The Two-Way Joy of Giving & Getting that is Gratitude

"Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it." ~ William Arthur Ward

 Having gratitude feeds the soul, and receiving gratitude fills our hearts!

Giving and getting gratitude tend to be both in abundance and in absence this time of year (and perhaps throughout the year).

How can it be both?

It seems we tend to give, shower, and praise those around us, those who are closest in relation and proximity, and yet so many people are a part of this holiday/year-end time - from servers from the holiday events to the clerks and owners at the shops. Sure, tips are super for their gift-buying funds, so do tip, and tip well when service is outstanding! Additionally, the gratitude of a sincere "Thank you" with a smile and eye contact can go a long way in letting them know they made an impact. We live in a highly connected, tremendously lonely world where each of us can be the person who puts down the phone that distracts us and lights up our face with appreciation.

So, have you written a note on a card, sent a thank you note for someone simply being themselves, and/or if you happened to notice a person carrying out a kind act? That note will cost you less than a dollar to send, and yet the getting back dividends from sharing your gratitude and knowing someone will feel appreciated, will be priceless.

Please keep in mind, too, that when someone thanks you that your role is then to accept it. Being appreciated is not underrated. Knowing, feeling, and enjoying how you can positively impact another human's day, experience, or life, means your value continues to be reinforced.

When we discount gratitude with a "Oh, that was nothing" or a "No problem", believe it or not, we are not allowing that person's compliment and/or appreciation to get to live, AND, sadly, we are discounting our efforts with a quick blowoff. 

It's November, and it's nearly Thanksgiving, so thank you for this opportunity to share about appreciation and thanks as we all enjoy the lift of both giving and getting gratitude!

#ActiveLove #BeYourBest #Kind 

#Leadership #PersonalDevelopment #ProfessionalDevelopment

'TIS the Season for Toasts

Effectively, energetically giving a toast, raising a glass, honoring a holiday or person, is both an art and a science!

How so?

While most people say comments such as "Here's to Steve!", or "Cheers to a good night!", and those are alright to get through a step in recognizing a person or a time, those experiences are neither memorable nor thoughtful.

Toasting can seem rushed or even forced if there is no planning, and yet you want toasts to be from the heart. To bring timing and a plan together, think of 'tis the season (at all moments or days of the year) when you want to raise a glass and hear that "clink" of cheer.

Similar to how you can introduce a person with TIS (Topic, Importance to the Audience, and then Speaker credentials before that person's name), a fun, memorable toast has those three parts. Before a toast, ensure people all have had a chance to get water, soda, wine, or whatever they are drinking, and share your TIS with this twist:

T - Thanks/Today/This - Start your toast not by rattling a fork or spoon on a glass or yelling "Okay everyone" or "If I can get your attention", as those approaches can be jarring and even startling. An example that is compelling is to say something like "Thanks for joining us today", or "Today is a very special day for many reasons". The T in the TIS gets people attention in a positive way, and gives a reference for what is happening as it foreshadows where you are going!

I - Importance/Insights - Move from the T's connection aspect to the toast to the importance and insights about what or who you are raising your glass to celebrate. Without saying things such as "Everyone knows" and "Obviously", you can happily share some points about the individual or holiday such as "It's heartwarming to see how many people have been touched by one person here tonight".

S - Share who/what, specifically - Wrap up the toast with a clear statement of who/what is being honored. Yes, it is okay to say "So, let's smile and raise a glass to our host, Raji Patel", and another approach is to elaborate with adjectives or another context

An example for a virtual Thanksgiving toast is:

Thank you for joining us! Today is a special day for giving thanks.

Thanksgiving is traditionally about food, gathering, and sharing. While we have been eating good grub in our separate locations, and we are gathered differently this year, we are getting to share by staying connected.

So, with much appreciation for each of you, and gratitude for sharing this moment. Here's to each of you feeling loved and appreciated today and throughout the rest of the year! Happy Thanksgiving!

You may have noticed the lack of the word "I", and the focus on brevity and positivity, and those efforts are intentional for making everyone feel included and keeping to mood up! No matter with whom or how often you toast, make the 'tis the season lift come from your TIS approach!

Embracing Thanksgiving All Year Long

"I am grateful for what I am and have. My thanksgiving is perpetual. " 

~  Henry David Thoreau

American essayist, poet, philosopher, abolitionist, naturalist, tax resister, development critic, surveyor, and historian. 

(1817 - 1862)

Thanksgiving is a day.
Thanksgiving is an attitude.
Thanksgiving is an approach to life.

While we may be celebrating this month, and many eating, drinking, and sharing in thankfulness outwardly and openly this Thursday, there is no need to keep that attitude of gratitude silent for the rest of the year. Thanksgiving is a way to live life, and keeping it going depends on thoughts, words and actions.

