Demonstrating Character Vs. "Being a Character"

“Character is power; it makes friends, draws patronage and support and opens the way to wealth, honor and happiness.” - John Howe

If you want to demonstrate leadership with character, before you leave your office and/or your business each night, consider offering/asking these three things to each person with whom you work:


-Do you have the support you want?
-Is there anything I can do to assist you?
-I’m heading out…anything else before I leave?


These added inquiries may create more conversations and even take a bit more time than you anticipated, and yet you will show your character…instead of being the character who ducks out while others are working!!

Your Idea SPACE Approach

“An idea that is developed and put into action is more important than an idea that exists only as an idea.” ~ Buddha

You live in a world of ideas.

How are you at Sharing, Persuading, Asking, Collaborating and Executing such ideas?

Consider the Idea SPACE approach of:

•Share what the issue is or need at hand as well as what a win/success would be.
•Persuade others to interest with stories and examples.
•Ask if you missed anything to get clarification and on the same page.
•Collaborate together on a firm, sound work-able solution.
•Execute what was decided with tracking and accountability.

As an Entrepreneur, new leader, or established pro, if you make idea SPACE part of your process, effective communication and action will be part of your lasting impression, sales, recognition and results!

4 Questions

"Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning."

~ Albert Einstein

4 Questions



While I often share the idea of three - seven questions to ask in certain situations, yesterday, with three different colleagues/clients, the topic of ineffective work performance was broached. When I am asked what to do/say, my mind thinks what not to do/say, as often as leaders, we tell people what we want, when we want it, and think that is interactive somehow.


Instead, an effective and revealing approach is to ask four questions of the under-performer:

1. What is going well?

2. What would you like to improve?


You have seen these first two questions many times before, and they are timeless and true, so, here are the new ones:


3. What is getting/standing in the way of you getting where you want to be/do/have?

4. As your leader, what can I do to assist you, break down any barriers, guide you, etc.?


Leave it up to them to share and communicate after you facilitate open communication. For as a leader, your role is to meet your team members where they are, and lead them where they are willing and able to go. Those four questions will uncover (or reinforce) the willing and likely the able, parts for you!

Assert Yourself

" The basic difference between being assertive and being aggressive is how our words and behavior affect the rights and well being of others." ~ Sharon Anthony

Assert Yourself!

Can you be assertive without being considered wimpy or aggressive?
Of course…but how?

The difference between being assertive (standing up for yourself and/or others to get things accomplished professionally) and being overly aggressive is simply the difference of not badgering or insisting to the point of being rude. You can be assertive and consider others and/or the lasting impact of your actions without being antagonistic or labeled aggressive.

The difference between being assertive and being wimpy is often the difference in being direct and not being direct. Often people who do not stick with a thought or direction are perceived as wimpy.

Words, body language, positioning and tone all play a part in whether or not you are perceived as wimpy, assertive or aggressive. You can share ideas and be passionate while considering and hearing other without being seen as too wimpy (weak) or aggressive (forceful).

Let’s say you are in a restaurant or club ordering a meal, which is aggressive, and what is not?

A. I’ll have the blackened salmon with asparagus and a side salad with vinaigrette dressing, please.
B. I’ll take the salmon…how do you recommend it be cooked? Is the asparagus any good? Do you think a side salad will be too much with that? Will the vinaigrette be too tangy?
C. I'm having the salmon – make sure it’s blackened, and don't overcook it. And I'll have firm asparagus on the side, with a side salad with dressing on the side, if you can remember that.
D. Would you mind bringing me some salmon, please if it’s not too much trouble. Thank you and asparagus or something else with it will be fine.

A= Assertive, right?
B=Boy, oh boy, could you possibly remember the waiter/waitress does not know you, your likes, and dislikes, your capacity for food, etc.?
C=Caustic. Enough said, yet many handle things this way.
D=Dump all over me whenever you like…

You don’t have to go from wimpy to aggressive or vice versa. It's like when there is a hole in your driveway, and each time you drive through it, your car bottoms out a bit (the driveway integrity is wimpy), filling it with too much cement doesn’t solve the problem, it only changes it…it will still be a bumpy jolt on you and the car now, just in the opposite direction (like aggression). The true fix to the drive is an approach, a plan, a solution (assertive).

Sure steps to being assertive over wimpy or aggressive:
Think first, feel second.
Let things go.
Be inclusive. Solicit input in a way that is about “ask and incorporate”, vs. “ask and defend”.
Stay the course when decision is made.
Stop apologizing more than once.
Leave ego at the door.
Expect collaboration. Be prepared for competition.
Be consistent.
Share in the efforts and share in the wins.

Stop Wondering, Start Asking

"We look at each other wondering what the other is thinking but we never say a thing."

~ Ants Marching, Dave Matthews Band

Think back on your day and recall how many times you wondered - to yourself or aloud, and how many times others wondered (that you know of). Wonderment is fabulous and wondering is stifling. There is a difference. Wonderment is the astonishment or awe we feel, but wondering just keeps us in a perpetual state of not knowing. So, instead of wondering if your company is doing well, if your friends are happy, if you have saved enough, just ask. You may not like the answer, or heck, you may find wonderment in the information, but either way, you are on your way with information on which you can act, and not just a curiosity that leads to no other awareness!

Game/Event Tickets

A log time ago, I asked for tickets to an event at work and was thrilled to receive the entries for people who wanted to attend a highly anticipated sporting event.

I was equally surprised when I was told the tickets were $360. I was in my early 20's and $260 seemed like a lot...especially since I wanted free tickets!

And then I thought about it...I was in error in assuming about the tickets. I paid and I learned my lesson to ask before agreeing to a price and never had that situation arise again.

Flash forward to when I was in a Regional Management position and had access to some tickets. I began to dislike opening emails and answering the phone near big events because 1 in 4 people were looking for freebies! Who did I provide tickets for first? Customers, results drivers and then, after that, only people who asked if I knew of how to buy tickets or if they could purchase tickets. They were doing it the right way, and I appreciated that. Often they got free tickets for the sake of their offer to pay without presumption and the people who asked for complimentary tickets, even if their requests came in earlier, were not tops on my list.

I have talked to people in Sales and Marketing a lot about this, and we are all in agreement that there is great respect and subsequently, value in/for the person who is willing to pay and asks versus expects and offers versus take. So, the next time you are hoping for tickets, decide you are willing to pay before you ask, offer to pay and enjoy the game/event either way!

The Question Bug Gets the Answers

Remember to ask, ask, ask...in every situation! It is rare that someone regrets asking a question, yet often it is heard and thought that someone wishes s/he did ask something...even if it is/was just one more thing.

The old adage that there is no dumb question is true...with the exception that the truly dumb question is the one left unasked!

So, without apologies or hesitation, please proudly and firmly ask quick, direct, thoughtful questions. And then, enjoy and learn/grow from the answers!