Being Your Own Biggest Fan!

"Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy."

 ~ Norman Vincent Peale 

American Clergyman/Speaker.

(1898 - 1993)

Sure, it's great to get kudos, thanks, and accolades for work or words well-done, and yet relying on others' views and shared opinions of you can leave you feeling dependent, or worse yet, desperate, for that feedback.

How do we overcome that desire to get input and hear praise? While we may not ever not seek feedback, after all, it is good for us, we can share insights and good cheer from within in an effort to support and supplement, and dare to be the foundation, to good vibes, and therefore, good self-esteem. Being our own biggest fan can be done without conceit or vanity, rather for good health and well being by doing the following:

• Practicing GRATITUDE. By being thankful for what we have we are reminding ourselves of the good in our world/life.
• Taking a POWER STANCE each day. These were shared most widely in the Ted Talk by Amy Cuddy. Opening up to a Superman/Wonder Woman type stance for two minutes can empower our energy to be confident. https://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are?language=en
• Have a MANTRA. I have the mantra "I want, I will, I am", which has been shared in previous updates. Think "I want _____ (a desired outcome), and I will _____ (an action to take), because I am _______ (characteristic or attribute about self)." An example is "I want to be on time for meetings and clients today, so I will tend to my directions for the entire day while planning, because I am a conscientious collaborator and partner." A mantra sets you up to "be" based on your own abilities.
• Give yourself a PERSONAL PEP TALK. Something that says "You've got this!". Talk to yourself and use your name. Once I share to myself if "You've got this, Deb. You know what you are doing, prepared for success, and you're going to deliver what the audience wants and deserves. Enjoy it!"
• Develop a CEO of MEO mission statement, meaning be the Chief Empowerment Officer of My Every Opportunity. My current CEO of MEO is: "I am a lean, pristine, high-performing human being bringing positivity to people, situations and choices in order to be present and live life fully"! This form of I AM statement commands attention from the strengths you have toward the now and the future.
• Write your future state in a paragraph as though it is an article about you now. Use third person to take a view from afar while getting into up-close details.
• Meditate and let go of stress that is not serving you well.
• Shift from poor-serving habits with well-serving habits. Simply giving things up can seem like punishment, so exchange those habits with something positive and see how the pivot makes the change a direction and not detrimental.
• Replace "Have to, Need to, Should, Ought to" with "I want, I will, I am, I am in the process of" to focus on what you are processing for progress rather than what you are doing our of obligation.
• Write a compliment on your bathroom mirror to yourself each morning first thing so that you'll see it all day long and appreciate you being you!

Some things may seem small, and they are. Some things may seem simple, and they are. Some things may seem silly, and they are NOT! Investing in your belief, reflection, support and confidence is anything other than silly, and everything around smart!

Please Root FOR, and Not Against

When we root-root-root for the home team, we're rooting for our home as much as the team. ~ Richard Roeper, American Columnist

Whether it is a baseball game, a work meeting, a debate, a beauty pageant, an election or the upcoming Olympics, when you are cheering for someone, please ensure you aren't jeering another.

What I mean by that is support for one person, team, idea or country need not be the bashing of the opposition. Rooting for something you like, believe in, or hope will succeed is just that "rooting". In the unofficial definition of rooting (read as "my definition") rooting is 'pulling for, showing support in a positive, encouraging, professional manner'.

Your rooting may mean a vote, applause, "who hoo"s when the person, team or candidate is presented, and it also may simply mean silence to hear what is said, or an open mind and non-distracted eyes to see what is done. It may mean wearing the colors of the team, or a button of the contender, or sharing verbal and non-verbal agreement with a concept or proposal. It need not be the trashing of people, ideas, parties, etc. just to get noticed, get the crown going, or to get inside the head of whomever you are not rooting for.

There are many ways to root, to support someone or something, and all of them can be done without any negativity, attack or ill-will toward those not receiving your outright support. Please consider respecting an opponent is as much rooting for your idea, player, participant, candidate or country, as all of the other actions you can take. And, yes, hopefully all that "rooting for" leads you to your ultimate victory, I do not want to overlook or negate that. Still, by practicing the root, root, root, as in the quotation above, you really can be a rooter filled with cheers and not jeers, and no matter the final outcome of the discussion, meeting, event or competition, you will not have presented anything but support and can hold your head high for how you handled the opportunity.

Demonstrating Character Vs. "Being a Character"

“Character is power; it makes friends, draws patronage and support and opens the way to wealth, honor and happiness.” - John Howe

If you want to demonstrate leadership with character, before you leave your office and/or your business each night, consider offering/asking these three things to each person with whom you work:


-Do you have the support you want?
-Is there anything I can do to assist you?
-I’m heading out…anything else before I leave?


These added inquiries may create more conversations and even take a bit more time than you anticipated, and yet you will show your character…instead of being the character who ducks out while others are working!!

4 Words

"When words are scarce they are seldom spent in vain." ~ William Shakespeare

There are a lot of words spoken, and sadly, not as much actually said. We celebrate first, second and third places in many events, but not fourth. Often there are times we feel as though we "don't know what to say". Our parents may have raised us to be seen and not heard.

Having shared those 4 thoughts, it may seem strange to encourage you to offer 4 words to someone for whom you want to instill confidence. Sure, sure, those "three little words" are welcomed, too, and are not being discouraged. It's just this approach to uplifting another is a for a varied purpose.

Imagine the difference you might make if instead of silence when you felt awkward or unsure, or asking "what can I do?", you looked the person in the eye and uttered (sincerely, of course) "I believe in you", or "I'm here for you", or "I'm on your side", or "I've got your back", or "I care about you".

What would be different? For the receiver of your message, you might be the only person who shared such a sentiment that day, week, month, etc. Also, your belief, presence, support and care could be what pushes the person to go ahead an act on what she or he is "thinking about doing". For you as the sender of the message, it would be different for you to loan a little of yourself without it costing you anything. You'd get to be a part of consoling, uplifting, encouraging or praising another person...and that's worth being said, being celebrated, being shared, and being heard!