Public Speaking Tip: Correcting Someone In Others' Presence

"Correcting bad habits cannot be done by forbidding or punishment."
~ Robert Baden-Powell

There you are in a meeting when someone states something completely incorrectly. What to do? Ignore it? Tell others? Shout out the right answer or information?

While none of those are recommended, or likely effective, or good for your reputation and rapport with that person, and others, there is a solution...or two!

When you hear someone state something that is incorrect, HELP them and the situation humbly and subtly by making sure you:

H - Heard them correctly by repeating it back, and allowing them to restate or back off, and then 

E - Encouraging them to explore what that information could do or not do if more is not considered, then 

L - List other options by leading them to an improved statement or suggestion, and finally

P - Provide encouragement and collaboration for moving forward.

It will look something like this:

Pat states sales were only down 2% and that slow marketing has the projections behind when you checked that all marketing and promotions ran as planned and that sales are down 20%.

You may think "Oh no - that's way off!!", yet you say:

"Thanks for sharing that information, Pat. Please forgive me if I heard the information incorrectly, as it sounded like sales were only down 2%." Pat may or may not agree. If Pat realizes 2% was stated and 20% was the real number, you are done, and if Pat stays with it, you then say "You likely had information from earlier in the month before our final numbers were out, and that is before some other drastic drops happened. There are a lot of reports, and very recently a new report came out that I happened to get to see. Some of the options for looking at the sales are by months, by region, or by product line, and with those breakdowns, unfortunately, we will all be seeing a 20% decrease in sales after our marketing efforts went off as scheduled. I am here to assist with how you want to address that 20% decrease with strategy, sales reviews, or a joint session with marketing."

By being direct, calm, and open while not ignoring, talking with others later, or shouting, you will allow someone to save face, you build trust, and together, you can create a solution!

#PublicSpeaking #ProfessionalDevelopment #PersonalDevelopment #Kind #Leadership

January 2018 Lundberg's Life Tip

Similarities with Differences

When you meet someone who reminds you of someone else, someone you don't like, push yourself to find something about that person that you like, admire and/or respect. 

When you meet someone who reminds you of someone else, someone you really like, push yourself to find something about that person that is different, something you like, admire and/or respect about him or her separate from the other person in your life.

By putting yourself in a position to see the person differently, you will treat the person for whom s/he is, and not disrespect or favor someone unfairly.

Meeting Invites - Demystified

Meetings are a way of life!
Often people send me meeting invitations, and a surprising number of them look like this:

Subject: Meeting with Debbie Lundberg

Location: My Office

Seriously? If I accept this invitation, it goes on my calendar as: Meeting with Debbie Lundberg at My Office. That means absolutely nothing to me!
When sending an invitation, think of the recipient and not just yourself. Instead of the other person's name, please include both names, or the name of the company or group, and the actual location (with address, preferred if inviting people outside your company). The same invitation would read as:

Subject: Meeting: Steve Smith and Debbie Lundberg

Location: XYZ Company (123 W. South Street, Oakland, CA)

Additionally, including an agenda and notes on what is expected from each attendee, are terrific, too! By including minimally all involved, and the actual physical location, you will make a calendar invite that works, and is useful, on everyone's calendar!

WISER Meetings

When it is a meeting with a potential customer, client or a colleague, there are many ways to handle how it goes. 

Please consider hosting WISER meetings, meaning you cover the following:

W-Well...what's gone well recently

I-Improve...what would you like to improve

S-See...what do you see as the gap

E-Expectations...what do you expect of each other

R-Reality Check/Relevance/Resources...can things happen in time frame with what is available

By covering those five things, you will uncover interests, be able to address desires, and get to issues and opportunities, with options and solutions!

Sending Meeting Requests

Sending Meeting Requests

So many people use electronic calendars, and a fairly common request is "Please send me a calendar request, and I'll see you there". When you send that calendar request, resist thinking about YOUR calendar, and think about the invitee's calendar. 

For example, if you are Sam Smith, and you are sending the meeting request to Becky Jones, please do not schedule in your calendar "Becky Jones" as the subject and "My Office" as the location, and invite her. She will have her name and my office on her calendar, which means nothing to her! She will have to accept your invite, and then create another event for herself to "interpret" your invite. That's not thoughtful or considerate on your part, now is it?

Instead, if you are still Sam Smith, and you are sending the meeting request to Becky Jones, please do schedule in your calendar "Becky Jones and Sam Smith XYZ Meeting" as the subject and "123 S. Main Street" or minimally "Sam's Office" as the location, and invite her. She will now have everything on her calendar that is relevant, convenient and efficient for a productive meeting with you where you agreed to meet!

 

Since how you present IS how you are remembered, by presenting a meeting request thoughtfully, you are revered and remembered as that thoughtful professional you, Sam Smith, are!!

Meeting While Eating - Business Dining Simplified

"No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation." ~ Fran Lebowitz, American Writer and Humorist (b.1950)

There are times when you are anticipating, and even expected to dine while conducting business. The holiday season that is nearly upon us, often brings about more of that than we typically experience. I am no food snob, or even Emily Post, and yet, I get asked to share tips and thoughts on Dining Etiquette, which I call "Meeting While Eating" fairly often, and here are my top 10 points to ponder:

1) When leaving the table during dinner, you place your napkin on your chair seat or back, and not on the table...it's dirty, let's keep it off the table. And, when you have your napkin in your lap, keep it folded over with the fold toward you (no bibs or tissues for your napkin's use!).

