The Two-Way Joy of Giving & Getting that is Gratitude

"Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it." ~ William Arthur Ward

 Having gratitude feeds the soul, and receiving gratitude fills our hearts!

Giving and getting gratitude tend to be both in abundance and in absence this time of year (and perhaps throughout the year).

How can it be both?

It seems we tend to give, shower, and praise those around us, those who are closest in relation and proximity, and yet so many people are a part of this holiday/year-end time - from servers from the holiday events to the clerks and owners at the shops. Sure, tips are super for their gift-buying funds, so do tip, and tip well when service is outstanding! Additionally, the gratitude of a sincere "Thank you" with a smile and eye contact can go a long way in letting them know they made an impact. We live in a highly connected, tremendously lonely world where each of us can be the person who puts down the phone that distracts us and lights up our face with appreciation.

So, have you written a note on a card, sent a thank you note for someone simply being themselves, and/or if you happened to notice a person carrying out a kind act? That note will cost you less than a dollar to send, and yet the getting back dividends from sharing your gratitude and knowing someone will feel appreciated, will be priceless.

Please keep in mind, too, that when someone thanks you that your role is then to accept it. Being appreciated is not underrated. Knowing, feeling, and enjoying how you can positively impact another human's day, experience, or life, means your value continues to be reinforced.

When we discount gratitude with a "Oh, that was nothing" or a "No problem", believe it or not, we are not allowing that person's compliment and/or appreciation to get to live, AND, sadly, we are discounting our efforts with a quick blowoff. 

It's November, and it's nearly Thanksgiving, so thank you for this opportunity to share about appreciation and thanks as we all enjoy the lift of both giving and getting gratitude!

#ActiveLove #BeYourBest #Kind 

#Leadership #PersonalDevelopment #ProfessionalDevelopment

Advancing the Olympic Flame...

 Gratitude Reflection and Story

Getting the honor of running with the Olympic Torch...a story of challenge, resilience, and gratitude!

Every Olympic torch relay has a theme. The 2024 Paris Olympics has a theme of solidarity and diversity.

The 2002 Olympics theme was Inspiration.

The Olympic Torch relay takes place before, and leading up to the opening ceremony to ignite the theme throughout the world ahead of the formal Olympics. The flame symbolizes the Olympic ideals of peace, friendship, and mutual understanding, and its journey around the world serves to unite nations and set the stage for the competition.

My dear friend, and workmate, Patty Lukes, one of the other early females in the field to call on GM dealerships, kindly nominated me to be considered for the huge honor in 2000. She wrote about how, in 1996, I was working in Madison, Wisconsin calling on over 45 dealers in the state while also teaching a 12-week Dale Carnegie course on Monday nights as I was earning my MBA. At that time, when I was making one of my regular skydivers (that was a big part of my life then) on the first Sunday in between the preview session where people could learn more about the experience of Dale Carnegie Training, and the first class for my evening commitment that I thought my right ankle was sprained. The next morning following my stepping in a hole while walking in from a safe landing, I went to the doctor after icing it on and off all night only to learn I had both tibia and fibula fractures - two broken bones in my lower leg. That meant no more skydiving for a bit, and no driving, either. It meant a cast, then a boot, a wheelchair, then crutches...for what turned out to be over 12 weeks!

While GM leadership kindly offered for me to go on sick leave, I said "No thanks, I am not sick". Still, I couldn't drive, lived in a three-story townhome, and way before Uber and Lyft, decided to ask my dealers if their delivery drivers could work with me (and taxis) to get from each location to the next. They graciously did! Then, for school, I had a classmate who drove a motorcycle, so I figured it couldn't get worse on my leg, and so onto the motorcycle I went (don't even ask about my hair), and then a wonderful Graduate Assistant/Teaching Assistant, Marin, sweetly offered to drive me to/from the Monday night classes after work. Logistics were sorted out...or so I thought.

On that first official night of class, session 1 of 12, I showed up in a wheelchair, and class went well. Everyone was incredibly supportive, and it took nothing away from the facilitation, so it took nothing away from the most important part - the class members' experience.

Marin and I drove home on a high from the success of the first session, and when she was getting me into the garage to start bumping my way up the (many) stairs, we were greeted with water, about three feet of it in my garage. Yikes! Even though it did not seem like anything else could go wrong, it was then we learned from a neighbor that the water was from the sewer, not from rainfall. Thankfully, Marin, at nearly 11:00 PM,, bailed water and we worked with bleach to be as sanitary as possible.

