A Lesson from Kindness Encounters!

While I am happy to be a part of many groups and organizations, it is interesting to see what people will promote or devote time to online.

One of the communities I am in focuses on KINDNESS. Oh, that is right up my alley, so it was exciting to get invited to be connected there!

With everything happening in the world, where it seems like some people are more concerned with hoarding than being considerate, it seemed this group would be a super reprieve for these "odd days".

I shared in that private group that my new hashtag is #KindnessNeedNotBeQuarantined and posted the hashtag there with a story about a trip to Costco and being nice to one another.

Someone took a shot at that by posting that I was taking jobs from workers by moving the carts out of the way in the parking lot. I thought, like I typically do, that she had the right to her view, and opted not to reply. It made me sad, though, as this person who was approved and/or invited in, was so quick to attack, and so fast to abandon kindness.

What I learned there was that some people believe kindness or being nice or considerate is ONLY the way they define it. Sadly, they are being judgmental, and in effect, not at kind in their ways.

So, please, let's be kind, even if that means not agreeing or not responding. After all, kindness and judgment are not adjacent, they are opposing mindsets...and kindness guides growth where judgment simply limits!

SHARE Your Brainstorming

If you want to get ideas out on the table, and you want other people's input, too, brainstorming is an excellent approach to collaboration and advancement.

Still, we often have brainstorming sessions that stifle people, have biases, and end as simply a formality to getting someone's idea in place.

SHARE your brainstorming successfully by doing the following 5 things:

S - Set the stage for the expected
 outcomes and set the stage with a clear problem statement to solution
H - Have rules of engagement that level sett the room and letting everyone know his and her ideas count, and how NO is not part of the conversations, and that personal attacks are in the past along with courtesy and openness being part of the present..."
A - Ask for input and record all of them without discussion
R - Revisit each idea after all are recorded in order to keep, alter, or dismiss for that problem
E - End the session by selecting and agreeing to moving forward with a plan and thanking the participants

Using the SHARE approach to brainstorming becomes an approach to solutioning situations with collaboration and buy-in!

The Habit of Forming Well-Serving Habits!

At the risk of sounding a bit harsh, keep in mind that people, individuals, each of us, at the core, in many ways, are simply a series of habits. Some habits are well-serving and others are not.

Sometimes we say "I'm not a morning person" or "I'm not good at technology" or "I've got my Dad's slow metabolism" and allow that to be our soundtrack to life...in effect, that becomes a habit, and then a belief.

To make well-serving habits, shift your thinking, words, and actions. Follow a pattern, even if it is challenging and outside of your comfort zone, for 28 days in a row. (Start over if you skip a day - there is no "catch up" with habits.) Allow those 28 days in a row to be the start of a new, well-serving habit for positive results!

By the Numbers: Forwarding Goals

"I'm looking forward to the future, and feeling grateful for the past."

~ Mike Rowe

American actor.

(b. 1962)

Goals are often set at this time of the year, and as long as they are for advancing realistic plans, purposes, and growth, goals are worthwhile and rewarding.

There are many ways to enhance goal achievement. Three insights to consider include the following "by the numbers":

Speaker Jim Rohn famously said "You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with." Considering that, to achieve your goals, surround yourself with 5 people who are your personal board of directors, including a cheerleader (believes in you no matter what), a confidant (listens and does not share), a critic (shares ways to improve without concern) advisor (shares advice to assist you), and someone who you aspire to be like (aspiration can serve as inspiration).

20 minutes maters. Whether it is about outlook or mood, how you spend 20-minutes makes a difference. Start your day with 20 minutes of positivity and action that will lead you to positive results. If you feel like you don't want to do something, commit to 20 minutes of effort with the attitude that you will get something done, and you will shift your mood and energy by the time that 20 minutes is complete. Likely you will continue to move ahead as a result.

28 days creates a habit. Some say it's 21 days, and yet I believe it's 28 (perhaps the last 7 are for good measure). Doing something repeatedly for 28 consecutive days (note that is not 3 days on and 2 off with 17 on, four off, and then 8 days, rather it is day after day for 28 sleeps in a row )means you have the best opportunity to continue with commitment . Goals are accomplished through positive, well-serving habits, so get good habits, and get to your goals!

Incorporating these three insights by the numbers will assist you, and empower you to not only set goals, they will, with diligence, empower you to attain goals!

January 2018 Lundberg's Life Tip

Similarities with Differences

When you meet someone who reminds you of someone else, someone you don't like, push yourself to find something about that person that you like, admire and/or respect. 

When you meet someone who reminds you of someone else, someone you really like, push yourself to find something about that person that is different, something you like, admire and/or respect about him or her separate from the other person in your life.

By putting yourself in a position to see the person differently, you will treat the person for whom s/he is, and not disrespect or favor someone unfairly.

Avoiding Airplane & Airport Angst!

Since many of us fly commercially, and the glamour of travel is less than it used to be, let's keep some style, consideration and humane-ness to taking flight with the following tips: for avoiding airplane/airport angst:
~If you get on an airplane with a bag, be able to put it away, yourself versus thinking the rules of efficiency for boarding and deplaning don't apply to you.
~If you get on an airplane, be wearing clothes (as opposed to pajamas).
~If you get on an airplane with a cold, get on with tissues and hand sanitizer (and use them instead of sniffing and snorting).
~If you get on a plane with an infant, get on that plane with a pacifier or some sort to assist them/their ears with when the plane is ascending and descending.
~If you get on a plane with food, skip the onions-especially the raw, lingering ones.
~If you are waiting for your airplane, and you make a phone call, make it on earbuds or the old-fashioned holding-the-phone-to-your-ear way, instead of on Facetime or speakerphone.
~If you are going to get on an airplane, and you are on the phone, disconnect before engaging with the gate agent.
If you get on an airplane with a device with sounds, get on with earbuds or a headset (and use it).

In other words, if you get on an airplane with others, remember there are those other people on that plane...and their journey matters, too!

Sharing Sympathy & Condolences

People lose jobs, pets, relative and more. Sympathy is compassionate. Sympathy is natural. Condolences can be awkward and uncomfortable. Over the years, many people have expressed to me that while they want to offer condolences, they are not sure how to act, or what to say. Sympathy and condolences are not wrong. They come from the right place. There is no time limit on when to express sorrow. A way to sincerely and thoughtful approach is to:

• Resist asking "How are you?"
• Watch the sympathy look of pity or discomfort
• Send a card that you write a note about the loss, if you know the situation or person personally, and if you do not, and do not start with "I" in order to ensure it is about the other person/people
• Call, text and/or tell the person know you are available (and be available), and don't push for conversation or time, answers or explanations
• Know it is okay to say something like "While words escape me, please know you are on my mind and in my heart", as it's okay to not know what to say
• Resist sharing your stories of similar, or seemingly similar stories, unless the other person wants to hear them
• Don't say "I understand", as their situation is different
• Do something for the person without asking "What can I do?"

Be sympathetic and offer condolences. Be there, and not too intrusive. Be available, and not disappointed if there is no response. Be compassionate without being overly communicative. Check in, make a difference, and then treat the person or people with respect and interest.