To be thankful also means not being hateful. Thinking about how to assist others, and how to encourage, support, and even wish well, whether you are included in that celebration formally or not, is a form of thanksgiving. This includes thinking ahead to how you impact others, and being mindful of what to do, and not do in order to get your intent (thankfulness) aligned with your results (gratitude).

Verbalizing your appreciation is a form of thanksgiving. Sharing ideas with others in a way that is inclusive, pleasant, and even humble shows thanksgiving. Offering what others do well, bragging about them on their behalf, and hoping, wishing and wanting what is good for them, are all ways to be thankful.

Doing things for others without their asking, taking an extra step, and even doing those things without others even knowing, allow for thanksgiving...all days of the year. Remembering that when you are thankful in life, you are not doing favors, rather you are doing what's right for your thanksgiving. Your actions are without motive other than to express thanks, and your actions flow freely with a loving heart.

By thinking thank you, saying "thank you", and meaning thank you will move you from Thanksgiving Day to a thanksgiving way (of life)...and those simple thoughts, words and actions, will surely lead to more!

Thanksgiving: Over or Ongoing?

“The unthankful heart discovers no mercies; but the thankful heart will find, in every hour, some heavenly blessings.” ~ Henry Ward Beecher,Social Reformist & Speaker (1813 - 1887)

While the leftovers may be nearly gone, and you might still be "working off" the day of food and indulgences, Thanksgiving need not be "over"!

Sure, the 4th Thursday of November is behind us, and the calendar is about to be turned to another month soon, and yet there is every opportunity to turn the past into the present by keeping the feeling, the attitude and the actions of being one of "thanksgiving" alive and engaged!

I don't mean bake, fry or slow roast a turkey each day, nor am I suggesting you need family and/or friends around to give thanks. Absolutely, it is a terrific day of coming together, sharing, appreciating (and even eating and watching football), and I, like many of you, enjoy the festivities and traditions, too. Still, at the heart of the holiday is the idea of gratitude for what we have and hope for what we will create. There is a respect and calm (and that is not just the tryptophan) that comes around that one day....and it need not end with the Black Friday sales.

Instead, consider embracing each little luxury like freedom, friends, family, similarities, differences, opportunities, challenges, life, love, growth and learning each and every day...in your own way. You may opt to volunteer, write a note, share a compliment, hold a door, let someone in on the road, openly state your gratitude, or quietly appreciate someone or something. Whatever you choose to do, add a little courtesy, take a second or two, and make that conscious, appreciative point of not letting the feeling of Thanksgiving be over...rather...keep it ongoing!

Attitude of Appreciation

"I would rather be able to appreciate things I cannot have than to have things I am not able to appreciate."

~ Elbert Hubbard, American editor, publisher and writer, 1856-1915

Many of us use 'thankful' and 'grateful' interchangeably, and they are different by most definitions, and yet similar in some ways. Thankfulness is about a sense or feeling to be pleased or relieved over something that happened. Gratefulness is about showing appreciation for something someone has done for you.

So as not to get caught up in semantics, let's instead approach each day, each person with an attitude of appreciation. Appreciation, after all is the combination of being thankful and expressing gratitude.

After all, our attitude is the only thing we can fully control.

There is an ease to being appreciative when things go the way we want them to go. The real challenge and true opportunity is when we can stretch to be appreciative of what does not go the way we anticipated. Remember to allow the feeling, and express it outwardly in order to engage in the full act of appreciation.

Sound nutty? It is in that filling way nuts can offer flavor and give you some nourishment. The ability to see through a situation and get the learning, is something that nourishes the soul and feeds our growth. Being appreciative in the midst of adversity or disagreement or challenge is being thankful it is not worse, and grateful for what comes out of it for you...regardless of what others attempt to influence or change.

As we finish our leftovers and start on the holiday shopping and sharing, please include appreciation on your daily list of activities!

Giving Thanks Verbally!

At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us. ~ Albert Schweitzer

It's not that we are not grateful, it's not that we are unappreciative...sometimes it is just challenging to express our gratitude and appreciation. Not this year at Thanksgiving!

You may have seen in my newsletter an example of a way to share verbal appreciation by using the following approach:

(Name), you are very _________ (strength), and that is appreciated because it makes a difference in _________. Thank you!

And, here are some others:

"Thank you, _________(name) for your efforts with ___________________ (task)! You really showed your _________________ (strength), and I appreciate you for that!

OR

Thank you, _________(name) for being so _________________ (strength)! I appreciate it because you _______________________ (difference the person makes)!

Additionally, a toast to one or many people really makes an impression and can show gratitude. An example is:

Thanksgiving is a time for food, people and holiday cheer, so here's to the wonderful dishes we all have prepared, the friends and family who chose to join us, and all the fun conversations and memories we are about to share! I thank you for being here! (Raising glass) Happy Thanksgiving!

Whatever way you show your appreciation, a smile and sincerity are your best assets, and real gratitude cannot be delivered incorrectly, so go ahead, give, give, give!!!

Happy Thanksgiving!