2) All electronic devices stay off the table during dining. Bring them out only before or after eating (preferably after). Not even having the phone off and face down is okay...it tells people you are possibly interested in something other than them while you are together. Let that time with the other person be "enough".

3) When you are not sure what drink or break plate is yours at a set table, Think "b" and "d"...bread and drink. By putting your thumb and first finger together under the table, you can remind yourself of that to use as "yours". And, if someone takes yours, be kind, and discreetly ask the waiter or waitress for another plate or whatever it is, instead of calling someone out who doesn't know the Think "b" and "d"...bread and drink trick/reminder!

Also, if you use sweetener/sugar packets, the empty packets are to be slid under your plate slightly, and not wadded up on the table. The waitstaff will discretely dispose of those.

4) Keep purses, keys, sunglasses, bags and portfolios off the table while eating. All accessories on the table should be related to the restaurant and/or the meal, and not coming from you...put them in another chair or under yours...or better yet, leave them locked in your car trunk!

5) When at a cocktail party, keep your right hand free to shake hands. Carry your drink in your left hand, and resist carrying food when you're on the move. Stop and eat, dispose of the plate, and then socialize. And, at all types of line-served food, buffet or cocktail party, get a new plate each time you get food.

6) When passing bread, butter, dressing, etc., you offer to your left and pass to your right. And, while we are on passing - the salt and pepper are passed as one unit...even if someone asks only for the salt.

7) Even if you are clearly at a business lunch or dinner where a sale may take place, it is not okay to bring out papers and demo items/products during the meal portion of the meeting. That can be messy for the papers and items as well as the people, so wait until you have finished eating...after all who has ever signed a contract with their mouth full of food?

8) It matters what and how you order when at a group dinner or event! Watch the lead of the host. No doggy bags. Watch ordering appetizers, finger food, desserts, coffees and drinks, as you could be "that guy" or "that girl" who is the only one with 6 courses! Use "please" and "thank you" with wait staff, as they are doing their job, just as you may be doing something related to yours!

9) Chewing of anything other than food is inappropriate - no ice, gum or items will enhance a business meal meeting.

10) Remember, unless you have agreed ahead of time, s/he who invites, makes reservations, pays, and thanks someone for joining, so keep that awkwardness of the bill off the table, so to speak, by being clear ahead of time.

Meeting while eating is a way of life for most of us, and these tips will keep you enjoying yourself, your company, your meal, and your results!

3 Ps of Meetings

"Life it is not just a series of calculations and a sum total of statistics, it's about experience, it's about participation,it is something more complex and more interesting than what is obvious." ~ Daniel Libeskind, American Architect (b - 1946)

Since many of us have a lot of meetings on our calendars, and with time being one of our non-renewable resources, let's make the most of them! The 3 Ps of meeting success are that people are prepared, present and participatory...if you are not, for what reason are you in the meeting? Being prepared may be about a readiness to learn, being present is not allowing distractions for that short time, and being participatory may mean conflict, encouragement, questions and/or idea-sharing. Stick with the 3 Ps, and meetings will be most meaningful!

Maximize a Coaching or Mentoring Meeting

“A discovery is said to be an accident meeting a prepared mind.”~ Albert Szent-Gyorgyi, Hungarian Scientist (1893 – 1986)

Interestingly enough, too often, we meet with team members and colleagues for coaching or mentoring only when something is going wrong. Perhaps there is a reason or two for not meeting with them when things are going well…sure, people are focused, even “busy”, but for some, it is because they do not think about it, and if/when they do, they are not sure what to cover.

When meeting, even if it is one that is last minute or seemingly casual or just a quick question, you can follow the guide below for ensuring effective communication, and getting to the points desired to discuss:

1. Agree on the amount of time you have available together
2. Ask what are the 2-4 things you would like to discuss
3. Share the 2-4 things you would like to cover
4. Ask the mentee to prioritize the combined list you both just created
5. Start at the top and work your way through
6. End on time
7. Schedule a next meeting to address the other topics (if any remain)

This collaborative approach serves both the Coach/Mentor and the Coachee/Mentee in having a methodology, respecting time, and getting things accomplished.

So, go ahead, book that meeting or schedule some time for “mentoring” or “coaching”, and enjoy the productive experience!

Making the Most of Meeting In-Laws!

"I awoke this morning with devout thanksgiving for my friends, the old and the new." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Making the Most of Meeting In-Laws!

While I love my in-laws, and am very fortunate to have the mother-in-law and fathers-in-law, as well as the brothers-in-law and sisters-in-law I do have, some people are just about to meet their future in-laws or new in-laws for the first time. Whether you have met them before, or are starting "anew", consider these 10 steps to in-law enjoyment at the holidays:

1. Before you go, decide it is going to be a good time. Envision it, and expect good things!
2. Prior to heading out, ask your partner for any “hot topics” or “out of bounds issues” to avoid, and ask for family members’ interests and check them out before arriving.
3. Take a family gift like a board game.
4. Be more about being interested than being interesting, and ask questions for interest and not interrogation.
5. Find something, one thing minimally, that you like about each person as soon as you meet each of them.
6. Share a heart-felt compliment with any or each member of the family.
7. Instead of offering to “help”, offer to do something specific, so rather than stating “how may I help”, say “How about I set the table?”, so they see action, versus courtesy.
8. Thank them for hosting and send a thank you note in the mail within the week.
9. At all times, remember, these people produced your partner, so like/love them for that regardless…you would not have your partner without his or her family, so keep the perspective!
10. Smile, be true to you, sincere in your thoughts and actions, and make it a great time!