or not!), the scorecard has the following on it:

+The result area
+The goal
+The attainment for the time period
+Plan for improvement/recognition area


By utilizing a clear, quick approach to deliverables, it is far less likely that miscommunication and/or disappointment with performance will take place, and far more likely that the appreciation for the effort will!