You can imagine how glad I was to have asked Dennis, the District Manager in Milwaukee, to come and get my company vehicle so that the temptation to drive it would be removed! That foreshadowed the garage being empty and a company car not getting flooded (AKA ruined) by the water!

While I shed some tears throughout the 12 weeks that kept my leg in atrophy, overall, I decided there were lessons to learn. Learning to ask for assistance, learning to appreciate what I could do, learning the challenges some people have their whole life, and learning to be grateful for the few friends I'd made, and how they came through for me, were all focuses for getting through the experience with growth over the groans each time I'd go to get my cast off, only to be told one or two more weeks...all the way until the day it was finally healed enough from my freedom!

Free from the cast/boot, I was full of gratitude and appreciation, humility and thanks for the unexpected lessons learned and especially for the people, some strangers who held a door, and some acquaintances who became lifelong friends, who cared.

The final day of that Monday night 12-week class, I was able to walk on my own (slowly, with a very weak leg, yet on my own!)! It was as though lottery winnings had been deposited in my account. I was rich - rich in health and hope!

Patty apparently captured all of that plus a bit more about our friendship that started rocky when I was an intern at General Motors and she approved my expense reports (that is a story in and of itself!!).

While Wikipedia states the torch relayers are randomly selected from nominations, the letter I received stated I was specifically selected and bestowed with the honor of Nike sending shoes, Kodak taking photos, and a commitment to training with a 3.5-pound verticle torch in my hand (practice at the gym during the Winter included running on a treadmill with a water bottle above my head).

Still, on January 5, 2002, at the location to take the bus to be dropped at our torch relay spots, there were two Olympic Torch Relay representatives on that magical, energized bus, and they asked each person to go around and introduce ourselves and state the reason we were selected to represent in the relay. Long before the turn was mine, I felt fraudulent and like I was not worthy, for there were people who survived cancer, a man running in his wife's spot because her cancer came back, a young man born without fully formed hips, and others who truly deserved to be there. With tears in my eyes, a quiver in my voice, and embarrassment in my soul, I eeked out "Debbie Gross, and really, I don't think I belong here." so quickly did this Olympic Torch Relay representative, who may have been 24 years old share with me aloud with everyone looking on and listening that the theme that year was INSPIRATION, and that they selected a few people across the country who simply lived their life inspirational each day, and that I was one of those people.

I cried a little harder.

Then I smiled, with a full heart and felt that seat really was mine to appreciate. Then I got to run double the distance of the legs of the torch run to advance the Olympic flame to Jazz Great Ramsey Lewis of the Ramsey Lewis Trio. What an honor. Until Mr. Lewis' death, we stayed connected, and he graciously met with Michael and me when in Clearwater to relive our Torch Relay days. What a legend!!

That thoughtful woman on the bus connected my head and heart to that message. The honor replaced the unsure feeling, and the joy of the opportunity moved me to run my heart out! She also reminded me to speak up, speak out, and not doubt being where I was. Those messages, and lessons live on within me to get to share with others today!

What an experience, and what a memory for which I continue to be thankful as I cheer "Go Team USA!!" all Olympics, each Olympics!

#BeYourBest #Kind #Consideration #GoUSA #GoTeamUSA #Leadership #PersonalDevelopment #ProfessionalDevelopment

THIS MONTH'S Lessons Learned: Appreciative of Another Year on Earth, and Ways to Keep Learning!

Today is a happy birthday, and I am thrilled! Thanks for being a part of this year!

If there were themes for the past 12 months, they'd be Miles & Smiles, Impact & Energy, AND, Declutter & Appreciation.

By covering a lot of miles running, in a car, and on a plane, personally and professionally, certainly, there were many fond memories and a lot of smiles - some of them through some pain and feeling disappointed as well as while really having fun!

LESSON LEARNED: Smile through challenges in order to live and learn, and to get to the parts of life that really matter - making lasting memories with people you care about!

Considering impact and energy, one of my focuses was to very intentionally assess where my energy was being expended, and how/what the impact was.

LESSON LEARNED: It is key to ensure a good return on investment where energy is shared - for others and yourself, so move on when the ROI isn't there and double down when it is!

When I made time for decluttering things physically, that lead to further appreciating space and effort alike, so new donations were made, new groups were joined, existing boards were resigned from or I rolled off them while clear choices were made to spend time and give talent where it would be valued, respected, and appreciated.

LESSON LEARNED: Free yourself of clutter, any clutter in space in your home, business, and especially in your head, as that freeing feeling will allow for a sense of centering...and clear direction for progress!

Thanks for the memories, and cheers to many more as I go into being 54 with a genuine smile on my face, with intent and energy directed toward kindness & growth, and a clear mind and clean office & home - ready to embrace whatever is ahead with gusto and gratitude!

#Birthday #Thanks #LessonsLearned #Gratitude #Kind #kindness #Kindnessmatters #1KindAct #KindnessNeedNotBeQuarantined #Perspective #LifeLongLearner #AgingGracefullyIsEmpowering

Expressing Appreciation in a Note

"Thanks" is nice, and "Thank you" is great, too. Still, saying words of gratitude are not the same as sending words of gratitude.

Yes, say your thanks at the time of your experience, post gratitude (and even a photo) on social media, too. And then, consider sending a hand-written note to the person or people who have impacted you with a gift, a kind word, including you at an event, or even simply the way s/he has presented him or herself at a meeting or talk.

To make the best impression in the note, please:

Start with a greeting and the person's name (we don't use names very often any more)
Skip starting the first sentence with I (makes it about you and not the recipient)
Offer something special you gained from him/her
Close with an uplifting message
Sign it following a sign-off, such as "With gratitude" or something else
It's not ever to late to show appreciation, and while someone receiving the note two days to one week following your exchange is recommended, dig out those nice notecards and get moving! Here's an example:

Hello Joe!
What a spectacular evening it was Friday! Thank you for including me at your table of so many wonderful leaders.
It will be pleasure to follow up with each of them to share how much we each appreciate you.
With gratitude, make it a productive and enjoyable week!
Fondly,Debbie

Giving Thanks All Year

"Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our Thanksgiving."

~ Betsey Farrell

American Actress

With the turkey (and leftovers) fully enjoyed, and the pumpkins and fall decor put away, Thanksgiving 2017 is "in the books", so to speak. Or, is it?

Sure, the day has gone by, and hopefully there was plenty of thanks, and a lot of love-giving involved that recent Thursday, and yet the spirit of, and the actions associated with Thanksgiving, do not have to be a memory or simply a day of the year that falls between Halloween and Christmas or Hannukah. How so?

Remember the excitement (not the stress) you had thinking about the holiday. Thanksgiving is a combination of appreciation and sharing. These things are not reserved for days of overeating and football. Instead, these are attitudes, actions and feeling for practicing all year long! When challenged, or seeking inspiration, or both, please think THANKS:

T - Tell someone how much you love them each day
H - Help someone without telling them you're "helping"
A - Appreciate little things in life (big things, too!)
N - Name someone good & kind & tell others about him/her
K - Kindle the flame of kindness by spreading and sharing it
S - Smile & give your pearly no-cost gift to friends/strangers

These simple ways of living life include keeping the spirit of Thanksgiving alive and all year long. You can gobble up all thanks, and all the giving every day, and include the leftovers to share with all you meet!

Embracing Thanksgiving All Year Long

"I am grateful for what I am and have. My thanksgiving is perpetual. " 

~  Henry David Thoreau

American essayist, poet, philosopher, abolitionist, naturalist, tax resister, development critic, surveyor, and historian. 

(1817 - 1862)

Thanksgiving is a day.
Thanksgiving is an attitude.
Thanksgiving is an approach to life.

While we may be celebrating this month, and many eating, drinking, and sharing in thankfulness outwardly and openly this Thursday, there is no need to keep that attitude of gratitude silent for the rest of the year. Thanksgiving is a way to live life, and keeping it going depends on thoughts, words and actions.

To be thankful also means not being hateful. Thinking about how to assist others, and how to encourage, support, and even wish well, whether you are included in that celebration formally or not, is a form of thanksgiving. This includes thinking ahead to how you impact others, and being mindful of what to do, and not do in order to get your intent (thankfulness) aligned with your results (gratitude).

Verbalizing your appreciation is a form of thanksgiving. Sharing ideas with others in a way that is inclusive, pleasant, and even humble shows thanksgiving. Offering what others do well, bragging about them on their behalf, and hoping, wishing and wanting what is good for them, are all ways to be thankful.

Doing things for others without their asking, taking an extra step, and even doing those things without others even knowing, allow for thanksgiving...all days of the year. Remembering that when you are thankful in life, you are not doing favors, rather you are doing what's right for your thanksgiving. Your actions are without motive other than to express thanks, and your actions flow freely with a loving heart.

By thinking thank you, saying "thank you", and meaning thank you will move you from Thanksgiving Day to a thanksgiving way (of life)...and those simple thoughts, words and actions, will surely lead to more!

The ART of the Thank You!

"God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say 'thank you?'"

~William Arthur Ward

With presents, invitations, hostess gifts, and more having been shared at this time, resist letting the fullness of your schedule override the fullness of gratitude you have...and can share!

A thank you note goes a long way in showing appreciation. While there is no wrong thank you, there is an ART to expressing gratitude in writing that connects and shares your happiness well, and that includes:

A - Address the person and the experience (no "I" as first word) 
R - Relive what make it special in words
T - Thank that person clearly before closing the note

An example is:
Dear Steve~

You were so thoughtful to include Michael and me in your suite yesterday! How kind you were to connect all of us as we enjoyed The Lightning beating The Rangers!

Thank you!

It was especially fun to get to share in the toast you made that highlighted the direction of your company's future.

Thanks again for your generosity, and I'll look forward to seeing you in 2016!

All the best,
Debbie

Tampa Bay Business Journal Recognition Appreciation!

Your votes counted!

It's an honor to be on the Top 10 list the 5th year in a row, shown here in the Top 5, 

for the Best in the Biz Reader's Choice Awards for 

Favorite Business-Oriented Speaker!

Thank you!

 

Congratulations to Tampa Mayor, Bob Buckhorn, Former Tampa Mayor, Pam Iorio, and Tampa Business and Community Superstars, Jeff Vinik and Richard Gonzmart! 

It is an honor to be listed among you!

Attitude of Appreciation

"I would rather be able to appreciate things I cannot have than to have things I am not able to appreciate."

~ Elbert Hubbard, American editor, publisher and writer, 1856-1915

Many of us use 'thankful' and 'grateful' interchangeably, and they are different by most definitions, and yet similar in some ways. Thankfulness is about a sense or feeling to be pleased or relieved over something that happened. Gratefulness is about showing appreciation for something someone has done for you.

So as not to get caught up in semantics, let's instead approach each day, each person with an attitude of appreciation. Appreciation, after all is the combination of being thankful and expressing gratitude.

After all, our attitude is the only thing we can fully control.

There is an ease to being appreciative when things go the way we want them to go. The real challenge and true opportunity is when we can stretch to be appreciative of what does not go the way we anticipated. Remember to allow the feeling, and express it outwardly in order to engage in the full act of appreciation.

Sound nutty? It is in that filling way nuts can offer flavor and give you some nourishment. The ability to see through a situation and get the learning, is something that nourishes the soul and feeds our growth. Being appreciative in the midst of adversity or disagreement or challenge is being thankful it is not worse, and grateful for what comes out of it for you...regardless of what others attempt to influence or change.

As we finish our leftovers and start on the holiday shopping and sharing, please include appreciation on your daily list of activities!

Giving Thanks!

“Appreciation is a wonderful thing. It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.” ~ Voltaire

Thankfulness is something we tend to talk about and celebrate primarily in November in The United States of America. Still, thankfulness and appreciation for an act or abundance need not be reserved for days when turkey is traditionally served.



Regardless of your religion, position in life, or state of mind, often we are with others in groups around events and/or celebrations. When with others during special occasions, holidays, or every day, simply be thankful for them this way:



State his/her name (or nickname...it’s okay with family/friends...avoid nicknames in business), You make me thankful for you because of your (attribute) and you inspire me to (their inspiration to you). Thank you.



Example I: Danielle, you make me thankful for you because of your creative wit and you inspire me to be playful. Thank you.



Example II (with varied verbiage): Steve, you make me thankful for your generosity and you make me want to be a giving person as well. Thank you.



Example III (letting someone know you acted as a result of them/their inspiration): Carol, you make me thankful for you because you taught me to listen well and because of you, I became a Big Sister. Thank you.



Example IV (a strictly professional affiliation): John, you make me thankful for your loyalty and because of your referrals, you have been a part of my business/sales growth. Thank you.



Note that the word “I” is not used as the first word (or really much at all). This is to ensure the other person knows it is about him or her and for him or her. Keep you thankful, and that other person in the forefront of the message and thankfulness.



Go ahead, use one or all of these with people for whom you are thankful...on a special day...or any day...and see how it makes a difference for you and the person with whom you shared! Happy Thanksgiving!